Dire times, these days.
It has been a while since I’ve seen a WWE product (yes, I know the business – I use terms like PRODUCT) with such momentum go back to being completely uninteresting as much as Monday Night RAW.
SmackDown Live was a burning hemorrhoid of a wrestling show last year after that hot late-2016, but this downfall of RAW is hurting worse.
The backwards strides it has taken in just a couple months have been demoralizing. Acts like Braun Strowman, Finn Balor, Sasha Banks, and even Roman Reigns have taken a thousand steps back, while acts like Kevin Owens, Bobby Lashley, Bobby Roode, Bayley, and The Riott Squad are getting focus weekly but aren’t delivering. Meanwhile, the tag division just sucks.
On Tuesday nights, SmackDown Live isn’t even that bad. The wrestling is kind of good! But there’s just such a lack of momentum anywhere. Acts like The Miz, Samoa Joe, New Day, Rusev, and even Daniel Bryan all seem like they are occasionally on the verge of being major acts again – and then we’re back to square one. The Bar, Jeff Hardy, The Usos and Asuka are struggling for even a spot on the show. Meanwhile, the tag division just sucks.
What really messes everything up is that there are basically three major feuds casting a shadow over every show right now:
1) a “Dream Feud” that hasn’t lived up to the hype and for the past two months has been centered around a guy punching another guy in the balls
2) a former UFC superstar who’s over but awkward on promos going head-to-head with a lady who just last month cut a drizzling shits promo about following your dreams and is now suddenly a meanie again – and all the build-up is around promos
3) and finally, a build to a couple gimmick matches that can simply be boiled down to half the roster going “No, I’M gonna climb the ladder and grab that briefcase!”
Not to mention Daniel Bryan and Big Cass in a feud that’s basically, “Hey! This little guy beat this big guy. Can he do it… twice? Two times?”
And Sami Zayn and Bobby Lashley are just killing crowds weekly.
And Bo Dallas/Curtis Axel and a revitalized Drew McIntyre getting pushed amidst a tag division that can’t support that push.
There’s highlights here and there – Seth Rollins and Elias rule, Curt Hawkins is oddly doing something interesting, The Miz is still committing 1000%, and stupid wrestling is still kind of awesome – but it’s all overwhelmed by this inescapable stench of soaking wet trash.
God damn, brother. Let’s get through MITB already and see WTF happens already. God damn.
RAW (6/11/18)
Another pretty bad RAW, though not as offensive as last week’s. An argument could be made that some of the stuff this week might have set some folks up for something interesting. I won’t make that argument, but it could be made.
Hahahahaha they did the stupid-ass promo again where everybody is standing on ladders because they’re all gonna be in a ladder match and everything is stupid. This featured a lot of dumb bickering with everybody appearing like a complete dumbass. Constable Corbin sure is no Commissioner Regal, either.
The Sasha Banks vs. Ember Moon vs. Natalya vs. Alexa Bliss 4-way was 50% pretty sweet and 50% ehhhhh. They had some ideas (cradles! action! two commercial breaks!!) but everything in between the big spots was kind of awkward, especially because everyone just did that bullshit ladder promo that made them look stupid. Nattie selling the leg tried to give it a thread but it didn’t really work. The Ember tope and poor Sasha colliding with the barricade was wild. Sasha’s weird Tripping Plancha not so much. I’m into Sasha vs. Ember if they ever want to do that.
Drew McIntyre wrecking people is a weekly highlight of these dark days of RAW. Fine squash against Breezango. It’s hard to get into though as they have the same issue the B-Team does – there is no point in calling out the tag team division if the tag team division sucks. Imagine Drew Mac calling out The Usos, New Day, The Bar, or The Bludgeon Brothers. Nah – Titus Worldwide is how he’s gonna make a name for himself.
Jinder Mahal’s Roman Reigns vs. Great Khali tease was heartbreaking as I’d be SO into that match. Roman would make it work. Otherwise, Roman beat Sunil Singh’s ass in 10-seconds and nobody was any better for it.
Heath Slater’s “Rhyno Made This” t-shirt was inspired but how are you getting The B-Team over by denying the crowd of RHYNO? Should people be rooting for The B-Team? Yes? No? They’re lovable underdogs, but they’re working babyface teams and going up against Wyatt & Hardy. Does anyone even care? Does life even matter?
The Seth Rollins/Elias thing worked because even amongst the darkness, these two are still over. Why would Seth NOT auction off the guitar for charity though?
