Kickoff Show
The Jonathan Coachman-led Kickoff Show was as per usual a bore to banter among friends during, but there was certainly some darkness in the light: Booker T killing 5 minutes using every cage match cliche in the book, Big E’s legs spread wide as he chugged milk at the panel table, Samoa Joe promo’ing Ricochet into oblivion, and Daniel Bryan cutting down an epic promo that both began and ended with a rant on Charles Robinson being in his shot were all good fun.
0. Triple Threat Match – WWE Cruiserweight Title: Tony Nese [c] vs. Akira Tozawa vs. Drew Gulak
Awesome, non-stop action is a cliche match description these days, but at a little over 10 minutes these guys brought just that. Every shot and dive connected, Nese’s athleticism is insane, and Tozawa knows how to get a crowd popping whether it’s his deadlift fireman’s carry spot or amazing somersault plancha off the apron. These boys got actual 2-0-5 chants, which amaze me every time. Drew Gulak as Cruiserweight Champion is VERY VERY GOOD. Great opener. ****
1. RAW Women’s Title: Becky Lynch [c] vs. Lacey Evans
Becky Lynch is at the untouchable WWE star phase of her career, in that her matches are going to be pretty basic stuff brought way way up by her being an untouchable WWE star and the crowd buying more of whatever it is she’s doing. They had that type of match here, a fine formula match brought up by the crowd being all about The Man. Lacey continues to have a potential that I’m afraid they’ll diminish by throwing her in so many big spots, but it’s a testament to both these guys that the match pretty much worked. Lacey’s beatdown was a little PC trainee, but the comeback and back-and-forth at the end was good stuff. Decent match, impressive performances. ***
Is Ali Spider-Man now?
2. The New Day (Big E & Xavier Woods) vs. Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn
God bless The New Day and Steenerico for being given what could’ve been the most boring-ass basic cold tag team match and doing something DIFFERENT. Owens and Zayn going for the kill right away was a great take on what could’ve easily been the same match we see every time, and they kept the heat on poor Woods going until an awesome E hot tag. Woods continues to be an underrated face-in-peril, and the finish was a ton of fun highlighted by Woods lifting up E on his shoulders and the E spear through the ropes that felt even wilder and better timed than usual. The Helluva Kick/pop-up powerbomb kickout was The Undertaker kicking out of Sweet Chin Music/Pedigree of WWE 2010s midcard, and the Everybody’s Down spot was a great peak. Plus it ended with a Stunner. Very good. ***1/2
OK the Nikki Cross character focus has been nice but she has quickly went from misguided girl looking to friends to gullible dumbass. Damn you, WWE.
3. WWE U.S. Title: Samoa Joe [c] vs. Ricochet
This was a meeting of two gentleman who became top stars in two very different independent scene eras, and though they’re a generation apart they pulled off what felt like an ideal Dream Match between these two – it wasn’t the usual matwork to move-trading to near fall stuff though, it was Samoa Joe kicking Ricochet’s ass while Ricochet bumped like crazy to make it all look great. When he did get a shot or two in it worked too, because Ricochet always looks weirdly credible against big guys, even while he’s bumping and flopping around to make you think he has no chance. I liked how his eventual comeback didn’t feel like the usual fired up rally, but simply a guy catching Joe and quickly taking advantage. ***1/2
4. SmackDown Tag Team Title: Daniel Bryan & Rowan [c] vs. Heavy Machinery
These guys seemed all amped up to have a silly come-down match, but the crowd just wanted to cheer hometown guy Daniel Bryan and was not in the mood for one second of Heavy Machinery’s bullshit. Regardless this was still a fine match – I don’t know what Bryan is doing here but I like seeing the choices he makes when he is, and that I just wanna see what he decides to do in different situations makes him a top-tier talent in my book. And he did awesome here, even if nothing he could do would turn a soul in Tacoma against him. He played it straight, beat up Tucky, and when Rowan was dismantling the opposition he kneeled in the corner like some kind of genius weirdo. Tucker busted out a moonsault, Rowan and Otis had a nice little showdown, and the Bryan/Rowan reign continued. Fun little wrestling match. ***1/4
5. SmackDown Women’s Title: Bayley [c] vs. Alexa Bliss w/ Nikki Cross
These two just don’t mesh in-ring – it was terrible a couple years ago, now it was just super formulaic and average. Alexa Bliss on offense continues to be an enigma, I used to like how she’d feel bigger and taller than she was but now she feels less Eddie Guerrero and more Big John Studd. The finish was well-done but otherwise ehhh. **
6. Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre w/ Shane McMahon
There were a whole lot of smoke and mirrors here for what was ultimately a pretty formula Roman match choc full of Drew McIntyre applying holds. So. Many. Holds. Why can’t Roman vs. Drew be the awesome fight it seems like it should be? I feel like we’re back to Roman Reigns 2014 still figuring out among a suspect crowd as opposed to Roman Reigns 2017 who put out awesome physical matches weekly that the crowd just couldn’t deny. They had some fun moments laid out here and you could say it did its Sports Entertainment job, but yeesh. Drew might still suck. **1/2
7. Steel Cage Match – WWE Title: Kofi Kingston [c] vs. Dolph Ziggler
This stupid match. Love Kofi, but he needs interesting opposition. Dolph gave it his all on the promos, but he’s still Dolph in the ring. So this was just a long boring match that I hated. I know these guys are pro but it’s like they seriously didn’t have enough material for 20 minutes. Kofi’s leap-through-the-door escape finish was cool, but it’s another WWE cage match with zero actual risks or violence and it felt like there were a lot of… ankle locks? A cage match where a large portion was based around ANKLE LOCKS? Plus you’ve got Kofi Kingston in a cage and he only did like two cool things? WTF WAS THIS? These guys have had some bangers in the past but whether this was for the WWE Title or IC Title or FCW Title, it stunk. *3/4
8. WWE Universal Title: Seth Rollins [c] vs. Baron Corbin (Special Guest Referee: Lacey Evans)
The big hook going in to Stomping Grounds was “Who’s the Special Guest Referee?” and in Lacey Evans WWE provided the perfect troll addition to what already felt like a troll match. From an outsider perspective there’s a lot going here causing this – people backstage like Corbin, they need to kill some time with Rollins before something else, they want to establish Lacey, they’ve spent so much time on Corbin so why not try and take advantage, etc. But still… why have your wrestling main event come off as a troll job? And maybe even more important there’s a difference between heat and boring. And this was just boring. They used all the usual tricks, including the Evans slow count and eye-rolling match restarts, and though the Becky run-in payoff at the end was great this was a pretty bleak statement on whatever WWE is trying to do right now. *3/4
A fun first half with fired up talent trying to re-establish main roster WWE as a place where good wrestling happens, followed by a terrible last half where all the crappy decisions made over the last couple months paid out. Not as bad as expected, but still not good. 5/10
