1. Rudy Diamond vs. Mr. X
Rudy’s from Boston, so he gets a little pop and the honors of opening the show opposite the masked Mr. X, who has told Mean Gene Okerlund (on commentary with Gorilla Monsoon) that a lot of people are moving to Parts Unknown these days. Rudy also wears no shoes. Mr. X complains a lot about his mask getting pulled, and a few camera shots close in on some gross bacne. He beats the hometown guy with a jumping clothesline. It’s serviceable in an 80s opener kind of way, but no other kind of way. *
2. Pedro Morales vs. Cowboy Bob Orton
By October 1986 their shtick still worked, but had lost a whole lot of luster. Orton yells a lot, takes some funny bumps. Pedro for his part takes a big bump into the corner. Orton reverses a Pedro sunset flip from the top rope and pulls the tights for 3 while Gorilla and Gene bury the referee. Stupid fun. **
3. WWF Intercontinental Title: Macho Man Randy Savage [c] vs. George “The Animal” Steele
Savage in 1986 was the truth, but he also made a long pit stop with George Steele and while the long game was fun the individual matches could be bummers. WWF advertised the Macho Man for this show and all anybody got was Savage’s entire theme playing, George acting confused, then Savage finally sprinting down the aisle and attacking Steele from behind leading to a three and a half minute brawl filled with a lot of t-shirt choking that ends in the bell ringing and general confusion before George is announced as being counted out. Post-match Savage tries to hit George with a foreign object, but George turns it on him and Savage gets busted wide open. *3/4
4. The Machines (Piper Machine, Super Machine & Big Machine) vs. King Kong Bundy, Big John Studd & Bobby Heenan)
The crowd seemed to like it, but this was pretty standard pro wrestling BS. Not necessarily a bad thing if you can embrace the insanity and occasional stretches of boring. You’ve got over-the-top dubbed-in Machines Godzilla music, big fellas colliding, Heenan running away, Piper playing with the obviousness of him being under the mask (reveals his face early to the crowd, then later takes it off and starts teeing off on the bad guys).
Piper pulls off a sunset flip on big Studd, experimenting with the new babyface wrestling spots he can do now that he has returned to the WWF as one. After a couple brief heat segments (one on Piper’s leg where Heenan tries to headbutt him, the other on whoever the smaller Machine is), Piper bodyslams Studd and pins him after Bundy drops an elbow on Studd by mistake. Dissension is in them ranks. **
5. The Islanders (Haku & Tama) vs. Jimmy Jack Funk & Mr. X
Mr. X pulls double duty, or maybe not. I don’t know – he’s Mr. X. His matches were maybe 45 minutes apart and I can’t say there are any distinguishable differences between either Mr. X but I can’t say there aren’t, either. The Islanders are a new act and figuring stuff out, doing lots of wristlocks and snapmares as they climb the ladder of mid-80s WWF babyface tag team stardom. Haku doing a basic babyface hot tag is great, but there’s not much here. I think Haku staring down Mr. X at the start was the best part. *1/2
6. Sika w/ The Wizard vs. Jerry Allen
Sika has RETURNED to the World Wrestling Federation, short an Afa but with The Wizard at his side. The Wizard, more commonly known as King Curtis Iaukea (and the dad of Prince Iaukea) has a gimmick where he thinks he’s the re-incarnation of former 70s WWF manager The Grand Wizard, who passed away just a few years ago. Seems weird. He’s babbling from ringside on commentary (That’s a position you held before you became a pretty boy, Monsoon!” “ALWAYS A PLEASURE TO SPEAK TO YOU MEAN GEENE!”) while Sika applies reverse chinlocks and clubs and chokes and wins with a crap falling headbutt. 1/2*
7. Tito Santana vs. Harley Race w/ Bobby Heenan
One of those matches that’s rock solid but not exactly a good time. It’s what we call deliberate, with a lot of Harley in control, but there’s also some great shtick here and there. Race gets knocked outside and tries to hold onto the ropes but ends up slowly sliding down the steps. Tito bangs Heenan’s head into the ring steps and Harley’s head. Tito punches Harley, who stumbles back and takes a swing into nothing. Harley hits a backdrop hold for 3, but Tito got his arm up at 2.5 so he wins the match. Gorilla and Gene think we’ll be talking about this one for a long time. I’m not sure about that. **3/4
Dirt awful show. The crowd liked Piper Machine but everything else stunk. Notable for first appearance on WWE Network of The Islanders as a team?? 1/10
