I took a day off from work and here’s what I did. I woke up, I said goodbye to my wife, I played around on my phone until my boy got up, I changed his diaper and made him a bottle, we went to Panera and ate breakfast then dropped books off at the library, I tested his patience with a trip to the cleaners, then I really tested his patience with a stop at the Redbox to grab Detective Pikachu. Redbox offered me another rental for 75 cents and I could not say no, so I got Long Shot. We went home and the boy and I threw a ball around and played with toys and I told him to stop hitting our dog several times.
Then the boy took a nap, and I took in Detective Pikachu, which had moments of pure joy but also a lot of bullshit where it had to tell a “story.” The boy woke up, and after a bottle and some lunch we played on our deck outside. Went down a kiddie slide, pulled him up on a lawn chair, walked in the grass, that kind of thing. Then we went outside and I watched The Souvenir as I shouted at the boy several times to not do what he was doing, though other times he was doing things that were just delightful.
Then the boy took another nap, and I thought about taking my own but instead I started watching an episode of Prime Time Wrestling, the one where Mick Foley is a jobber against The British Bulldogs. Then the wife got home and we engaged in conversation about her new job before the boy woke up again and we went out for dinner to celebrate what was, the day before, my birthday. We ate and then the boy ran outside on the AstroTurf and had a grand time before we headed home and put him to bed. Then the wife and I watched Long Shot, and she began to read a book before bed. And I began to write this.
RAW (8/19/19)
In my best Stefan voice, this show had it all: a Roman Reigns TV match, Seth and Braun’s friendship/feud heating up, two King of the Ring matches, Sasha Banks being shady, The Fiend laying out another legend, Rey Mysterio being coaxed out of retirement by his son, and a good old-fashioned gritty ass-kicking. I could’ve done without the forced King of the Ring references (where was the Bad News Barrett name drop!?), otherwise this was STACKED.
Dolph Ziggler, who somehow might be on the best run of his career right now, wrestled Roman Reigns to open the show in a match that had a couple hot near falls and a great spear out of nowhere as a finish. Dolph speaks on the mic like a guy lacking any sense of nerves after doing this for so long, cutting these hateable but funny promos, and is in a perfect spot to get the good guys over.
Braun Strowman and Seth Rollins being bros who are inevitable rivals over Seth’s Universal Title is a pretty boilerplate wrestling angle, but one that A) hasn’t been done in a while and B) a cliche they kind of nipped in the bud early by having Seth address it head-on. It’s not just us that knows they’re gonna scrap soon – they do too. I dig that. I also dig stories on wrestling TV that go across multiple segments, as this one did.
First up was Strowman vs. AJ Styles for the U.S. Title, which really seems like the kind of thing that should be a bigger deal than a random midcard title defense in the first hour of RAW, but here we are. They only went a few minutes, but in that time AJ took the wildest bump off a back body drop in that he basically took a gutbuster on Braun’s shoulder before he hit the ground, and Braun countered the Phenomenal Forearm with a massive fly swatter of a chop that was so good I made it the picture of this post. Then Gallows & Anderson ran-in and AJ Styles as WWE’s Tama Tonga is starting to feel a little weird.
Gallows & Anderson defended their RAW Tag Team Titles against Strowman & Rollins in the main event of the show too – HOW FUN IS THAT!! It kind of ruled too, another old-fashioned (I’m using that word a lot lately) kind of tag with Seth selling his taped ribs as he took a beating and also doing stupid stuff like the Blockbuster but also selling how much pain his ribs were in after said Blockbuster. Braun kept getting distracted by Styles until he just started doing a hot tag ON THE FLOOR before the actual big time hot tag which led to Strowman & Rollins actually winning the titles. It’s all a cliche indeed, but one that has me listening.
The King of the Ring kicked off this week, first in the form of a tag team match with next week’s Round 1 competitors. The Miz & Ricochet vs. Drew McIntyre & Baron Corbin was a tag that just gave me PTSD to McIntyre and Corbin’s trio with Lashley, though Corbin’s stupid tank top and Ricochet’s hot tag made for good TV. Booker T chatted over Skype about the King of the Ring too, and I don’t know – at least 2 weeks in, I think these Skype videos might be kinda good? Way more casual than the usual stuff.
Cesaro vs. Samoa Joe was the first proper KOTR match and it kind of ruled, providing some kind of what-if scenario if this was 10 years ago and they got a bunch of time on RAW. It’s a little slower and more careful but still rules – there were uppercuts, chops, boots, and a lariat that just bodied Cesaro. All of the strikes were so cool that a corkscrew springboard uppercut Cesaro did got no reaction. Cesaro lost Joe on a suplex like he was Goldberg in Saudi Arabia later on but won the entire WWE Universe back by immediately picking big Joe up and delivering it. Cool finish too with another springboard uppercut attempt caught with a Joe choke.
