Well you can’t say this wasn’t an interesting week of TV.
Interesting week in wrestling, really. As right after RAW and SmackDown aired their usual bullshit, news came out that Paul Heyman and Eric Bischoff are now “Executive Directors” in WWE and will legitimately be overseeing its’ primary programming, working alongside the enigma that is 73-year-old Vince McMahon.
It’s beating not just a dead horse but the rotted bones of a dead horse to say WWE TV has needed major changes for years, and many words have been written about that here at Happy Wrestling Land. And this feels like the biggest attempt at a change in years, the actual payoff of that bizarre “we’re sorry” promo the McMahon Family did back in December where they responded to their dwindling KPI’s with a promise of fresh talent and matches and stories and all kinds of stuff.
The result of that, of course, were the insane introductions of Lacey Evans and a few undercarders from NXT, and after a couple more months the debuts of four exciting guys from NXT that is now two exciting guys from NXT. And maybe… Kofi’s WWE Title push? I don’t know. Business just kind of went on as usual and if anything the matches got way shorter and stories even less interesting. Plus the dumbass Wild Card gimmick was introduced, which meant both RAW and SmackDown felt like the same bad show.
And now? I don’t know. It looks like we’re headed into a Wrestling Mania, and by that I do not mean WrestleMania but an actual Wrestling Mania, one of the most exciting and euphoric times in wrestling history after what, despite so many changes that would’ve sounded insane twenty years ago (CM Punk!? Kevin Owens!? Johnny Gargano!? A WOMAN’S EVOLUTION!?), has been a bit of a slog. WWE keeps chugging along and will occasionally provide an awesome moment or 3-month stretch of TV, but for the last couple years or so all those cool changes seemed to get caught up in the good old-fashioned WWE Machine.
As the summer of 2019 rolls around though, we’ve got AEW and NJPW and McMahon actually doing the damn thing and giving the keys to his rivals who, for better or worse, caused a whole lot of us to be obsessed with this whole thing.
Pretty good week of TV too.
R-Truth, The New Day, Drake Maverick, and Nikki Cross as the biggest beneficiaries of the Wild Card gimmick was not what I was expecting, but I’m happy for all of them. On the contrary – there have been so many losers, guys who have been either de-emphasized, relegated to 90-second nothing segments, or outright disappeared.
But maybe that’s not all that bad now either. Maybe some guys just need a reboot. Maybe they just need a new… executive direction.
I’m sorry, that was terrible. Let’s talk about the TV.
RAW (7/1/19)
Paul Heyman is a complicated figure, as when he’s in charge he does all these things that seem so simple but never actually happen, so when they do happen and work he’s labeled a genius even if what he did was just such basic pro wrestling.
Anyways, while I’m not sure of any exact timeline or power structure, the Heyman Effect seemed to be in full bloom tonight: a big stunt at the start that got brought up in nearly every segment after, three roaming backstage segments to hype up Ricochet vs. AJ, Undertaker teases throughout the show, a debut and charisma showcase for the Street Profits, a pregnancy angle, talent inter-weaving in angles, Cesaro looking like a badass for the first time ever. I mean good LORD.
The show began with Braun Strowman vs. Bobby Lashley in a Falls Count Anywhere match and I’m not going to BS you here: this RULED. Outside of some walking around in the crowd this was basically just two mammoths straight-up running into each other a bunch of times and colliding like the Greek Gods they are. It was a perfect example of using Braun Strowman and Bobby Lashley, two guys who are clear specimens and for the last long while have just been BORING. Bobby ran into one of Braun’s shoulder tackles SOOOOO hard, I felt it from the TV. Loved it.
And then they done did a stunt. Braun and Bobby ran themselves into the LED stage setup and while all the explosions were absolutely a bit much, everything else was perfect. Corey actually seriously uttered the words “holy shit” on WWE’s PG television program and then the LONG camera shot from above of them being put on stretchers was incredible. Everything felt real and interesting and important.
