All Elite Wrestling was officially announced this week and my take on that is that it will be a pretty fun thing to follow develop until it actually launches in May. Thank you.
RAW (1/7/19)
Despite promises to the contrary, RAW is still kind of horseshit, though there was some fun wrestling on this one if you could get past the horseshit.
It was a show I did not like that also had a lot of stuff that I liked.
As a sidenote, the crowd really stunk tonight – no pop for Braun Strowman‘s return, no reaction to Ronda Rousey calling out Sasha Banks. Part of that’s on WWE but still, rough stuff. Maybe The Hulkster’s promo on the afterlife killed em.
The opening brawl between Seth Rollins and Bobby Lashley made me think, “Oh cool they’re trying something.”
Nice save spot for Finn Balor off the John Cena opening promo that got interrupted by Drew McIntyre… and Bobby Lashley… and Rollins… and Dean Ambrose… and Finn Balor. Considering many factors (AEW, Japan, smark cred, over with casuals, healthy, looks like a sexy swimmer) he is a pretty obvious guy to give a little bump to on the Road to WrestleMania. Drew calling out Cena is cool too, but we’ll see where that goes before getting excited.
John Cena, Seth Rollins & Finn Balor vs. Dean Ambrose, Drew McIntyre and Bobby Lashley was very much a 6-man tag: Decent Action + Great Finish. Cena and Ambrose’s feather-light double-down clothesline made me cringe though.
That Hulk Hogan tribute to Mean Gene Okerlund was a fascinating bit of business. My thoughts on Hulk are this – given a very public revealing of him being shitty, I’d rather he wasn’t around and left, if anything, to nostalgia. There isn’t really any way to use him “properly” or even ask for forgiveness because it is nearly impossible to have an authentic moment on WWE TV. So the issue will dangle in the wind, and the Wrestling Fan will occasionally have to put up with this awkwardness until Hulkamania is officially down for the count.
The promo was nice though.
Chad Gable & Bobby Roode vs. The Revival was a fun match with a dumb finish. Gable did that thing where he takes crazy bumps (that fall on his gut on the top rope!) and does crazy things (the Chaos Theory! always!) and Revival did that thing where they tag team wrestle well.
Elias vs. Baron Corbin had an ELIAS PLANCHA but it also had a stretch of Baron Corbin offense and we should just be past that by now as a society.
It was not a good day at the office for Braun Strowman. Not only did his return to TV get a moderate at best pop, he cut a near-legendary bad promo while hurdling through the lack of safety net that is live television. This appeared to be an experiment with unscripted promos, maybe, but I also don’t know. Either way, Braun was awkward – long periods of silence and when it wasn’t that, it was the most basic of words. Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar didn’t seem impressed: “That’s the best you got?” Not that they did any better, to be honest. Garbage segment that needed to deliver and didn’t.
Alexa Bliss‘s A Moment of Bliss has potential but the two chairs on stage makes me feel uncomfortable for everybody. The reaction to Ronda Rousey praising and asking for a match with Sasha Banks being silence with the exception of a smattering of boos was a real bummer of a moment, and then Nia Jax came out being all sassy and yeah I hated this segment.
That is, of course, with the exception of Sasha calling Nia a BITCH and storming to the ring to start a match with her.
The match was solid big gal/small gal stuff with a crowd that wasn’t buying it, though it was also a fascinating showcase for Sasha who was wrestling like she was auditioning for KUSHIDA’s spot in New Japan. She bumped like the modern day Sabu she is, highlighted by her just breaking in half when she was dropped onto the top turnbuckle. The rana from the apron to the floor that ended with Nia remaining on the apron and Sasha just flopping to the floor was something I can’t stop thinking about: did Nia just stay there, or is Sasha crazy enough to think that would be an awesome bump to do?
Either way, SASHA WINS! I liked the gorilla press slam in the crowd too.
Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins Falls Count Anywhere was fun stuff – it was no Gargano/Ciampa, but Seth was actually throwing punches and there were some neat spots like Seth bodyslamming Dean onto a table in the crowd that just exploded on impact. Way better than their IC Title match, though also a lot easier.
And then Lashley went after Seth.
SMACKDOWN (1/8/19)
Let me talk to you about mesmerizing television.
