It’s SUMMERSLAM! On… August 11!? Why is it so early? What is going on
I’m not sure why WWE chooses to film all their Kickoff Show backstage stuff with the WWE live TV cameras when there’s no crowd reacting, as everything comes off more awkward and flat than usual. Like, you’re really going to do the Bullet Club locker room thing as a throwaway to crippling silence? C’mon.
0. WWE Cruiserweight Title: Drew Gulak [c] vs. Oney Lorcan
Another Kickoff Show match lacking atmosphere because the crowd was still finding their seats, though it got real good once Oney started moving. I liked it starting with a Gulak dropkick, liked Oney’s wild bump off the bodyslam in the corner, liked the part where after some quiet action they just squared up. Gulak slapping Oney on every part of his body, Oney trying to fire up out of it, Gulak grabbing Oney in the GuLock, and Oney quickly escaping into a cover before throwing an Uppercut flurry that won over Toronto was a very good sequence. There were a lot of shots to a guys’ throat, slaps to the neck, and I dug that. It was a rock solid match if not the awesome freak show it read as on paper. Let’s do a rematch on Tuesday. ***1/4
0. Apollo Crews vs. Buddy Murphy
This was another match that began with one guy lunging at another, in this case Buddy Murphy throwing a high knee. Then they did some Athletic Stuff before Rowan ran out and attacked Buddy because this is all about telling STORIES. I appreciated Apollo and Buddy paying tribute to Stampede with a classic mid-air collision off dueling crossbodies. *1/2
Edge interrupting an Elias performance and actually doing the spear was not something I expected. Nice.
0. WWE Women’s Tag Team Title: Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross [c] vs. The IIconics
Alexa Bliss always gets a Road Warrior pop, ya gotta love it. What I didn’t love was Billie Kay’s Maleficent entrance attire causing Corey Graves to make bad Disney references all match. Everybody did a fine job here but this quick formula tag wasn’t what anybody needed right here right now at this point in time. The way Peyton Royce and Alexa Bliss setup that Gory Special was awesome though. *3/4
1. Submission Match – RAW Women’s Title: Becky Lynch [c] vs. Natalya
Just what you want to kick off your show with, Natalya Neidhart working the leg. Were they thinking Toronto was going to go all Canadian Stampede and boo The Man and revere Natalya? Because what they mostly got was confused silence and random boos for a while. Natty worked that leg and look, man – I know the Sharpshooter in the turnbuckle was a nice idea, but I just watched nine Hiroshi Tanahashi singles matches over the last month. They did do a nice G1 tribute with a well-done superplex spot though, and the submission countering at the end wasn’t bad even if the finisher stealing was a little lame. They eventually found a groove, with Toronto freaking out when Natty got the Sharpshooter on and doing the same when Becky got the Disarmer on. Hot finish, but a tough sell early. ***1/4
That push-up Trish had going on felt a little bit insulting, to be honest.
2. Goldberg vs. Dolph Ziggler
Ironically, The Miz probably would’ve made for a better opposition for Goldberg at every level, outside of bumping off the spear – Ziggler earned his rep with that one. Or, those three. A star rating would be dumb, but a winner of a 2019 Goldberg match/angle, and Ziggler did some legit great promo work ranting his way into two more spears. “Anybody could get lucky twice, idiot!”
Xavier Woods, what did you do?
From Kickoff to Pay-Per-View, Drake Maverick low key stole this show. WWE done finally realized what they have.