Outside of that match, there wasn’t much good wrestling here but most stuff had a hook and didn’t feel as counter-productive as it usually does. Big E & Xavier Woods vs. The Viking Raiders happened for a few minutes before Samoa Joe emerged from the shadows and attacked Woods, which brought out Joe foe Kofi Kingston for the save and turned it into a 6-man tag. And it was an OK TV match that ended with Joe straight choking Kofi out, which I loved.
The bits with Drake Maverick and His Wife with the 24/7 Title were good spots for Drake, who has deserved a big spot on actual TV since he arrived on 205 Live. Drake hugging his wife then his eyes shifting to R-Truth walking by, as well as Drake sitting front row with his wife and dancing to No Way Jose‘s music had me legitimately cracking up. And he WON THE TITLE AT THE END OF THE SHOW!!!
Jose tried to enter for a match with Cesaro, but R-Truth joined Jose’s conga line crew taunted Drake, then got chased around by a bunch of nobodies who want the 24/7 Title, and then Cesaro just laid Jose’s ass out on the floor like a beast. Tremendous segment with a ton going on.
Loved the Street Profits debut, though the NXT Tag Team Titles are becoming a real blessing/curse kind of deal. I’m not sure if the brief clip of them at the start of the show was a mistake or not, but their proper intro with first an interview that had them making The Rock references and doing a cheesy thumbs up and Montez Ford’s charisma just blasting off the screen, along with an interruption of a Paul Heyman backstage interview later in the show where they actually got Paul Heyman to shut up, was one of the better NXT act introductions in a while.
The Shane McMahon & Drew McIntyre feud with The Undertaker and kind-of-sort-of Roman Reigns ain’t much, but I’m all for stupid fake Undertaker lightning strikes on my TV every once in a while. Taker showed up and set Shane straight: “You may be the best… in THIS world.” I sure hate Saudi cash-grab Taker, but this Taker is alright.
Baron Corbin and Lacey Evans cut a pair of very well-produced promos backstage before Lacey beat Natalya with Corbin’s help.
The Miz vs. Elias in a 2/3 FALLS MATCH! had an awesome finish with Elias smashing his knee into the LED post and Miz taking advantage and winning with the figure-four Ric Flair handed down to him for the first time in years, but the 2/3 falls gimmick just ruined any goodwill an already average match could’ve earned. The first two falls were so quick and pointless – you can have Elias do a singing bit and get interrupted by promo god Miz, or you can have both Elias and Miz get pinned in quick succession and head to commercial. WHY WOULD YOU CHOOSE THE LATTER?
Even Seth Rollins and Becky Lynch were kind of adorbs together tonight, and I didn’t think I’d ever see WWE pushing a romance where both parties are equal in their badassery. An interview by them was interrupted by Maria Kanellis, who not only cut them AND her man down to size – “How about me and my bitch take on you… and yours” – she refused to tag when she announced she was PREGNANT. Poor Mike tapped to a Disarmer in what could be an epic burial or might be the start of something special for him – it’s wrestling, you know? Regardless, this was wild hilarious TV.
A Moment of Bliss leading to Carmella beating Alexa Bliss in 10 seconds leading to Nikki Cross beating Carmella wasn’t any good, but it sure built some characters. I bet Heyman likes Carmella.
All those aforementioned backstage segments to build-up AJ Styles vs. Ricochet for the U.S. Title involved Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson stirring shit up between them, which created a scenario in which there was some actual HYPE for a RAW main event as AJ, the guy trying to prove he’s not soft, challenged Ricochet, the guy trying to prove he’s ready for the big leagues. The MOTIVATIONS!!!
Unfortunately, despite the Big Match Feel created by these simple wrestling skits, the match was pretty short and had a restart gimmick when AJ appeared to win the title but Ricochet’s foot was on the ropes. These two wrestling each other is fun stuff, but it was more a series of exciting wrestling sequences than the great match I hope they’ll have soon.
