Mohammed Yone & Quiet Storm vs. Akitoshi Saito & Masao Inoue
NOAH have done it. They packed Korakuen Hall for Wrestle Kingdom Weekend and put together two stacked cards perfectly designed to introduce both newcomers and lapsed fans to the slick, rebranded and green mat-less version of the promotion. And what better way to get the youngins’ excited about the NOAH reboot than this match? That’s right. Welcome to Masao World, kids. Despite the New Japanification of the company and youth movement on top of the card, the formerly-green ring will still feature decrepit old bastards getting stiffed for your amusement and I 100% respect this decision. **
Seiya Morohashi & Hitoshi Kumano vs. Tadasuke & YO-HEY
I feel like I’m biologically engineered to dislike YO-HEY and his 2005 CZW high flyer esthetic, but sub-10 minute undercard matches like this tend to be an acceptable use of him and his RATTELS mall bros. Everyone out there was working the crowd like crazy, YO-HEY threw a couple of nice dropkicks before getting out of the way and I think Tadasuke did a Hulk Hogan ‘’YOU!’’ finger point parody spot at some point? I’ll take it. **1/2
Shuhei Taniguchi & Daisuke Harada vs. Hijo De Dr. Wagner Jr. & Hajime Ohara
This undercard is doing it for me, man. The sight of The Son of Dr. Wagner Jr throwing a bunch of armdrags and doing lucha libre shit lit a fire under all three other guys and next thing you know Harada and Ohara were having a post-T2P speed of sound counter clinic WHAT. Taniguchi did an admirable job just hanging with everyone and somehow fit in his beefy headbutt spots, but this really was all about Harada and Ohara ripping the place apart and working an astounding finish. FUN. Daisuke Harada please leave RATTELS and join any other faction with wrestlers I enjoy. Wrestling must only cater to my specific needs. Thanks. ***
Kenoh & Yoshiki Inamura vs. Hideki Suzuki & Kinya Okada
Fun character-based, storyline enhancement match. Kenoh no-selling Okada’s very EXISTENCE turned the youngster into a super babyface and got him tons of sympathy for the whole match. Kenoh/Suzuki feud = hugely promising. Kenoh trying to go shoot style but his temper getting the better of him causing him to get outwrestled = compelling story. **3/4
Naomichi Marufuji & Minoru Tanaka vs. Doug Williams & Chris Ridgeway
Seeing Doug Williams back in NOAH was undeniably cool, even if the match itself was only okay. Williams and Maru doing some half speed Lancashire wrestling bits was a fine enough re-introduction to Doug’s British leanings, but the real meat of the match was Tanaka/Ridgeway kicking the crap out of each other and going deep into the ankle lock-based tomfoolery. Never saw the Minoru SSP coming – marked out huge for that and his post-match Liger pose. Class act. **1/2
Katsuhiko Nakajima vs. Michael Elgin
Man, I have a lot of love for Katsuhiko but his turnbuckle photoshoot spot is starting to get SANADA Paradise Lock-levels of go away heat from me. Once per match is a wonderful character moment, four times is just trolling. This was very much a Mike Elgin match, as in it had a lot of big bombz and thigh slapping but struggled to do anything meaningful with both of these things save for a very fun ending sprint. It also had Big Mike slapping his own leg for his opponent’s strikes, which must be insulting as fuck for a guy like Nakajima who prides himself on his kicks. Katsu might not have been driven to put in the most compelling performance ever knowing he had to job to Big Mike and I wouldn’t exactly blame him. Ladies in the front row were popping big for Elgin’s strength spots, so that’s a win. ***1/4
Kotaro Suzuki & Atsushi Kotoge © vs. Haoh & Nioh – GHC Jr. Tag-Team Titles
Haoh and Nioh are the former Yuki Sato (of the Dick Togo wrasslin’ school) and Hi69 repackaged as Kongo junior henchmen – I’m digging the new look for both of ‘em. Match was a fairly straight-forward Get Your Shit In spotfest but the complete lack of struggle or fight over any move made for a flat layout. Plus, none of these guys have the biggest personalities so I was having some trouble connecting with the action, as inoffensive as it all was. **3/4
HAYATA © vs. Yoshinari Ogawa – GHC Jr. Heavyweight Title
The year is 2020 and OGAWA MAGIC is alive and well. What a performance from the one they call Ratboy, making me care for the usually-bland HAYATA and completely winning over this Korakuen crowd with his Dirtbag Bret Hart technical expertise. I had deep affection for the supremely well-told story of HAYATA initially outspeeding Ogawa only for this crafty cool uncle to take out his leg with LASER FOCUS after a missed pescado.