3. WWE U.S. Title: AJ Styles [c] w/ Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson vs. Ricochet
Ricochet went full Spider-Man for SummerSlam, but going full bodysuit including gloves but no mask felt off. I just couldn’t shake that if I were Ricochet, I would feel sweaty and want to take that long sleeve shirt off. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe they thought of that and it was more breathable than it seemed. I guess I was just more thrown by no mask. Anyways, the step-over Gallows and Anderson into the rana that made the crowd YELP was SO good. Between that, the one-legged springboard, and the insane Phoenix Splash caught with Styles Clash finish – Ricochet is the tailor-made WWE highlight reel guy. The match was a longer-than-usual Ricochet in WWE match, and Styles worked like a reliable craftsman wrestler, targeting the leg and being there for every freakish thing Ricochet did. It was all very very good. Somebody messed up some springboard setup something at some point though. I think this was their best match together so far. ***1/2
4. SmackDown Women’s Title: Bayley [c] vs. Ember Moon
This was what I’d call a cool-down match, and by that I mean one I had trouble getting into and thus judging it on its merits as a wrestling match really isn’t all that fair. The vibe I got is that it didn’t work though. Ember is a capable big match performer, but has basically been treated like a crazy cat lady for the last year and a half, and these 16,000 folks weren’t overcoming a shit build of a championship contender. You know you’re in trouble when the crowd is quiet and Tom Phillips calls something “crafty.” **
5. If Owens Loses, He Quits: Kevin Owens vs. Shane McMahon
Owens took a heck of a bump into the barricade early, but him looking like a dummy by almost getting counted out arguing with Elias or almost getting DQ’d for using a chair, combined with an extended portion of Shane McMahon offense, was not very sports entertaining. Granted, it was a match built around a stip where they really really really wanted to stress that if the heel loses he’s still with the company, so I’m not really sure how I’d lay it out either. Owens is a made man though because at the end of the day, the Stunner is just enough to make you forget. **
6. Trish Stratus vs. Charlotte Flair
A match that felt very… careful, more a business agreement than a wrestling match. Charlotte playing Shane to Trish’s Owens was more compelling, at least, with Trish occasionally proving all those 205 Live guys aren’t the unique butterflies they claim to be and just casually coming back and busting out flying headscissors and whatnot. What was with Toronto losing their minds for people using each others’ finisher submissions? **3/4
Bret Hart burying the hatchet with Seth Rollins = gold.
7. WWE Title: Kofi Kingston [c] vs. Randy Orton
This was a match that was building to something real good and then it just ended by double countout. It was an amazing Orton performance though – Kofi takes some massive bumps, but Orton’s ability to just stand there and milk in a moment is special. He worked over Kofi for what felt like a while and I’m not sure all that much happened but I do know that as he set up a superplex and Kofi tried to fight away the crowd reaction was ASTOUNDING. Of course Randy Orton would have the balls to run with this type of match after a weak stretch of matches before it and actually kind of sort of make it work. It definitely just sort of ended, but the journey before that was a quality one. ***1/4
8. Finn Balor vs. The Fiend/Bray Wyatt
They allegedly did some wrestling moves here, but this section of text is all about a debut that both awesome and chilling. I dug everything about it – the complete re-invention, the theme music being unlike anything WWE has tried before, the presence of something unstoppable and supernatural that hasn’t felt present since, well, Wyatt came around the first time. There’s a small chance it feels like a Create-a-Wrestler, but until that is proven as fact I am going with this being awesome.
9. WWE Universal Title: Brock Lesnar [c] w/ Paul Heyman vs. Seth Rollins
Here’s Brock and Seth on their bullshit again, and it’s again frustratingly brilliant. I didn’t want to see this again, I don’t feel any better that I did, but it was an action-packed sprint where every second felt urgent, and every opening Seth got felt like THE ONE which is really how you want this sort of David vs. Goliath thing to work. The spot where Brock picked up and spun Seth around by his rib-tape was an all-timer, and the big table splash through the announce table was one of the better big table splashes through the announce table. ***3/4
A very straightforward pay-per-view complete with the babyface winning clean and celebrating with his championship, which can sometimes be a good thing but at this very sluggish period in time felt like a bad thing. All the work was solid but there were no real standout matches or angles. Goldberg bodying Dolph and The Fiend’s debut were great, but only one of those takes us somewhere interesting in the future. The build-up here was lacking, so the payoff being so basic kind of bummed me out. 4/10
