Brand to Brand Invitation? Just merge the god damn brands.
RAW (5/11/20)
Like, really. Actually. Becky Lynch handed the RAW Women’s Title to Asuka. She’s going to go have a baby. Legendary reign ends a legendary way.
The rest of this show was kind of trash. WWE has found a rhythm with these Performance Center shows, but I don’t like it. Same stories, less wrestlers, no crowd. Not that there should be a crowd. But if there isn’t going to be a crowd, there should at least be different stories.
Besides Becky, the most interesting part of the show was probably Seth. He didn’t have to wrestle or say much either. There’s just a lot going on with him: his fiancé is pregnant, he’s going to be a dad, he lost to McIntyre, he lost to Owens, there’s a pandemic, he misses Mox, and his hair is just out of control.
Seth dealing with all this could be interesting, but it might not be.
He and Murphy wrestled Rey Mysterio & Aleister Black (who both survived being thrown off a roof Sunday night by landing on a smaller roof beneath that roof). The match was mostly Murphy doing fun wrestling while Rollins moped on the apron. Then as Rey set up a 619, Rollins grabbed him and dragged him to the floor where he tried to gouge his eye out with a corner of the ring steps. It was the coolest wrestling angle in a while.
I loved Shayna Baszler‘s line on Becky: “Know who the father is? I rest my case.” I liked her beating Natalya with a straight-up running knee.
Zelina Vega‘s crew made Drew McIntyre Look Strong this week, including a forgettable Drew McIntyre vs. Andrade match.
Bobby Lashley vs. Humberto Carrillo in a No DQ Match was a fine David/Goliath type of match, not quite worth seeking out but I get why they’re employed.
I missed The IIconics promos, but not their wrestling matches.
RAW ended with Randy Orton and Edge providing the viewer with SOOOOO much unnecessary exposition before Orton challenged Edge to a “WRESTLING MATCH” that Charly Caruso quickly tanked by having to say on national television that it might be the “greatest wrestling match ever.”
Huh.
It says a lot about the current moment that there isn’t much to say about that.
NXT (5/13/20)
The Timothy Thatcher and Matt Riddle team lasted all of three weeks, as the big story this week was Big Thatch deserting Riddle in their NXT Tag Team Titles defense against Fabian Aichner & Marcel Barthel, enabling Imperium to win the Tag Titles. They’re a fine team that we’re all still waiting to click. The drop down for an armdrag was a casually great tag team move.
Triple H, Shawn Michaels and Road Dogg showed up from the Control Center to announce TakeOver: In Your House. OK.
The Interim Cruiserweight Title Tournament is filling a good quarter of these shows, and it’s only a little bit better than an episode of 205 Live. Tony Nese chopped Jake Atlas HARD until he lost, then Jack Gallagher and Swerve Scott traded moves for a bit to setup a… Nese/Swerve feud. GOSH.
Cameron Grimes tossed Finn Balor around a bit before Damian Priest attacked Finn Balor. Welcome to NXT. Priest is the most overtly NXT TV trained wrestler since Nia Jax.
Are The Gargano’s the new Wyatt Family now? Eh promo on Keith Lee & Mia Yim with a lot of EFFECTS.
A hastily setup Matt Riddle vs. Timothy Thatcher closed the show and was really great for the 7 or so minutes it lasted. There’s a more epic match with more time and a crowd, but good old-fashioned tough guy grappling is one of the only styles ones well-suited to the awkward WWE empty arena production. No matter what they were doing, somebody was always grabbing some thigh meat. A lame show, but a quality main event.
MAIN EVENT (5/13/20)
NXT UK (5/14/20)
Eddie Dennis chose Owen Hart vs. British Bulldog to determine the first European Champion from RAW 3/3/97, an excellent match with all the good stuff: a superplex countered with a pin, a LEGITIMATE German suplex hold, and counters upon counters plus a little extra bloat from Bulldog.
“Growing up, I absolutely loved watching Paige wrestle” – thank you, Candy Floss. She chose the Paige Divas Title win over AJ Lee from RAW 4/7/14: awesome moment, quick match, and 2020 surprise in being reminded that Tamina was playing AJ Lee’s Diesel. What a trip.
