Things in WWE, like with any pop culture thing, are temporary.
But WWE keeps on moving.
So at any given time there are things on the pulse, things long passed but still clinging along, things about to break.
They continue writing forward while simultaneously ignoring and endlessly paying tribute to the past.
Monday night on RAW, Michael Cole called The Ascension “tag team specialists.”
The Ascension.
Why? How?
I’m certainly not going to call Curt Hawkins a singles specialists. Who is falling for this?
But then I thought – eh.
It’s temporary.
Maybe it would be better if WWE tightened things up. Maybe it would be better if they treated The Ascension as the jobbers they were and stopped relying on them as a team that’s supposed to build-up a new team that won’t be built up because the team they’re beating was never built up in the first place.
Maybe.
In the end, WWE is fleeting – it’s fun while it lasts, and if not – hey, it’s fine. Find something else to do.
Or don’t.
The Ascension are tag team specialists. It works for the new guy watching. The other guy will forgive it.
Onto this week of TV.
RAW (9/10/18)
This didn’t feel backwards like a lot of other recent RAW’s but I can’t say it was any good either.
Happy for Renee Young. Every once in a while, the grossness of the past and low expectations of the present reluctantly provide us good things.
The whole “balance of power shifting” thing Braun, Drew and Dolph were talking about in their opening promo would be a cool thing if they actually ran with it. Let’s make these guys and all the heels on RAW some big-ass nWo group. Braun’s Hogan, Dolph’s Hall, McIntyre’s Nash. Give Elias the DDP role. Let’s sell some tickets.
All for a Shield beatdown, anywhere anytime. Fine start to Monday Night RAW.
I am into Nikki Bella doing spears and punches and a SPINEBUSTER. Her match with Ruby Riott was very much a stupid wrestling TV match but it had its highlights.
Big Show donning the tights once again to do a promo for the Connor’s Cure charity was like the fifth best part of the Connor’s Cure charity video. Good on ya, WWE.
With Drake Maverick at their side, The Authors of Pain are doing good squash matches. Poor local fella Ronnie Ace took a fallaway slam on his HEAD.
Triple H promo = BORRRINGGG. Love The Game, but the guy seems tired.
The B-Team vs. McIntyre/Ziggler tag this week was about as OK as the tag last week, though it didn’t have Bo Dallas throwing hands. These matches are just the most basic stuff, and not like good classic basic wrestling, but just boring bland basic. There were a couple decent near falls by Bo I guess.
I simultaneously enjoyed and shook my head at Baron Corbin and The Shield teaching us what are probably fake facts about local New Orleans law. There is absolutely no logic in this whole Shield/Corbin/cops stuff, but I do love the canon of Dean Ambrose being related to a Sheriff.
Kevin Owens quitting two weeks ago then getting re-heated up in a squash screams a sudden change of plans. It was a nice high energy squash of poor Tyler Breeze who took a nasty apron powerbomb, but the Kevin Owens act needs a lot more than, “I have been made to be a joke for the last two years and now the leaders of RAW are letting me do whatever I want so I am going to wrestle Tyler Breeze.” Owens kicking Breeze out of the pose before the bell was very nice though.
RAW running videos for the SmackDown matches on the go-home shows before a PPV is new, right?
Roode/Gable vs. Ascension was a tag team match. If Roode isn’t turning on Gable in a week or two, give these fellas some sketch comedy or something.
I enjoyed so much about Ronda Rousey’s first few wrestling matches, but I did not enjoy Ronda Rousey reaching from the apron for Natalya to tag her, nor did I enjoy Alexa Bliss and Mickie James working over Ronda Rousey like this was any old tag match. Not yet, man. Not yet. The Hart Attack was nice though.
Braun Strowman wrecking stuff backstage was fun. Hope Riott Squad told him to back off their gimmick though.
The momentarily returning Mick Foley can turn it on, BOY. Him bantering with Elias was good and he brought it home with a strong promo. It still tickles me how Elias is The Guy they rely on for these segments. Is he going to moderate a Triple H/Undertaker Face-to-Face before Super Show-Down?
Finn Balor and Elias work well together, outside of that completely whiffed knee. They had themselves a good solid TV match that got over.
LIO RUSH WITH BOBBY LASHLEY HAHHAHA YES!!! Such good promos. Lashley may yet be saved. Starting to have visions of Lio Rush talking down to Roman Reigns as Lashley heads towards a Universal Championship match TLC.
