Shota Umino & Yuya Uemura vs. Ren Narita & Yota Tsuji
Yota Tsuji went from looking like Yoshihiro Takayama’s bastard son to a handsome star quarterback in only a few months’ time. He’s also very much looking like the future of New Japan, this big bastard, and I quite enjoyed Shota taking the fight to him to prove that he’s not giving up his spot as the one and only future ace. All four guys just beat the shit out of each other and I had a blast. Shota with the picture-perfect Arn Anderson Spinebuster got a big pop out of me. **1/2
Chase Owens vs. Akihito Yoshida
Yes, this is the kind of Sunday Night Heat midcard singles match randomness that I need on my Road To shows. Chase Owens is pretty good at playing the crafty vet cutting off the younger upstart, and this match had a lot of that. I also just learned that this guy is 28 years old and I am greatly amused by this piece of information. They went deep into reversal mode for the finish and judging by how telegraphed and slow it all looked, I’m thinking little Akihito ain’t quite there yet. Parts of this were quite allright though. **1/2
Togi Makabe, Michael Elgin, David Finlay & Toa Henare vs. Bad Luck Fale, Tama Tonga, Tanga Loa & Taiji Ishimori
I will never not be amazed by Tama Tonga’s dropkick. It truly is his best asset. This was a match were all of the wrestling was completely fine but not good enough to keep me from checking my phone for the latest tweet from Hairy Wrestling Fan about how nice Colt Cabana is. I can’t get myself to care about 75% of the people in there, but they had the decency to keep things short and sweet. **1/4
Hirooki Goto & YOSHI-HASHI vs. Taichi & Yoshinobu Kanemaru
There is a spot in this match that is simultaneously the apex of 2018 thigh-slap wrestling and the manifestation of all of my worst wrestling-related fears. YOSHI-HASHI goes to hit his reverse enzuigiri, but Kanemaru ducks under and YOSHI still slaps the leg. I have been waiting for something hilarious/tragic like this to happen for ages and it’s so fitting for it to come up in a YOSHI-HASHI match. Other than that, I quite liked the Goto/Taichi action with Dangerous T bringing the stiff kicks. Their title match could be a lot of fun. **1/4
Tetsuya Naito, EVIL, SANADA & BUSHI vs. Minoru Suzuki, Takashi Iizuka, El Desperado & TAKA Michinoku
Tetsuya Naito and Minoru Suzuki have the weirdest chemistry in wrestling. Their interactions and character work are of the highest order, but their actual wrestling is mostly terrible. They just do not click in the ring. At all. Naito fits best against opponents that can work fast and bump their asses off and Suzuki is just not that guy. Here’s another fun fact: the crowd still buys Iizuka as Hanibal Lecter unleashed and it’s kind of heart-warming. Outside of the Naito/Suzuki awkwardness, this was pretty fun. **3/4
Kenny Omega, Kota Ibushi & Yujiro Takahashi vs. Tomohiro Ishii, Toru Yano & Will Ospreay
This was pretty swell for such a random-looking 6-man tag match. Just a snappy mix of disparate ingredients that all work well: Ibushi/Ospreay doing high-speed gymnastics, Toru Yano comedy, Kenny Omega comedy, Ishii being a badass, etc. That 6-man hairpull segment was true indie sleaze greatness and the finale of Kenny being unable to hairpull the bald Ishii had me in damn stitches. Sometimes, the most effective way to build up a title match is to have two guys beat the hell out of each other, sometimes it’s to have a high-flying Osaka Pro-Lite comedy match. WRESTLING! ***
Hiroshi Tanahashi & Juice Robinson vs. Kazuchika Okada & Beretta
Half of this was everyone fucking around and leading the crowd into every possible chant, the other half was an extended attempt at getting Beretta over as a potential challenger for Juice. I actually dug all of it, even it was more of a glorified house show main event than a full-on attempt at tag team wrestling greatness like the Golden Lovers tag match from yesterday. Lil Kazu and Trent working as half-assed heels was amusing – loved Beretta telling Red Shoes he should probably DQ Okada for his random nutshots.
Beretta isn’t anywhere close to Juice in terms of natural charisma and appeal, but the guy can work and he had some solid wrasslin’ with the US champ. Wouldn’t mind if NJPW pulled the trigger on that title match. Tanahashi in hot tag superhero mode is always fascinating: the guy is broken down to the point that everyone has to slow down to eat his offense, yet he’s so over and lovable that it still works – in a weird 80’s WWF kinda way. ***1/4
