Captain Lou’s Review: NJPW G1 Climax Day 18 (8/11/2019)

Jeff Cobb vs. Toru Yano– G1 Climax (Block B)

The singlet-trap rollup was an incredible spot in this fine Toru Yano match that got more than few giggles out of yours truly. Yano hiding dozens of rolls of tapes inside his trunks was very LOL-worthy, as was Cobb’s YTR pose before the standing Moonsault. **1/2

Tomohiro Ishii vs. Taichi – G1 Climax (Block B)

Jesus H. Fucking Toshiaki Kawada on a stick, what pure rush of Puro-O-Resew markout craziness this was. The Kawada/Tenryu parallels were once again brought up by the commentators due to both guys’ backgrounds, but to me this felt a lot more akin to Kawada/Kensuke. 11 minutes of non-stop nuclear bomb-throwing and fighting spirit power-ups that brought me all the way back to the VHS glory days of early 2000’s Pure-O. The purest O.

It blows my mind that Taichi saved this performance for the very last day of the tournament. Outside of that dope match with Shingo, he kept a mostly low profile throughout the G1 and kinda made me doubt my once-firm stance as a Holy Emperor Defender. But here he was fully unleashed and all of the best moments of this King’s Road On Crack barnburner came from him.

The Axe Bomber and Dangerous Backdrop at the bell! A fun heel control segment with bitchy soccer kicks! Ganmengiri’s outta nowhere’ all over the place! I fell out of my chair and broke every bone in my body when Taichi no-sold the Ishii enzuigiri and completely plastered him with the deadliest superkick of all time to set up THE BLACKEST MEPHISTO you’ve ever seen.

Wild ride of a wrestling match that doubled as a direct middle finger to the Taichi Haters and made me get right back on the Dangerous T bandgwagon. Too much fun. ****1/4

Jon Moxley vs. Juice Robinson – G1 Climax (Block B)

A professional wrestling match with a lot of big ideas: some very good (Good Guy Juice as the ultimate babyface role model refusing to use tables and chairs, the EARRING REMOVAL BITING SEGMENT) and some more questionable (wrestlers somehow thinking they’ve won a match without hearing any audible bell sound might be my least favorite trope). It didn’t touch their Dominion banger and I’m sure they have something even better planned for the feud blowoff, but there was still plenty to like about this intermediary Mox/Juice match.

I mean, the crowd alternating between ‘’JUICE!’’ and ‘’MOX’’ calls for the big punch duel is worth at least one full star and that’s not debatable. These guys just have great chemistry, man. Mox brings the fire out of Juice and Juice brings the wrestler out of Mox. Loved the whole ‘’MOX IS READY FOR BLOODSPORT’’ bit where Shoot Fighter Mox rolled through the Pulp Friction right into an ankle lock, which he then shifted into a VICIOUS STF like we had just time-warped into 2001 Kazuyuki Fujita-dominated NJPW or some shit. You want MANY PARTS of this. ***3/4

Hirooki Goto vs. Shingo Takagi – G1 Climax (Block B)

Shingo’s Vertical suplex might be the best move in wrestling right now. A fucking Vertical suplex. That’s Takagi in a nutshell: every single thing he does is executed with the utmost conviction and believability, like a real champion. This started out as a Solid Wrestling Match with a few too many rest holds from Goto but gradually turned into a fucking war and I had a great time. It was as much about the big picture heavyweight slug-fest moments as the more subtle little wrestling details, like Shingo selling his neck for the entire freaking match after taking that top-turnbuckle neckbreaker.

Large quantities of beef were served and both guys came out of this looking like a million bucks: Goto for taking the fight to one of the hottest new prospects in the company, Shingo for picking up another heavyweight scalp on his way to eventual NEVER openweight domination. Both of these guys know to a thing or two about lariats and headbutts to the god damned chest and they will let you know about it. Favorite moment: Goto setting himself up for the Praying Bushido Kick of Ancestral Fury only to get absolutely DECAPITATED by a Shingo lariat. Rad as hell. ****

Tetsuya Naito vs. Jay White – G1 Climax (Block B)

