Working Man’s WWE TV Review: 5/3/20 – 5/9/20

YAAAAAAAWWWWWNNN

RAW (5/4/20)

Drew McIntyre probably isn’t the best champion for pandemic WWE. Part of the fun was seeing him get over. Now every main event he has with some guy who lives close to the PC is a 10-minute reminder of the disconcerting time we are in.

The build to Money in the Bank is always the same – participants are announced, then they argue about who is going to climb that ladder, grab that briefcase, and go on to win the championship. Watching it in an empty arena brings only sorrow.

Half the show was a Gauntlet Match for the last spot in the match. Bobby Lashley vs. Shelton Benjamin kind of ruled, otherwise it was a match where this happened: Bobby Lashley ran through a few guys easily, Humberto Carrillo eliminated him but only by DQ as Lashley kicked his ass too much, Humberto won the next two matches against Angel Garza and Austin Theory, and then AJ Styles came back from the dead and won.

That last part makes it sound cool, but it was wild how counterproductive this was. Besides just not being good, you’ve made almost everybody in the match look worse.

The Viking Raiders vs. Street Profits had bits of real good stuff, though it had some other stuff too. That other stuff wasn’t much, but that real good stuff was real good.

Charlotte Flair promos feel like the South Park wrestling episode now. On and on and…

Rating: 1/10

NXT (5/6/20)

NXT’s roster is more stacked than RAW or SmackDown’s right now, but the show is still bleak stuff. This had Cole/Dream for the NXT Title, Charlotte/Io for the NXT Women’s Title, Gargano/Dijakovic, and Killer Kross’ debut – that the output felt so forgettable means trouble.

The big highlight was Charlotte Flair vs. Io Shirai for the NXT Women’s Title, another Charlotte title match that delivered because the key to these empty arena matches is to treat things seriously and hit each other real hard. Io running the ropes and just owning Charlotte early was awesome, and they were working towards a real crescendo before the DQ finish.

Rhea Ripley is back. Yup.

Is NXT embracing the sprint? Probably not, but there were some good short matches on this show. Akira Tozawa vs. Jack Gallagher in the Cruiserweight Tournament wasn’t as awesome as their CWC match but it sure did get to the point. I liked that, because both guys have some cool offense that loses its luster when WWE forces them to go long.

KUSHIDA vs. Jake Atlas got to the point too, though it wasn’t as cool.

Adam Cole vs. Velveteen Dream for the NXT Title was also a shorty, though it felt less like a quick cool sprint and more like a contractually obligated 8 minutes they had to get through. A serious fall from grace if anything mattered anymore.

Of course, Johnny Gargano and his new theme music didn’t go short. Him vs. Dominik Dijakovic had a few nice spots but little Johnny working over big Dijakovic and beating him with a slingshot DDT felt like a failure on all levels.

The Karrion Kross and Scarlett debut and Finn Balor messing with Cameron Grimes rounded out the show.

Rating: 5/10

MAIN EVENT (5/6/20)

Notable happenings this week included R-Truth beating Cal Bloom with an AA, and Kairi Sane working babyface again versus Ruby Riott. She’s pretty good at it!

Rating: 3/10

NXT UK (5/7/20)

This was a Rise of Imperium special, which included WALTER‘s TV debut, his NXT UK Title defense against Pete Dunne from NXT UK TV, the Imperium vs. British Strong Style 6-man from TV, and Imperium vs. Undisputed Era 8-man from Worlds Collide.

Imperium still hasn’t hit like you want, but that WALTER is pretty good.

Rating: 4/10

SMACKDOWN (5/8/20)

Nothing is happening on SmackDown. Daniel Bryan being involved in all of this shouldn’t make it even sadder.

Mandy Rose vs. Sonya Deville had the most low key grudge match of the last decade. John Morrison did a REVERSE Finlay Roll in an 8-man with the dumb SmackDown tag division. Jeff Hardy had words with Sheamus and Braun Strowman had words with Bray Wyatt. I considered whether the SmackDown women’s division is just an elaborate prank on Bayley and Sasha Banks.

Daniel Bryan, Drew Gulak & Otis vs. King Corbin, Shinsuke Nakamura & Cesaro was the main event. What a world.

Rating: 2/10

205 LIVE (5/8/20)

Oney Lorcan was the focus of The Matches That Made Me here, but somehow that’s not the actual lead – Jeremy Borash has finally been pulled from the basement and appears to be hosting 205 Live moving forward.

JB once rudely reached over me at a live Jim Ross show to hand the microphone to a guy in an AJ Styles shirt who asked a dumb question, so I’ve got heat with JB.

Oney Lorcan filmed himself at his home throwing logs around, then turning to the camera and saying: “What’s up? I’m Oney Lorcan.” So he’s cool with me.

He also chose Ultimo Dragon vs. Dean Malenko from Starrcade 1996 for his throwback match, so he’s extra cool with me. It’s a classic I enjoyed watching again. Ultimo keeps the pressure on Malenko and the WCW crowd flips out for anything Dean is able to get in – a back body drop, butterfly suplex, or simple block of a headscissors.

Oney and Danny Burch vs. Brian Kendrick & Ariya Daivari in a No DQ Match from February was the other match, and that one didn’t quite resonate with me.

Tom Phillips‘ sign-off at the end is legendary: “Tom Phillips is OUT” – then he walks away and laments, “I’ve got like 6 brands in this company…”

Rating: 5/10

My Favorite Things

1. Charlotte Flair and Io Shirai Have a Big Fight Match on NXT
2. Kairi Sane Works Babyface on Main Event
3. The Street Profits vs. The Viking Raiders on RAW

WWE TV Match of the Week: Charlotte Flair vs. Io Shirai for the NXT Women’s Title on NXT

WWE TV MVP of the Week: Io Shirai