Chad Gable is good at wrestling and I know this because he does a rolling koppou kick.
But because he’s good I am disappointed that he lost to Konnor from the Ascension.
And isn’t that one of the great joys of pro wrestling? Wins and losses evoking emotion from the viewer, making them feel it right here. Imagine that last sentence written with me pointing to my heart.
Perhaps Chad Gable will eventually triumph over Konnor from the Ascension.
But my disappointment is not an easily redeemed kind. For it is not filled with an emotion that can quickly be resolved.
When one loses to Konnor from the Ascension, the path to redemption becomes that much harder.
And my disappointment is not an angry disappointment. It is an apathetic disappointment.
As my apathy towards Chad Gable the character will persist.
And this is how a sports entertainer dies.
RAW (9/24/18)
An interesting, fun, and kind of weird show. They actually seemed to be trying! The Denver crowd was game, but they got a show that felt like it mattered – new intro, Steph/HHH, Shield main event, and some strong in-ring stuff.
They also dropped all subtlety and outright admitted Ambrose and McIntyre are acting like chumps, and WWE is one of the only places where dropping subtlety is good because it means they ARE telling the story you thought they were instead of just confusing everybody.
Then there was the circus: Alicia Fox chanting SHANTI, Liv Morgan getting knocked out, Connor’s Cure tears, Konnor (with a K) beating Chad Gable, The Revival working bayface, and Lio Rush jumping around while making Lashley finally click. Plus they might’ve made The Authors of Pain stars.
For a while now RAW has been a monotonous slog so the new intro cued something was afoot. They kept the show feeling like a big deal too – Stephanie and Triple H showing up and announcing The Shield in action, Shield kicking off the show with a promo, Dolph Ziggler teasing an Ambrose heel turn.
And then FINN BALOR wrestled. How exciting! And it was actually a really good match between him and Jinder Mahal, as they brought the classic solid WWF wrestling (i.e.: taking things slow, heel beating with a few chinlocks, exciting baby comeback) that with this patient crowd got way over. I wish either guy felt like they mattered just a little bit but this worked. Bayley tripping Jinder as revenge for Sunil Singh tripping Balor was a tremendous spot too.
Alicia Fox sitting down cross-legged next to Jinder Mahal shouting “SHANTI” = another Alica Fox classic. This woman has nine lives and she makes the most of every one.
The story of the Bella Twins/Natalya vs. Riott Squad match was the uncomfortable scene after Brie Bella kicked Liv Morgan in the head and legit knocked her out for a moment. For all I know this was the greatest match of all time but it’ll be remembered for that and the other uncoordinated Brie spots which were highlighted by Riott looking like she was gonna choke somebody.
Riott rushing to Liv’s side after the pin got me emotional – reminds you of the risks being taken in between these cherished ropes.
The Connor’s Cure deal was swell. You’ve got 3 and a half hours on Monday nights, better you add some kind of assistance to the cure for cancer than a cruiserweight match or some bullshit.
Konnor beat Chad Gable and I think I talked about that earlier.
Look I know it’s 2018 but the Dolph & Drew vs. Revival match really could’ve really used a heel or a babyface. There was nice intensity between Dolph and Dawson at the start, then you had Dawson yelling “BREAK IT! BREAK IT!” to silence and Dash taking heat also to silence.
They picked this sucker up once Dawson hit the Tiger Driver though and they busted out the PowerPlex though. McIntyre chopping the post, Dash tornado DDT’ing him off the barricade, and the deadlift by Dash out of the Fameasser miss followed by the Doomsday Device near fall was a HOT segment of professional wrestling.
I liked Elias’ match with Bobby Lashley, though Lio Rush hyping up Lashley was still the best part. The decision to do that wasn’t even that hard – it’s such easy wrestling. Just try you savages. TRY!!!
Elias vs. Bobby was all about Elias methodically working over Lashley’s leg to the point where there were BOB-BY chants. That’s right – BOB-BY chants. For Bobby Lashley. God bless Lio Rush and special credit to Elias.
Lio Rush again got the chance to shine and I have to say Parkour Jimmy Hart wasn’t what I was expecting but it’s a hell of a gimmick.
Meanwhile, Ember Moon and Nia Jax did a promo with Ember congratulating Nia for her People’s Choice Award nomination and it was one of the worst things I have ever seen in professional wrestling. It was like the singularity of sports entertainment bullshit.
Jax throwing around Fox was good though, even if they forgot how to do a neckbreaker.