It’s 6:59PM. Something or another just got resolved on Law & Order: SVU and the WWE Forever intro plays. Suddenly, Daniel Bryan is staring at you from the concession stands. And he is cutting a promo on high fructose corn syrup. And he is cutting a promo on merchandise. And he is throwing food at fans and yelling FICKLE at them. And he is walking down the staircase of an arena picking out random fans and screaming in their face, “IMPOTENT! CHANGE IT.”
SmackDown Live is mesmerizing television.
The R-Truth sneak attack was awesome too. Bryan and Truth had a fun little TV squash that ended deliciously decisively. I liked the way that sounded.
Then Rey Mysterio & Mustafa Ali vs. Samoa Joe & Andrade “Cien” Almas happened as a reminder of just how good professional wrestling can be. What a wild, awesome match on paper – and it delivered! Ali vs. Joe early was fun stuff, Rey vs. Almas was unbelievable, Almas hit possibly his quickest lightning fast back elbow, and Ali took a fallaway slam into the commentary table.
Oh yeah, and Rey Mysterio tried what I am going to assume was a monkey flip which Almas blocked with a handstand, then Almas tried to lift Rey up but Rey used the laws of physics to use his momentum on the lift to follow through with a freakin’ Canadian Destroyer. They cut the Ali beatdown and there were a few timing issues but otherwise this was a tremendous match.
It would’ve made sense for Aiden English to sneak attack Rusev for Shinsuke Nakamura, no? Either way, Rusev and Nak had another very simple promo/angle that I was into. The red-and-black Nakamura aggressively screaming at Rusev then smiling and walking away was maybe my favorite Nakamura. And then he Kinshasa’d him and that was confirmed.
Here’s what I have to say about The Usos vs. The Bar – it was another banger.
Daniel Bryan‘s promo towards the end of the show was once again mesmerizing television. He’s so angry and psychotic and believable. I know he’s good but still didn’t know THIS was in him. He’s like Terry Funk and Cactus Jack and William Regal rolled into one.
The whole Shane McMahon and The Miz thing continued this week and though it’s providing a moderate amount of fun I really really enjoy that the only guy in WWE that Shane seems to actually enjoy working with is The Miz. He was practically catatonic trading lines with Daniel Bryan and Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn and even Paige for so long, and now here is Mike Mizanin and you’re reminded Shane’s a natural.
I’d like to propose a boycott of the Triple Threat Match on TV. Keep it on PPV, as folks will go all out in those. But with the timing and performance constraints of TV, every Triple Threat turns into a bunch of empty STUFF. They still TRY and go all out, but it feels cheap – Charlotte Flair doing a moonsault to the floor feels less like a big move and more like some shit she did so you could think it was a good match. Charlotte in particular had a tough go here – she took a back bump directly onto Carmella‘s ribcage, then on that moonsault landed directly on her tailbone.
Heck of a finish though, as they’ll do. And Carmella actually fit right in with these two. Love a Carmella tope, and I dug Becky Lynch‘s top rope legdrop to break the Figure-Eight. Becky vs. Asuka at the Rumble – count me IN.
205 LIVE (1/9/19)
This was a show that started with a 15-minute Noam Dar vs. Tony Nese match. Why? I caught the deadlift northern lights through 30-second skips in the WWE Network App, and that was neat, but otherwise – why?
Cedric Alexander vs. Hideo Itami was good, but 205 Live good – support the brothers, but I’m not going to tell you you need to watch it. They brought the solid heatless wrestling with a lot of elbows and kicks that would’ve been way cooler maybe 3 or 4 years ago and then brought it home with a hot finish that had some nice near falls off a Falcon Arrow on the floor countout tease and a classic schoolboy cradle. Oh yeah, there was a Falcon Arrow on the floor.
NXT (1/9/19)
Based on the opening promo on this week’s show, NXT has got Something Going: Johnny Gargano, Tommaso Ciampa, Ricochet, and Aleister Black are all strong acts and you’ve got Velveteen Dream and Matt Riddle and Undisputed Era all hanging around backstage too.
Speaking of having Something Going: Bianca Belair had another sweet match with Nikki Cross, which appeared to be Cross’ farewell from NXT. These two have a weird chemistry where their collisions feel like an EVENT – they throw bombs, do countout teases, and the crowd is into everything. I liked how Bianca took a sec early on after a Nikki drop-down and was like, “I can handspring backflip out of this.”
Street Profits showed some character in their promo but they should probably wrestle once in a while.
