Performance Review
Evaluate Performance and achieved goals
A wise American President once said, “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming.”
Here’s the thing – I know it’s ridiculous that little old me is giving a performance review to you. When I do this though, I try not to come from the perspective of some wise wrestling veteran who knows the secret ingredient to making a big budget weekly wrestling TV show work in 2019. I am coming to you as your audience. The person watching what you are doing. The person that really really wants to have another viable American wrestling to sink their teeth into. And the person that, for the last few weeks, is getting bored.
I could use this space to talk about why this isn’t quite working for me, brother, but All Elite Wrestling after Week 12 has somehow stumbled into being the rare wrestling thing where there’s a consensus – outside of the base – that this kind of sucks, but also something us wrestling fans kind of adorably really want to work out.
The wrestling isn’t good, much less elite, and especially when combined with half-baked efforts at establishing anybody. Over the last couple decades pro wrestling, especially ol’ WWE, has shifted into this space where with rare exceptions matches stopped being dictated by getting a character over. The out-of-the-ring stuff was where folks got pushed, and the in-ring became an adrenaline rush of hold-trading and rope-running leading into dives and near falls and cool-ass moves. While some guys excelled at this, the majority of the individual in-ring matches began to feel empty – especially without a developed character beforehand.
AEW is weirdly continuing that trend… but also neglecting to develop the character beforehand. Everybody with the exception of Cody and Jericho seems motivated by either a ranking, getting to be on the TV, or obtaining power via cult. That’s making the show feel flat, and not a lot feels important. Everybody suddenly feels cooled off as they play along on this wacky wrestling show and it’s bumming me out.
Anyways – Happy Hannukah, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year’s, and all that. NOW GET OUT!!!
Discuss areas of excellence within performance
You’ve still got a star in Darby Allin and whether it was scheduling or intentional I appreciated the restraint in leaving MJF, Jon Moxley and Joey Janela off the show. In the middle of all these issues you could easily over-expose the fellas, and thankfully you did not.
Until given reason to otherwise, I really want Jungle Boy Jack Perry to succeed. Exciting young rassler.
Kris Statlander absolutely has something to her. Another exciting young rassler.
I won’t say the videos with Jungle Boy and the Young Bucks were amazing, but yeah – this stuff is helpful.
You’ve also got a lot of talent on this roster. I mean – my word. Make them stars.
Discuss areas of improvement
JR: This is really really good wrestling.
Tony: this is spectacular, Jim!
JR: This is SO good!
Tony: It’s so great!
Excalibur: HIGH ANGLE DISCUS ELBOW!!!!!
This commentary team is starting to get distracting, and it doesn’t help that it still sounds like it’s drowning out the crowd.
Starting this show with all four of Kenny Omega & Hangman Page vs. The Lucha Bros in the ring was an inspired choice, but what it led into was just horrifying: a quiet nothing match, Pentagon Jr. doing random taunts, Page and Omega doing double chop spots and showing dissension, Fenix flubbing a spot… this was an indictment of AEW Dynamite considering the buzz around these four last year. Tony and JR cracking jokes over the “Cero Miedo” stuff sure didn’t help – “He lives this stuff, Tony!” Stop it.
I’d say the wrestling can be better, but it seems like there are other issues to address.
Brandi Rhodes just casually referring to Kris Statlander as an alien in the middle of her promo – like “Well as you all know this lady is an alien…” – sure was dumb too.
Develop future goals with set expectations
This was a lame show with the midcard acts still undefined and the main event acts… also undefined.
Create characters, give them conflict. That’s literally it. Pro wrestling isn’t real.
Additional Feedback
Top Plays of the Week
3. Chris Jericho’s Promo: “In the meantime, in between time…” – the man looks tired but he can still get it done on the mic.
2. Darby’s Hot Tag: This and the shot of his skateboard in the back were very exciting.
1. Kris Statlander’s Cartwheel Thing: I dunno – it was something.
Dum Dum’s Got Something to Say
3. I’m going to have to bring the Questions section back. Where is Private Party? What is Kenny Omega’s gameplan? Why are they called the god damn CREEPERS? OF ALL THINGS
2. Lower the damn commentary volume. One more question: are 3-man booths necessary?
1. I like The Dark Order. Really, I do. The vignettes are cool as hell. The idea is sweet. The wrestling… not my favorite, but when did that ever matter? It’s a fine deal, it’s just bogged down by Brandi doing a similar gimmick and the dudes being called the CREEPERS. Also I think they did the big appearance and beatdown angle too soon.
Samsung Presents, The Labor Violations of the Week
3. The Young Bucks: The match was fine, but these two came off like annoying scumbags in their promo beforehand, lost the match quick and clean with little fanfare, and then they got beat up in a really dumb way. Not good.
2. The Dark Order Beats Everybody Up: An equally silly and depressing end to what was already a flat show.
1. Kenny Omega: Kenny Omega running through New Japan house show shtick on American TV did not make for a good time at the matches. Not sure what’s going on here.
Oh Yeah, The Wrestling
Kenny Omega & Hangman Adam Page vs. The Lucha Bros was a bummer of a match that did no participant any favors.
Darby Allin pops off the screen but The Butcher & The Blade aren’t hitting yet and his partner Cody is just milking that top babyface gimmick, taking a night off here and there because he CAN.
Jungle Boy lasting the 10 minutes with Chris Jericho was a cool deal for Jungle Boy but he was wrestling Chris Jericho the name and not Chris Jericho the functioning wrestler. Jericho hitching his tights up like Tenryu is incredible.
Awesome Kong squash – cool.
Britt Baker vs. Kris Statlander had some cool hold-trading and after a quiet start built it into a pretty good TV match. All the character issues
previously discussed kept it from breaking out just like all the other matches on this show, but it was alright.
The main event was SoCal Uncensored defending the AEW World Tag Team Title against The Young Bucks in a match where after some Real Fun High-Flying Action, the Bucks just lost clean in 10 minutes. Huh. I can appreciate Omega and The Bucks struggling for victories early on, but to be honest as they laid on the mat after the 3-count the Bucks looked like the scrawny jobbers everybody thought WWE would turn them into.
Official Star Rating
1.5 out of 5 Stars
