Jun Akiyama & Eisa8 vs. Takao Omori & Dan Tamura
Man, AJPW really have to do something with the Osaka Edion Hall lighting. This place has such a dull, grey vibe that these shows come off like pro-wrestling in an office building. Here’s Takao Omori, ready to kick some ass after a long day of photocopies and data entry. Eisa8 is a dollar store Great Sasuke knockoff that somehow hustled his way into an All Japan opening match and I have nothing but respect for this man. The highlight here was Dan The Man bringing the fight to grumpy Akiyama and dying a swift death. **1/4
Jake Lee, Naoya Nomura & Ryouji Sai vs. Joe Doering, Dylan James & The Bodyguard
Now that Nomura and Jake are friends again, SKY’S THE LIMIT, baby. I was real happy to see BODYGAH back in action in the blessed Zen Nihon ring, even though he seemed a little off and had miscommunication issues left and right. Whatever, the man is always a welcome presence on my computer screen. Dylan James chopping the living hell out of youngsters was a great time, but I have to question the logic of him dropping so many falls these days. Is Bodyguard such a made man in Osaka that he couldn’t lose to Lil Naoya? So many questions. **1/2
Suwama, Shuji Ishikawa & Shoichi Uchida vs. Yoshitatsu, Hideki Shrek Sekine & Yuma Aoyagi
Someone’s about to get SHREKED. I’m liking this bleach job on Big Shuj Knight. I have no idea where Uchida comes from but he did the step-out-on-the-apron-to-avoid-corner-charge spot that all indie guys do now (also: BUSHI) so I will assume he is indie scum. There was a fun running gag here with Suwama coming out with a TEAM KYOHEI t-shirt and instantly earning favoritism from old man Wada. There was also WRESTLING. **1/4
Koji Iwamoto, Keiichi Sato, Tsutomu Osugi & Banana Senga vs. Black Menso-re, Akira Francesco, Atsushi Maruyama & Hokuto Omori
It’s junior tag battle season so all of your favorite D-Level light heavyweight gladiators are here to have a lot of okay but not exactly memorable wrestling. REJOICE. I was all set to dunk on Akira for looking like the 16 year old cashier at your local supermarket, but he might’ve been the most fired up from this crew and the quiet Osaka crowd actually popped for his high spots. I quite liked Iwamoto stepping in after a bit of indie flip-flop non-sense from the other guys and just destroying someone with his judo throw and lariat. **1/2
Hikaru Sato & Yusuke Okada vs. Kagetora & Yusuke Santa Maria – Junior Tag Battle of Glory (Finals)
There’s an element of gay panic to the Santa Maria character that really makes one question his own level of wokeness. Thankfuly, this was fairly light on the smooching comedy and very high on the awesome professional wrestling. Kagetora is the best kept secret in Pure-O-Resew and watching him do his thing with a fired up Hikaru Sato was a blast. The clash between his high-speed-yet-practical Dragon Gate-ISM and Sato’s hard kicks/shoot takedowns was straight-up riveting.
I really wish Okada would drop the running headbutt-based offense because it all feels a little flat and he clearly has the potential to be so much more than Tomoaki Honma 2.0. He played a great babyface in peril here, eating all of Kagetora’s hardest shots to set up a great hot tag run from Sato. The payoff to his ‘’will they won’t they’’ romance subplot with Maria got an insane reaction too. Big-time near-falls and an epic cross armbreaker struggle to cap it off. Awesome match! ***3/4
Kento Miyahara © vs. Zeus – Triple Crown
These two had the ridiculously tough task of pulling off a Triple Crown main event banger worthy of Kento’s MVP title reign in scorching heat with an apathetic Osaka crowd and my god, they did it. Despite going 30+ minutes, they filled the time well and I felt invested from A to Z(eus), inconsistent crowd and all.
At this point, there’s no doubt that Zeus is one of Kento’s very best opponents. He is the one guy on the roster that simply will not take any of the champion’s bullshit. For every heelish transgression or misplaced display of cockiness, there will be violent retribution. And it’s a beautiful thing, especially considering how obnoxious Miyahara is these days. Case in point: Zeus basically SHOOTING ON KENTO with hardway forearms for refusing to let go of a submission despite the rope break. The chef’s kiss was invented for shit like this.
Now, Kento might be a complete asshole, but he won’t go down easily. That was the whole match in a nutshell: an all-out All Japan bombs-fest that felt like an actual FIGHT between two guys that managed to convince me they actually hate each other. All the apron spots and crazy false finishes were great, but stuff like Kento summoning his ACE SPIRIT to no-sell a fucking onslaught of BRUTAL AXE HANDLES TO THE BACK from Zeus and get right in the man’s face was what made this match for me.
I also liked the new wrinkles they added to their usual finishing stretch war of attrition: Zeus countering one of Kento’s German suplexes into a rolling ankle lock to set up Kento selling his leg like death after getting his knees up for the Zeus Frog Splash was particularly inspired. Then there was stuff like a ZEUS NO-TOUCH PLANCHA and a fucking full-on GUH PUNCH to the face from Zeus after he absorbed a Blackout. Yeah, this match ruled. ****1/2
