Sometimes watching WWE is a fascinating glimpse at how this crazy, weird, scummy, amazing insular business has adapted to things like going public and having their magic tricks exposed.
Sometimes it’s just fucking boring.
I don’t know what’s going on here. Wrestling fans always get kind of dramatic during these cool-down periods, as if this latest bad run is worse than the last.
But between racist Hulk Hogan coming back and the tag division being dead and 4-hour Network specials and all the matches feeling the same and the usual tacky commentary and the Universal Title not being around and dumb apron spots and dumb pull-apart brawls and nobody having a motivation and nobody having juice and Titus Worldwide being jobbers and Braun Strowman being cooled off and Matt Hardy as a dork and Jason Jordan yet to return and Dolph Ziggler in a prominent position and Elias being cooled off and Finn Balor already being a stale boring fucker and Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn being total geeks and Roman Reigns just feeling like he’s killing time for a heel turn that probably won’t come and The Revival and Tyler Breeze as jobbers and 205 Live being lame again and Bobby Roode and Sasha & Bayley doing a low-grade Degrassi and Natalya being a prominent babyface on Monday Night RAW and Nia Jax’s confusing heel/face switches and AJ Styles somehow being stale and New Day still just goofing off and Andrade “Cien” Almas barely being around and Usos barely around and The Bar barely around and Samoa Joe barely around and Gallows and Anderson feeling Future Endeavor-worthy and The Miz being cooled off and Jeff Hardy being too hurt to do anything great and Rusev still inexplicably working heel and Daniel Bryan being back and it not being amazing and Nakamura being a disappointment and Asuka not being undefeated anymore and Charlotte Flair as a babyface – this company fucking sucks right now.
RAW (7/16/18)
Fuuuuuuck.
Commentary on Bobby Lashley being a victim of white privilege aside (love Elias but why is he a contender), the opening promo was alright outside of more tired Brock stuff. Had the rest of the show not been so bad, I probably would’ve looked back more fondly on this. WWE probably thinks they’re nailing the Brock heel build when it’s really just a turn-off.
Reigns vs. Balor vs. McIntyre had some cool stuff – that crazy dive by Drew, that crazy spear on the floor by Roman – but was kind of a meaningless Triple Threat Match. Everyone worked hard but who cares? They were just kind of running through their shit. Cole was shouting stories but I’m not sure they were actually being told.
Roode vs. Ziggler was a special kind of not giving a shit. You guys can do a Zig Zag kickout all you want – it’s not happening. It’s not ever going to happen. I feel like Tom Prichard needs to have a conversation with Bob Roode – what’s so Glorious about Bobby Roode?
Tyler Breeze bumping for Mojo Rawley was the highlight of the show. Did Mojo really need to wear him down with a chinlock though?
Bayley/Sasha vs. Dana/Alicia was not much of a match in what is turning out to be not much of a story. I’m sure the blowoff will be good but with each passing week that feels like less of a possibility. Liked Dana taking the flat back bump to the floor because fuck it, she only works one day a year.
Heck of a diving knee by Viktor in that B-Team tag. Otherwise, that’s 5 minutes of TV time right there.
The Rousey/Bliss segment got heat but amidst the trash of this show it didn’t feel great.
The Authors of Pain are shouting stuff and suplexing people and maybe that is working for somebody. Not for me yet.
Sweet elbow by Ember Moon against Sarah Logan but c’mon man can somebody get these two a little joce.
I liked how they did individual Bob and Rollins promos and then had Elias play a song. On shows like this you’ve got to appreciate the little things.
The Rollins vs. Bob vs. Elias match was good stuff that got great for the last few minutes, even if it was all wrapped in a layer of apathy. Elias and Seth looked good. Bob didn’t even look bad, but I’m blinded by the aw shucks WWE babyface push he’s getting. It was a match that did its thing for the live crowd but wasn’t anything I was into for a bit, and then closed strong with Rollins bringing the insanity. Rollins was the only guy on this show who made me actually pay attention.
SMACKDOWN (7/17/18)
You know it’s going to be a good show when it starts with Jeff Hardy in his crazy-ass eye paint shouting “ENJOY THE SHOW!”
AJ Styles vs. Andrade Almas was a Grade One match. It was a little restrained as a first time TV match with a guy who hasn’t fully been established yet, but Allen Jones Styles let Andrade get all his shit in. The back elbow cut-off of the Phenomenal Forearm was wild, as was the double stomp > double knees kickout.
