Quick Kickoff Thoughts:
The first man to say “tranquilo” on WWE TV = Sam Roberts.
Liked Booker T trying to get on a level with Nakamura so he’d answer his questions: “Shin – This is Booker T, WWE Hall of Famer, 6x World Champ.”
Nakamura as a heel with communication issues is still hilarious and might end up his legacy in WWE. “Yes… go ahead.” (GRIN)
Between Dolph Ziggler in his prime on the mic and Drew McIntyre being referred to as his big psychopath, this act has got JeriShow-like chemistry. It’s not all there, but it’s almost there. I like it.
0. Sin Cara vs. Andrade “Cien” Almas w/ Zelina Vega
One thing that WWE could have done was spend some time building Sin Cara up before they introduced him as Andrade “Cien” Almas’ first opponent. Either way, wrestling shows can always use a few funky armdrags and headscissors, and Almas was bumping like a man wanting some recognition. That rana off the apron seemed more scary than anything though. Wish they outright killed it, but still a fine match. ***
0. Tables Match: The New Day vs. SAnitY
Kind of an empty stunt show – they got a few pops, but there wasn’t much juice to it. The super double stomp was cool and Killian Dain is a wrestler I am intrigued by. Otherwise, eh. *1/2
1. RAW Tag Team Title: Bray Wyatt & Woken Matt Hardy [c] vs. The B-Team
B-Team actually winning is awesome but this was a match a victim of creative just trotting out phoned in stuff for this feud the last couple months. The B-Team charm was gone, and Matt Hardy – though still a STAR – has quickly gone from fun novelty to act to creep in his early 40s. The magic of the WWE Universe. Still though, RAW desperately needs more top teams – not sure Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel are the answer, but I’m always into seeing them try. **
The POP for Kurt Angle saying he’ll strip Brock Lesnar of the Universal Title!
2. Finn Balor vs. Constable Corbin
A Big John Studd squash is not really an ideal PPV match. Finn Balor being the most frustratingly uninteresting guy on the roster lately didn’t help either. *1/2
3. SmackDown Women’s Title: Carmella [c] vs. Asuka (James Ellsworth in a Shark Cage)
This is what we call a sports entertainment. Carmella playing old school heel with foreign objects + Asuka bringing the awesome strike-based offense + James Ellsworth hanging upside down from the shark cage made for a fine stupid wrestling match. Nowhere close to their Money in the Bank match, but as far as a match that was basically an angle I thought this was fine. **1/2
4. WWE U.S. Title: Jeff Hardy [c] vs. Shinsuke Nakamura
On second thought – THIS is what we call a sports entertainment. Nakamura hits a low blow before the bell and is all “Did I do that?” and then he hits the Kinshasa and wins the strap. Better than any 2018 Jeff Hardy vs. Shinsuke Nakamura match possibly could be. N/A
THE VIPER IS BACK! And he is apparently a HEEL, which is a very welcome thing. This whole thing really played with the lowered expectations of 2018 Shinskay – first we don’t have to endure him vs. Jeff Hardy, then we don’t have to endure him vs. Randy Orton. Kudos to everyone involved.
5. Steel Cage Match: Braun Strowman vs. Kevin Owens
Not much heat for what should have been a layup of a match – KO always trying to escape and taking big bumps into the steel, Braun kicking ass. This is the problem with a port-a-potty angle in 2018 though – once you go full port-a-potty, there’s no return. Anyone involved is lesser for it. Braun breaking the handcuffs and throwing Owens from the cage through a table was a sweet finish though. **1/2
6. SmackDown Tag Team Title: The Bludgeon Brothers [c] vs. Team Hell No
Kind of fascinated with WWE’s insistence on ham-fisting underdog angles into the matches of the best underdog they have on the roster – first there was the stretcher job at WrestleMania, now we get a match that was 75% a Handicap Match. Bryan running through his shit and taking heat from the Bludgeon Brothers was good stuff, and the missile dropkick and kip-up was magical. Not sure about the unstoppable Bludgeon Brothers feeding for Kane in a Boot though. A decent match that I don’t think hit as well as anyone had hoped. ***
The B-Team and Roman Reigns interacting was some inspired stuff.
7. Roman Reigns vs. Bobby Lashley
Finished strong, but did not deliver. They started well enough – it had the feel of a Big Time Match, Lashley was using takedowns, and Roman was throwing shots. But then it became just another plodding match for a while before they closed it well with big Superman punches and the spear catch. For all Roman did to re-invent the WWE heavyweight style last year, this felt like a huge step back. And it’s not just on Lashley. Respect for them being ballsy enough to get a near fall off a suplex though. **3/4
8. Extreme Rules – RAW Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss [c] w/ Mickie James vs. Nia Jax w/ Natalya
C’mon, man – you want an Extreme Rules match to deliver, you put Sasha Banks in there. I like these two, but – and sorry to be such a dork about it – this was clearly an Extreme Rules match between two performers and not two workers. Some weak-ass chairshots at the end too. The Ronda Rousey deal was nice but this kind of sucked. *
9. WWE Title: AJ Styles [c] vs. Rusev w/ Aiden English
This was, like a lot on this show, Pretty Good. If anything, an interesting look at what Main Eventer Rusev could be. Not great, but you also get cool shit like the catch of the Calf Crusher in the corner with a deadlift to the top rope, and an Accolade counter of the Calf Crusher. What I am trying to say is there were some nice Calf crusher Counters here.
I can’t tell if AJ Styles is no good anymore or not. This was just kind of OK for a long time. And then it got awesome for the last 5 – Macha kick near fall, Rusev hyping up the Accolade, the 450 splash near fall, etc etc ***1/4
10. 30-Minute Iron Man Match – WWE Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler [c] w/ Drew McIntyre vs. Seth Rollins
I think you could call this is a clinic, but that’s also what Dolph Ziggler would probably call it, so I am conflicted on how to react. This was pleasant enough wrestling for the first 10 minutes before 3 falls apiece and some Drew McIntyre interference got the drama going. And stupid crowd buzzer aside, they kept the drama going for 30 minutes with multiple near falls and big time moves.
The hook at the end with Rollins trying to tie it made for some very good wrestling. I don’t think it hit anything epic, and it was around the level of their last two RAW matches, but I liked their RAW matches. The Rollins Sharpshooter and Ziggler trying to escape with a tie made for a hot last couple minutes, and that final Rollins superkick was perfection. ***3/4
This was a weird show. It wasn’t very good, it wasn’t very bad. It was a show that was a victim of creative – every match was hurt for having a lack of juice to it and feeling more like a series of moves than an engaging story.
But also – while everything was painfully average, there wasn’t much that was actively bad, and the wrestling was all OK. And the results all made sense.
I also liked that they tried for a layout that was almost NJPW-like, with the matches escalating in importance as opposed to hot match-cool down-hot match-cool down. So, there were some positives.
Still though – at 5 hours, not much of note. And that’s the last thing we need right now. 4/10