Cedric Alexander vs. Sami Zayn in the second KOTR match was a bummer though, as with a commercial it was around 5 minutes of stuff, and that stuff included them screwing up the Cedric backflip headscissors, and Zayn coming off as the most uninspired heel – I can’t tell if it’s the role or just him. Cedric getting a quick win is cool but damn.
Sasha Banks being back means the RAW women’s division is good again. Good Becky Lynch promo on Sasha, good Sasha beatdown of Natalya. The Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross vs. Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville match had some good bits to it too, with Mandy and Sonya busting out a few things that screamed out that they should be on TV a little bit more. Just no more backstage talky segments maybe. Did you see that Sonya Deville spinebuster!?
A few great angles too, outside of the Elias and R-Truth 24/7 Title stuff which was one of the weaker entries in the 24/7 series.
THE FIEND appeared again, with Jerry Lawler set to interview Sasha Banks before the lights went out, but being smart enough to try and escape the ring before he still got caught. As scary as The Fiend continues to be, Cole screaming for his buddy Lawler to watch out was hilarious.
Also, a great Rey Mysterio angle that could’ve been potentially huge if done live in the arena, where he teased retirement before being persuaded to stay by his son so they could team together. I imagine Dominick Mysterio was deemed not ready for a live in-ring promo, but for his fourth or fifth spot on TV where he awkwardly loomed over his tiny father I think he did alright.
ALSO, an even better angle with Randy Orton & The Revival maybe kind of sort of becoming a unit. I thought that about Shane and McIntyre and The Revival too a couple months back though and that went nowhere, so we’ll see. The New Day vs. The Revival classic isn’t going to happen on RAW, but they had a fine match before a legitimate bonafide RKO Outta Nowhere from Orton on Big E followed by a phenomenal ass-beating that included a Shatter Machine setup into the RKO and a downed Kofi’s face being held up as Revival tried to break Woods’ ankle. This was some Four Horsemen shit, man.
SMACKDOWN (8/20/19)
Another low key well laid out wrestling TV show with a PLOT lurking around in the search for Roman Reigns’ attacker plus a strong follow-up to the New Day vs. Orton & Revival stuff, another pair of King of the Ring Round 1 matches, a great Daniel Bryan vs. Buddy Murphy match, and an intriguing alliance formed.
I am getting The Club vs. The Bloodline vibes from this Orton/Revival vs. New Day stuff, a 6-man feud where everything is clicking and multiple guys are being put in a good spot they otherwise might not be in. Plus it’s revitalizing all interest in Randy Orton. Good follow-up here to RAW’s great angle, with Kofi Kingston himself getting the better of the bad guys.
Working Man Kevin Owens being distressed over a $100,000 fine was a solid idea for an angle. Working Man Kevin Owens walking with his tail between his legs to Shane McMahon, apologizing, and pleading with him to revoke it though sure is one of the odder Stone Cold pushes I’ve seen attempted.
Are there children out there who think Andrade‘s last name is Vega? He and Apollo Crews had Tuesday night’s first King of the Ring match and had themselves what was pretty casually a very good match, getting around 10 minutes of TV time and packing in all their good shit.
Lots of promos on this show. A Moment of Bliss with Charlotte Flair and eventually Bayley was not very good. Roman Reigns having words with Buddy Murphy was tolerable. Daniel Bryan‘s promo before his match with Buddy Murphy was very good.
Is Rowan now Erick again?
The Bryan/Murphy match ruled – Bryan has been as good as he’s ever been since he returned (especially since the heel turn), he just doesn’t always get a chance to show it. Here he had a blank slate of an athletic gem of a wrestler who’s preferred method of attack is a knee thing, and they got it DONE. Bryan was smacking and biting and stretching Buddy in such away that got Buddy organically over with the live crowd, though he did that stupid tope where he overshoots his target which not only makes both guys look stupid but also hurts him more in the process. Of course Bryan took the clean pin, this god damn professional.
The Revival vs. Heavy Machinery was 5 minutes of WCW Saturday Night TV wrestling, much appreciated.
Wasn’t expecting to dig Sami Zayn and Shinsuke Nakamura forming a team by crashing MizTV as much as I did. Zayn as a fundamentally evil social activist Bray Wyatt could be interesting.
Owens vs. Elias in the second KOTR match was a real basic kind of thing but the kind of basic thing that’s done by two acts who are over so it’s kind of OK how basic it was, even if it will fade from memory soooooo soooon….
It was followed by one of the strangest, silliest cliffhanger endings I think WWE has ever ran, with Bryan revealing that Roman’s attacker and the man that was being shown under a cloak all night is…. a random guy who looks like Erick Rowan. And then everybody stared at each other awkwardly. I mean cmon guys ah jeez what an awkward stupid kind of ending jeeez.
