Hey, it was the actual escape they kept claiming they were giving us all Spring and Summer.
The intro to SummerSlam followed by Asuka and Bayley’s entrances really put over the power of the THUNDERDOME, even if it’s going to be another month before they figure the crowd noise and fans out (if ever). I’m sure the good old boys love the laser lights, but more anything the ThunderDome – at least for the moment – provides the big feel that’s been missing from all of wrestling since the audiences went away.
0. WWE U.S. Title: Apollo Crews [c] vs. MVP
As he will do from time to time, MVP did the favors for Apollo in a little over 5 minutes. It’s OK enough, but Crews debuted in 2015 (!) and I am still waiting for the actual showcase match. MVP is capable of this TV match, but he’s a step behind and clearly a billion times better at being a manager. **
1. SmackDown Women’s Title: Bayley [c] vs. Asuka
What a match. WHAT A MATCH!! The Four Horsewomen rule, but Asuka is right there in so many of their best matches. Her entrance felt like a proper big time PPV opener entrance too and sometimes this grumpy middle-aged man just wants some spectacle, you know? The wrestling was as quality as anything this year, crowd or not: big fight feel and intensity, creative offense (Bayley’s double kneebreaker on the apron!), fun twists and turns (that Bayley elbow to the cross armbreaker!), high drama – even the sudden cradle finish worked for what they were doing. Great stuff that set the tone and got the good vibes rolling. ***3/4
2. RAW Tag Team Title: Street Profits [c] vs. Andrade & Angel Garza w/ Zelina Vega
This was such a Tag Team Match but the twist is that I missed Tag Team Matches. They’ve been happening sure, but none of them really felt like actual Tag Team Matches. Between the cool double teams and wild finishing sequence, this actually did! I dig Andrade and Garza but they just provided a base for The Street Profits Show – anything Ford does looks big time while Dawkins has quietly become one of the best hot tags in the business. Despite the odd choice of Spirit Squad attire, the Profits showed up. ***1/2
3. Loser Leaves WWE No DQ Match: Mandy Rose vs. Sonya Deville
The saga of Mandy and Sonya went on a little too long considering TV kept forgetting it was actually a thing, but I am glad they got to have the big time blowoff match that all of this deserved. They really just let them have a straightforward brawl and it ruled, with less of the usual WWE “let’s slowly drag each other around the arena” and more of the “hey I really want to beat your ass.” That shouldn’t be a surprise but hey – here we are. This was 10 minutes of a shit-kicking and it didn’t let up – as per usual, the women do more real pro wrestling than the men. ***1/2
4. Street Fight: Dominik Mysterio w/ Rey Mysterio vs. Seth Rollins w/ Murphy
Seth Rollins might not be the guy to have the most natural chemistry with the Mysterio Family but he’s an ideal name who can carry Dom, do the WWE main event gimmicks, and get everything over with the old man. Dom hit all the big Rey Rey tribute spots like a pro but also took an old school powerbomb like a crazy person. The No DQ stuff filled in any dead spots too – a cool, effective, and quality 20-minute debut for no less than the SON OF REY MYSTERIO. ***3/4
5. RAW Women’s Title: Sasha Banks [c] vs. Asuka
Here’s my two favorites just beating each other’s ass for 10 minutes, just a physical bunch of fighting before Asuka locked Sasha into a hold she could not escape. I dug Sasha going right at Asuka’s knee at the start too – they dropped any pleasantries and got right to it, which wrestling can always use more of. Asuka’s bump on the floor off a sunset flip powerbomb was legitimately sickening, made all the more amazing by Asuka’s explanation on Twitter that she’s just a damn professional. Sometimes this pro wrestling stuff is just amazing. Great submission-trading at the end too. What a night of Asuka. ***3/4
6. WWE Title: Drew McIntyre [c] vs. Randy Orton
Incredibly, they slowed it down. Like really slowed it down. There’s a time and place for the 20-minute methodical well-worked championship match, but I am not sure the semi-main of this particular show was it. Everything they did seemed fine and followed all the rules of wrestling but it also felt like the inverse of what I wanted to watch at the time. ***
7. Falls Count Anywhere – WWE Universal Title: Braun Strowman [c] vs. The Fiend
Braun and Bray are not good bell-to-bell wrestlers, so they rely on the brawl. But they are not good brawlers, so they rely on the WWE Superstar tricks. But they are not good WWE Superstars, so there’s nothing to rely on until THE BIG DOG comes back. *3/4
The last two matches made for a possibly rough landing, but Roman Reigns’ returning with major league trash talk and NEW TEETH to completely wreck the two jerks who have been stinking up SmackDown since WrestleMania was a celebration I think everybody needed. I wish we didn’t have to spend so much time with Braun and Bray to get here, but hey HERE WE ARE!!!
Happy Thoughts: This was a great show: plenty of variety, good matches, and actually clean finishes. The fresh feel of ThunderDome helped but they kept it to three hours, didn’t overthink anything, and all the wrestlers were clearly working extra hard. Finally, a fun night at the matches. 8/10
