This was a three-hour wrestling show that peaked twenty minutes in.
0. Bayley vs. Ruby Riott w/ Sarah Logan and Liv Morgan
This had a couple neat spots but nothing really hit and nobody seemed moved. The Riott Squad gimmick doesn’t click and Bayley might be more dead in the water than Roman Reigns. *3/4
1. WWE Intercontinental Title: Seth Rollins [c] vs. The Miz
Intense, dramatic, smartly worked, spectacular – a match that just makes you jump out of your seat and exclaim, “The professional wrestling is fucking awesome.”
These boys went 20 minutes and tore the house down. Rollins is having the run of his life and Miz is right behind him, delivering the perfect most unspectacular beatdown and right there for everything Rollins did. The whole thing had a frantic pace that built and built – Miz taunting but immediately booting Rollins in the head, Miz swatting away the superkick, Rollins’ tope and battle cry, the absolute intensity of the last 10 minutes or so. Rollins’ selling was tremendous and added to the drama – the crawling around after his big bump to the floor, using the ropes to pull himself up, the over-selling of the knee for some hot spots after he put his knee into the post.
That pace delivered an epic finish – nice near falls with Rollins trying to put Miz way, and Rollins’ knee smashing into the post leading to a figure-four from The Miz got SO over and was so great. Dug the big strike exchange towards the end too, trading hands like Triple H and The Rock were having a knock-down drag-out fight. Rollins’ hurt knee led to a SkullCrushing Finale for SUCH a hot near fall, AND THEN THEY DID IT AGAIN AND IT WAS EVEN BETTER.
The crowd was biting on everything the whole time I swear I saw tears of joy at the finish. Tremendous stuff. ****1/2
2. RAW Women’s Title: Nia Jax [c] vs. Alexa Bliss
OK storyline, awful execution. There was the Nia Jax face turn being backstage and annoying, the Mania match going too long, and now this match where even if you’re going to give Alexa offense there’s just not even a big NIA KILL spot to make it worth it. Why root for Nia if she’s beating up tiny Bliss, why root for Nia if she can’t even end her quickly? The Twisted Bliss catch was cool – should’ve happened 10 minutes sooner. *1/2
Oh dear god WWE trying to do inspirational shit NOOOOOOOOO. Make a Difference Nia Jax is horrifying in how scripted it is. Chalk one up for the kids, I guess, but there’s less forced and geeky ways to do this.
“The Big Dog? Tonight… I turn the Big Dog into a whimpering puppy.”
3. WWE U.S. Title: Jeff Hardy [c] vs. Randy Orton
This was a match in which Randy Orton and Jeff Hardy did some things that you might expect from Randy Orton and Jeff Hardy after doing the WWE grind for a decade or two, but never really getting anything going one way or another. Orton slotted in as heel and seemed particularly sleep-walky. He’s starting to feel like a man out of place, and you either do something with that or move on. **1/4
The Elias thing a nice way to get some pops but let’s give somebody some momentum please.
4. Daniel Bryan vs. Big Cass
This was the match Bryan and Cass should’ve had, but Cass doing extended offense on a fella just isn’t there yet. It felt very Tanahashi vs. Bad Luck Fale – ya still had Dan Bryan doing his thing though, but you’re not getting some epic out of it. Also, it wasn’t even 8 minutes long. Bryan caving Cass’ face in to get the YesLock on was great though. ***
5. SmackDown Women’s Title: Charlotte Flair [c] vs. Carmella
Even if Carmella’s shit-talking voice is great, this was weak Carmella offense + a Charlotte comeback that didn’t get over. Cool. Cool cool cool. Carmella moonwalking then taking a spear was awesome but instead of that as a finish you had Charlotte tweaking her knee and Carmella rolling her up which didn’t feel credible at all. Not a good night for the women’s division. *1/2
6. No DQ Match – WWE Title: AJ Styles [c] vs. Shinsuke Nakamura
Any time AJ and Nak were hitting each other it was great; any time they tried to fill it in beyond that it didn’t get me. Nak still brings the pain (that one kick that punted AJ into the ropes… woof) but man – a We Want Tables chant during AJ vs. Nakamura is some stuff. They built this sucker into a double nut shot KO finish which I am split between calling the dumbest fucking finish to a WWE Title match or the best. Another AJ/Nakamura match that had its moments but ultimately disappointed, and that finish was crowd-killing stuff. ***1/4
7. Braun Strowman & Bobby Lashley vs. Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn
This was basically the match they had on RAW but without the benefit of a hot crowd. Instead, they were working in front of a bunch of people that just witnessed a WWE Title match end with two guys kicking each other in the balls and collapsing. And then this one ended with a Bobby Lashley stalling vertical suplex. Not great, Bob. *1/2
8. Roman Reigns vs. Samoa Joe
This was a match building to a comeback that nobody wanted. Roman Reigns was my #1 Wrestler in the World in 2017 based around matches where he got chucked around and sold his ass off. But after Brock at Mania and now this Joe match, it’s clear that the formula has lost its smile. The folks aren’t in anymore – the usual suspects are still booing him, but the others no longer feel invested. Joe felt particularly chinlock-reliant here too and that didn’t help. The Drive-By countered with a Joe choke was a spot too cool for this match. **1/2
Rollins/Miz being a classic aside, a very bad wrestling show. Almost nobody on this roster feels hot right now and there were a lot of matches that felt like they were actively booked to fail: Nia/Alexa, Charlotte/Carmella, and Joe/Reigns all went too long and had heel beatings that nobody gave a shit about, while the Styles/Nakamura finish was a funny deal but just brutally slaughtered the poor crowd. Even Braun Strowman didn’t feel over. What the hell? 2/10