The Reigns/Braun brawl at the end was the usual go-home BS the WWE books when they’ve got nothing left. It was the most passable possible thing. The bump off commentary was sold HUGE even though it wasn’t all that crazy.
SMACKDOWN (9/11/18)
Not a bad show but man, most of the wrestling felt more lifeless than usual.
Jeff Hardy is such a cheesy promo but everybody goes along with it because he’s awesome. “And after that, I’m going to straight to hell ENJOY THE SHOWWW!” – all-timer quote. Not positive about the wisdom of him going 20 a week before a Hell in a Cell match when he looks uncomfortable while wrestling, but here we are.
Hardy vs. Nakamura was a decent match that got time but it all felt very half-speed, and not in a way where they were being pros and taking their time. It just felt like the usual match WWE does at half-speed. Had a real awkward spot during commercial where Nakamura bumped for a shoulder tackle that was just Jeff hugging him. The kick dodges at the end followed by the Twist of Fate was very nice, as was Jeff’s crazy crotching off of the inevitable Randy Orton appearance.
AJ Styles cut a promo on Samoa Joe while sitting on stairs in an empty arena. Styles is one of those guys who’s mic work would get a lot more hate if he hadn’t had so many good matches. It’s not terrible, but it’s almost extra generic.
Samoa Joe meanwhile cut a promo where he read a bedtime story called “Night Night, AJ” and you see, that’s a very cool thing.
Sonya Deville is good at emoting with her face that the professional wrestling match she is in is very serious. Other than that, her big match with Charlotte Flair didn’t go so well. It was another match that got time, but not sure it was any better for it. A few spots didn’t work at all too. The post-match Becky Lynch Dressed as a Fan attack was very good though. Hope she pops up under a La Luchadora match next week.
KRAMER KINGSMAN!!!
Rusev Day vs. The Bar bummed me out. Didn’t hit my high expectations, but also didn’t even hit my expectations. Highlights were this being Aiden English’s best showcase since he wrestled Orton a year ago (even if he and Sheamus had some ugly moments) and Rusev trading strikes with The Bar. Otherwise, a very very very OK match.
R-Truth vs. Almas! R-Truth is having a low key run this year, working all the big stars and having fine quick matches that aren’t just squashes. Need an R-Truth vs. Daniel Bryan match next. Loved the spot where Truth did the splits, then Almas did a handspring which seemed like a setup for a dance but he just threw both his knees full speed at Truth’s face.
Remember when Asuka had a 2-year undefeated streak and won the Royal Rumble and won the Mixed Match Challenge and beat Nia Jax and then she lost to Charlotte and said “YOU… WERE… READY FOR ASUKA!!” and then she lost to Carmella twice in a row only to disappear while Carmella lost to Charlotte and now she’s back doing sketch comedy with Naomi about how she doesn’t understand English? Good times.
Maryse vs. Brie Bella could’ve used a little more momma vs. momma ass-kicking but was probably best case scenario. Loved Bryan just lighting up Miz after he hurt Brie.
205 LIVE (9/11/18)
I dunno, man.
Buddy Murphy vs. Gran Metalik didn’t reach my admittedly way-too-high expectations but still had some cool spots like Metalik’s big moonsault to the floor and Murphy’s powerbomb catch followed by a deadlift sit-out powerbomb. Amazing that they flew out Lince and Kalisto to enter with Metalik and just go, “OK good luck man!” and leave.
Good to see Mustafa Ali back but a 205 Live squash is a 205 Live squash – it’s nice to see some cool moves, but sometimes ya just gotta beat some ass.
Appreciate the 205 folks bringing up Drake’s new role on RAW. When’s someone gonna bring up Gulak hanging out with Braun though? I’d be up for Braun running in on 205 Live as a favor and demolishing Cedric or Kalisto or something.
Lio Rush still having to feud with Noam Dar is sad. WWE Noam Dar is one of the most miscast babyfaces of all time.
Cedric/Tozawa vs. Gallagher/Gulak kind of made me sad. It has four really capable guys who have just been whipped by the WWE system for two years and are now here having this match where there’s the occasional cool thing but it’s just so lifeless and hard to care about.
205 Live matches always come through with some good stuff though, and Gulak upped the viciousness and Tozawa the intensity at the finish. Liked Gulak and Gallagher isolating Cedric on the outside then ending Tozawa. But ehhhh. More a story match than anything but not a very compelling story.
