This is a grab bag of clips all introduced and explained by Mean Gene Okerlund in a little green box. Random bloopers from Mean Gene and Lord Alfred are scattered throughout.
Nearly all of this stuff has been covered or at least mentioned elsewhere on Happy Wrestling Land. I’ll rate these on a scale of whether they’re worth seeing or not beyond a late night 30-second YouTube curiosity.
Ted DiBiase pays off Chris Curtis (Wrestling Challenge 8/23/87)
I love how earnestly the WWF (and Gene) explains in detail their already well-produced over-the-top angles. Here the recently re-introduced Million Dollar Man, who if his name didn’t tip you off that he was rich enters with a sparkly tuxedo that has money signs on it, announces he doesn’t want to break a sweat against a preliminary wrestler named Chris Curtis because DiBiase is a main event wrestler. He brings in a gentleman named Mr. Washington to take his place, e says he doesn’t want to break a sweat against a preliminary guy as he’s a main event wrestler. He brings in Mr. Washington to take his place, only for Washington to promptly lose and get laid out by DiBiase and Virgil. All of this was a pitch perfect intro: DiBiase is so condescending, Virgil seems so mean, and Gorilla Monsoon on commentary is wondering whether any of this is even legal. 1/1
Jesse Ventura on TNT (TNT 1/25/85)
Jesse “The Body” Ventura takes in footage of him squashing the eventual Brooklyn Brawler in 1984, then sits on the TNT couch wearing a headdress that covers his face and is either doing a bit or legitimately stoned to the ends of the earth. He calls Vince “Jack” and accuses Lord Alfred Hayes of having herpes, which sure is a trip. 1/2
Hulk Hogan beats Macho Man Randy Savage (MSG 1/27/86)
This is from the Hogan/Savage WWF Title series they ran almost as soon as Savage came to New York, and here they show the aftermath of Savage’s countout victory where Hogan provides an excellent ass-kicking to the delight of the MSG faithful. Savage bleeds and crawls around the floor, Hulk poses and puts on Savage’s shades. 1/3
Fabulous Moolah attacks Lord Alfred Hayes (TNT 10/25/85)
Fabulous Moolah dressed as a witch for the Halloween 1985 edition of TNT. She swatted Lord Al with the broomstick when she got an opening. 1/4
Lord Alfred Hayes pukes up Hulk Hogan’s Python Powder (TNT 8/21/84)
Classic early TNT segment – WWF Champ Hulk Hogan introduces Vince and Alfred to his line of nutrition supplements, including “Hulkster’s Python Powder” that will “soon be on the market.” Alfred takes a look and offers his review: “it’s… gray.” Vince pops supplements with the Hulkster and sucks down the shake with love in his voice, while Alfred takes a sip and barfs. 2/5
Guest Referee Gorilla Monsoon carries Superstar Billy Graham (MSG 8/1/77)
Gorilla Monsoon does commentary over a brief clip of him refereeing this very awesome WWWF World Heavyweight Title match between Bruno Sammartino vs. Superstar Billy Graham, a match where Superstar tries to escape to the back and big Gorilla lifts him on his shoulders and tosses him back into the ring. 2/6
Guest Referee Swede Hanson bodyslams Don Muraco (Philadephia Spectrum 4/30/83)
Swede Hanson referees an Andre the Giant & Rocky Johnson vs. Big John Studd & Don Muraco tag match, and when things get out of hands he slams the Magnificent One. 2/7
Mean Gene Okerlund teams up with Hulk Hogan (Minneapolis 8/26/84)
Mean Gene just COULD NOT resist putting himself on this tape! As the WWF expanded, they not only took Hogan and Gene from the AWA but shot an angle where they teamed up against George “The Animal” Steele & Mr. Fuji in AWA territory. The crowd is hot for the silliness, Gene in his little black trunks. Hogan slams Gene on top of Fuji for 3 to a monstrous pop. 2/8
Terry Funk attacks Mel Phillips (Championship Wrestling 6/29/85)
This is a brief clip from Terry Funk’s WWF debut on Championship Wrestling, a great bit of TV opposite Aldo Marino that immediately sets the tone: he kicks Aldo’s ass, puts a cowboy hat on that creep timekeeper Mel Phillips and kicks his ass, then kicks Aldo’s ass again. 3/9
Terry Funk loses to and brands Junkyard Dog (MSG 9/23/85)
This is another brief clip in the middle of the Funk/JYD feud where a downed JYD gets branded by that bastard Funk. Heat, baby. 3/10
Junkyard Dog vs. Terry Funk w/ Jimmy Hart (SNME 11/2/85)
This includes the full greatest 5-minute match of all time, which ends with JYD stripping Jimmy Hart and branding him on the ass. The EMBARRASSMENT! My original review is below. I kinda liked it:
I had never seen this match before and as I write this I can confidently say it is one of my favorite matches of all time. It is a masterful Terry Funk performance within the confinements of WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event, and it is amazing. Everything leads into an eventual pop. Everything is perfectly timed. Everything is clicking. Everything is incredible. Terry taunts the crowd on his entrance and JYD creeps up behind him and drags him into the ring as Funk desperately tries to escape. Funk chases JYD to the outside and climbs over the top rope like he’s Kane or something and JYD see-saws him – it is AMAZING. Funk sells his dick on the floor and removes his chaps. He goes back in and misses an elbow (pop), then gets slammed to the outside (pop). JYD hits the crawling headbutts and Funk sells them like a crazy person, flopping around then standing and punching the air before falling. Jimmy Hart meanwhile is on the outside, alternatively barking shit and hiding. Funk goes to the floor and teases getting back in the ring, then bails and climbs over the guardrail and talks shit to fans. Terry is such a creepy old man bastard, bulky enough to look tough but flabby enough that you know he doesn’t bother going to the gym.
