‘Twas the week before Christmas, when all through the ring;
Not a creature was stirring, not even a Fiend;
The wrestling was booked by the promoter with care;
In hopes they’ll somehow watch until Mania next year.
RAW (12/16/19)
Ah, RAW is bad and boring again. Delusional Heel Seth Rollins was a much-needed character shift for that guy and NXT’s very talented Deonna Purrazzo got a cool showcase vs. Asuka, but otherwise… bad and boring. Also not sure why Triple H wasn’t at Deonna’s side ready to beat some ass.
Though 2019 has felt like a lot of time-killing, holiday season mean extra time-killing and that means a near hour-long Gauntlet Match to determine the U.S. Title #1 Contender which could’ve been really cool but wasn’t. Ricochet worked the bulk, like 45 minutes, and did some fun stuff here and there but it wasn’t the star-maker that would’ve been nice to see considering he was wrestling nearly a third of the show.
R-Truth‘s promo before it made me do that thing where you sniff air out of your nose. He and Akira Tozawa wrestled for about 90 seconds, then Ricochet clocked in. He and Tozawa put together a fun little 3 minutes of Dragon Gate action, getting the crowd briefly hyped for the Tozawa win tease. Ricochet vs. Matt Hardy was kind of neat if not very good, and the finish was bizarre with Ricochet’s 3-count being obvious to the viewer only for a few seconds of silence, Lawler wondering aloud if it was 3, and a replay. This felt like some kind of gaslighting to cover up for McMahon in the back not realizing it was 3 or something – WEIRD.
Humberto Carrillo, who scored two of the biggest wins of his career over Andrade, who has been so unsuccessful in WWE he’s in the midst of a breakup angle with his manager over being unsuccessful, entered next. I popped at Lawler dropping the “babyface” term for him, and though he’s a great flyer there’s definitely some questionable stuff going on in between all that. He and Ricochet did alright, but not as good as you’d think.
Then it just got sad. Andrade came out to face Humberto, but they re-ran the Jake Roberts/Ricky Steamboat SNME angle with a DDT on the concrete instead of the match and what struck me most was the absolutely blood-curdling silence from the crowd. U.S. Champ Rey Mysterio came out to help, only to get attacked by Seth Rollins and AOP and challenged by Rollins. So after 45 minutes of stuff, Rollins is just the challenger. But also the WWE website says Andrade won the Gauntlet Match. WHAT IS GOING ON
I’m into Rollins vs. Mysterio, just not sure why you’d do the U.S. Title #1 Contender gimmick beforehand. Why not make the Gauntlet Match to determine the #1 Contender to the Universal Title that’s never around? Then you run the non-finish and we can move on with clear eyes and full hearts.
Elsewhere, The Viking Raiders vs. The O.C. rematch we all wanted opened the show and went real long, like two commercial break long. It was way better than the Tag Titles match at TLC, actual evidence that these guys have all at some point been good wrestlers, but while I’m sure The O.C. are safe to work with and fun to drink with there is just not much going on in-ring with these two right now. It was very much a recent IWGP Tag Team Titles match, with some well-placed fun spots by the Raiders but no second gear.
The Erick Rowan gimmick is going nowhere, isn’t it?
Becky Lynch‘s Very Serious interview was real good. Came off like The Champ in all the best ways, and gave her character a hook saying the suits are protecting her because she brings in cash.
Randy Orton vs. AJ Styles worked a real safe leg-work type of wrestling match. Styles looked like a dummy at the end as he hopped on the ropes for a Phenomenal Forearm that was obviously going to be countered with the RKO, only to stumble down and springboard off the ropes again so he could leap into Randy’s waiting arms.
The Viking Raiders helped Orton out against The O.C. out but got overwhelmed and laid out to end the show. I just don’t know sometimes.
Rating: 3/10
NXT (12/18/19)
NXT was a loaded show with great wrestling matches and great wrestler showcases and a great wrestling moment at the end for a great sports entertainer.
It started with Adam Cole vs. Finn Balor for the NXT Title too, which spent a lot of time buildin’ and buildin’ with not much of note outside of Nigel and Mauro bizarrely going all in on a Jordan Peterson plug. Then they began to go home and these two can build to and deliver one insane fucking finish – and I say that F word because I want to convey to you just how insane it is! Lots of strikes out of nowhere and perfectly timed kickouts with the crowd losing their minds. Great call by Mauro too.
Then Johnny Gargano returned and ran-in for a disappointing but understandable finish. He beat up Finn Balor and I dunno, it was neat but not like the most exciting way of doing this.
Respect for giving Damian Priest vs. Killian Dain time and the clean Priest win, but all I can think of is the word meandering – I dig these two and there was the occasional wild big man bump but probably weakest part of a very quality show.
The Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic is back opposite Cody Rhodes’ show on Wednesday nights – ice cold.
It is awesome to see KUSHIDA just DOIN’ IT vs. Cameron Grimes, playing all the hits with the handspring kick and somersault plancha and Hoverboard Lock. NXT is my first exposure to Grimes too, and this match was very much the best showcase of what this guy is capable of. Seems like a lot.
