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Captain Lou’s Review: NJPW Wrestling Hi No Kuni (4/29/2018)

Yuji Nagata & Ren Narita vs. Tomoyuki Oka & Shota Umino

Fairly non-descript young lion action for most part except for when Nagata would step in to kick ass and take names. The finish between old man Yuji and Umino was pretty great, Future Ace Shota trying to slap Nagata around only to get annihilated in short order. **1/4

Jay White, Rocky Romero, SHO & YOH vs. Jushin Thunder Liger, Tiger Mask, Ryusuke Taguchi & David Finlay

Switchblade and Finlay back on the undercard grind after headlining Korakuen, baby. This ticked all the boxes that needed to be ticked: fast-paced action with no down time, Taguchi butt comedy, Jay coming off as a badass and Finlay picking up the win to keep the 2018 DAVID FINLAY PUSH alive. Well done. **1/2

Togi Makabe & Toa Henare vs. Tomohiro Ishii & Toru Yano

Love the Ishii/Henare feud, but this tag pairing has been run into the ground on this tour. Same formula as their match at Korakuen: Makabe/Yano worked the comedy and meat n’ potatoes pro-wres while Ishii and Henare brutalized each other for your viewing pleasure. Henare looking stronger against Ishii every time they meet is some truly inspired 90’s All Japan booking. **3/4

Kenny Omega, Kota Ibushi, Chase Owens & Yujiro Takahashi vs. Zack Sabre Jr, Takashi Iizuka, Taichi & TAKA Michinoku

Golden Lovers Club vs. Suzuki Gun is a pairing we haven’t seen much of, so I’m quite down. The actual match took forever to get past the initial Iizuka biting shenanigans, but once it did it, it was a fun time. The Cross Slash/stereo tope suicidas from Bullet Lovers was amazing, as was Ibushi bumping like a god damn freak for Taichi’s Axe Bomber. There was a bit of awkwardness between Chase and ZSJ, but they made up for it with an efficient finish. **3/4

Kazuchika Okada, Hirooki Goto, YOSHI-HASHI & Will Ospreay vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi, Michael Elgin, Juice Robinson & KUSHIDA

Okada went back to the bleached eyebrows to make sure he looks like the personification of pure evil against Tanahashi. Tremendous. They worked this as an inversion of the current Okada/Tana dynamic from this tour, this time Tanahashi staying one step ahead of Okada and even laying him out early with a Sling blade on the ramp. Elsewhere, Ospreay pulled off a brand spanking new death move called the Stormbreaker (someone dug the new Avengers movie) and TAICHI ran in after the match to take out Goto. Lotta stuff. Lotta fun. ***

Post-match pullapart between Tana and Okada was awesome. I am so there for this match.

BUSHI vs. El Desperado

The ultimate battle between two guys with amazing masks that are just okay at the pro-wrestling. They actually put together a pretty fun match, Despy working heel and going for the mask at all times, BUSHI fighting back with some some of his rarely-used high spots: nutty Canadian Destroyer, bonkers top-rope Frankensteiner variation, Codebreaker into the ropes. A whole bunch of cool shit that had the crowd flipping out and cheering for their boy BUSHI. Both of these guys are sorely lacking personality, so going for the big spots wasn’t a bad idea. The Kanemaru run-in finish was a bummer but turned into a cool transition right into the next match. ***

Hiromu Takahashi vs. Yoshinobu Kanemaru

This was a BLAST! Super Babyface Hiromu coming in red hot to save BUSHI from getting unmasked and cleaning house only to miss a flying dropkick off the apron and wrecking his back, setting-up the whole match layout of Kanemaru targeting his back non-stop with a bunch of hurty-looking shit like suplexes on the floor and Boston crabs through the ropes was ALL GREAT. Hiromu sold his ass off and Kanemaru was a total pro at cutting off his comebacks and going right back to the injury. Huge babyface heat for Hiromu all the way through. Loved Hiromu using his high impact moves to gradually make a comeback rather than just throwing out all of them randomly. That overhead suplex into the turnbuckle is THE perfect comeback spot. I also thought the Despy/BUSHI interference was actually well done and the crowd popped big time when LIJ managed to outsmart the rudos. Finally, it was pretty heart-warming to see Hiromu grab a big win after that total downer of a 2018 he’s been having. ***1/2

EVIL & SANADA © vs. Lance Archer & Davey Boy Smith Jr – IWGP Tag-Team Title

Very similar to their Tokyo Dome match, the big difference being SANADA, who finally figured out how to show personality and fire since January. KES were on offense for 75% of the match, acting like total monsters and tossing the LIJ fan-favorites around like rag dolls, EVIL and SANADA bumping and selling their asses off. SANADA got pulverized by a Killer Bomb off the apron through a table, leaving EVIL to fight for himself and build up that sweet, sweet crowd sympathy. SANADA eventually flying back in out of nowhere with a springboard dropkick to break up a Killer Bomb on EVIL was perfect and really got the crowd going nuts for the entire ending stretch. The LIJ bros got in some huge revenge spots, including the HOMERUN CHAIRSHOT from EVIL and a big time pescado from SANADA. Rock-solid tag-team wrestling with everyone playing their role well. ***1/2

Minoru Suzuki © vs. Tetsuya Naito – IWGP Intercontinental Title

Welp. I was ready to go 7 stars for this one considering how much I love both guys and how great their interactions had been in the lead-in tag matches, but they clearly have a better match in them somewhere down the road. This one went too long, Suzuki’s repeated legbars reaching the point of overkill and there were some sloppiness issues that could probably be attributed to both guys (Naito might’ve been a little off, but at 50 years of age, Suzuki isn’t the snappiest bumper around). That being said, there was still a LOT to like here.

All of the opening stretch was brilliant and delivered on the promise of their previous interactions. Naito in full Troll-Mode laughing off Suzuki’s stiffness, Minoru stealing the ROLLING NAITO POSE before losing his patience and trying to kill Naito with guardrails. The leg work portion started off great too before it got stretched out (pun intended, baby) for too long. They established Naito had the clear speed/athleticism advantage and Suzuki tried to even the playing field by crippling him, which makes perfect sense. Naito sold well and kept showing pain when he started getting in his comeback spots.

The finish was simultaneously brilliant and completely anticlimactic. Naito slapping the absolute fuck out of Suzuki to the point of opening him up hardway was an incredible sight, but then the actual Destino 3 count that followed felt flat and too sudden. For a better version of what they were going for here: check out Naito’s match with ZSJ in the first round of New Japan Cup. Fingers crossed for a 15 minute rematch in this year’s G1. ***1/2

This show was RIGHT THERE. Main event had some amazing moments but didn’t live up to its potential. Undercard was mostly filler. Hiromu and KES matches were fun stuff but nothing that you really need to go out of your way to see. I am now putting all of my faith in Kazuchika Okada and Hiroshi Tanahashi to restore the balance in the Force at Dontaku.