“Primate” Jay Melrose chose Jordan Devlin vs. Bomber Dave Mastiff from NXT UK 10/31/19, a match I said things about at the time:
The feud was paint-by-numbers but the match was good. Devlin works like such a little shit – he goes right after Bomber pre-bell, runs away, aggressively hooks his arm in all kinds of submissions and gives a great “OOH NOOOO” face when Bomber deadlifts out of one. I’m not sure why he’d try his backdrop finish on the big fella though, but the one off the top made sense and was a fine finish to the match.
Trent Seven understandably chose him and Tyler Bate‘s win of the NXT Tag Team Titles over Roderick Strong & Kyle O’Reilly from 6/26/18 at the NXT UK Championship tournament show. The review from 2018 is below, but it’s fun to be reminded of the absolute POP for that finish:
All these fellas have some excellent chemistry and it resulted in an epic wrestling match. Strong and O’Reilly are in a groove as a team and got to do their thing on this occasion against Moustache Mountain who are as over in London as prime Dusty Rhodes in Florida. It started well with Seven selling big, got great once Bate got the hot tag, and got beautiful as they headed home. Some of the saves at the end here gave me Real World Tag League flashbacks. So good.
SMACKDOWN (5/15/20)
The result of Money in the Bank has briefly launched Otis into Main Character status, including a tag team main event with Braun Strowman against John Morrison & The Miz where they not only won but the show ended with Otis teasing cashing in the Money in the Bank for Braun’s Universal Title, making out with Mandy Rose, and posing. This all could have legs, but I feel like none of the folks that could sit him down and teach him the nuances of greatness aren’t contracted to WWE.
The tag was OK but why are we sticking with the hot tag formula when no fans are present? And why did I just watch a double worm spot?
Elias vs. King Corbin in the first round of the Intercontinental Title Tournament (cya around, Sami) was kind of terrible. At no moment in any of the long amount of time they got did I feel that WWE television is a good place for a professional wrestler to progress – energy, character, execution… in the bin. Then Elias beat ol Baron with a rollup.
Naomi vs. Dana Brooke was no good either, but also it went like 90 seconds.
That Forgotten Sons promo didn’t read right.
Charlotte Flair stirring the pot between Bayley and Sasha Banks gave the SmackDown women’s division some intrigue for the first time in months. Merge the brands!
Daniel Bryan vs. Drew Gulak wasn’t the main event, but should have been. If this is Gulak’s last match with WWE for a while, it’s a rare perfect exit – 10-15 minutes going toe-to-toe with Dan Bryan with some of the coolest trickiest matwork you’ll ever see on WWE TV. These are guys who are good at this and know how to take what they’re good at and make it serious. So YOU, the viewer, inherently treat the match just a little more serious.
They locked up and based every movement around each other’s weight and momentum, wristlocks and waistlocks for days. At one point Gulak put Bryan in a waistlock and just tossed him over the top rope. They escalated it smartly and brought the pain towards the end: a spike bodyslam from Gulak, a snap German suplex from Bryan. It ended with a sudden ankle pick and heel hook submission by Bryan too, like this was a real fight and he just caught ol’ Drew.
205 LIVE (5/15/20)
Tehuti Miles appears to be doing a bit of a Velveteen Dream deal, which I’d say is a reboot but Corey did mention Dream out loud. He wrestled Tyler Breeze and did slightly better than usual with the… usual.
Tony Nese and Jack Gallagher ended the show with a pretty lifeless match that picked up when Jack threw a headbutt and won with an out-of-nowhere rolling elbow. Also, there was a bodyscissors.
My Favorite Things
- Daniel Bryan and Drew Gulak Had a Wrestling Match
- Matt Riddle and Timothy Thatcher Had a Wrestling Match
- I Watched British Bulldog vs. Owen Hart
WWE TV Match of the Week: Daniel Bryan vs. Drew Gulak from SmackDown
WWE TV MVP of the Week: Drew Gulak
