Here at Happy Wrestling Land, we aim to gather some kind of weird museum of wrestling recommendations and thoughts through time that can be explored and curated.
You might notice an asterisk or five next to every match, because everything listed here is rated on the five-star Wrestling Observer scale. We try to rate what matches achieve based on their position, because a 5-minute TV match that gets a guy over deserves a way better rating than something goes a half-hour but only has 5 interesting minutes. Also, none of that six-star shit.
Basically: how strongly can we recommend this match, both to a wrestling geek and a regular human being? We like quality, but we also like how insane and weird and stupid and subjective professional wrestling is.
I like how the guys at Segunda Caida rate their matches more – SKIPPABLE, GREAT, EPIC, etc – but The Star is the universal language, one used differently by many and bastardized by all, but the one that makes the most sense right now.
Also, on Happy Wrestling Land’s Matchlists: if it’s worth watching, got something over, or is just affectionately strange, a match or angle will have a pound sign (#) at the start of it.
Some of the questions we ask on the way to a rating: Are we advancing something? Does this not feel fake? Did the crowd buy it? Was there drama? Was there cool shit? Was it unique? Memorable? Trendsetting? Mind-melting?
Has my soul been poked?
Is this below average, satisfactory, or one of the greatest pro wrestling matches I’ve ever seen?
Sometimes a match just isn’t meant to be “great” though. We don’t always need the epic. A TV wrestling match in the 2000’s is typically shorter and has a commercial or two, while a PPV match usually gets more time and has more opportunity to hit a second gear. Meanwhile a **1/2 Superstars match from 1989 is likely going to be a lot more fun to me than a ***1/4 Rollins/Zayn match. New Japan main events usually go hard, but that also means a *** RAW TV match is impressive while a *** New Japan main event is BAD.
Some don’t rate a match under ***, which is smart. We do! How else can one recommend seeing SOME Barbarian or Braun Strowman squash, or compare them to another Barbarian or Braun Strowman squash? I’m not going to say it’s some **** match that belongs in the Smithsonian, or even that it’s more impressive than two fellas having a disappointing 20-minute match that still had a bunch of good stuff in it, but The Barbarian and Braun Strowman squashes are vital parts of pro wrestling.
Presentation helps too. Like a lot.
TL;DR: Star ratings are stupid, but we at Happy Wrestling Land use them anyways.