There is a great subtle spot later in the match where Funk Irish whips JYD and JYD holds onto the ropes as Funk drops down like a goof. JYD goes after Hart, Funk goes after JYD, Funk lands a straight-up left hand and gets a near fall. Oh – crowd is still going NUTS. Funk locks on a sleeper, JYD escapes, Funk misses a clothesline, JYD does his own sleeper, Hart gets on the apron, JYD grabs Hart and the megaphone flies in the ring, the ref is distracted by JYD and Hart so Funk hits JYD with the megaphone and wins. GOD, this was so GOOD. Super ultra simple but compelling from bell-to-bell. Everything is tight, JYD is super over, Terry Funk does Terry Funk things, and it rules. Just the best example that despite all the “kids these days…” whining from the 80s generation, the 80s generation is sometimes right – when done correctly, this type of work – all character and timing, minimal bumps – is #1. ****1/2 and 4/11
Ted DiBiase buys out a Honeymoon Suite (Prime Time 8/3/87)
This is one of the Million Dollar Man and Virgil vignettes, where DiBiase bribes a hotel clerk $300 to kick a couple out of the honeymoon suite at the top. It seems like more trouble than it’s worth, you know? 4/12
Leaping Lanny Poffo reads a poem about Ted DiBiase (Wrestling Classic 9/13/87)
Mr. Dibiase has the world at his feet,
And if the price is right he’ll never fail,
Destroying human dignity is how he gets his kicks,
but there are still some things in life that aren’t for sale!
Easy money comes and goes but there’s no satisfaction
like the feeling of an honest day’s work,
Lead us not to temptation but deliver us from evil,
Don’t you listen to that Million Dollar Jerk!
DiBiase is outraged and attacks. 5/13
Andre the Giant unmasks Black Demon (Championship Wrestling 3/28/81)
Early 80s Andre beats a bulky masked wrestler named Black Demon with a big boot, then turns to sign autographs only to be attacked from behind by Demon. Andre fights back and does a forceful hiptoss where poor Demon’s mask flies off mid-air. The rare amusing moment that also served as a quality angle to get a guy over as a killer. 6/14
Randy Savage and Adrian Adonis attack Hulk Hogan (Boston Garden 6/27/86)
After a short and disappointing Savage vs. Hogan match from Boston Garden, Adrian Adonis (in hat, wig and summer dress) runs out and attacks Hogan. Savage and Adonis throw hands, but Hogan fights back and puts on the wig before he poses. The Savage/Adonis team ruled but this is quick and dumb. 6/15
Paul Orndorff fires Bobby Heenan (TNT 4/26/85)
Mr. Wonderful fired Bobby Heenan as a manager twice, once after the first WrestleMania then again in the summer of 1987 after Heenan brought Rick Rude into the Heenan Family. So EMBARRASSING! Here Orndorff and Heenan sit down with Vince and react to the finish of WrestleMania, which included not just Orndorff losing but also being helped up by Hogan and Mr. T. Heenan references a meeting he had with Piper earlier in the day and Orndorff gets hot, which gets Heenan hot, which leads to Heenan saying he made Mr. Wonderful and Mr. Wonderful standing above Heenan and FIRING HIM. Tremendous angle. Vince’s reaction afterwards is classic, completely amused over everything that is happening, while Heenan’s rant on Orndorff is EPIC and legitimately scary – such a master at work. Nobody sold embarrassed rage like Heenan. 7/16
Paul Orndorff fires Bobby Heenan (Superstars 8/22/87)
Orndorff eventually re-joined Heenan after turning on Hogan in 1986, but here Heenan brings Orndorff onto the Superstars stage to tell him “what he told him” – that Rude has the best body in the WWF now and he isn’t jealous. Orndorff responds by firing Heenan and introducing newcomer Sir Oliver Humperdink, who is a babyface but doesn’t really work like it. It’s great that Orndorff fired Heenan twice, but the sequel was nowhere near the first. 7/17
George “The Animal” Steele wears Harley Race’s crown and cape (Boston Garden 9/12/87)
