LISTEN UP, TOUGH GUY! Hacksaw Jim Duggan is kicking off this show now!
Because … * double take * Hulk Hogan isn’t here? Excuse me, is that right?
Yes, that’s right. Macho Man Randy Savage is headlining the show with his first WWF Title defense on television, while Bobby the Brain has got lines for Hacksaw Jim: When you wrestle one member of the Heenan Family, you wrestle the WHOLE family, see! And when we’re done with you, they’re gonna call you Jigsaw Jim! You know why? Because there’s gonna be a lot of missing pieces! BWAHAHAHA!
FREAK OUT, FREAK OUT – IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT’S MAIN EVENT!!
The first Saturday Night’s Main Event without a Hulk Hogan match was taped at the Springfield Civic Center in Springfield, Massachusetts, and Vince McMahon and Jesse Ventura provide their customary loud introduction to the show.
The Jesse Ventura Fashion Watch is this: his snakeskin camouflage safari hat with a leather jacket and zebra print, pink boa, white t-shirt, and what appears to be either purple or camouflage pants. This is less Ventura being outrageous and more just him haphazardly throwing on different accessories he’s already worn. Shame.
1. Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs. Hercules w/ Bobby Heenan and Andre the Giant
Duggan had a career anybody should be envious of, but right after WrestleMania in 1988 it kind of seemed like he was getting setup to be a GUY. He knocked out Andre the Giant with his 2×4 on TV and here he opens up SNME opposite Hercules and the Heenan Family. Duggan’s AH JEEZ selling is clumsy and occasionally over-the-top but makes perfect sense on Saturday Night, while by 1988 Hercules’ was more focused on gaining mass than delivering in the ring but he could still play his part. Herc LEAPS into a hiptoss and takes a big football tackle from Duggan but Heenan runs in for the DQ. Andre attacks Duggan from behind until THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR makes his presence known to the WWF Universe, taking part in his first big angle. **1/2
2. Brutus Beefcake vs. Danny Davis w/ Jimmy Hart
Jimmy Hart is another poor man among many in the WWF driven psychotic a few clips to the hair, and here he sends a “Dangerous” Danny Davis that is hurdling further and further down the card up against The Barber man. Before the match Beefcake tries to put a mop of dog hair on Mean Gene Okerlund’s head, which prompts one of the all-time lame Vince McMahon “ha-ha-ha-HAAAA” laughs. Davis gets a few shots in before Beefcake rallies back, responding to a drop-down with a knee to the face that reads more like Davis just collapsing into a knee. Brutus struts and puts on the sleeper for the win, then cuts and dyes some hair. It’s not GOOD but it sure is an eye into whatever was going on in 1988. *1/2
3. WWF World Heavyweight Title: Macho Man Randy Savage [c] w/ Elizabeth vs. One Man Gang w/ Slick
The Slick gimmick is a confounding beast, both totally hilarious and phenomenally awful, both tone-deaf and right on point for WWF 80s mania. “See dude you tryin’ to be sarcaaaastic or sumthin’?” he quizzes Mean Gene before the match, before Mean Gene sends him and One Man Gang to the ring with the perfect send-off: “Vince – if that’s greatness, then I’ve been wrong all along.”
Post-championship win Randy Savage is like Adderall as a wrestler, a guy determined to accomplish so many things at once: be a badass, be a star, succeed Hogan, and give Elizabeth all the credit because even though he is awesome he is really only likable when people see the LOVE. Savage actually approaches this pretty cool, always trying to grab at or keep One Man Gang in a facelock or lockup until he can’t. I like Gang, but he can be a pretty immovable blob and while he provided a fine mountain for Macho Man to climb the wrestling was not always effective. He DOES take an incredible backwards bump to the floor and I still can’t tell whether he went over the top rope or under it.
Slick creeps on Liz to distract Savage but clocks Gang with the cane by mistake, setting up a quick ascent up the top rope for a Macho Man elbow. This is a great Savage performance in an otherwise OK match with a crowd that was IN… though maybe not Hogan in. ***
4. The British Bulldogs vs. Demolition w/ Mr. Fuji
The meat here is in the pre-match promos, where Mean Gene asks Dynamite Kid and Davey Boy Smith to both individually comment on Demolition’s threat of dipping their pet dog Matilda in chrome. “Never, Gene!” shouts a dead-eyes Dynamite Kid, to which Gene responds, “That’s the kind of loyalty you never see in today’s ME generation… I call that doggone loyalty!”
The matchup is between two of the better teams of the 80s, though they don’t get much time and Dynamite is pretty broken. Regardless they get right to the point and provide some fine action on the TV before they get to the Sports Entertainment: Mr. Fuji grabs Matilda and gets chased to the back by the Bulldogs, then on return from commercial the Bulldogs hit Demolition with Fuji’s cane and get DQ’d. Eh. *3/4
5. Magnificent Muraco w/ Superstar Billy Graham vs. Ted DiBiase w/ Virgil
This is really short and the finish stinks, but DiBiase is all fired up and ready to impress after his initial big WrestleMania IV push. He’s super intense on offense and takes one of the nastiest back body drop tailbone bumps you will ever see on defense. Then he bodyslams Muraco and gets a 3-count, even though Muraco’s foot was on the ropes. Like, The Rock Muraco was getting a little push at the start of 1988 – but why this finish? Why? *1/2
The Million Dollar Man’s cheap win over Don Muraco has apparently made him the #1 Contender for the WWF Championship, and Macho Man is PREPARED. DIG IT!!!
6. Koko B. Ware vs. Rick Rude w/ Bobby Heenan
There is a seriously good 10-minute Koko/Rude match on the 4/11/88 Prime Time Wrestling where they get time to develop the babyface/heel dynamic before a feel-good countout win for Koko. Here, Rude aggressively attacks Koko and wins with the Rude Awakening in 3 and a half minutes. *1/2
Happy Thoughts: Swapping Hogan for Savage should be a breath of fresh air, but there is a spark missing from this entire show. It’s fun seeing Savage and Duggan in prime positions, even if nothing here is really must-see. 4/10
