Working Man’s WWE TV Review: 3/15/20 – 3/21/20

WHERE ARE THE TESTS

RAW (3/16/20)

Last Friday was an admirable experiment, this Friday was better, but watching WWE without a crowd is like watching a sitcom without a laugh track – all the beats are exposed.

It was especially jarring watching them go ahead with a build to a WrestleMania that will take place in front of no zero fans.

I am not convinced any of this, from the laughably serious Edge promo to The Undertaker angrily flipping a table to even the thought of Goldberg revving a crowd of nobody up, is going to work.

At least Rey Mysterio and Andrade wrestled. That suplex to 619 was so smooth.

This year’s Royal Rumble was good but glad I saved an hour-and-a-half not watching it again.

I can’t yell about much of this being “bad” given the circumstances, but it’s not like whatever Kevin Owens and Becky Lynch were doing beforehand were lighting the business on fire.

Apparently, only Stone Cold Steve Austin remains good at any of this. That’s a guy that breaks through the screen and talks directly to me, the viewer.

The rest, for now, are play fighting.

Rating: 1/10

NXT (3/18/20)

Mini-documentaries are a neat idea, but there is a pandemic going on. The Gargano/Ciampa feud has good beats, but they stretched that thing OUT.

Rating: 5/10

MAIN EVENT (3/18/20)

Bless them, they actually taped matches. Seemed like Byron Saxton and Mickie James were instructed to yell loudly on commentary to replace the crowd noise. Kind of worked?

Aleister Black soundly defeated Leon Ruff in a match where Ruff showed great trepidation. Loved it.

Angelo Dawkins – accompanied by Montez Ford – wrestled Murphy – accompanied by Akam. It was alright. That’s literally all I have to say about it.

Rating: 5/10

NXT UK (3/19/20)

Should be happy to see first run wrestling with a crowd these days, but it’s NXT UK.

They’re building up Balor/Bate, A-Kid/Noam Dar, and Nina Samuels/Aofie Valkyrie. And a Battle Royal to see who faces WALTER.

Kay Lee Ray beat Dani Luna in an eh match. Ridge Holland beat Joseph Conners in an eh match. Kassius Ohno beat Kenny Williams in an eh match with a SPECTACULAR elbow by Ohno as the finish.

Trent Seven got a big pop as he was introduced as the partner of Flash Morgan Webster and Bomber Dave Mastiff. They wrestled Gallus. Eh.

Rating: 2/10

SMACKDOWN (3/20/20)

WWE is finding a rhythm to this whole empty arena wrestling thing, but it’s still ridiculously awkward. They’ve got the resources, but the heart left a while ago. The Roman Reigns/Goldberg match, which had a * sigh* Contract Signing this week, comes across even lamer without a crowd.

I don’t know – was the Rob Gronkowski bit fun? Seemed like the absolute worst to me. Gronk’s energy works in WWE, but that might just be a poor reflection on everybody involved. A King Corbin vs. Elias WrestleMania match is either adorably old school WrestleMania 6 or just bad bad bad.

Daniel Bryan & Drew Gulak vs. Shinsuke Nakamura & Cesaro, and all the side-quests that Daniel Bryan fighting for a story with Drew Gulak is bringing, was awesome. Like not an actually great match due to TV constraints, but an example of wrestlers who are solid and credible enough to fight through this no crowd business. Lots of fun pairings here.

The Dirt Sheet was perfectly 50% fun and 50% dirt awful. Comedy is hard, you know?

Otis snapping on Dolph Ziggler and crying in Tucker‘s arms was the only actually good WWE angle this week.

Rating: 3/10

205 LIVE (3/20/20)

Both Main Event and 205 Live had two matches this week – respect.

Not that anything here was any good. Joaquin Wilde vs. Danny Burch was solid but painfully generic. Isaiah “Swerve” Scott vs. Oney Lorcan was also solid, maybe more than that, but ironically could’ve used a crowd to react to it.

Rating: 3/10

WWE TV Match of the Week: Rey Mysterio vs. Andrade, I guess

WWE TV MVP of the Week: Otis

The uneasy feeling continues.