Wild Pete Dunne vs. Travis Banks match appeared! I might start complaining about Dunne’s holding pattern in a couple months here – To Be Determined. In the meantime this rocked, Dunne just punishing Banks with one of the most fun movesets in wrestling in between Banks just kicking, kicking, kicking…
Rhea Ripley won the NXT UK Women’s Title from Shayna Baszler in a match that cemented a star – it’s fun to see the machine get behind someone, and Ripley is delivering. She got all the big moments in a very fun well laid out match, with Shayna wrecking the arm and Ripley getting all the big moments – last second kickout after chicanery, somersault off the apron into the baddies, somersault off the apron into nothing, grabbing the referee while in the sleeper hold and escaping the sleeper hold… also she won too. Shout out to Shayna Baszler, the glue that made it work, the most straight-up heel badass there is.
Rating: 10/10
MAIN EVENT (12/18/19)
A double taping for RAW meant Scott Stanford hosting a match-less Main Event this week, and probably next week.
Rating: 10/10
NXT UK 74 (12/19/19)
TakeOver: Blackpool TWO is on its’ way! There are feuds! And stories! And everything’s coming together quite nicely: the matches make sense, the roster is strong, and after 70+ hours of watching this crazy little show I am vaguely excited about it – I’m just not going to recommend you watch it.
Kenny Williams & Amir Jordan are just adorable! Lovable! They’re unlikely pals! And they had a fine babyface squash against he amusing Pretty Deadly.
Poor Trent Seven had to go out there in the middle of that ring and use a microphone to sell the Eddie Dennis feud no one really cares about or is even aware of, and the man did a fine job. He also sold the SHIT out of getting hit in the face with a microphone by Dennis – just outstanding physical work.
Still love Jinny‘s theme and the idea of Jinny, still waiting for Jinny to break out. She beat “French Hope” Amale in a match most notable for the fact that Amale calls herself French Hope.
Tyler Bate vs. Noam Dar was your feature match and it took some time to get a vibe going but they eventually roped the crowd into some incredible teases of Noam Dar actually beating Tyler Bate and before I knew it they had somehow caused 20 minutes to fly by. Jordan Devlin has got Bate at TakeOver – this will be good.
Rating: 5/10
SMACKDOWN (12/20/19)
This wasn’t bad, but it definitely wasn’t good. Just another slightly sleepy slightly creepy edition of SmackDown on FOX
Daniel Bryan cut a fine promo to open the show on Bray Wyatt before a bunch of people entered the equation and kept on talking. It setup Bryan & The Miz vs. King Corbin & Dolph Ziggler in the main event, and while Bryan and Miz as top babyfaces in Roman Reigns‘ absence is something I wholeheartedly support it made for a very holiday main event. Ziggler is once again swinging for the fences on this run, but this felt like the Rollins/Ambrose vs. Owens/Rusev tag or whatever they’d always run before the brand split just to get them to the next show.
A romance brewing between Otis and Mandy Rose was the only other real highlight from this show, and though I’m not positive this ends happily for Otis the close-up camera shots on his face after The Revival dropped his ham and then when Mandy hugged him provided better character beats than 12 weeks of AEW Dynamite.
Heavy Machinery faced The Revival in a Miracle on 34th Street Fight and these things usually end up more fun than you’d think, certainly way better than any dumb Halloween Street Fight. The Revival went all in on their bumps and Heavy Machinery are your ideal stupid fun babyface team.
This Women’s Division on Friday nights continued to struggle, with Sonya Deville vs. Carmella being 10 seconds of Deville offense before Carmella tapped her out and Bayley vs. Dana Brooke not exactly Flair vs. Morton. Sasha Banks got into it with Lacey Evans‘ fired up daughter and that was pretty cool, but Evans and Brooke as some babyface tandem battling Sasha and Bayley is a REACH.
The New Day minus Xavier Woods vs. Shinsuke Nakamura & Cesaro also happened. Big E vs. Nakamura and Cesaro vs. Kofi were both good pairings. That Big E block of the Kinshasa! That Kofi rana on Cesaro! I wish the Sami Zayn team feel like a crop of losers that they need you to believe are winners, but here we are. Shinsuke’s face when Braun Strowman challenged him cracked me up.
Rating: 3/10
205 LIVE (12/20/19)
205 Live will be a Best Of 2019 Show the next two weeks. Aiden English and Tom Phillips took us through the Top 3 matches for the first half of the year and it wasn’t a bad list: Buddy Murphy vs. Kalisto vs. Akira Tozawa vs. Hideo Itami for the Cruiserweight Title at the Royal Rumble, Buddy Murphy vs. Tony Nese for the Cruiserweight Title at WrestleMania, and Mike Kanellis vs. Akira Tozawa in a No DQ Match. They joined the Rumble match after the Itami elimination – awww.
If I’m booking this that’s probably the three I go with two, but some other highlights from the first half of 2019 included Brian Kendrick vs. Drew Gulak from 2/26, the Buddy/Nese Mania rematch from 4/9, and Cedric Alexander vs. Oney Lorcan from 4/16.
Rating: 5/10
WWE TV Match of the Week: Rhea Ripley vs. Shayna Baszler for the NXT Women’s Title
WWE TV MVP of the Week: Rhea Ripley
WWE TV Week in Review: NXT having a mini-TakeOver brought up an otherwise boring week of WWE TV.
