We are in blessed times that New Japan Pro Wrestling is airing on cable TV weekly, with four-hour specials every few months. Despite this, nothing seems to be improving production-wise an it’s actively taking away from the fun of the shows. The crowd is extra quiet and the (bad) commentary is extra loud.
Between the casual use of terms like “excursion” and young lion” and close-ups of Bullet Bros in the crowd screaming “The! Elite! The The Elite!” – this is not for anyone new, but for the already initiated. That seems bad.
Either way – pretty dull undercard, weak main event, but a few matches that totally delivered.
Also – that poor belt keeper guy! All he wanted to do was protect championships and he’s out there taking more bumps than Gedo.
1. YOSHI-HASHI, Gedo, Rocky Romero & Roppongi 3K vs. King Haku, Tama Tonga, Tanga Loa, Yujiro Takahashi & Chase Owens
This was what you call a crowd-pleasing opener, though the action wasn’t so strong that I can say it really pleased all that much. Gedo booking himself to take a Tongan Death Grip is hilarious though. Rocky and SHO looked good, spots got hit, and Haku taking a bump is tremendous. At least it wasn’t a SoCal Uncensored Match. **1/2
2. Tomohiro Ishii & Toru Yano vs. Minoru Suzuki & Zack Sabre Jr.
A match of fun interactions, from Toru Yano shtick to Suzuki and Ishii elbowing each other into early graves. It’s easy to forget that Toru Yano is a 16 year veteran – guy figured out who he was two years in and has done the exact same thing for over a decade. Yano over New Japan Cup winner ZSJ is hilarious. **
3. Hiroshi Tanahashi & KUSHIDA w/ Ryusuke Taguchi vs. Hangman Page & Marty Scurll
Ryusuke Taguchi as Tanahashi and KUSHIDA’s spiritual adviser is very good. This was a solid match, everybody brings a little thing to the table and they did that thing: Hangman Page shooting star off apron, Scurll finger spot, KUSHIDA being KUSHIDA, and Tanahashi being a sexy legend of professional wrestling. It’s crazy – there are going to be wrestlers a decade from now who cite the Bullet Club as their influence to get into wrestling. **3/4
4. NEVER Openweight Title: Hirooki Goto [c] vs. Jeff Cobb
Admission: This was the first Jeff Cobb match I ever saw. My assessment is that those suplexes are very cool. Hirooki Goto meanwhile is the weirdest wrestler – he’s had random epics this year with Suzuki and Juice, but a whole lot of “eh I guess this is good” matches with others. This had its moments but was kind of the latter. Goto offense stretches just aren’t exactly my idea of a night out. The sequence of Goto’s big lariat bump > Cobb moonsault > Cobb swinging suplex countered with a Goto sleeper was very nice. Decent near falls towards the end too. ***
5. IWGP Tag Team Title: The Young Bucks [c] vs. EVIL & SANADA
EVIL & SANADA are the best dressed team in wrestling, both when wearing suits for press conferences and entering for their matches. I love EVIL, but this was basically SANADA vs. The Bucks and it ruled. So many big athletic spots strung together so impressively. The Bucks were on fire and SANADA is a freak. The backflip reverse DDT to the floor was incredible, as was the SANADA sharpshooter struggle. They weren’t completely epic false finishes at the end, but real good ones. Very fun stuff. ***3/4
6. Kazuchika Okada & Will Ospreay vs. Tetsuya Naito & BUSHI
Okada just fucking around as a fired up midcarder with spiky hair and baggy pants is something else. This was very much just a Greatest Hits type of thing. Okada and Naito just running through their shit is still good shit though. ***
7. IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Title: Hiromu Takahashi [c] vs. Dragon Lee
Ths was a match that was better at being a ladder match than an actual ladder match: they built to a bunch of major spots, big danger and risk was always lurking, and the crowd was losing their shit. A little silly sometimes too. And, unfortunately, legitimately dangerous, as while I write this it looks like Hiromu may have broken his neck. So freaking out about this match feels kind of gross right now, but it sure was fun while it lasted.
The rana off the apron before the bell even rang was a very cool way to start and they kept bringing it. Hiromu’s full velocity dropkick and plancha, Lee’s foot stomp to the floor, and the chop battle were highlights. The repeated German suplexes got over but were kinda stupid. Fun insane match but god damnit, Hiromu. ****
8. IWGP U.S. Heavyweight Title: Jay White [c] vs. Juice Robinson
Juice Robinson is READY. I thought this after watching his amazing entrance, I know this after watching the match. God forgive me, but this gave me Ricky Steamboat vs. Jake Roberts vibes. It was a match that could’ve easily failed – right after the Jr. Title insanity + Jay White has not done a thing in-ring since the Switchblade turn – but it was really good because Juice has come into his own as a great babyface and White got heel heat that he milked like a pro.
Juice was Dusty god damn Rhodes out there – fire, left hands, pauses at the right moments, big selling… plus bumps on his head, because hey it’s New Japan. The big guardrail bumps could’ve been silly but were just nasty enough to work and garnered some serious heat, which felt like something White was just waiting to take advantage of. Legit fun heel performance by this guy – flipping off the crowd, cutting off Juice at all the right times. So good.
Josh Barnett might be the WORST color commentator but I will buy into him going after Jay White, yes I will. Great countout tease toward the end too after a Russian Legsweep off the apron – I swear if Jay stayed outside after Juice rolled in at 19, we could’ve had a riot. Glad Juice got the nod though.
Loved all the teases of Jay winning towards the end. There was so much cheating – refusing to break at 5, a low blow after the ref caught Juice’s taped right hand – that I started thinking this was booked specifically for JR. The kickout of Juice’s Pulp Friction was a brilliant way to tip to the crowd, “Sorry, your boy ain’t winning.” And then he DID! Best match I’ve ever seen these guys in, tremendous stuff. ****1/2
9. IWGP Heavyweight Title: Kenny Omega [c] vs. Cody
Cody’s entrance was awesome, though the blonde dye job needs to make a return. This match was an OK wrestling match and weak-ass IWGP Heavyweight Title match. Between Kenny’s knee tweak off the plancha and the table/ladder spots, it felt like Kenny and Cody’s WWE Main Event Audition Match. That’s not exactly a bad thing, but their lack of in-ring chemistry combined with a glaring lack of hate in relation to the length of this feud meant it never really hit. It was another Kenny match that got more time than it probably needed too. There was a whole lot of clapping, but not much investment. **3/4
Loved the show-ending angle with Haku, Tama Tonga and Tanga Loa finally rising up to take back the Bullet Club from these pretty boys…. but at the end of the day, it’s still Tama Tonga.
A fun night at the matches brought down by weak presentation and the fact that it’s just missing so much to really get this U.S. product cooking. The undercard was OK but nothing must-watch, while the Tag Title, Jr. Title, and U.S. Title matches all ruled. 7/10