205 LIVE (8/20/19)
This was just one 40-minute match in the form of a 5-on-5 Captain’s Challenge Match with Drew Gulak leading a team that every time I think about it, I have to look it up: Tony Nese, Ariya Daivari, Angel Garza and Mike Kanellis opposite Oney Lorcan, Akira Tozawa, Jack Gallagher, Humberto Carrillo, Isaiah “Swerve” Scott.
It was a more interesting version of the usual 205 Live television show, and it began with Gallagher leading an UMBRELLA BOMBING so I really have to be pro this match in some kind of fashion. There were a lot of really great pairings over 40 minutes of mediocre wrestling action: Carrillo vs. Garza, Swerve vs. Nese, Swerve vs. Garza. All three of these guys had standout performances, while Oney did his thing here and there and Daivari lasted incredibly long for some reason. Great Humberto/Garza finish too. Quite a bit of faith in Garza to have him going 40 in his first live TV match, no?
NXT UK 57 (8/21/19)
Next week is the go-home show for TakeOver: Cardiff and I cannot say I am very excited for it.
Fabian Aichner & Marcel Barthel vs. The Hunt and James Drake vs. Mark Andrews were a pair of matches on this show that were on the fringe of being good if they weren’t on this very quiet brand. It was all very formula, but there was good solid work around that formula that showed a potential were this whole experiment to ever get there.
Travis Banks vs. Noam Dar has been booked for TakeOver: Cardiff NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Kay Lee Ray wrestled Shax on this show. Shax? Her name is just SHAX? Kay Lee seems to have skills but this was a weak squash match for an act that needs more of a boost headed into Cardiff, and the PERSONAL~! stuff with Toni Storm afterwards doesn’t seem to be it.
Oliver Carter is Jamaican and he is debuting next week, while Jordan Devlin is very pissed off that he is not on TakeOver: Cardiff.
The show closed with a fun angle featuring the only thing really carrying this brand, the Moustache Mountain vs. Imperium stuff. Aichner and Barthel were laid out by a mystery man earlier in the show, and Trent Seven emerged from the crowd after Andrews/Drake to reveal himself as said man. WALTER and Alexander Wolfe took the bait, entering to confront Seven and being attacked from behind by Tyler Bate who ended up hitting a massive Tyler Driver on WALTER. I think they needed that visual. Anything’s possible now. Anything… on NXT UK.
NXT (8/21/19)
NXT is post-TakeOver: Toronto and headed into TakeOver: Chicago but more importantly a show that will have one more hour and air weekly on the USA Network. Oh my GOD. ARE THEY READY??
Judging from this show, maybe? NXT TV for a long time has just been solid. They hit all the right beats, though not a ton of it really clicks until the actual TakeOver events. I love having such an easily digestible one-hour wrestling show though that takes its’ time with stuff. Guys disappear for a couple weeks, then they get a video package, then they do a match. Nobody is over-exposed. But it also feels like a brand treading water with a weak main event scene and a maybe more confusing midcard scene which feels like it should really be the main event scene. There’s too many talented guys doing nothing too. I dunno. I’ll say I don’t want another hour but I’ll watch it.
Lots of perfectly OK stuff on this show, beyond the Keith Lee/Dominik Dijakovic hype video for next week that felt like it suddenly got both guys back on track. They should have the rubber match kick off NXT on USA.
The Undisputed Era bitching about not winning titles and Jordan Myles challenging Adam Cole was fun but Myles isn’t that over just yet. Damian Priest vs. Mansoor was an excellent showcase for both guys, but big badass Priest taking that slingshot neckbreaker was a little questionable. Mia Yim vs. Vanessa Borne has quickly faded from memory outside of Borne’s bump on the Eat Defeat, and was followed with a vaguely interesting angle where Shayna Baszler suggested Yim join her group, a suggestion Yim rejected before getting attacked. Bronson Reed vs. Shane Thorne was… well, I didn’t buy Thorne’s running knee strike beating Reed I will tell you that much.
Matt Riddle vs. Killian Dain was very good, mostly because of Dain having a tremendous re-debut with a sweet new intro and clean win over Riddle. Otherwise it was kind of exactly what it should’ve been, with Riddle working around this big ass motherfucker Killian Dain. They rolled around, hit each other hard, and Riddle fired off some wild strength spots including a deadlift German suplex.
MAIN EVENT (8/21/19)
Dana Brooke vs. Sarah Logan Part 6 (low estimate) was a match with two rasslers who know how to have a 5-minute match together by now.
Lucha House Party vs. Robert Roode & Eric Young was a match where there was some truly uncomfortable silence as Eric Young worked over Lince, though he did go all in off the handspring Stunner bump.
WWE TV Match of the Week: Daniel Bryan vs. Buddy Murphy from SmackDown
WWE TV MVP of the Week: The Revival
A good week of TV, as we head into a different TV landscape very soon.
RAW: 9/10
SmackDown: 8/10
205 Live: 6/10
NXT UK: 5/10
NXT: 5/10