Oh boy. This had the potential to be something pretty special: the most popular wrestler on the roster against the most hated man in Japan. I’m not exaggerating: Switchbeard Jay White 100% came off as the biggest heel in the country when he walked out for this match – these people wanted him dead. But him and Naito never fully capitalized on the insane Budokan heat of the entrances and ended up having a VERY NORMAL NJPW main event match. With the NJPW Reversal Dance and everything. Truly puzzling stuff. It wasn’t enough to sell Jay as the guy that should be eliminating Naito from this tournament and it felt even more flat as a G1 block final. Not enough hatred, not enough drama, not enough emotion. Outside of the bad reverse Frankensteiner botch, everything was technically-sound and they pulled some fun counters, but I kept feeling like this was all a huge missed opportunity. ***1/4

Captain Lou’s G1 Climax 29 Match Rankings

1. Tetsuya Naito vs. Shingo Takagi (Block B) – ****3/4, 8/4/19
2. Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Kota Ibushi (Block A) – ****1/2, 8/3/19
3. Kazuchika Okada vs. Will Ospreay (Block A) – ****1/2, 7/20/19
4. Tomohiro Ishii vs. Shingo Takagi (Block B) – ****1/2, 8/8/19
5. Kazuchika Okada vs. Kota Ibushi (Block A) – ****1/2, 8/10/19
6. Kota Ibushi vs. Will Ospreay (Block A) – ****1/2, 7/18/19
7. Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Will Ospreay (Block A) – ****1/2, 8/10/19
8. Tomohiro Ishii vs. Jon Moxley (Block B) – ****1/2, 7/19/19
9. Tetsuya Naito vs. Tomohiro Ishii (Block B) – ****1/4, 7/24/19
10. Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. KENTA (Block A) – ****1/4, 7/14/19
11. Kazuchika Okada vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi (Block A) – ****1/4, 7/6/19
12. EVIL vs. Will Ospreay (Block A) – ****1/4
13. Hirooki Goto vs. Tomohiro Ishii (Block B) – ****1/4, 8/1/19
14. Tomohiro Ishii vs. Taichi (Block B) – ****1/4, 8/11/19
15. Kazuchika Okada vs. SANADA (Block A) – ****1/4, 8/3/19
16. Tetsuya Naito vs. Jon Moxley (Block A) – ****1/4, 7/28/19
17. Tomohiro Ishii vs. Juice Robinson (Block B) – ****1/4, 7/28/19
18. Juice Robinson vs. Shingo Takagi (Block B) – ****, 7/13/19
19. Kota Ibushi vs. Lance Archer (Block A) – ****, 7/27/19
20. Tomohiro Ishii vs. Jay White (Block B) – ****, 7/15/19
21. Juice Robinson vs. Jay White (Block B) – ****, 8/8/19
22. Will Ospreay vs. KENTA (Block A) – ****, 8/7/19
23. Kota Ibushi vs. EVIL (Block A) – ****, 7/13/19
24. SANADA vs. Zack Sabre Jr. (Block A) – ****, 7/6/19
25. Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Lance Archer (Block A) – ****, 7/20/19
26. Kazuchika Okada vs. KENTA (Block A) – ****, 7/27/19
27. Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. EVIL (Block A) – ****, 7/30/19
28. Shingo Takagi vs. Hirooki Goto (Block A) – ****, 8/8/19
29. Kota Ibushi vs. Zack Sabre Jr (Block A) – ****, 8/7/19
30. Shingo Takagi vs. Jay White (Block B) – ****, 7/28/19
31. Will Ospreay vs. Lance Archer (Block A) – ***3/4, 7/6/19
32. Jon Moxley vs. Shingo Takagi (Block B) – ***3/4, 7/24/19
33. Kazuchika Okada vs. EVIL (Block A) – ***3/4, 8/7/19
34. Kazuchika Okada vs. Zack Sabre Jr. (Block A) – ***3/4, 7/13/19
35. Shingo Takagi vs. Taichi (Block B) – ***3/4, 7/19/19
36. Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Zack Sabre Jr. (Block A) – ***3/4, 7/18/19
37. Will Ospreay vs. Zack Sabre Jr. (Block A) – ***3/4, 7/30/19
38. Jon Moxley vs. Juice Robinson (Block A) – ***3/4, 8/8/19
39. Tetsuya Naito vs. Hirooki Goto (Block B) – ***3/4, 7/19/19
40. EVIL vs. Zack Sabre Jr. (Block B) – ***3/4, 7/27/19
41. Jon Moxley vs. Jay White (Block B) – ***3/4, 8/3/19
42. KENTA vs. Zack Sabre Jr. (Block B) – ***3/4, 8/10/19
43. Zack Sabre Jr. vs Lance Archer (Block B) – ***1/2, 8/3/19
44. Jeff Cobb vs. Shingo Takagi (Block B) – ***1/2, 8/1/19
45. EVIL vs. SANADA (Block A) – ***1/2, 7/18/19
46. Jeff Cobb vs. Taichi (Block B) – ***1/2, 7/28/19
47. Jon Moxley vs. Taichi (Block B) – ***1/2, 7/13/19
48. Will Ospreay vs. SANADA (Block A) – ***1/2, 7/13/19
49. Kota Ibushi vs. SANADA (Block A) – ***1/2, 7/20/19
50. KENTA vs. EVIL (Block A) – ***1/2, 7/20/19
51. Kazuchika Okada vs. Lance Archer – ***1/2, 7/30/19
52. Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. SANADA (Block A) – ***1/2, 7/27/19
53. Tetsuya Naito vs. Taichi (Block B) – ***1/2, 7/15/19
54. Juice Robinson vs. Hirooki Goto (Block B) – ***1/2, 7/15/19
55. Hirooki Goto vs. Jay White (Block B) – ***1/2, 7/13/19
56. Kota Ibushi vs. KENTA (Block A) – ***1/2, 7/6/19
57. EVIL vs. Lance Archer (Block A) – ***1/2, 8/8/19
58. Hirooki Goto vs. Jeff Cobb (Block B) – ***1/4, 8/4/19
59. Hirooki Goto vs. Taichi (Block B) – ***1/4, 7/24/19
60. Tetsuya Naito vs. Jeff Cobb (Block B) – ***1/4, 8/8/19
61. Tetsuya Naito vs. Toru Yano (Block A) – ***1/4, 7/13/19
62. SANADA vs. Lance Archer (Block A) – ***1/4, 8/7/19
63. Hirooki Goto vs. Jon Moxley (Block A) – ***1/4, 8/8/19
64. Tomohiro Ishii vs. Toru Yano (Block A) – ***1/4, 8/4/19
65. Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Bad Luck Fale (Block A) – ***1/4, 8/7/19
66. Tomohiro Ishii vs. Jeff Cobb (Block A) – ***1/4, 7/13/19
67. Tetsuya Naito vs. Juice Robinson (Block A) – ***1/4, 8/1/19
68. Tetsuya Naito vs. Jay White (Block A) – ***1/4, 8/11/19
69. EVIL vs. Bad Luck Fale (Block A) – ***, 7/6/19
70. Juice Robinson vs. Toru Yano (Block B) – ***, 7/24/19
71. Toru Yano vs. Jon Moxley (Block B) – ***, 8/1/19
72. Toru Yano vs. Shingo Takagi (Block A) – ***, 7/15/19
73. SANADA vs. Bad Luck Fale (Block A) – ***, 8/10/19
74. Jay White vs. Taichi (Block A) – ***, 8/1/19
75. KENTA vs. Lance Archer (Block A) – **3/4, 7/18/19
76. Kazuchika Okada vs. Bad Luck Fale (Block A) – ***, 7/18/19
77. SANADA vs. KENTA (Block A) – **3/4, 7/30/19
78. Juice Robinson vs. Taichi (Block B) – **3/4, 8/4/19
79. Jay White vs. Jeff Cobb (Block B) – **3/4, 7/24/19
80. Juice Robinson vs. Jeff Cobb (Block B) – **3/4, 7/19/19
81. Lance Archer vs. Bad Luck Fale (Block A) – **3/4, 7/13/19
82. Toru Yano vs. Taichi (Block A) – **1/2, 8/8/19
83. Jon Moxley vs. Jeff Cobb (Block B) – **1/2, 7/15/19
84. Kota Ibushi vs. Bad Luck Fale (Block A) – **1/2
85. KENTA vs. Bad Luck Fale (Block A) – 8/3/19 **1/2
86. Will Ospreay vs. Bad Luck Fale (Block A) – **1/2, 7/27/19
87. Zack Sabre Jr. vs Bad Luck Fale (Block B) – **1/2, 7/20/19
88. Jeff Cobb vs. Toru Yano (Block B) – **1/2, 8/11/19
89. Hirooki Goto vs. Toru Yano (Block B) – **1/4, 7/28/19
90. Jay White vs. Toru Yano (Block B) – *3/4, 7/19/19