I’d be into Drake Maverick being buddies with Constable Corbin then staging a hostile takeover due to Corbin’s growing incompetence.
The Shield vs. Corbin/AoP was good, mostly because it was just nice to see a Shield 6-man again. This wasn’t some Team Hell No banger but it was good TV. It’s also at the very least interesting to see two new guys put in one of their first big spots, and I’m thinking AoP delivered here.
A Reigns/Rezar staredown getting HEAT was really cool. The bulk of the match was Rollins taking a beating, highlighted by an absolutely massive Deep Six from Corbin. Ambrose’s hot tag was phenomenal, with Corbin right there for everything. The finish was great: Reigns hit Rezar with an out-of-nowhere Superman punch which included an absolutely amazing fall to the outside by Rezar. Seth hit the curb stomp and threw topes at every god damn person like it was his first night on the job and he was just EXCITED, then Dean hit Dirty Deeds and a tope and Reigns hit the spear.
SHIELD: WE HAVEN’T JUMPED THE SHARK YET
SMACKDOWN (9/25/18)
This was just a fun wrestling show. TruthTV, Becky running around being a superstar, Orton and Nakamura being dicks, and Joe showing up at AJ’s house are enough angles for the win but the wrestling was good too. Plus MILWAUKEE.
The show opened with R-Truth and Carmella doing MizTV parody TruthTV and between the hot RAW and their TRUTH TV chants, WWE needs to make Denver their new home. R-Truth is one of maybe 10 guys in this entertainment company that is actually funny. The dance breaks were so dumb they worked.
The Miz vs. R-Truth was awesome. Love a wrestling match based around characters, just a classic goodie and a classic baddie. You had Truth pausing to dance, Miz pausing to gloat and do YES chants when he got Truth down, and Carmella randomly moonwalking. Miz ended it with an incredible, incredible Knee+ after a THUMB TO THE EYE.
This Becky Lynch thing might be taking off and I’m into it. Even if it doesn’t, at least they’re trying. The photo shoot attack is a wrestling classic, something that happens only when things have gone past the point of mere wrestling, when things have gotten… personal.
Big E vs. Sheamus was WILD, a fun TV match where these two big boys just went AT IT with non-stop big spots. Spinal stenosis Sheamus took an armdrag to the floor and a powerbomb and I don’t know what to think. And it ended with an all-timer Brouge kick. Sometimes ya wish hosses just hossed and didn’t do a bunch of STUFF but there was too much fun stuff here to complain.
One of my top 5 least favorite WWE tropes is a wrestler throwing to a produced video package during their own promo and the Aiden English promo had this happen TWICE, but this whole Rusev Day thing finally got compelling with MILWAUKEE. Corey Graves’ absolute GLEE – “WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS PHILLIPS? DO YOU THINK IT’S SOMETHING SELACIOUS?!” put this over the top
Asuka/Naomi vs. Mandy/Sonya was a solid tag. Loved the spot used to setup the Asuka beatdown where Mandy missed a knee but Sonya followed with a spear. The IIconics commentary reaction to the loss – “SONYAAAAA” – was great.
Tye Dillinger as guy used to get heat off of would work a lot better if he wasn’t on TV only once every few months, but he and Shinsuke Nakamura had a nice little match highlighted by Tye throwing chops with everything he had. The Orton interference and beatdown followed by a nasty Kinshasa from Nakamura was a nice way of establishing Orton and Nak are just bully pieces of shit.
Of course Orton looked cool as hell in the next segment saying he attacked Tye because the “Perfect 10” stuff just pissed him off
The 5-minute Becky Lynch vs. Lana match was a fine way to increase Becky’s edge and let the crowd chant Milwaukee.
The show ended with the AJ Styles/Samoa Joe contract signing that wasn’t to be as Joe appeared on the Titan Tron at AJ Styles’ house. This was so campy and dumb: “This dude’s at my house – WHAT’RE YOU DOING AT MY HOUSE?” If they can give AJ an edge I’m for it, but I’m not sure anyone involved really wants to do that. This is one of those classic WWE feuds where either guy really can’t lose – Joe because it’d cement him as just another AJ went around the loop with and AJ because he’d be losing for his family like a bitch.
MIXED MATCH CHALLENGE (9/25/18)
The shenanigans this week were a little more fun but WWE going full comedy is like when conservatives do comedy – they’re trying too hard and the root cause of the humor doesn’t have a moral intention.