Thankfully, all was not for naught, as AJ Styles got some desperately needed edge back by doing the same thing he did three years ago, by turning on his poor opponent/pal and joining back up with his old running buddies Gallows & Anderson. The Club is back, or some version of it. Will it quickly end and become irrelevant like last time, or now that some new blood is running things is this going to go somewhere cool? I can’t wait to see!
SMACKDOWN (7/2/19)
A fun enough show, not as exciting as RAW but there was a lot of solid work here from good performers that maybe still feel a little midcardy. There were also a lot of examples of maximizing minutes in-ring – Bayley/Nikki Cross and Andrade/Apollo Crews both got only 5 minutes and did well, while Mandy Rose/Ember Moon got less than freakin’ 2 and did the same. Probably also worth mentioning that the rumor is Heyman was indeed heavily involved Monday, while Bischoff doesn’t get started until after Extreme Rules.
The Kevin Owens Show with Shane McMahon & Drew McIntyre was a heck of a segment, from Owens reading cue cards to Shane being a compelling heel for once by telling Owens to read the script and “do your job” to the Dolph Ziggler interruption which led to one of the all-time great hilarious promo burials in WWE history by Owens. There have been like 5 different times where it seemed like there’s been an opening for an Owens face turn and then they just don’t do it. But I think they should do it.
I think the stip for the Dolph/Owens vs. Heavy Machinery main event (winners are added to the SmackDown Tag Titles match at Extreme Rules), confused everybody, most of all Shane who announced it. I’m not sure they ever really made a deal of Bryan/Rowan defending against New Day, and now it’s changed to a Triple Threat with two teams who wouldn’t add much to that cool match.
Daniel Bryan vs. Big E was a very fun TV match, unsurprisingly since these guys seem to have too much of a sense of humor and down to earth-ness to not deliver something like this, as abbreviated as it was. E doing the hip swivels on a Daniel Bryan waistlock is LIFE. Bryan worked a leg, Bryan ran full speed into a couple massive belly-to-belly suplexes, Bryan went back to the leg, Rowan helped Bryan win. I love when they do a Big E pre-match promo in the Gorilla Position that transitions into him doing the New Day intro live too… really shows what a pro this guy is.
Nikki Cross was given a shot at hosting A Moment of Bliss with Bayley and absolutely SMASHED her role, the misguided babyface who wants to be cool so aligns with the heel. Here she was basically a confused Trump supporter being read a thorough analysis (by Bayley) of why their actions are incorrect, and instead of accepting it she challenged Bayley to a FIGHT.
That fight was a great little 5-minute match complete with an awesome Cross fire-up comeback and a quick Bayley-to-Belly finish that even though it came quick felt like it made perfect sense.
Ali had a very Special Moment on this show, cutting an awesome promo from some undisclosed location about how he doesn’t want to win the WWE Title for money and fame, but so a little boy or girl can look up and see somebody who looks and sounds like them and their idea of what they can accomplish can change. It was a mission statement, which you don’t normally get from a WWE rassler, and I loved it. The emergence of Ali as a player will hopefully be a fun thing to watch play out over the next few years.
The Samoa Joe/Kofi Kingston face-off was a fine version of the type of segment WWE usually gives you two weeks out from a pay-per-view. Joe continues to be one of the top promos in the business and Kofi keeps growing more and more into his Top Guy role every week.
We checked in with Bobby Lashley, who apparently now wants to murder Braun. AWESOME. They’ve quietly set up a lot of unknowns for Extreme Rules… a possible Lashley/Braun collision, Aleister Black‘s challenger apparently being revealed, and probably Heyman pulling some STUFF.
Apollo Crews vs. Andrade had Apollo showing off more than he maybe ever has, and it was a very good showcase for the eternally under-utilized fella. Andrade as per usual was on point, and Zelina Vega’s rana to the floor on Crews was cool as usual.
Not sure I can tell you what the Shelton Benjamin thing was supposed to be. Nope.
