Working Man’s WWE TV Review: 5/26/19 – 6/1/19

For lack of a way better term, WWE has its ups and downs.

But at the end of the day, their mantra is always just to remain… fine.

They turn profits. Good profits. And sometimes when you’re doing that, a risk seems scary.

So you just remain… fine.

Could this be better? Could that be better?

Yeah. Maybe.

But everything’s kinda fine now.

It’s like Disney. This year alone we got live action Dumbo and Aladdin already out with Lion King on the way. The first two weren’t bad, they were just… fine. Just like the live action Beauty & The Beast.

Just… fine. But everybody saw them. Because they were known entities and they were there. Plus how many other actually viable alternatives are there to these properties that evoke the complicated nostalgia they do?

For a long time, WWE’s only alternatives have been independents features and what sometimes amount to B-movie. Nothing really… viable.

This week, something viable came on the scene though. And it sure was fun.

RAW (5/27/19)

Let us cherish the good moments – Dolph Ziggler’s weirdly good promo, Brock Party, Ricochet, and that little girl going DUH to Sami Zayn. Otherwise, just a bleak show.

Brock Lesnar hamming it up and dancing with the Money in the Bank briefcase like it was a boom box sure is a way to start a show but the whole thing with the music cues for possible opponents Seth Rollins and Kofi Kingston was so bad. Between this and the Zayn Q&A the timing and execution felt off more than usual tonight, made all the worse by the silent crowd confused at why they spent money on this show in front of them that is providing moments of joy maybe once an hour of three.

Dolph Ziggler attacking Xavier Woods and eventually brawling with Kofi was a decent brawl and I’m into New Day being top babyface acts but between the Saudi Arabia show, the Kevin Owens feud pause, and Dolph Ziggler in general there is just a looming presence of WHY around this whole thing. Ziggler’s promo honestly might’ve been an all-timer. I don’t know. What happens when you do good work at a time nobody cares?

Shane McMahon recounting the history of Samoans in WWE to silence was excruciating. Corey Graves’ “Oh my god, who’s it gonna be!?” before commercial before Roman Reigns‘ random indy cousin showed up in his t-shirt was a real dick move. Lance Anao’i did take a heck of a belly-to-belly on the floor from Drew McIntyre though. Cowarldy Shane beating around Roman’s rookie cousin isn’t a bad idea on paper but this just had a tone deaf execution and the crowd turned on it hard.

Still though – “If Sika was here right now, this is exactly what I’d be doing to him” as Shane had Roman in his shitty triangle choke was a classic.

As was Lesnar not knowing he had a year to cash-in Money in the Bank – alright, alright, cute bit. Now go make some superstars.

Becky Lynch remains pretty over and teamed with the quietly emerging Nikki Cross against The IIconics who unfortunately were just no good working over Cross, and that was most of the match.

Ricochet vs. Cesaro Part II was good, again. The first move they did was Ricochet charged Cesaro, Cesaro threw him onto the top turnbuckle, and Ricochet jumped backwards with a hurricanrana. Maximize those TV minutes baby. Otherwise this was good solid stuff with the occasional mind-blowing thing like Ricochet’s bumping into the corner for a running uppercut like he was tied to a stunt rig or something. I’m not even sure what Ricochet’s finish was – some kind of core lift from the outside onto Cesaro’s shoulders into a rana!? – but I respected it. Happy these guys are working together, now maybe make em matter a little more.

The Miz vs. Braun Strowman vs. Baron Corbin vs. Bobby Lashley #1 Contender’s Match was occasionally crowd-pleasing 4-way bullshit that just barely got fun for the finish.

The AEW mention was cute but Sami Zayn‘s “Electric Chair” Q&A promo thing was not a great use of TV. I did appreciate the old feel of TNT with real and sometimes awkward fans asking these questions, but it was just not good TV outside of the gal’s DUHH when Sami followed up on her question.

A random Seth Rollins vs. Sami Zayn unpromoted main event is not the worst random unprompted main event but they went pretty by the numbers before finding a groove and tacking on some decent stuff at the end that sent the folks home happy. This is why you hire pros – in tough times, go kill 20 in a main event with no build.

SMACKDOWN (5/28/19)

RAW and SmackDown feeling identical thanks to the WILD CARD~! rule is such a bummer, but while these two shows feel way too similar there’s still something about SmackDown that at least doesn’t feel as counter-productive as RAW.

Kofi Kingston just killin’ time at the start of RAW is swell, but the promo material didn’t exactly put asses in those couches. Then he and Kevin Owens went 20 minutes and it was… also not great, though Owens pulled out some cool stuff: a superkick to counter Kofi’s skin-the-cat, the frog splash to the floor, and the Swanton all looked good. Nice Trouble in Paradise finish too.

Insane eco-terrorist tag team champion Daniel Bryan going off on the names of the creatures eaten over the Memorial Day weekend weekend was a diamond in the rough that is WWE in early June 2019. “HOW BOUT YOUR EARTHQUAKES?” Heavy Machineryvs. Bryan/Rowan is too amusing of a direction to not be fine with it.

