Gorilla Monsoon and Lord Alfred Hayes are on commentary.
1. Tony Garea vs. Iron Mike Sharpe
It’s Iron Mike Sharpe, Canada’s Greatest Athlete. And he is wrestling Tony Garea, who is a stone-jawed looker of a man about 10 years past his prime. This is a match that did not need to go 15 minutes. It flows well early on with Sharpe yelling and running into a bunch of armdrags. There is also a moment where Garea chases Sharpe when he bails and ends up tripping through the ropes and landing neck-first on the apron. Also, it went 15 minutes. *
2. Sivi Afi vs. Bret Hart
“As a singles competitor, this might be Bret Hart’s toughest assignment yet,” speculates the very stupid Lord Alfred Hayes. It’s hard for a Bret Hart match during this period to go below **, so this right here… is about **. He complains of hair pulling, then does it himself – good fun. He is also a dick and beats up Afi for a bit while Hayes and Gorilla wonder on commentary if The Anvil cuts Bret’s hair. A reversed crossbody wins it for Bret. **
3. Tony Atlas vs. King Kong Bundy w/ Bobby “The Brain” Heenan
There is a shirtless guy in the crowd who claps for Bundy. These two have an 80s big guy match, with Bundy mostly dominating but selling for Atlas when he gets in shots. Atlas gets some momentum, headbutts Heenan down, and gets caught with an Avalanche for 3. Bundy does a nice job selling the surprising struggle it took to win, just getting up and not bothering with the 5-count gimmick. **
4. David Sammartino vs. Tiger Chung Lee
Gorilla Monsoon drops the “WWF is the Mecca” diatribe during THIS match – “it’s just a matter of time before all the greats end up here.” This is FF-worthy – it’s OK, embrace the technology. It’s a little over 10 minutes of Tiger Chung Lee offense before David barely kicks out of a pin and then the inside cradle he wins it with only gets a 2-count but the bell rings anyways. DUD
5. WWF World Heavyweight Title: Hulk Hogan [c] vs. Macho Man Randy Savage w/ Elizabeth
WHAT AN EVENT!!! This is organic Hogan/Savage, both guys at once fully formed but on the verge of more superstardom. It’s fun seeing the crowd not react to Savage’s theme music, only to lose there shit when he and Liz emerge. Alfred wonders aloud whether Savage will ever receive a shot again if he loses.
This is a match about atmosphere. It is basic, but it is also in some kind of way some of the most incredible professional wrestling you will ever see. They lockup, Hogan pushes Savage down, the crowd SCREAMS. Savage spits at Hogan and sneaks outside, Hogan spits at Savage and sneaks outside. There is an epic shot where Savage goes up top and looks tall as ever as he looks down on Hogan who is on the floor.
Savage has his offensive stretch, which includes a Boston Garden barricade spot, which is one of the better barricade spots you can do. He drops the elbow but Hogan does a kickout that Savage goes flying off of. Hogan sets up the boot but Savage does a brilliant scramble out of the ring, where Liz uncomfortably pleads with Hogan to back off. Hogan picks her up and puts her down, throws Savage back inside, and soon the ref is bumped and Savage is kneeing Hogan in the back. Savage then jumps off the top with the title belt to Hogan’s head on the floor and asks for a countout… which he receives, but only after Hogan cuts a big bladejob.
It’s a wild, hot match with great timing and spots that’s damaged by Savage acting incensed at not winning the championship on a countout. Still, great stuff while it lasted. Epic stuff post-match too, with Savage stealing the title, Hogan chasing him and CARRYING HIM BACK TO THE RING, then taking his title back. The visual of Hulk’s bloody white tights is horrifyingly beautiful. ****
6. Hercules Hernandez vs. Scott McGhee
Hercules is in full Gladiator garb, which he takes off to reveal… black tights and black boots. There’s actually a really great rope-running sequence here that ends with Hercules doing a leapfrog, pausing in satisfaction, turning around into a dropkick, and then getting hit with like three more dropkicks. Gorilla seems impressed by everybody. Otherwise, McGhee gets a little run but Herc dominates and ends him with a backbreaker. *3/4
7. Leaping Lanny Poffo vs. Jim Neidhart
Girls are SHRIEKING for Poffo’s entrance and his poetry here, just freaking out. This is a fine, straightforward wrestling match with a spot where Poffo gets knocked outside, tries to do a cute slingshot between the bottom/middle ropes back inside, and just gets clobbered by a Neidhart forearm. *1/2
8. Corporal Kirchner vs. Nikolai Volkoff
Did Corporal Kirchner have the easiest gig in wrestling? I know the WWF schedule was rough, but man – guy works like he’s on second at a Rec Center show that didn’t get advertised, but here he is being over as hell in the World Wrestling Federation. The story here is that Nikolai takes a funny bump over the top, Nikolai does a cartwheel, and Nikolai loses when he tries to suplex Kirchner back in and gets rolled up. **
7. Pedro Morales, Davey Boy Smith & Dan Spivey vs. Greg “The Hammer” Valentine, Brutus Beefcake & “Luscious” Jonny Valiant
What a wacky babyface team. Gorilla notes that a one-fall affair is unusual for 6-mans. The match is mostly Davey taking heat and very much not recommended. The ref counts a 3 by Spivey on Valiant where Brutus saves right at 3, but the crowd pops and the ref calls for the bell. “Interesting 6-man tag,” says Gorilla. *
Hogan vs. Savage is obviously worth watching, everything else is completely skippable. 4/10