Leg work matches can be a tricky thing to pull off but this one reeled me in big time thanks to Ogawa’s imaginative leg attacks and HAYATA taking the time to sell the damage between his mysterious mall goth flips n’ kicks. Chef’s kiss for the really well-crafted rollup sequence that ended the match as it brilliantly paid off every subplot and finally put Ogawa over as the world’s smartest Rob Zombie fan. Never would’ve expected that one of NOAH’s big hooks for the new year would be GHC Jr. Heavyweight champion Yoshinari Ogawa but here we are. I want to see what comes next. OGAWA! ***3/4
Takashi Sugiura © vs. Masa Kitamiya – GHC National Title
You simply cannot go wrong with starting a match via a 5+ minute long shoulderblock battle so arduous that the participants come out of it looking like they’ve been chopped for 3 days straight. Few wrestling companies do Manly Professional Wrestling as well as NOAH and this was as manly as it gets. Big bumps (ouch @ that release German on the floor), big strikes (Sugiura’s forearm rush down in the corner looked more vicious than ever) and most importantly BIG SELLING, with both guys making the most out of everything.
Loved how they padded the early portions of the match with Kitamiya’s leg work, not only because I am a complete mark for the use of the Prison lock as a legitimate threat but also because Big Masa pulled a ton of clever spots focusing on the leg injury. Those kneebreaker slams on the apron and on the floor were gnarly as fuck as old man Sugiura sold it all like death.
By the time they were done with the limb work subplot, the match had escalated into a full-on slug-fest and you will have a hard time finding a more testosterone-filled ending stretch anywhere in wrestling (during the month of January). Full force forearms to the face, shoot headbutts, shoot punches, crippling Backdrops, top-rope Olympic slams – THE WHOLE SHOPPING LIST, baby. This really was a blast and NOAH having their own slug-fest title fills me with delight. ****1/4
Kaito Kiyomiya © vs. Go Shiozaki – GHC Heavyweight Title
The epic green-colored story of a pro-wrestler overcoming years of ’failed ace’’ stigma and finally reclaiming his rightful spot on top of the food chain by taking out the promotion’s brightest young star. Seriously, Go Shiozaki coming out with silver-ish hair and a beyond-badass ode to Misawa green tiger prince robe felt like as big of a moment as anything from the Wrassle Kingdom weekend. He might as well have walked out to Spartan X holding up a giant neon sign that read ‘’DADDY’S HOME’’ because this entrance had the same effect.
Last year’s Kaito megapush was an interesting experiment because while Kiyomiya did a good job in the champion role, his best years in the ring are clearly ahead of him. At 23, he still feels like an unfinished product – a super talented kid in the process of figuring shit out. That being said, this match worked around the Kaito Conundrum to near perfection, throwing all of Kiyomiya’s best assets against Shiozaki’s hardened veteran power aura to create not only a thrilling generational clash, but a true battle for the soul of NOAH.
As it’s often the case with big Shiozaki singles matches, everything here had purpose: from the snug chain wrestling opening, to Kaito trying to neutralize Go’s deadly chop/lariat arm only to get gradually overtaken by Shiozaki’s Kenta Kobashi-inherited BURNING STRENGHT. They built up all the big moments (that nasty flying armbraker in the guardrail, Kiyomiya’s wild 2nd-rope reverse DDT, Shiozaki’s Limit Break) like a couple of professional architects and filled everything in between with dramatic character bits that highlighted Kiyomiya’s youthful fighting spirit and Go’s killer ace energy.
Shiozaki no-selling a last resort headbutt from Kaito and absolutely destroying him with a Burning lariat was such a perfect snapshot of the story they were telling here. Kiyomiya came out of the ordeal looking better than ever, but this really was Go’s match. He’s one of the few NOAH-lineage wrestlers capable of projecting an aura of strength + nobility on par with the 90’s four pillars and he just feels 100% right as champion right now. Could not be more on board with this title reign. ****3/4