Bayley vs. Ruby Riott was an OK match overwhelmed by Bayley’s depressing missed corner dropkick. That was sad. That was very sad. Sweet post bump to setup the finish though.
Here’s an idea: let’s take any mystique Nia Jax had left as a big mean lady and have her sit down and awkwardly talk in the ring for 5 minutes. The brawl with Rousey was probably the hottest 30-seconds of their match. Love that they had to have Nia Jax tap out to the armbar because they just had to make RONDA ROUSEY strong prior to MITB.
Legit LOL’d @ the bell ringing on Nia’s tap though. It’s the little things, you know?
Curt Hawkins dressing as a member of No Way Jose’s conga line and attacking him to try and get a win was my favorite moment of this entire show. What’s with Curt Hawkins being the most logically booked part of RAW lately?
I cannot believe the payoff to the Zayn obstacle course thing wasn’t Bobby coming out 5 minutes into his promo and just bodying him. God damnit.
The Strowman vs. Balor vs. Roode vs. Owens 4-way was a good match for Braun, bad for everybody else (including the viewer – WOAHA!). The Owens frog splash through the table followed by a commercial followed by a Bobby Roode armbar on Finn Balor was incredible in the worst way. There was a brief moment of goodness as Balor went for the kill on Braun… and then Bobby Roode broke it up and did his stupid-ass taunt and I stopped caring. Braun selling like a wounded animal was kinda great though. Anyways, this show sucked.
SMACKDOWN (6/12/18)
STACKED line-up for this SmackDown Live, baby. THREE first time matches! And a 10-woman tag main event! WOWWWW!!!
Plus, there was a Money in the Bank SUMMIT instead of the dumbass everyone-on-top-of-ladders promo. It wasn’t the best but it was only 75% awkward and not 150%.
OH! They aired some of the awesome Daniel Bryan WWE.com promo on Big Cass. Good move. There was no “shin bone to the dome when your mama ain’t home” but that’s probably for the best.
Daniel Bryan vs. Shelton Benjamin was a tremendous 6 minutes or so, man – Bryan running full force into Benjamin, going for the kill early, grappling, a shinbreaker on the outside, quick no-bullshit knee work by Benjamin, YES YES YES, Bryan’s comeback and going after Benjamin’s knee, Benjamin going for the kill only to get caught in a nasty heel hook for the win. Way to maximize your minutes, boys.
The thing about Daniel Bryan right now is that he’s stuck in a feud with a struggling Big Cass and the matches he has had have been fun but not great. Regardless, he remains as he always was – even if the matches aren’t designed to be epics, he is still trying weird things and doing fun stuff (i.e.: just grappling away with Shelton). I wish more wrestlers brought that uniqueness to the table weekly.
Lawler showing up in Memphis to interview AJ Styles was a nice touch, even if it was the most generic 90-second promo. AJ’s ability to remain over despite being the most average WWE top babyface is something else.
Samoa Joe vs. Rusev (with Miz as ref!) didn’t quite meet the expectations I had for it but it was still two big bubba’s clubbing each other for a bit and was pretty fun to watch. Tremendous collision on the Machka Kick at the finish too.
The Miz hamming it up with the “NEW DAAAY!!!!” scream afterwards was phenomenal. He almost hurt that poor stagehand slamming the briefcase down though – be careful, Mike, you’re a father now.
Jeff Hardy vs. Shinsuke Nakamura was a pretty insane thing to see on my television set. It was more a character match for Nakamura than anything, just Nak being a punkass. A few cool bits though – Nak doing the Hardy taunt, the stop-short by Jeff on the Kinshasa with the Twist of Fate, and Jeff inexplicably doing a Kenny Omega sell and just collapsing on the Irish whip.
The 10-woman tag was solid but everybody outside of Carmella needs some HEAT, man. Dug Sonya vs. Naomi early, Becky’s selling as she took heat, Charlotte just chopping her way through a hot tag, and Asuka’s even better hot tag. Asuka looked SO good mixing it up with everybody – makes you wish she wasn’t on TV once every 3 weeks and hadn’t lost to Charlotte at WrestleMania.
205 LIVE (6/12/18)
Might not actually care about any of the characters on this television program, but in-ring wise this was a great show.