I’m not sure if Heavy Machinery actually ends up anywhere interesting, but this week they got their most focus yet and it wasn’t bad. Otis has the face of a man with a unique set of wisdom, and him grunting and YEAAHHH’ing his way through the match with Owens and Ziggler was fun. Tucker meanwhile showed off that he’s got some tricks, like a cool front roll in the ring and a big boy crossbody from the turnbuckle.
Ziggler and Owens aren’t very interesting beatdown guys, but that got kept short and the whole match had Bryan, Rowan, E and Woods bantering over commentary before they started fighting and Woods went through a table. A fun enough match to end a fun enough show.
205 LIVE (7/2/19)
MAN is Tony Nese uniquely bad at WWE script-reading. And I hate to say it but Oney Lorcan may be right behind him.
This show has a strong roster but continues to plod along – I’ll let you know if there’s ever anything ACTUALLY good on it.
Lucha House Party (Metalik & Dorado) vs. The Singh Brothers in a Tornado Tag Match was a decent match that could’ve maybe been more than that if anybody REALLY cared. The Singh boys put the boots to Metalik and did some solid double team maneuvers, and then the Lucha boys made a comeback with all kinds of impressive flying that popped the crowd. I dug it.
Nese, Lorcan and Jack Gallagher vs. Drew Gulak, Ariya Daivari & the very troubled Mike Kanellis was one HELL of a 6-man tag on paper… I don’t even know if it even looks any good, but what a cast of characters. I always thought 6-man’s were the most obvious easy thing 205 Live could do all the time, but they never do and even when they do the teams don’t have any cohesion. Why not just make some real alliances and reboot Michinoku Pro, yanno?
Anyways, this match had a cool spot where Nese tried to do a springboard thing inside and Gulak just pushed him to the floor, causing Nese to just launch himself onto everybody that was down there. Otherwise, even if Oney was chopping a bunch of fools, this was way too formula to be anything other than OK. Gallagher pinned poor Kanellis and then everybody brawled post-match and it was vaguely cool because they faded out on it.
NXT UK 50 (7/3/19)
I believe this was the best single episode yet from NXT UK as far as a mix of good wrestling, building people up (Jazzy and Wolfe), and setting up feuds (Imperium vs. Britsh Strong Style, Ohno vs. Mark Andrews, Dar vs. Kenny Williams). Lots of stuff happened and it was Actually Good.
They’ve been building Piper Niven vs. Rhea Ripley up for so long that when Rhea ran out at the start of the show and called her out I wasn’t expecting them to have such a MATCH, especially on TV on their first go. There was a ton of hair-pulling here, but in a good way not a 2006 Divas division way. Rhea kicked some ass while Piper occasionally launched herself at her with a crossbody and a dropkick. By the end they were just throwing short-arm clotheslines at each other until Piper pulled out the triumphant victory. Good shit.
Noam Dar shoved poor Kenny Williams in the dirt at Download Fest. That’s the type of unique match setup we need more of in NXT UK and WWE in genral.
Alexander Wolfe now wears simply black tights, black kneepads, and black boots, and I LUV IT. He is a beefy boy who just dominated perennial enhancement guy Jack Starz, from a straight-up bodyslam to a Death Valley Driver to a sit-out powerbomb that got the win. Awesome squash.
Jinny watched on as Jazzy Gabert had herself a fine Handicap Match squash – nothing special but it did its job.
Kassius Ohno calling out Mark Andrews for being a poser and using the superkick because of Shawn Michaels and not Chris Adams a hell of a flex, and kind of shocking to see WWE pull.
The Grizzled Young Veterans defended the NXT Tag Team Titles against Moustache Mountain in a match that didn’t reach (or need to reach) the heights of their TakeOver: Blackpool match, but was a very good tag bordering heading to great territory before Imperium ran in with their tracksuits. Gibson and Drake have got a basic tag shtick down, while the lads were as per usual great babyfaces, whether on offense or defense. The Imperium run-in for the DQ was a bummer but bled into an awesome angle, with Seven getting handcuffed and Bate just getting wrecked with a powerbomb on the apron AND the turnbuckle post. Imperium posing on the apron as Seven screamed “TYLER!!!” to end the show was a VISUAL. Loved this.
