“HEY! Slow it down! Make it OUR type of match, not their type of match.” – Bobby “The Brain” Heenan
For the first time, a Coliseum Home Video is highlighting TWO MEN AT ONCE!
Mean Gene Okerlund hosts from the WWF Control Center, while Gorilla Monsoon and occasionally Johnny Valiant provide soundbites for match introductions.
The WWF Formula had been in full effect for a while, but Dynamite Kid and Davey Boy Smith brought a new energy to said formula. Their variety of opponents of mid-80s was quality, just a bit repetitive, and so even though they were going balls out all of this combines to make some of the tape a bit repetitive. Quality, but repetitive. Weird.
1. The British Bulldogs vs. Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff w/ Freddie Blassie (MSG 10/21/85)
The Bulldogs are all jacked up and still hyped to be in the WWF, having joined full-time just a month prior. This is basic but very fun. Dynamite takes some heat, but also does a cool snap suplex and sunset flip. Nikolai lifts him up with ONE HAND by the throat, but eventually Davey Boy gets the hot tag and Dynamite missile dropkicks Davey’s back to counter a Nikolai slam setup and the Bulldogs get one of their first big wins. ***1/4
2. Dynamite Kid vs. Bret Hart (Baltimore 9/14/85)
This isn’t their first match in the WWF but it’s one of their early ones, and maybe the first televised. It rules, because why wouldn’t it? Gorilla thinks Dynamite and Bret have a similar style and “as we’ll soon see, an amazing and necessary capacity to absorb punishment.” Dynamite goes so hard early that it seems to legitimately shake Monsoon: “You know it’s funny when you come out to every match you have some sort of game plan – well, I think Dynamite blew that all to pieces in the first two or three minutes of this match.”
That kind of sums up this match, just two fellows providing a complexity and intensity that was completely unique to anything going on at this time. Tons of great wristlocking, rope-running, and full impact bumps. Dynamite at one point trips over a Bret drop-down and just goes face-first into the cable ropes, while Bret takes what might be his greatest chest-first bump into the turnbuckle. Insanity. ****
3. Davey Boy Smith vs. Jim Neidhart (Baltimore 9/14/85)
This and the last match take place at the Capital Centre, a real casual TV taping kind of place, so seeing the crowd so quiet for these newcomers is pretty interesting. The match is only around 5 minutes and the wrestling is solid but there’s like one highlight, where Neidhart goes down to a shoulder tackle then gets up and POINTS at Davey, like aww shit boy. The match ends when Davey simply runs into a snake eyes from Neidhart on the top turnbuckle. **1/2
4. The British Bulldogs & Captain Lou Albano vs. The Dream Team & “Luscious” Johnny Valiant (MSG 3/16/86)
This takes place just a couple weeks before WrestleMania 2, where the Bulldogs bested The Dream team for the WWF World Tag Team Championships. Valiant is rocking legit long wrestling tights with his flabby body exposed for all to see, while Albano wears his usual t-shirt and sweatpants. I can’t say this is the most compelling wrestling match but they stretch their time out doing fun wrestling stuff.
It’s mostly about Hammer. He works the first 5 or so minutes of this alone and is tremendous bumping for the Bulldogs. After a brief struggle, the Bulldogs hit a double dropkick and Dynamite rolls up the not-legal Beefcake for 3. Gorilla’s a bit hot and bothered about it. Either way, Valiant does a great wild dive at the finish. Also I SWEAR to you that someone yells “Suplex city, there it is!” somewhere in here. ***
5. WWF World Tag Team Title: The Dream Team [c] w/ “Luscious” Johnny Valiant vs. The British Bulldogs w/ Captain Lou Albano and Ozzy Osbourne
Whether I’m watching this at 5 years old or 31, I always love how excited Ozzy was to be here – it felt like he had been the Bulldogs’ manager for years. This is the only match on the card outside of the Cage Match that had any real time to breathe and given the talent involved it’s very good. The Bulldogs were top-tier offense guys in wrestling while Valentine was a top-tier defense guy. Beefcake was pretty good too.
These four didn’t really follow the tag formula, they just went hard with wrestling sequences. They were popping the folks with vertical suplexes and sunset flips and press slams, all delivered with gusto. The finish is a classic, with Davey sending Valentine colliding with Dynamite’s head and getting the win. HUGE pop, and post-match Ozzy is a treasure. ***1/2
The Bulldog Workout
Solid gold here, as Mean Gene Okerlund shows up in his tux to Diamond Gym where the Bulldogs casually explain their thought process behind doing curls and whatnot. For example: “What he’s trying to do is build his upper bicep so he has plenty of meat so the clothesline works.” Gene leads gym owner Shirley Kemper through a script about the Bulldogs, who she says work out there all the time but who she also seems to be unfamiliar with. Unremarkable, silly fun, outside of pervy Gene going after a poor girl in yoga pants. Also, Davey’s arms are SOOOOOOOOOO big.
6. WWF World Tag Team Title: The British Bulldogs [c] vs. The Moondogs (MSG 7/12/86)
It was 1986 and the WWF was NOT afraid to send the Moondogs out there for a 20-minute tag championship match, no they were not. This is clipped in spots but the work is SOLID, with occasional flashes of brilliance. The Bulldogs do Bulldogs stuff, while The Moondogs properly slow it down just enough before bumping around like maniacs. Dynamite does a top rope crossbody over Davey and Rex onto Spot for the win. Alfred’s deadpan of, “They really pulled that out of the bag because for a long time there they looked like losers” is INCREDIBLE. ***1/4
7. Davey Boy Smith vs. Greg Valentine w/ “Luscious” Johnny Valiant (MSG 4/22/86)
Just a good solid wrestling match, the one I warned you about at the top where things begin to get repetitive as they sure take their time but I can’t deny it didn’t work in the moment. Davey escaping the figure-four a bunch is fun stuff. The match also has Gorilla Monsoon and Ernie Ladd on commentary speculating about Clint Eastwood as Governor of California, thinking he could clean a lot of places up if given the chance. A straight-up forearm from the second rope wins it for Valentine. **
8. Dynamite Kid vs. Brutus Beefcake w/ “Luscious” Johnny Valiant (MSG 4/22/86)
Dynamite Kid is just ridiculous. Outside of Beefcake making surprised faces when he kicks out of stuff, this is all about the Kid: he just LAUNCHES himself whether he’s running the ropes or running into Beefcake, and MSG just flips out for the snap suplex and falling headbutt. He’s also able to reverse a suplex from the apron with a cradle for the win. Nice sleazy look on Valiant here too. **1/2
9. The British Bulldogs vs. King Kong Bundy & Big John Studd w/ Bobby Heenan (Poughkeepsie 4/21/86)
As soon as they won the tag championships, The Bulldogs had a mini-feud with Bundy and Studd that was mentioned here and there on TV but outside of this was mostly kept to house shows. Probably best that it was, as outside of a few neat double teams this match has the Bulldogs coming off as everyday TV jobbers. Dynamite helps Davey complete a sunset flip with a clothesline, and that’s nice, but the Bulldogs also deliver a double dropkick, double shoulderblock, and Davey crossbody in order to Bundy and he barely registers it. Then Davey just gets his ass kicked until the ref loses control and calls a DQ. And the Bulldogs’ Coliseum Home Video ends with Bundy and Studd pushing each other. **1/2
Again, could get repetitive, especially since in the initial run there wasn’t a big variety of opponents. Still, quality stuff. That Dynamite/Bret match, man. 7/10