Country Dominance vs. Mahalicia – There was a push-up contest and Alicia Fox banter. Lashley won with a suplex I think.
The Fabulous Truth vs. Awe-ska – There were TruthTV chants, Asuka hamming it up, and moonwalking. It was OK.
205 LIVE (9/26/18)
Noam Dar vs. Lio Rush was a stupid boring match and Brian Kendrick tapping a guy out in 10 seconds was good.
This show as really about Mustafa Ali vs. Hideo Itami, and it was another story of two guys just busting their ass in front of blazing hot apathy. Ali catching Itami’s kick early, screaming “I’ve been waiting for this!” and spin kicking him in the face was tremendous. It had your usual slow weak-ass early cruiserweight stuff – there’s nothing wrong with doing holds, but it is so blatantly what nobody wants from these guys every single week. But they got it moving, Itami beat some ass, the crowd bought in, and Ali’s comebacks were awesome. Them aping the Tanahashi/Okada High Fly Flow finish before the double countout was AWESOME.
NXT (9/26/18)
There was zero must-see here but it was a breezy solid show and most of the roster seems occupied – thank you, NXT.
Undisputed Era as entitled bros is only going to click when they’re in front of a crowd that doesn’t respect them and think they’re just the best. So the opening promo with Regal wasn’t much.
Speaking of things not clicking, the Johnny Gargano losing himself thing is still going on. Kairi Sane was able to move from spunky underdog to badass without becoming a dipshit – take note, Johnny Wrestling.
Lars Sullivan vs. a differently-named Vordell Walker (!) had a couple fun throws by Lars on a game Vordell. EC3 ran-in and threw some crappy left hands.
Street Profits vs. The Mighty established that Shane Thorne can sell a KO punch good. Not sure I followed the chains story. It was a passable tag with nobody standing out except Ford, who was impressive as always.
Kairi Sane beat Vanessa Borne and now it’s Kairi Sane vs. Shayna Baszler for the NXT Women’s Title at Evolution.
Tommaso Ciampa vs. Otis Dozovic wasn’t Ric Flair vs. Ricky Morton but was a successful undercard guy vs. champ match and a win-win for both guys: Otis shows he can do more, Ciampa shows he can play heel champ beyond big TakeOver matches. The Otis lariat near fall was very nice.
MAE YOUNG CLASSIC 2018 – EPISODE 4 (9/26/18)
1. Mae Young Classic – Round 1: Rachel Evers vs. Hiroyo Matsumoto
A Round 1 match where both came out looking better. They brought the physicality and that physicality kept the crowd engaged for what was a longer match by Round 1 standards. LADY GODZILLA working heel was good stuff. ***
2. Mae Young Classic – Round 1: Jessie Elaban vs. Taynara Conti
This wasn’t quite ready for prime time, but I’m into developmental judo throws over developmental bodyslams. *
3. Mae Young Classic – Round 1: Nicole Matthews vs. Isla Dawn
Nicole Matthews looks pissed off when she walks to the ring and I am into that. She beat some ass and Isla Dawn being a witch was interesting but it had quite a few real dead spots. *3/4
4. Mae Young Classic – Round 1: Io Shirai vs. Xia Brookside
God damn, the Io Shirai introduction – complete with the video, I-O chants, and commentary putting her over huge – felt like Kobashi was coming to the WWF in his prime. This was a pitch perfect introduction match. Xia went at Io and threw elbows, Io landed on her feet out of a headscissors and milked the reaction, and then Io dominated with a bunch of fun stuff while Xia peppered in her spunk and it rocked. ***1/4
MAIN EVENT (9/26/18)
At long last, No Way Jose has returned to WWE Main Event. And he’s got Zack Ryder along with him, in a Main Event Dream Match against Mojo Rawley and Mike Kanellis. Can’t say there was much here but signature spots were hit and the crowd was warmed up.
Tyler Breeze is just a classic utility guy these days – not a heel, not a face, just a guy that can go in the situation they put him in. I think that might be a good spot. Maybe. There was a dumb spot here where Crews jumped off the turnbuckle backwards into a dropkick, otherwise this was your usual decent but meaningless Main Event match.
This is the third week in a row Crews has won with a frog splash.
WWE TV Match of the Week: Big E vs. Sheamus or that Shield 6-man
WWE TV MVP of the Week: Becky Lynch
A step up. RAW had better wrestling and was actually interesting and SmackDown was just plain fun.
RAW: 7/10
SmackDown: 7/10
205 Live: 5/10
NXT: 6/10