Mandy Rose vs. Carmella got way more than I thought it would, running four minutes this week. It was nice of them to establish that not all Carmella matches will be 24/7 Title angles.

Aleister Black wants competition, apparently. Can’t HE go find that competition? No? Where is he when he’s cutting these promos, anyways? Has anyone actually seen this man since the shakeup?

Shane Mcmahon Appreciation Night with McIntyre and Elias was a bunch of blah blah time-killing bullshit. Shane vs. Reigns as lead feud isn’t providing any good TV. Another situation where on paper it’s fine, but in practice and where it’s headed it sucks.

Not sure if Lacey Evans took or Bayley delivered the goofy corner turnbuckle dropkick outside better ever, but that was good. These two had a solid ol’ match, Bayley’s got her groove back and Lacey seems to be beginning to fit in.

Roman Reigns & R-Truth vs. Drew McIntyre & Elias was the most basic of tag team matches but holy cow at that Roman hot tag pop. Dug Reigns helping his new buddy Truth get his 24/7 Title back from Elias too. Quietly, subtly, WWE tells the most compelling story of all in wrestling right now – Roman’s search for friends in a post-Ambrose world. Is it The Miz? R-Truth? Time will tell.

205 LIVE (5/28/19)

An occasional side effect of 205 Live is fun wrestlers get to fuck around with each other for 20 minutes. Humberto Carrillo and Jack Gallagher did just that in the main event of this show, with Humberto showing he can go on the mat. Gallagher slowed it down for a few minutes but they pulled off some wild stuff towards the end, great mesh of styles.

Otherwise the show still kinda sucks. Brian Kendrick vs. Mike Kanellis opened – Kendrick took a suplex into the barricade, Kanellis a suplex off the steel steps. They threw some tough shots, Kendrick kept going to Captain’s Hook. It was pretty good actually but it still kind of sucked at the same time.

“Thank you, bye bye, Oklahoma sucks.” – Noam Dar

NXT UK 45 (5/29/19)

Ehhhhhhhh. That TakeOver: Cardiff blunder really says it all.

WALTER, Fabian Aichner and Marcel Barthel (who isn’t much on the mic and should still be the only talker in the group) introduced themselves as Imperium to open the show and I can’t say their mission statement of making a better NXT UK is much of a hook. Regardless they had a good brawl with Pete Dunne who brought along old pals Moustache Mountain for the ride, which NXT UK trying stuff like cutting to commercial as if the camera had broke. Loved Radzi nodding afterwards when Sid Scal announced a 6-man tag for 2 weeks, as if all these chaotic problems had just been solved.

Carlos Romo & A-Kid did a respectable job bumping around for Wolfgang & Mark Coffey, Xia Brookside and Isla Dawn might team up, and Joseph Conners wants Ilja Dragunov blah blah blah.

Kassius Ohno vs. Jack Gallagher was a cool match where busted out all kinds of cool classic tricks you so rarely see on WWE TV, but while they had a good time there’s something performative sometimes when WWE guys go full Brit. Like; alright, cool – you did the stuff.

Toni Storm vs. Nina Samuels for the NXT UK Women’s Title had the right idea but was missing a lot, most of all impact behind most moves they did. They did a spot with Nina doing cartwheels and posing and then getting kicked and Toni doing a cartwheel and posing that I wanted to like but didn’t 100% work. Samuels is clearly trying, but you don’t really want to be clearly trying either. Storm whiffed an enzuigiri bad too.

Really needed an NJPW-like post-title match challenge after this to get to Toni’s next program. Where’s Jinny at?

NXT (5/29/19)

Good wrestling, iffy TakeOver go-home show.

Mia Yim vs. Bianca Belair and Drew Gulak vs. KUSHIDA were both good physical matches that didn’t alert the brain’s natural aversion to pro wrestling’s overt fakeness. Yim/Belair was actually the more physical of the two, while Gulak/KUSHIDA was more a chess match with the occasional crazy submission or stiff shot. Love a good solid 10-minute TV match, and as far as WWE goes NXT is weirdly the only place really delivering those these last few months.

Big win for Mia Yim too.

Very good video package for Dream/Breezy and Io/Shayna is a-buildin’. I dig the angle of Candice LeRae offering to be Io’s pal now that Kairi has abandoned her for SmackDown catering.

Ending the show with the tag division was blah though, especially with the least interesting teams in the 4-Way Tag Titles Ladder match in The Forgotten Sons and Danny Burch & Oney Lorcan. Brawl with Undisputed Era and Street Profits at the end didn’t do much, but I guess it did something.

MAIN EVENT (5/29/19)

EC3 vs. Cedric Alexander continued their series this week, with Cedric doing his usual 5-minute match stuff plus a cool dropkick to the back of the head. EC3 is looking more disappointed by the week. Maybe make that the gimmick.

Gallows & Anderson vs. Ryder & Hawkins went to commercial with Hawkins about to take some heat, then came back with Hawkins (yes, Hawkins) getting a hot tag, and all it accomplished was remind me that Ryder and Hawkins are the RAW Tag Champs. Best use of Main Event TV time in a while to be honest.