1. New Japan Cup – Round 1: Togi Makabe vs. Yota Tsuji
They worked this to Makabe’s pace, so Tsuji was just there to grimace and elbow in vain. He managed a nice cradle near fall before a simple German suplex hold sent the former Shinya Makabe, the former junior heavyweight, the former IWGP Champion, into Round 2. *1/2
2. New Japan Cup – Round 1: Toru Yano vs. Jado
An uncoordinated, barely mobile comedy match – bad, but also good. Jado takes a turnbuckle TO THE HEAD, wobbles around for a bit, and takes the worst Flair Flop you’ll ever see before Yujiro does what appears to be contractually obligated interference. The finish gets points for creativity, something you know Gedo saw on the undercard the other night during his 11th Mid-South rewatch: Yano low blows both Jado and Gedo, pushes Gedo into Yujiro, and rolls Jado up for 3. *1/2
3. Hiroshi Tanahashi, Kota Ibushi, Yuji Nagata & Yuya Uemura vs. Minoru Suzuki, Zack Sabre Jr., Taichi & Yoshinobu Kanemaru
Let’s hear it for Yuji Nagata! He’s not doing a whole lot here, but let’s just hear it for him. Really, nobody was doing a whole lot here besides pairing off to remind you of their varying matches over the next couple days. Uemura fearlessly running at Suzuki was tremendous, as was the camera shot of Zack and Ibushi talking shit to each other on the apron after the match as Suzuki and Nagata casually brawled in the background. *3/4
4. New Japan Cup – Round 1: Tomoaki Honma vs. Hiromu Takahashi
Honma and Hiromu attempt a full on New Japan way-too-long main event and it… WORKED? WHAT? I don’t know what to tell you. The early stuff was a little rough as they take it slow for a match that can’t possibly be going past ten minutes, and before long fifteen minutes have passed by and these guys are engaged in some vaguely epic battle in which I totally bought Honma actually winning. When Hiromu struggles to lift Honma for and eventually and drops the TIME BOMB, all of it – all EIGHTEEN MINUTES of it – feels earned, like the Jr. Champ really did have to pull out all the stops to compete with and ultimately defeat this heavyweight scrub.
Honma takes a classic insane bump on the apron too, which felt a little unnecessary but was a cherry of ridiculousness on top of this strange masterpiece. In any other era it’s just a decent match, but in this one it stood out. ***
5. New Japan Cup – Round 1: Tomohiro Ishii vs. El Desperado
It’s a weird main event on paper, but everything about this situation is weird. They take the concept and run with it, and Ishii takes Desperado for a ride on the Ishii Main Event Match Express. Despy plays a part too – his screwing with Ishii early on is inspired, and he does an awesome spear takedown into a stretch muffler. The near falls at the end are some of the better ones I’ve seen with no crowd reaction too… when Desperado kicked out of the sliding lariat, it was like those GIF’s of people mouthing words where your brain tricks you into hearing it. Ah. Now I’m reflecting on how sad that statement is. I miss wrestling with a crowd. ***1/4
Happy Thoughts: These are being graded on a curve because, I mean – how can they not? Solid show. The last two are genuinely worth seeing just to see New Japan really actually back at it. 6/10
