Performance Review
Evaluate Performance and achieved goals
Did you have a good Thanksgiving? Great. Your show wasn’t good.
It’s fine, I’m just saying. It’s 2019. Week-to-week TV is the deal. Gotta keep that wheel cranking.
Good/fun wrestling is fine, but give me some anchors baby. I feel like you’re settling into the Cody & Chris Jericho Show and then in the meantime you’re kind of pushing MJF and Hangman Adam Page as the future while Kenny Omega and The Young Bucks figure out what they want to do their lives. Not the worst line-up but I’m struggling to see where the payoffs are. Also, figure out your fucking women’s division.
Also – DDP is still over, huh?
Discuss areas of excellence within performance
The insanity of the Jericho Thanksgiving Celebrashon for Le Champion in Chicago, Illinois, was one of the finest starts to a wrestling show I’ve seen in years. They should’ve ran it the entire two hours. Chris Jericho the wrestler in 2019 in all his uber-protected glory is something special, and the banter was flowing like the bubbly. Sammy Guevera gifted him a cardboard cut-out of them hugging showing off their pearly whites (Quip?), Santana & Ortiz made him an honorary Puerto Rican with a box of… Puerto Rican stuff, Jake Hager brought out an actual GOAT (actually cut it with the animal shit), and TED IRVINE got a TV spot he should’ve gotten a decade ago complete with a New York Rangers jersey, poor command of the mic, and his emergence from a BOX.
It also led to one of my now personal favorite moments in pro wrestling, in which The Inner Circle harassed ring announcer and Chicago’s own Justin Roberts. He said he was from Arlington Heights, a large Chicago suburb that’s never mentioned in wrestling because in wrestling, every Chicago suburb is Chicago – unless you’re Lanny Poffo, then you can say you’re from Downers Grove in 1986 and no one will judge you. Roberts mentioned he went to Buffalo Grove High School, my actual high school, in which Jericho replied: BUFFALO GROVE HIGH SCHOOL SUCKS!
I died.
Cody beat the local Freelance Wrestling promoter with a figure-four in a few minutes and you’ve got to love that.
The Dark Order vignettes are great!
And the Dustin Rhodes line delivery game remains strong: “Jake Hager, you broke my arm.”
Discuss areas of improvement
AEW hasn’t quite mastered pull-apart brawl, have they? Solid try by Dustin and The Young Bucks against The Inner Circle but it was merely an angle in a sea of thousands.
But let’s get to the one thing I want to focus in on that really took a dump on this week, OK? Well, outside of the wrestling being just OK.
Honestly, it’s a few days later and plenty of guys have gotten over stinker debuts.
BUT – The Butcher & The Blade made their debut as a new tag team in AEW by attacking Cody but it all kind of sucked because the inevitable sonic boom that was always lurking when Excalibur and Jim Ross would be left alone with Marco Solis Martinez, a young man who by all means seems to be a swell pro wrestling fan but ultimately got to go on TV and commentate the wrestling matches as part of some State Farm ad buy.
The Butcher & The Blade tore out a rectangle from under the ring mat and emerged with Allie in a fancy mask, which Excalibur responded to with no-context delivery of “…THE BLADE!” while JR responded with a lowly “..who?”
And it just hurt, especially in the moment. Butcher & Blade’s look is epic – two big dudes, one all jacked up in a freaky S&M mask and one with a monocle and thinning hair who happens to be a powerhouse of ungodly pain. But they ended up coming off as a couple weirdos who hid on the floor.
I… uh… let’s get to your goals.
Develop future goals with set expectations
I’m going to give you a few points of criticism and a suggestion or two:
1) The Blade is a dumb name.
2) Saying the name “The Blade” does not give any context to the situation, it actually gives less.
3) Jim Ross not knowing who they are makes sense, but a JR on his game would’ve been pissed off about his confusion. Give me a “what the hell is this!?” over a god damn “…who?”
4) Appearances from under the ring are dead. End it.
5) Do better for these two.
Additional Feedback
Top Plays of the Week
3. Trent Wins Again: Slow but steady push, I see you.
2. Kris Statlander’s Moonsault: That was good.
1. “Buffalo Grove High School Sucks!”: Respect to Ted Irvine, respect to Chris Jericho. I might not agree, but respect nonetheless.
Dum Dum’s Got Something to Say
3. I’m glad they sold 10,000 bottles of Bubbly, but it was a 2 bottle minimum. Let’s just set that record straight.
2. It’s not that JR was supposed to know who The Blade was, it’s that Excalibur did. JR wasn’t horrified, angry… he was just mildly confused.
1. I’m not positive this is viable mainstream. Yeah. Whoa. Not like I’d say WWE is either at this point, or any stupid pro wrestling is, but two months into TV and as they figure out all their stuff this isn’t quite feeling like the genre-busting miracle it came packaged as. Maybe that’s too dramatic. Maybe I just got something to say! * motions with my hands *
Gillette Presents, The Worst Shaves of the Week
3. “Freddie Mercury never looked so Oriental… Asian… like a woman.”: God damnit, JR.
2. Under-the-ring appearances: Whether it’s The Fiend or Dark Order or Butcher & Blade… please stop. It’s dumb. Especially in 2019. Just turn off the lights and have them appear. Lights off, lights on. That’s it. Nobody is gonna be shocked because a couple weirdos waited on the floor.
1. “The Blade!” “Who?”: GOD DAMNIT, JR
Oh Yeah, The Wrestling
Lucha Bros vs. Best Friends was kind of your classic AEW TV match right now with all the FUN SHTUFF but little feeling. Trent getting ANOTHER win is very cool though.
A lot of the people I follow on Twitter seem to really really like Kris Statlander and I’ve got to say I might be following the right people. She appeared cold on TV and fit like a glove, and that moonsault was wild. Her tag with Hikaru Shida vs. Bea Priestley & Emi Sakura was alright, though Emi sitting in a chair to block Shida’s spot was my favorite spot outside of that moonsault. They got some time but let’s develop some stakes in this division already, my GOD. Bea being all “YEAH WOT IT” isn’t it.
Kenny Omega vs. PAC seriously actually happened on this show and it might’ve been my mood or something but it felt like these two took a lot of bumps and I was very bored by all of it. PAC’s counter of the Kitaro Crusher with a handspring front flip was amazing and I do appreciate Kenny winning a match with an ol’ rollup but the rubber match already feels like a chore.
MJF vs. Hangman Page also seriously actually happened on this show and it was very much five minutes of moves before Wardlow interfered and MJF somehow hit the ugliest looking Crossrhodes in history – no disrespect – for the win. Not cool when two possible anchors are doing whatever this was.
Chris Jericho defending the AEW World Title against Scorpio Sky also… yeah, happened on this show and it was very much a solid template heel champ vs. midcard babyface match that got the one incredible near fall for Scorpio Sky it needed but Jericho just cannot keep up with any of this. Sky held back, but it just felt off the entire time as they went for a certain match that needed to either slow down so it could breathe or speed up which Jericho can’t do so it ended up somewhere in the middle and there ya go.
Official Star Rating
2 out of 5 Stars
