Folks, I’m typing up this review on the Shinkansen bullet train from Tokyo to Osaka. It’s been a wild ride of a trip so far even though I lost many years of my lifespan in Roppongi. I’ve got two hours in front of me so why not write about the live professional wrestling I witnessed a few days ago.
Akira Francesco vs. Dan Tamura
Akira looks even more like a 12 year old in person and it is highly unsettling. That being said, the All Japan fans are into him and the potential is there for some junior division fun. This was very much a clash between Dan’s no non-sense young boy fury and Francesco’s super indie workrate leanings. One will knock you down with a good ol’ shoulderblock, the other will do Jackie Chan stunts around the turnbuckle and AEW-approved 619 variations. Weirdly enough, it all gelled into a solid opener between two feisty young lads. **1/2
Jun Akiyama, Osamu Nishimura, Ultimo Dragon vs. Takao Omori, Masanobu Fuchi & Black Menso-re
I kid you not, one of my top 5 highlights from this show was getting an up-close look at Osamu Nishimura’s European uppercuts. During a crowd brawling segment, he was bashing Omori about two meters away from me and let me tell you: these things look fucking vicious. Meanwhile, the Akiyama/Fuchi/Menso-re blood feud might be getting a bit stale on tape, but in person it’s still pure gold. **1/4
Zeus & Atsushi Maruyama vs. Dylan James & Joel Redman
Not sure how this’ll come across on Giant Baba’s streaming service, but this started with a bit of weirdness between Redman and Zeus, as the Z-Man had trouble following the intricacies of Gentleman Joel’s Johnny Saint tribute bullshit. Luckily, the match quickly pivoted to James chopping the living shit out of God’s favorite babyface in peril Atsushi Maruyama and it was GOOD. I’m pretty sure I have a ruptured eardrum from the sound of James’ monster chops. Humongous sidewalk slam into flying kneedrop finish was tremendous. **3/4
Yoshitatsu © vs. UTAMARO – GAORA TV Title
UTAMARO’s an indie scum grifter who hustled his way into a feud with Yoshitatsu by declaring he was MORE World Famous. That’s how you get it done, baby. Shockingly enough, this dude was getting massive crowd support from Korakuen so the Bullet Club Hunter made the very smart choice of working heel-ish, letting UTAMARO get all the shine from his babyface comebacks and vast array of 1994 Wrestle Yume Factory highspots. Poor guy almost Ganso Bombed himself while doing a simple Frankensteiner at some point, but other than that he did allright. Like the good sport that he is, Yoshi even gave him a bunch of flash roll-up near-falls before the finish and that shit brought the excitement. Pretty harmless fun. ***
Kento Miyahara, Yuma Aoyagi & Atsuki Aoyagi vs. Ryouji Sai, Naoya Nomura & Hokuto Omori
Kento is officially the world’s biggest attention whore and probably the most entertaining performer in wrestling. Having seen him live, I can now issue these two statements as undisputable, scientific facts. Even in a fairly throwaway 6-man like this, it’s legitimately remarkable how he seizes every little opportunity to work the crowd. Despite me being in awe at the champ, the real story here was Omori and Atsuki trying to murder each other and nearly succeeding. These boys sent the crowd into gasping horror with the stiffness of their forearms. Also, hugely appreciated Little Naoya’s asshole energy here towards Atsuki. Just a crazy fun match all around. ***1/4
Suwama, Shuji Kondo & Yusuke Okada vs. Shuji Ishikawa, Hikaru Sato & Akira Raijin
Couple of things to note here. Raijin has been showing up in All Japan once or twice a year mostly to fuck around as SUSHI, but in honor of Suwama’s debut anniversary, he worked this match in serious mode and it was pretty fascinating. He dished and took his fair share of punishment, taking up the sempai role against Okada and later on getting destroyed by Suwama. Nearly fell out of my seat near the end when Suwama clocked this dude with the stiffest lariat I have ever witnessed. The other big highlight was THE BATTLE OF THE SHUJIS – Kondo bringing the god damned fight to Giant Ishikawa and eventually getting him off his feet for a big slam was true poetry in motion. A whole lot of hard-hitting beefiness to celebrate Suwama’s career in fitting fashion. ***1/4
Jake Lee & Koji Iwamoto © vs. TAJIRI & KAI – All-Asia Tag-Team Titles
An expertly laid out tag team banger that made perfect use of TAJIRI’s special bag of tricks. I loved it, is what I’m saying. These two teams might all be drinking buddies, but TAJIRI and KAI went full heel for this match and put the Gentleman Shooter Jake Lee through hell. KAI brought back the ridiculously-brutal apron dragon screw from their Oudou tournament match to kickstart a full on leg attack. Between KAI’s Muto-ISM tributes and TAJIRI’s constant dickish leg kicks – the limb odyssey these boys went turned out to be a wild success. Jake sold like a pro and the story catapulted Iwamoto into one of his best roles: HOT TAG RECEIVER.
The guy’s explosive offense is tailor made for short bursts of offense designed to save your partner’s lanky ass. The whole place came unglued at the sheer amount of twists and turns during the finish. All the ref bumps and MIST-BASED SHOCKERS seemed to indicate TAJIRI put the whole thing together, yet it was all done in a super exciting way that never fell into overbooked GROAN-ZONE. Bonus points for Sweeper’s mist-covered victory promo – everyone around me was cracking up. One hell of a good time. ***3/4
