Well HERE WE GO, IT’S ANOTHER WRESTLING SHOW.
I’m not sure how I want to cover this. I’ll watch it. It’s inevitable. But what can I say about this that won’t already be said every Wednesday night or Thursday morning by every other website there is? How can I combat the incessant coverage of the WEDNESDAY NIGHT WARS!? What approach do I take when I want to enjoy the wrestling company with my left eye but be skeptical of the choices the wrestling company makes with my right? And how do I do that without being some annoying dirtbag?
Here’s what I’m going to do for now. I’ll talk about it like a pro wrestling fan, because Cody likes pro wrestling. But I’ll also talk about it like a sports fan, because Tony Khan likes sports. And I’m going to rate every match. Because match ratings were very important to the legend of Kenny Omega and The Young Bucks. But also my star rating system STARTS with five. And I’ll ask some rhetorical questions because I think I’m going to be left with a lot.
The Sports Show
Dum Dum’s Dandiest
3) Jake Hager – Somehow, some way, he ended up a part of this.
2) MJF – Any time this guy talks, I listen.
1) Riho – She’s the first AEW Women’s Champ and highlights the possibilities of this company. I think.
Axe Body Spray Presents, The Manliest Misses of the Week
3) Brandon Cutler – I dunno, man.
2) Kenny Omega vs. Jon Moxley – Is this a feud? For what reason?
1) The Tag Team Division – For a company that clearly has a stake in tag wrestling, the tournament and angles around the tournament for the tag team champions doesn’t have a winner yet.
Thing of the Week: The apparent Jericho/LAX/Guevera/Hager union was a trip, but Riho vs. Nyla Rose was the best thing this week.
Hot Take: The concept of hot takes is bad.
10 Questions
How pissed is Triple H?
How cool was it to see another wrestling company in a big-ass arena on TV?
Did Kota Ibushi make a bad decision?
Do The Librarians make TV in any other role other than pure squash bait?
Is Tony Schiavone the greatest professional wrestling commentator of all time?
Is everybody’s dad proud of them?
When am I gonna see that big slow-motion guy again?
When will someone send another Tweet about reminding everyone to embrace how cool the wrestling business is right now?
How does Joey Janela fit into all of this?
Is 10 questions too much?
The Wrestling Show
My initial thoughts after this first two hours (and that preview show which was decent) is that I’m still nowhere close to blown away like I was after Double or Nothing, but what they’ve got here is a solid format with a lot of exciting acts waiting to make an impact.
Honestly, my biggest takeaway? Tony Schiavone is incredible at his job. His ability to just seamlessly re-join a major league broadcast team and not just fit in but basically take over as the lead credible guy with stats in his back pocket was honestly awe-inspiring.
The wrestling was alright but second-nature, as TV wrestling usually should be. There was a solid opener, two “feature” 10+ minute matches, a squash, and a 6-man main event that was more angle than match.
Not exactly compelled by the angles right now. It’s a lot of: WE ARE WRESTLING SOON, SO WE SHOULD THROW HANDS. Right now that’s the extent of Omega/Moxley, Jericho/Cody, and most of the Tag Team Tournament.
Otherwise – PYRO. A COOL SET. A HUGE CROWD. COOL MATCH GRAPHICS. This is a big time production, major league business – a viable wrestling promotion if I’ve ever seen one. I also like that the ring bell isn’t so loud so it doesn’t annoy my wife.
It kicked off with a Cody video package, naturally. Cody vs. young hateable Sammy Guevera was a serviceable opener. Guevera does that thing where he’s real skinny so he thinks he has to do a bunch of stupid complicated moves to stand out when he should just be taking it easy and heeling it up. Cody looked confident, whether hitting a stalling front suplex or cutting Sammy off with a boot. I assume it’s because he’s a respected veteran wrestler now but it might also be because he is the face of a wrestling organization debuting on TNT. As serviceable as this opener was, the Disaster Kick and reverse superplex kickouts by Sammy didn’t do much for him and just extended the match. He’s a douche – what’s the use in making him a guy who’s got some fight in him right now? ********
Dug Brandon Cutler‘s casual WCW into, just a rando walking down the long well-lit ramp to generic rock music. I’m all for an MJF promo and squash, but this was a weaker part of the show. Cutler comes off as a more generic, less coordinated Christopher Daniels, and I’m not sure they did much for MJF. ******
Jay & Silent Bob showing up in the front row was a riot; the forced tag division angle with Jack Evans & Angelico and Private Party. Still no idea what Evans and Angelico are going for.
The SoCal Uncensored on-location promo from DC was solid, the SoCal Uncensored arena promo with Lucha Bros interruption was not. The brawl just felt desperate – just say you’re the best tag team and calm down, you know?
Hangman Page vs. PAC I liked – fast-paced and action-packed but restrained enough where they weren’t trying to go all balls out like PAC’s match with Kenny. There aren’t a lot like PAC who can be spectacular but still come off like such a bastard. There’s still work to do on Page, but a match like this shows he’s capable. The Black Arrow/Brutalizer combo was a spectacular finish too, even if the ref stoppage was a little fuzzy. ********1/2
Riho vs. Nyla Rose to determine the first AEW Women’s Champion was the show-stealer for me – great dynamic, good cut-offs, and just a tremendous underdog performance by the built-in babyface that is Riho. Rose’s plancha catch on the floor was insane too. There were a few parts that one might call a “little rough around the edges” but the match wasn’t really any worse for it – there was a frantic feel I appreciated. Riho all slumped over selling and trying in vain to fire back at Rose was some compelling stuff, as was the jackknife cradle. *********
RIHO is the first AEW Women’s Champ. Riho! I think that’s pretty cool! Michael Nakazawa as her translator was fun. Kenny Omega making the save for her when Rose attacked was… interesting.
Omega & The Young Bucks (THE! ELITE! THE THE! ELITE!) vs. Chris Jericho, Ortiz & Santana (uhh no idea) had, you know, some fun spots. There was some wild rapid-fire stuff from the tag guys and a minute or two in Jon Moxley appeared and brawled with Omega to the back. After Omega disappeared, it was a decent if not inspiring match. The Codebreaker counter of the Meltzer Driver was cool, and the Judas Effect takes another scalp. *******1/4
I will say that I was genuinely surprised that the first episode of All Elite Wrestling ended with Jericho, Santana, Ortiz, Guevera, and Jake Hager / Jack Swagger / MAGA Douchebag standing over Cody and Dustin Rhodes. But here we are?
Official Star Rating
2.75 out of 5 Stars