NXT (9/12/18)
This show had four real short matches but they all accomplished more than anything else in-ring this week.
Cezar Benoni having a mustache means he is good now. He and Adrian Jaoude took on the returning Danny Burch & Oney Lorcan and it was a fine 5-minute match – liked Jaoude’s arm trap thing, liked Oney doing his thing. Outside of The Legionnaires vibes, I am into Bononi and Jaoude as a team.
“Thank you, Tommaso – it felt really good to be back in the main event of TakeOver.” Ciampa’s promos right now remind me of a less strung out 2009 Randy Orton.
Shayna Baszler does the best squashes in the biz and this show had one. Baslzer, The Bludgeon Brothers, and if they keep up their Monday form The Authors of Pain are the top 3 Squash Masters of 2018.
Lars Sullivan vs. Raul Mendoza was a delightful little 3-minute wrestling match. Loved Raul’s DETERMINED look as he charged to the ring. Also loved Lars clubbing Raul with all his might.
The Forgotten Son’s as Trump’s forgotten people that will probably end up screwed by the system anyways because of their stupid gimmick is a good bit.
Enjoyed Kassius Ohno complaining about not getting opportunity while his gut hung out of his t-shirt. BRO.
Nikki Cross vs. Bianca Belair was 5 minutes long but a match with PERSONALITY. Wonder how big Triple H’s erection was when he saw Belair do the press slam for the first time.
MAE YOUNG CLASSIC 2018 – EPISODE 2 (9/12/18)
The thing about these WWE tournament Round 1 matches is that they aren’t very good. They serve a purpose as introductions and showcases, and they give the losers a little experience, but there is nothing on this show I’m going to say anybody needs to check out.
1. Mae Young Classic – Round 1: Deonna Purrazzo vs. Priscilla Kelly
Kelly’s 30 seconds of offense didn’t quite work but Deonna Purrazzo is the truth. A lot like the Tegan Nox match last week, in that as a complete match it was nothing much but the winner’s performance was excellent. Dug how Kelly’s handshake refusal set the tone, and then Deonna showed off her stuff before the Fujiwara armbar. **
2. Mae Young Classic – Round 1: Aerial Monroe vs. Zeuxis
The story of messing with a black girl’s hair started this off well enough but it ended up being a match that did not work. Just a glaring styles clash. Neither seemed to be on the same page early and the later stuff didn’t save it. The Spanish Fly was cool, I guess. Shocked Monroe lost in front of her daughter but the shot of her crying in Cedric’s arm was wild. Still, DUD
3. Mae Young Classic – Round 1: Kacy Catanzaro vs. Reina Gonzalez
It was very cool to see Kacy Catanzaro do her thing for the first time. The climb-up-the-ring-post entrance, slingshot HIGH-ANGLE headscissors, and second-rope springboard dropkick were incredible. It always feels a little off when they do these big vs. small matches and the big one doesn’t just try and wreck the small one early, but still. A fun showing. *1/2
4. Mae Young Classic – Round 1: Ashley Rayne vs. Mercedes Martinez
This was two capable wrestlers having a not very good match. Mercedes did some suplexes and that was about it. Rayna tried to babyface it up but the crowd wasn’t feeling it. *1/2
MAIN EVENT (9/12/18)
Ember Moon vs. Dana Brooke was honestly the best either has looked in a long time. Very much a formula Main Event match, but considering they got like 5 minutes there was time to shine a bit.
Zack Ryder and Apollo Crews had one of those “hey, we’re both good guys, I’m gonna nod and clap after our first exchange and then we’re gonna up the intensity a bit” matches. It was pretty good. Ryder busted out his apron dropkick. He does it almost every match I think, but he’s so rarely on WWE TV that it still feels like he “busted” it out. Like 3 people chanted This is Awesome. Apollo won with a FROG SPLASH. Was cool to see these guys do their thing and run near falls and stuff because they rarely do.
WWE TV Match of the Week: Raul Mendoza vs. Lars Sullivan
WWE TV MVP of the Week: Deonna Purrazzo
This was the weakest in-ring week for the Federation in a while. The shows themselves were OK. Very down the middle. Not great, but not completely dumb. You know – peak WWE.
RAW: 5/10
SmackDown: 6/10
205 Live: 5/10
NXT: 6/10