They show most of this match, where George throws Harley all around the Boston Garden for seven minutes and Harley commits 200% like he always did. Steele throws a chair in the ring during the chaos, which Harley uses and gets DQ’d for. Afterwards Steele chases him backstage and sits around in Race’s costume. The crowd pops for the hijinks but this goes on FOREVER. 7/18
Dynamite Kid beats Nikolai Volkoff in seconds (Wrestling Challenge 11/7/85)
From the first round of The Wrestling Classic, Nikolai Volkoff sings the Russian National Anthem only to get hit with a missile dropkick at the bell for the 3-count. Great sports entertainment. Dynamite would take a bit longer to beat Adrian Adonis in the Quarter Finals, going 6 minutes, before falling to Randy Savage in the Semi Finals in 5 minutes. 7/19
Bam Bam Bigelow announces Oliver Humperdink as his manager (Superstars 9/5/87)
This was the blowoff of The Battle for Bam Bam, an angle that introduced Bam Bam Bigelow into the WWF for the first time. It was a take-off of Randy Savage’s intro, where all the managers are jockeying to sign this impressive newcomer. Week by week Jesse Ventura would inform the heel managers in the locker room that they weren’t getting Bam Bam, only for Slick to jump the gun and say he got him. Slick then tries to introduce his new recruit on Superstars, but Bam Bam storms out and introduces Oliver Humperdink, who had recently joined the WWF as a babyface manager and rival for Bobby Heenan. Humperdink’s over-the-top fist pump is hilarious but I don’t think he fit the role this needed. 7/20
Live Piper’s Pit w/ Bruno Sammartino (MSG 10/21/85)
Piper and Bruno are trading barbs like they’re opening a Monday Night RAW and it’s kind of amazing. Bruno demands Piper get rid of “that garbage” (Cowboy Bob) and do the interview one-on-one, then incenses Piper when he says that dudes in Italy don’t wear skirts. Piper GOES FOR IT and calls Bruno a racial slur, so Bruno pushes him over a chair and they go at it. Awesome, awesome brawl. Bruno’s brief in-ring return to feud with Piper and Savage was so great. 8/21
Brutus Beefcake cuts Johnny V’s hair (Superstars 5/2/87)
Brief footage is aired of Greg Valentine and Dino Bravo abandoning Brutus Beefcake at WrestleMania III after their win over The Rougeau Brothers, which marked the end of Johnny V’s Dream Team. The same night Beefcake debuted the haircut gimmick, then moved into a quick TV feud with Johnny V to really push the haircut gimmick. This is Brutus’ official debut with “The Barber” moniker and they have the most basic of matches before the crowd is losing their shit over the sleeper hold and Beefcake messing up JV. 9/22
1986 Slammy Awards Highlights (MTV 3/1/86)
Vince McMahon introduces Gorilla Monsoon to a rousing applause, Roddy Piper interrupts Gorilla like a jackass, Nikolai Volkoff is insulted when Vince explains to him what the Most Ignominious Award is, and Junkyard Dog smacks around Jimmy Hart. 9/23
Andre the Giant on The Body Shop (All-Star Wrestling 8/24/85)
Very brief clip where Andre, recently returned from Japan, plays with Jesse Ventura’s boa and pisses him off. 9/24
Ted DiBiase has a fan dribble a basketball (All-American 10/25/87)
This is the ultimate heel promo, in which The Million Dollar Man offers a young boy a cash prize if he can dribble a basketball 20 times in a row. At 19, he kicks the ball and sends the boy on his way. The build-up followed by the absolute disgust mixed with slight amusement by the crowd is so perfect. Most other heel work is just chasing the dragon. 10/25
The show ends with Mean Gene Okerlund taking a pie to the face, then they zoom in on his fly being open. How EMBARRASSING!!!
The final tally ends up 10/25 things worth seeking out, and I’m being generous. That’s 40% – not great.
Happy Thoughts: This is basically an 80s WWF clip show, mildly fun if you haven’t seen it all before. You probably have seen most of it4/10
