Sometimes I think too many people are talking about wrestling at once. All the while I’m talking about it too.
There is this need to pump out new content consistently to stay relevant in the big-ass sea of the Internet. That means there is less discussion of the merits of something and more whether it was one of two things: good or bad. I’m guilty of it as much as anybody. I rank matches for godssakes.
Some stuff just doesn’t need to be talked about though. Sometimes it just is. There are only so many ways to say the same thing about the billions of hours of content on any given medium. Sometimes you can just think, “Huh – not for me.”
But everybody lately (me included!) needs some hot take on the State of the WWE when you can just say “Eh this stuff sucks sometimes” and move on.
Anyways, I’m going to write like 5 pages on this week’s WWE TV.
RAW (7/23/18)
Woooo this show still sucks.
Are we gonna kick off some angles for the Biggest Party of the Summer or are we just running with the same stuff we’ve been running with for the past few months?
Cause that stuff kind of sucked.
There is not a thing like Vincent Kennedy McMahon uttering, “Welcome everyone to Monday Night RAW!” It took me back momentarily to a place where I found myself engaged with this television program, a place where I had a fondness for it. Or perhaps it just took me back to a time when life was easier, when responsibilities were relegated to getting past some Sonic the Hedgehog level or thinking about dinner.
Then the rest of the show happened.
The all-women’s Evolution PPV is a very cool thing to happen, with all the glare of WWE’s “careful wokeness” that we have come to expect hovering overhead. I fully expect this to be a blast of a show and thought every guy on the roster talking it up throughout the show was a nice touch.
B-Team vs. Wyatt & Hardy for the RAW Tag Titles was alright but not anything that warranted this feud continuing. Not sure that finish came off as good as it might have seemed on paper.
“What’re you doing in your gear?” – what a brutal burial of Chad Gable by Finn Balor. The Finn’s Funhouse thing was WEIRD. Is Baron Corbin calling Balor a child, or is there some other deep meaning we are supposed to obtain from this?
Not sure why Sasha Banks & Bayley suddenly need to be a tag team or why they are apparently in love now, but here we are. I’m into a squash match for them at least. The running knee to Bank Statement was a nice finish.
Legit LOL’d at the cut from Braun Strowman raising his arms to the crowd doing NOTHING. Hope that sent a god damn message to the brass in the back – if Braun isn’t over, you’ve got problems.
The Kevin Owens promo on Braun was good but there’s such little credibility to this guy anymore. Had some vibes of Eddie Guerrero’s epic rant on The Rock almost 16 years ago to the day, but Owens is also such a whiny fucker.
The stuff with Jinder was so stupid too. Owens vows revenge on Braun pushing him off the top of a steel cage by… having Jinder Mahal help Braun relax? WTF?
Kind of mentally threw in the towel when they followed all this up with Authors of Pain mic work. Just what this show needed, let me tell you. Titus needs to drop Apollo and hook up with the Authors ASAP.
Tyler Breeze is angling for that job for life with these Mojo Rawley matches. More fun bumping by him here. What was with the end of that mid-match Bobby Roode interview though? How does this micromanaged show still produce so much awkwardness?
Balor vs. McIntyre was definitely the first 5 minutes of a wrestling match. Sweet tilt-a-whirl DDT.
The Balor/Rollins vs. McIntyre/Ziggler tag follow-up was a fine match by some capable professional wrestlers stuck on a crappy professional wrestling show. Beatdown, hot tag, cool spots – you know the drill. Lots of Seth towards the end, which isn’t a bad thing – when guy gets revving the wrestling gets good.
Ember Moon vs. Liv Morgan was another nice bump for the Eclipse.
Burger King, Dollar General, Snickers – the WWE marketing department is strong.
Look, Roman vs. Bob Part 2 was a fine match. I thought it was better than the pretty good Extreme Rules match, though that might have just been the card placement. Reigns hasn’t been lighting it up in-ring since WrestleMania, but all the fundamentals of 2017 Roman Reigns are still there – he just has a glare of apathy hanging over him, and he’s much better in matches where he is selling most of the time versus these Superfights.
Lashley meanwhile needs more smoke and mirrors than WWE seems willing to give him. It’s weird.
This felt like a Big Match, the crowd was into it, and all the big moments were done well. I also freakin’ loved Bob’s stagger before Roman speared him at the finish.
But it was no mere match. It was just one more step on a journey. A transparent, fake journey to a conclusion that nobody seems to want or even understand anymore. The match was fine, but it was more than a match – it was a message. It was a secret, coded call: Shhhh. Don’t get too invested.
Brock vs. Roman Part Infinity could be good. It should be good. But naw. It’s just stupid. Nearly everything on RAW since WrestleMania has been a god damn waste – little character development, regressions for too many guys. All we’ve got is Constable Corbin, a B-Team and Dolph Ziggler push, and more of the same from Roman Reigns. Incredible.
SMACKDOWN (7/24/18)
Meanwhile, I am beginning to enjoy Tuesday nights again.
They have all the usual problems with WWE presentation that folks will go on and on about, but I do love how it’s just a simple straightforward wrestling show.
Tremendous heel promo by Randy Orton to start – it hit all the right notes: giving a logical explanation for the turn, investing the crowd, and ending on a high note (“R… K … * walks off *). I wish the actual turn was more interesting than a stomp to the balls but this was good. Welcome back, Randall.