NXT (7/3/19)
A decent show with one of the finest squash matches you’ll ever see.
First, Mia Yim vs. Aliyah was alright. Aliyah does all the right heel stuff but it remains tough to buy into. Mia’s “sit your ass down” that scared her to the mat was a highlight. I dug Yim just throwing Vanessa Borne into the stairs post-match, then calling out Shayna at the commentary table – push that babyface, baby.
The Ciampa injury sucked, but I think NXT is finally getting the Adam Cole/Johnny Gargano feud on track… just months after their two TakeOver main events, lol. Cole visiting Frank Gargano’s shop to pick up pizza was amazing, as was Frank wearing his generic NXT t-shirt even moreso, as was Frank’s head-shaking disappointment over Cole putting his autographed picture up on the wall. Cole at the AIW training school talking shit wasn’t bad either.
KUSHIDA had himself a SQUASH where he tapped a dude out. Cool.
The Killian Dain vignette this week was pretty neat. Dain, Cross, and Wolfe all had good weeks, while Eric Young may or may not have chased R-Truth for the 24/7 Championship.
Poor Isaiah “Swerve” Scott, the former Shane Strickland, said his name in his little interview like he was still practicing it. Him vs. Cameron Grimes, the former Trevor Lee, was another fine NXT Breakout Tournament match where they got to show off their stuff. Scott had the cool moment spots, while Grimes had a more straightforward strike-based take that I appreciated. A very pilot kind of feel of a match, but not bad.
That squash I was talking about was Bianca Belair‘s. She took on Priscilla Zuniga, who pretty early on said HIT ME – so Bianca elbowed her straight to hell and beat he absolute fuck out of her, did a press slam where she did a few squats, caught a dive with a triple powerbomb, and finished her off with the torture rack facebuster finish. The absolute CONFIDENCE of Bianca Belair, man. There’s a deep history now but this might’ve been the best WWE TV studio wrestling squash ever.
Matt Riddle got a little showcase with a video of him training and talking about his journey to NXT. It was a nice way of keeping Riddle around, if he’s not gonna knock fools out weekly.
Roderick Strong vs. Tyler Breeze was a fine wrestling match that ended when The Undisputed Era interfered to help Roddy win. Breeze took a back bump on the steel steps and the wrestling was credible and solid and whatnot. Their match at Worlds Collide was a little better.
MAIN EVENT (7/3/19)
Dana Brooke vs. Sarah Logan PART 3 took place this week, and this is a weird case of a series of matches on Main Event actually building on each other, with Dana getting busted open cutting the first one short, Dana avoiding the same fate and winning the second one, and now this with Logan getting her W. The twisting gutbuster Logan does is sweet, and I’m telling you these Dana Brooke comebacks are getting OVER. Then Logan won with a running knee to the back of the head. Nice.
Cedric Alexander vs. Robert Roode also had a PART 3 and this thing ruled. There was well-timed taunting during the opening sequence, a sweet tope by Cedric, Cedric flying around and being awesome in general, Roode THERE for everything, counters of finishers, good near falls, and Roode Cheating 2 Win. For the first time in a while, a MAIN EVENT MATCH WORTH WATCHING
WWE TV Match of the Week: I had the most fun with the Braun Strowman vs. Bobby Lashley Falls Count Anywhere Match on RAW this week, but for more straightforward good wrestling, both Piper Niven vs. Rhea Ripley and Grizzled Young Veterans vs. Moustache Mountain on NXT UK were quality.
WWE TV MVP of the Week: Nikki Cross
Even if WWE is incapable of major changes and Heyman/Bischoff end up butting heads with McMahon, seeing what Heyman/Bischoff do given their new power is going to be a fascinating ride over the next few months. Oh and the G1 Climax starts tomorrow. WRESTLING!!!!SDJDSFNJ
RAW: 8/10
SmackDown: 6/10
205 Live: 4/10
NXT UK: 9/10
NXT: 6/10