These are two of the smoothest most fun guys to watch in wrestling. Even the commercial picture-in-picture was good – big selling, baby. Actually, the fact that most of this match was in picture-in-picture is messed up.
Becky Lynch quietly becoming only person in WWE with legit motivation is nice. Match with Mandy Rose was a 3-minute match.
That R-Truth and Tye Dillinger bit was fine.
Glad Samoa Joe’s growing out that weird-ass haircut. The Dillinger match was a perfect use of TV time – Dillinger going after Joe, Joe smash. Great match.
The Team Hell No Eulogy was a strong Miz promo, and that pallbearer taking an extra special bump on the German suplex from Bryan was some trippy shit. Wish that point by Bryan to Miz got a bigger pop though.
Very much don’t enjoy watching Eric Young and the Kofi Kingston match did not change my mind. The Flair corner spot followed by the hiptoss off the top was nice, as was Dain just launching Woods into Kofi to setup the finish.
Jeff Hardy vs. Shinsuke Nakamura was a half-speed decent match with fun mannerisms but a lame beatdown from Nakamura. Jeff is still over but long matches like this aren’t tearing any house down. Solid, but that’s about it.
The Randy Orton beatdown complete with tearing Jeff Hardy’s ear gauge was awesome though.
SmackDown continues its’ run as a good solid show with occasionally great stuff.
205 LIVE (7/17/18)
TJP is a guy who claims he’s great but hasn’t really proven it, Noam Dar is a boring wrestler miscast as a babyface, and I don’t want to watch them wrestle. It’s the Dolph Ziggler vs. Bobby Roode of 205 Live! This match went 10 minutes and I audibly sighed twice during it.
Oh Drew Gulak squashing that guy in 30 seconds was very nice.
This isn’t something I am going to say go watch now but it had a lot of fun bits. Lio Rush is good at being a cocky shit in between all the rope-running. Tozawa can go. Lio’s selling of Tozawa’s shots was fun. Tozawa’s tope is still great.
I wonder what Tozawa thinks about, late at night. Is this the American Dream he was promised? Did he understand 205 Live would be such a dead zone, where he’d wrestle the same matches every 3 weeks or so? Is he happy? Does he care? Did he care at one point but doesn’t anymore? Does any of this even matter?
NXT (7/18/18)
Common knowledge is NXT builds up hope and goodwill, then RAW or SmackDown takes it away.
Through most of 2017, it seemed like even that initial hope and goodwill dissipated.
It’s been nice to have it back, and it’s been nice to look forward to this show again.
Dakota Kai vs. Lacey Evans wasn’t anything must-see but was a good developmental match – 10 minutes long, made sense, facewashes, a moonsault, and a nice sudden right hand for the finish.
Lots of promos/vignettes tonight. The Street Profits are alive and well but seem to have not gotten the message that TM61 is now The Mighty. The War Raiders “hey these guys are human beings” promo was good.
The Velveteen Dream vignette was GREAT – ambience, atmosphere, illumination indeed. Really want to know who is producing these – it’s a unique hook, the production values are great, and it was funny while getting him over as a serious star. Very nice.
Kassius Ohno knocking a guy out with an elbow in 10 seconds was probably the second best Ohno match since his return.
Nikki Cross vs. Kairi Sane vs. Candice LeRae was a fun bunch of action between three likable gals, but it was still a Triple Threat Match that felt a little empty – blah blah action blah blah Tower of Doom blah blah. I liked it more than the RAW matches but it was another match that seemed to work for the live crowd not at home.
MAIN EVENT (7/18/18)
I’ll tell you what, man – Curt Hawkins is still trying. He’s one of the only guys on the roster who doesn’t feel like he’s running through his shit and instead, even if there’s always going to be a chinlock, will try something weird every match. Him and No Way Jose had what would have been a fine dark match.
Chad Gable/Rhyno/Heath Slater vs. Mike Kanellis and The Revival – heck of a line-up. Could’ve used Constable Corbin instead of Dash Wilder to go full WAR but I was still into it. Gable vs. Dawson gave me fond American Alpha vs. Revival flashbacks. Rhyno does a karate kick. Kanellis takes a big bump into the corner. Rhyno does a hot tag and takes a Shatter Machine. This was a fine match, the first Main Event Match Worth Watching in a while.
WWE TV Match of the Week: AJ Styles vs. Andrade “Cien” Almas
WWE TV MVP of the Week: Andrade “Cien” Almas
On and on and on and on…
RAW: 2/10
SmackDown: 6/10
205 Live: 5/10
NXT: 7/10