Lucha House Party vs. Kendrick/Gallagher/Gulak was by far the best of this endless series of matches, mostly cause there were two extra guys in there and one of them was Drew Gulak. All these guys are good, just nobody really cares. Fun flying + good old-fashioned tag work by the bad guys + a neat finish = FUN! Best part of the match was Lucha House Party flying all over, then Gulak tagging in and just elbowing Dorado in the face. Second best was Kalisto shaking his ass and getting what might’ve been the biggest pop of the evening.
Tozawa’s squash match had some serious mis-communication in the middle but I am all about Tozawa getting the squash spot this week.
Mustafa Ali vs. Tony Nese was an awesome match if it had more crowd heat, as it was it was a very good match. Ali is an awesome likable babyface who deserves a real run on RAW – his selling is great and every big spot and bump he does looks gorgeous. The slow-mo replay on him getting launched into the turnbuckle post was wild. Nese meanwhile brought it – even if he was slapping his leg on all of them all his strikes looked hurty, and there’s an AMAZING spot late in the match where Ali sets up a Frankensteiner but Nese pushes him off and immediately charges 60 mph into him with a vicious clothesline.
They did a good job pacing themselves too where when everything leads to a big double clothesline spot, the drama is REAL. Cedric Alexander, who was in Ali’s corner, also sends Buddy Murphy, who was in Nese’s corner, legitimately halfway up the entrance ramp with a tope towards the end. Gooood stuff – Ali is quietly having a heck of a run.
NXT (6/13/18)
Great hour of TV – last-minute TakeOver build, setups for next week, a couple fun squashes, and an epic Pete Dunne title defense.
War Raiders squashed some poor fellas en route to the miraculously re-named The Mighty. Dusty Rhodes would’ve never approved that stupid TM61 name. Actually, Dusty Rhodes probably wouldn’t have approved War Raiders either.
Kassius Ohno vs. EC3 wasn’t a whole lot – Ohno kicked ass with some brutal strikes, then EC3 caught him in the ropes and hit his stupid finish and it was over. If EC3 had a finish that was not a fireman’s carry cutter, I might’ve been more into it.
Bianca Belair vs. Aliyah was an AWESOME Belair showcase. Aliyah danced liked a dumbass so Belair elbowed her in the face, then in like 3 minutes did a kip-up, handspring backflip, a deadlift suplex, and a DEADLIFT PRESS SLAM. Amazing. All in on Bianca Belair.
Pete Dunne vs. Kyle O’Reilly RULED. Chalk another one up for Pete By God Dunne. It was basically a 15-minute sprint, just non-stop grappling and grabbing limbs and headbutting and kicking limbs and countering, all with the crowd 100% into it the entire time. Just awesome and credible and beautiful. Loved the finish with O’Reilly tearing out Dunne’s mouthguard, only for Dunne to snap his fingers and hit the Bitter End. I feel like Katsuyori Shibata would mark out for this match. Sweet brawl afterwards too.
The show-closing Aleister Black promo was not great, but Lars just dismantling him was good stuff. I’d be into Lars getting the strap. I would’ve also been into Black not saying a word during this entire feud, but here we are.
MAIN EVENT (6/13/18)
Not much this week on Hulu dot com. Titus Worldwide and The Acension had themselves a very Main Event match and did pop the crowd on occasion, even if I wouldn’t necessarily say hey go watch this match.
Mojo Rawley vs. Chad Gable was OK. Real formula, nice Gable bumps, and an embarrassing botch by 5-year pro Rawley – tried to go backwards over the ropes and basically got stuck fumbling around in them before he gave up and slipped outside. That they left it in might tell you how Mojo Rawley is currently viewed by the BRASS. Poor guy. I feel like he is walking up to everyone any chance he gets asking, “What can I do to get better, man?” And everyone just lifts their head up from whatever they are doing and goes, “Ehhh just keep up what you’re doing, it’s OK.
WWE TV Match of the Week: Pete Dunne vs. Kyle O’Reilly for the U.K. Title was the standout, but I really liked Mustafa Ali vs. Tony Nese and Daniel Bryan vs. Shelton Benjamin too. Three different types of matches: grappling gold, babyface vs. heel killing it in front of a tough crowd, and a great 5-minute TV match.
WWE TV MVP of the Week: Bianca Belair is just gonna flip me out every chance she gets, isn’t she?
RAW being terrible and the Money in the Bank build makes it seem like WWE is in a really bad spot, even if most of the wrestling this week was pretty good.
RAW: 4/10
SmackDown: 6/10
205 Live: 7/10
NXT: 8/10