Rusev vs. Andrade “Cien” Almas was a very cool match-up between two guys I just like seeing work. I don’t need no G1 Climax classic; I need two pros doing their thing. They kept it under 10 minutes and every big shot they threw was hit and timed for maximum effect, highlighted by Almas running full speed into the Machka Kick.
Samoa Joe vs. R-Truth was AWESOME, with Joe bumbling around for Truth’s shtick for 30 seconds before he killed him dead. It felt like Joe has been wanting to work with Ron Killings for YEARS.
Asuka vs. Billie Kay was alright for a 3-minute Asuka match, but not really a segment that helped either act, and we are at a point where each of these acts needs some help. Asuka’s dropkick was sweet though.
That AJ Styles Championship announcement segment hit all the right notes just like the Orton promo: the James Ellsworth callback, the Ellsworth firing (I hope that’s not real – poor guy has earned his stay), and finally Joe just viciously choking out AJ. That’s how you setup a CHAMPIONSHIP match, baby.
It has occurred to me that AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe vs. Daniel Bryan for the WWE Championship is a real possibility at some point in the future. That would be a rematch 14 years later of the IWA Mid-South Ted Petty Invitational 2004, a show I attended that may have cemented by wrestling markdom for life.
New Day vs. SAnitY was a solid tag with a chaotic finish. I wish for a whole lot more for New Day, but they have really perfected these 5-minute TV tags. Usos on commentary was a bonus.
OK Sin Cara as The Miz and Maryse’s babysitter was brilliant.
They had to have fed Monroe Sky right before they had her on TV – no way to guarantee that kid wouldn’t cry on live TV otherwise.
Loved everything about that Miz & Mrs Premiere segment – this show was 3/3 on their big angles hitting all the right notes: classic Miz promo, Daniel Bryan having fun, and a nice surprise at the end with Miz throwing his “baby” at Bryan before laying him out.
As a recent father (I say that with all the condescension in the world), I also have never felt closer to a wrestler as I did to The Miz when he did his entrance spin taunt while wearing the Baby Bjorn so……. slowly.
205 LIVE (7/24/18)
This fuckin’ show.
There is something to be said about taking 15 mins, building to a senton off the top, and delivering on it, but Tozawa vs. Gallagher still ended up a solid wrestling match that I didn’t really enjoy.
Every 205 Live match feels like it’s these guys all figuring out how to work a WWE-style match and impress Michael Hayes or whoever. But I don’t need to see Tozawa and Gallagher figure out how to work. They know how to work. Present them better and let them work!
Was one of the Lucha House Party jobbers a Jay White parody?
The 4-Way Match had typically good stuff from Mustafa Ali, but a lot of the multi-man spots took too long to setup and it never really got cracking. If you want me to be into Drew Gulak and Hideo Itami slugging it out, maybe don’t have them participating in complicated “cool” spots a few minutes before.
Drew Gulak doing something is better than Drew Gulak not doing something, so I approve of the result. 205 Live is kind of bumming me out though. Cedric Alexander vs. Gulak would’ve been my thing even a year ago. Now I just think, “Well there is a chance it is good.”
NXT (7/25/18)
This was a show all about a championship match and it was a good championship match.
Adam Cole vs. Sean Maluta was my least favorite Sean Maluta match.
The post-match with Ricochet, Undisputed Era, War Raiders, and Moustache Mountain was a very character-filled few minutes of TV. Undisputed Era feels like more of a big deal every week.
Dug the Shayna/Kairi contract signing being backstage and not in-ring – nice work, people.
Oh my God Lacey Evans started a match by driving her elbow in a gal’s face and just LAUNCHING her across the ring. Then the gal did a cartwheel and Lacey Evans just elbowed her in the head and won.
The Tommaso Ciampa/Aleister Black NXT Title switch was a pretty good match with an incredible last 5 minutes, even if the Johnny Gargano run-in was a little silly.
Ciampa and Black are a weird pairing – intriguing looks and characters, but kind of hit and miss in-ring, and them matched up against each other isn’t all that interesting. The match got time and had enough intensity and character to stay compelling for the first 15 minutes, even if I didn’t love it.
The last 5 was epic though – concrete, draping DDT, stiff kicks, near falls, a ref bump, Ciampa’s nasty eye gouge, and the chaos of the Johnny run-in before Ciampa shocked any wrestling fan in 2015 by winning the NXT Title. Tremendous moment with everything coming together so well.
MAIN EVENT (7/25/18)
Zack Ryder vs. Mike Kanellis was the most Main Event of Main Event matches.
Viktor has to decided to just ham it up in his early exchanges on Main Event and it’s kind of wonderful. The Ascension vs. Chad Gable & No Way Jose (yeah) featured one of the odder commercial break cuts in modern WWE – Konnor hits a shoulderblack, Nigel says “That is the benefit of experience!” all satisfied, and they fade to black before cutting to a Viktor chinlock. The match was OK that that cut just fascinated me.
WWE TV Match of the Week: Tommaso Ciampa vs. Aleister Black for the NXT Title
WWE TV MVP of the Week: Tommaso Ciampa
Iffy week – SmackDown seems to be on the Road to SummerSlam, while RAW still feels like its in the dirt worst holding pattern.
RAW: 3/10
SmackDown: 7/10
205 Live: 4/10
NXT: 7/10