Fabian Aichner and Marcel Barthel teaming together on NXT in addition to NXT UK is very cool. Barthel threw one of the poor job guys into a deadlift Jackhammer from Aichner.
Adam Cole vs. EC3 was a match of some of my least favorite wrestlers, but: they kept it short, kept it moving, and Boby Fish was talking on the outside. War Raiders ran-in post-match and Hanson‘s spin kick was phenomenal, as was Kyle O’Reilly‘s bump on the backbreaker/legdrop.
NXT UK 23 (1/9/19)
Amir Jordan & Kenny Williams actually being a team is a wonderful glitch of building a territory. They had a decent showcase against the unestablished Dan Moloney & Jamie Ahmed but also it wasn’t really that decent because I still don’t care about these moderately spunky fellas.
I loved the presentation of the Toni Storm/Rhea Ripley NXT UK Women’s Title Press Conference. It was just them, a table, Johnny Saint, Sid Scala, and since there were three voices heard asking questions I assume three people sitting beyond view of the camera. The use of this lack of resources was impressive – no crowd awkwardly reacting, no commentators talking over it, no big brawl. Rhea was leaning back in her chair like the most punk-ass little kid and Toni was being all focused and serious. Great stuff.
Isla Dawn vs. Xia Brookside kept it simple with mostly hold-trading and cradles and it ended with a cradle. Nice. Plus Xia did a cool reversal out of a waistlock. Nice. Nigel din’t need to compare it to Johnny Saint vs. Steve Grey, but still – nice.
Then JINNY! attacked Dawn backstage.
NXT UK has done an alright job with the Eddie Dennis/Bomber Dave Mastiff feud – they went with something and stuck with it.
Jordan Devlin is a guy who makes a standing moonsault seem like a legitimate offensive maneuver and I respect that. I like this guy. He squashed Damien Weir and it was very solid. I’d drop the Island’s Call as a finish though.
I really, really liked how Zack Gibson & James Drake went right after Mark Andrews and dropped his ass with a Doomsday Device, but otherwise the tag with Andrews and Flash Morgan Webster was a dime a dozen tag match. Flash is tricky because he kinda sucks but unlike a lot of wrestlers these days kind of has a hook to him and that’s good. For a match that had a guy catch a guy doing a tope suicida and deadlift suplexing him on the floor, I wasn’t enthralled. Maybe that’s on me, maybe that’s on them.
NXT UK 24 (1/9/19)
The entire last half of this show was dedicated to the Moustache Mountain/Gallus 6-man tag and that’s a good thing because it was good.
Before that, Ligero and Joseph Conners had an alright match where Ligero looked at his most comfiest in an NXT UK ring. The springboard tornado DDT actually won this one too.
James Drake actually got to speak in a backstage promo. He’s alright!
Travis Banks squashed Tyson T-Bone and looked OK. Jordan Devlin entered during the match dressed as Banks because they’re tellin a story or something.
Moustache Mountain vs. Gallus was a fun 6-man, though not the must-see match NXT UK needed in this spot. The best parts were the classic stuff – Tyler Bate keeping a bridge going against big Joe Coffey, Bate doing an airplane spin… on big Joe Coffey. I guess Bate vs. Coffey was the goods. They kept to the heel beatdown formula but did a couple different beatdowns and peppered in stuff to keep it interesting. Still not sure if Wolfgang and Mark Coffey are any good, but a fine match.
MAIN EVENT (1/9/19)
No matches this week – EC3 and Lacey Evans had dark matches prior to RAW instead. I’m not sure if those were supposed to air or what. Oh well.
WWE TV Match of the Week: Rey Mysterio & Mustafa Ali vs. Samoa Joe & Andrade “Cien” Almas
WWE TV MVP of the Week: Rey Mysterio
This was quietly a really good week for in-ring wrestling – the RAW 6-man, Roode/Gable vs. Revival, Sasha/Nia, Ambrose/Rollins Falls Count Anywhere, Rey Mysterio Canadian Destroyer tag, The Usos vs. The Bar, and the Becky/Charlotte/Carmella match were all quality TV affairs. SmackDown remains a fun TV show while RAW isn’t as dire as usual but still kind of sucks.
RAW: 5/10
SmackDown: 8/10
205 Live: 5/10
NXT: 6/10
NXT UK: 5/10
