Yuko Miyamoto vs. Shoki Kitamura
A continuation of last January’s NWA Intercontinental tag title defense with young Kitamura once again matching up with the Big Japan veteran. Kitamura’s still green and some of his transitions are pretty laborious, but he’s taken a big step forward by dropping the Pauly D-esque spiked haircut from the Samurai TV match graphics. Stay safe, Pauly D. The match was fine: Miyamoto guiding the youngster through a bunch of acceptable wrestling while also taking the time to shatter his ribs with a Moonsault kneedrop because why not. **1/4
Ikuto Hidaka, Takuya Sugawara, Yasu Kubota & Hide Kubota vs. TARU, Chris Vice, Yoshikazu Yokoyama & RAICHO
TARU was not fucking around here, carrying a coat full of pure Bolivian cocaine to the ring, possibly in hopes of bringing an end to the Coronavirus in Japan. Samurai TV once again pulled the Voodoo Murders Mercy Edit for this one and skipped right to the Revengers comeback. I’d like to publically thank them for their service. Still, there was enough time to do a Vince Russo level crooked referee angle and Yokoyama somehow won the match with a Death Valley Bomb despite losing the right to use the Death Valley Bomb last January against Takaiwa – what is even happening.
Shuji Kondo vs. SUGI
Liked this a lot more than the SUGI/HUB match from the last Korakuen. Basically, a short and sweet 10 minute version of the Kondo/Dragon Kid Toryumon matches with Kondo making all of SUGI’s high spots look like a million bucks and then promptly decapitating him with vicious lariats. The high flyer vs. power fighter dynamic was well presented and the crowd came alive for all of SUGI’s gravity-defying acrobatics. Kondo tried to add some depth to this thing by going going for the leg, which was a cool idea. SUGI’s not the greatest seller of all time but he sold just enough to get that sweet babyface sympathy from the fans. I’d be extremely down with Kondo getting a more permanent role in ZERO1. ***
Shinjiro Otani & Tatsuhito Takaiwa vs. Towa Iwasaki & Tsugutaka Sato
My favorite thing about this match might have been the comically carefree expression on Sato’s face as he was walking to the ring. A man seemingly fully ignorant of the hate-filled generational warzone he was about to step in. It goes without saying that Otani and Takaiwa are two grumpy old cranks, but their Get Off My Lawn energy was on another level in this match. They beat seven shades of shit out of the newly Okada-fied Towa Iwasaki and it made for a tense, character-driven spectacle. Even the commentator seemed to object to Takaiwa pulling out the freaking TAKAIWA DRILLER on Towa, but the absurd levels of punishment absorption made the kid look like a potential star. With Iwasaki, Sato and Shoki Kitamura announcing their youth-driven New Spirits unit, ZERO1 might have something really special on their hands. If this match was any indication, I’m all for Otani playing Jumbo to Iwasaki’s dollar store Misawa. ***1/2
Takashi Sugiura & Masato Tanaka vs. Daisuke Sekimoto & Yuji Okabayashi
Welp. To no one’s surprise, this was fantastic. We’ve already had our share of quality time limit draws this year (Nomura/Yoshida, Nakajima/Hideki) and this one was right up there. Four of the toughest motherfuckers anywhere on Earth wrestling out of their skins and making these 30 minutes just fly by. They built up the early parts of the match around an Underdog Daisuke Sekimoto subplot, which is not an easy thing to pull off considering the guy looks like Godzilla’s infant son, but Dangan Yankees came off as dangerous enough to make it work. On top of all the individual displays of bravado that were going on, I loved that it still very much felt like a tag team wrestling match with a bunch of great tag team wrestling spots.
Strong BJ’s Human Sacrifice Double German Suplex is obviously an all timer, but their assisted 2nd-rope Avalanche hold and the Yankees’ top-rope Frankensteiner into SOOPAFLY SPLASH were equally inspired. Although the last seconds of the match felt a bit anticlimactic due to Tanaka stumbling through a reversal, everything that came before had me losing my shit in my minuscule Montreal apartment. Pure sense of urgency with all four guys just aggressively going for the pin and destroying each other with brutal suplexes, lariats and forearms. A real celebration of no-bullshit pro-wrestling and hopefully a prequel to a much needed Sugiura/Okabayashi singles encounter. ****1/4
Yuji Hino © vs. Kohei Sato – World Heavyweight Title
Is it in Yuji Hino’s contract that he must hardway bleed to death in every title match? I’m kinda worried about the guy, but I can’t complain too much because blood never fails to bring drama and drama is what I crave. Anyway, this was two dick-measuring contest experts having just the match you’d expect them to have and wrapping it up with one of the wildest ending sequences you’ll find anywhere in wrestling. Hino brought the chops, Sato supplied the kicks, people got hurt and a good time was had by all. Loved the gradual shift in facial expressions, with both guys initially refusing to show any weakness before slowly but surely wincing in pain from all the full-force striking.
Kohei Sato’s shoot headbutt is the most concerning move in wrestling and they turned this thing into a brain damage-inducing work of art for the last two minutes of the match: Hino getting busted open but still putting his arms behind his back to ask for more. Sato then using Hino’s braveness/stupidity to catch him into a Shutdown German suplex was also extremely clever – the perfect exclamation mark to end all the violence. Not much wheel reinvention before the final stretch, but the match is must see for those last minutes alone. ***3/4
HARTLEY JACKSON is here and ready to take the post-apocalyptic wrestling landscape by storm so don’t you dare go anywhere.
