Allright, here’s the situation. I subscribed to DDT Universe thinking I’d be getting full NOAH coverage, but turns out I’m probably only going to get one out of twelve Korakuen Hall shows and maybe a livestream of YO-HEY’s birthday party. So, in order to get my money’s worth, I’ve made the questionable decision to try and get into DDT. This is something I attempt at least once a year and end up regretting every time. But this year will be different, I can feel it in my bones. Let’s see what the wild and wacky folks of Dramatic Dream Team are up to.
Masahiro Takanashi, Mizuki Watase & Keigo Nakamura vs. Soma Takao, Mad Paulie & Nobuhiro Shimatani
Rookie Keigo Nakamura was a pretty fascinating look at the differing training philosophies between DDT and more traditional Pure-O-Resew dojos. The kid’s a scrawny one year pro wearing a generic singlet but he’s already throwing springboard dropkicks and Moonsaults. The grumpy old man in me disapproves, but the match was allright. Mad Paulie looks like a responsible adult – I feel like I can trust him. Dug the elbow flurry from Takao during the ending stretch. **
MAO & Hiroshi Yamato vs. Toru Owashi & Super Sasadango Machine – Hair Arrangement Match
Completely forgot Toru Owashi used Sandstorm as his entrance theme – I’m feeling alive again. The hook here is that all four guys were dolled up at a popular hair salon before the match and Owashi looks particularly great (the commentary team drops an extremely accurate Antonio Banderas comparison). If you have a high tolerance for kayfabe-busting comedy (kind of a prerequisite to get into DDT), this had some fun bits: Sasadango wrestling with his cellphone, the guest hair stylist dropping a PEOPLE’S ELBOW, Owashi still not getting lucha libre.*3/4
Konosuke Takeshita, Akito & Shunma Katsumata vs. Kazusada Higuchi, Yukio Sakaguchi & Saki Akai
Higuchi, Sakaguchi and Akai form a new unit called Eruption and these folks seem to be right up my alley. From the suave white entrance coats to the in-ring badassery: all of it very much Captain Lou-approved. I quite enjoyed the parts of the match that saw them wrecking the opposition (Higuchi with his power advantage, Sakaguchi with his kicking n’ grappling) and I was less into the overly cute PWG style triple team spots and other ill-conceived attempts at This Is Awesome. **1/2
Challenge Right Anytime & Anywhere Battle Royal
Daisuke Sasaki and Yasu Urano capped this off nicely with a 2 minute mini-match for a KO-D openweight title shot at the next Saitama Super Arena show, but the Battle Royal itself was a drag. Not a big fan of the Danshoku Dino rape spots and it was a lot of that mixed with weak ladder shenanigans. Bleh.
Naomichi Marufuji vs. Kazuki Hirata
In terms of DDT comedy non-sense, I thought this was much more entertaining. Marufuji has somehow become a full-fledged member of DISASTER BOX and this was him putting stablemate goofball Kazuki Hirata through the wringer with various Kawada tribute spots until a mid-match love letter convinced him to partake in the glorious Magnum TOKYO dance routine. Both guys going through the finish while ‘’Tokyo Go’’ kept playing cracked me up as much as anything else in the match. Fun times. **1/4
Yuki Ueno & Naomi Yoshimura © vs. Chihiro Hashimoto & Yuki Iino – KO-D Tag-Team Titles
On a completely different level than anything on this show so far. Rapid-fire beef sprint with the underrated Yuki Ueno providing the occasional high spot and everyone else just laying into each other with spears, chops and lariats. This was my first time seeing Hashimoto wrestle and she blew me away, coming across as the most dangerous person in the ring while operating with Iino as some sort of Intergender Violence Giants. Her and Ueno were a golden pairing – Yuki bumping like an absolute maniac to make her offense pop. Meanwhile, Iino doing the hakata war dance and a weird people’s elbow spot (because DDT, I guess?) felt suitably random, but I dug everything else he brought to the match. That mid-air spear to Ueno looked BRUTAL. Yoshimura has a low-rent Big R Shimizu vibe, which I can always appreciate, but he really needs to lay in these chops properly because what the hell is this shit. ***1/2
HARASHIMA © vs. Masato Tanaka – KO-D Openweight Title
Much like with DDT in general, I’ve always had a hard time getting into HARASHIMA. He’s often seemed more like A Guy in Shiny Pants than a fully-fleshed out company ace. Thankfully, the pre-match package did a stellar job getting me invested in the man by exploring his Hayabusa fandom and contextualizing it within this big main event with actual-former FMW warrior Masato Tanaka. Thus, I found myself semi-rooting for the Harasheemster as Tanaka started aggressively destroying his knee to fill out the early portions of the match. The leg work didn’t have much long-term effect on the layout, but it did get the champ’s babyface juices going and set the table nicely for all the bigger spots.
2020 Tanaka inexplicably wrestles exactly like 1999 Tanaka, so this had all the Dangan Greatest Hits that YOU crave: rage-filled fighting spirit no-sells, ingenious table spots and face-crunching Sliding D’s from every possible angle (including a bonkers variant off the apron). It made for an action-packed title match that didn’t reinvent the wheel but didn’t waste anyone’s time either. Although HARASHIMA fought valiantly with his trusty Somato, this was clearly Tanaka’s match. I can’t quite comprehend how this battered 46 year old dude can still go at this speed and intensity, but I know I’ll have to check out this title reign. ****
