Sometimes, you just need to shake things up.
And sometimes you don’t.
And sometimes, you shake things up and it messes everything up.
And sometimes, you shake things up and it fixes everything.
And sometimes, it messes some things up and fixes other things.
And sometimes, it fixes some things and messes other things up.
And sometimes, if it’s wrestling, you can just do another shake-up because who cares – all we want are some colors and muscles and stories and promos and flips and shit.
It was a fun run, Monday Night RAW. I am semi-interested to see the RAW booking office’s presentation for folks like Jinder, Ziggler, Owens, Zayn, Nattie, Corbin, and Roode, but after the last year on SmackDown all these folks are coming to Monday nights dead in the water.
SmackDown meanwhile appears to have simply taken out the trash and grabbed The Miz, Jeff Hardy, Samoa Joe, The Bar, Asuka, and ANDRADE ALMAS. It’s kind of amazing.
The dust will settle in the next few months, but we appear to be setting up Vince McMahon’s Playground (RAW) vs. Daniel Bryan’s (SmackDown).
And that’s a pretty interesting thing.
Onward we go, professional wrestling.
RAW (4/16/18)
Shows filled with surprises are pretty easy to do, but a lot of these surprises kind of bummed me out.
Ziggler?
ZIGGLER???
This was a wrestling show more about the angles than the wrestling, though Jinder Mahal vs. Jeff Hardy rocked. The angles? They were OK. Lots of re-introductions, and at the same time I’m not sure much happened.
Jinder Mahal gets legitimate heel heat in 2018 and that is so very cool, but him trotting out at the start of the show as the first brand switch was kind of a party pooper and I’m not positive this party ever recovered.
There’s probably something to be written about heel heat/legit visceral reactions from casual fans and heel heat/apathy from hardcore fans, and maybe how the heat from these hardcore fans might actually be visceral and the heat from these casual fans might actually be apathy, but I’ve got one-month old who’s cluster feeding at home, so that just isn’t happening right now.
Regardless, Jinder cut a solid promo and looked like a real bad son of a bitch, and then Jeff Hardy came out, and Hardy is really one of the more reliable POPS in wrestling.
They had a match too and it was kind of awesome, just super basic stuff that totally worked. Jinder is a real effective Boring WWE Heel while Jeff is over as hell and will still bump like a (soon-to-be) champion. Tons of great cut-offs here too – the timing on the Whisper of the Wind block was so awesome, as was the big knee after the Twist of Fate attempt, as was the big boot to the face after Jeff’s roll-up. Crowd was SO into the Swanton set up too. Best wrestling match this week.
Bayley (who now wears a… bib for her entrance?) vs. Sasha Banks had a real awkward start with Bayley slipping on the first move but once Sasha hit that Meteora on the outside and they started slapping and punching the shit out of each other they got their heat back. And then – RIOTT SQUAD! Well OK then. Maybe they will find their purpose on Monday nights. Maybe.
Rhyno/Slater vs. Authors of Pain had a nice hook with the pre-bell attack and Rhyno going on a tear before the inevitable AoP win. I still think The Last Chapter is a crap finisher.
The Miz, Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn and The Miztourage as The Greatest Stable That Never Was was pretty great. Fun MizTV segment overall – loved Sami hamming it up and wearing GLASSES, the group hug, and Miz’ classic reaction on the news that Daniel Bryan specifically requested he move to SmackDown.
Really hope poor Miztourage can land on their feet.
On this show, Bray Wyatt & Matt Hardy squashed a couple of jobbers named Dash and Dawson.
I was completely fascinated by that lip-syncing co-branded PPV music video that felt like Pitbull and Kevin Dunn producing a We Are the World video. Completely wild stuff, thought I cracked my back and was having acid flashbacks. Amazing piece of media right here.
Mickie James vs. Ember Moon was a pretty quiet match and more about the Nia Jax/Alexa Bliss commentary angle but the intensity and stiffness was up and Mickie’s Eclipse bump was INCREDIBLE. Way to put the new gal over.
DOLPH ZIGGLER making his entrance on Monday Night RAW was a total bummer but Drew McIntyre showing up to help him take out Titus Worldwide was another acid trip of a moment. I have no idea where this goes and a Ziggler/McIntyre duo does nothing for me but the angle itself was pretty awesome, just for how wacky it was and how the crowd embraced that with a HOLY SHIT chant. I am absolutely there for an eventual Roman Reigns/Drew McIntyre program.
Roman Reigns’ gold chain deserves its’ own HBO documentary.
The follow-up to Roman’s loss at WrestleMania has been so weird. It feels like they just did it for the shock value and now they just have to kill time until the rematch in Saudi Arabia. Depressed Man Bun Roman is a weird little deal, let me tell you. Putting him against Samoa Joe at Backlash is smart though, because A) with Joe moving to SmackDown it gives this awesome pairing one last hurrah and B) Samoa Joe is basically the best promo in professional wrestling. Another crackerjack of a verbal ass-beating by Samoan Joe here.
Ronda Rousey making the save for NATALYA on Monday Night RAW is some STUFF. The Nattie turn can be seen from six miles away – it might not be exciting but it makes perfect sense and sometimes in wrestling that’s half the battle.
Breezango vs. The Bar was a solid little match – Breezy took a heck of a pop-up euro uppercut and hot DAMN at that assisted backbreaker near fall. Breezango winning is wild.
The 10-man tag main event had some fun action and a kooky cast of characters, and building to the Braun hot tag was sweet. But BOBBY ROODE as the surprise entrant? Bobby Roooooode?
God damn, RAW. I loved you. I loved you! You were my best friend.
We’ve got some work to do.
SMACKDOWN (4/17/18)
Another show filled with surprises, and this one actually delivered. RAW’s losses are SmackDown’s gains. SmackDown’s losses… are also SmackDown’s gains. Not a lot here that made me go OH SHIT but definitely a lot that made me go, Oh Cool.
Opening angle with Styles, Rusev, English, and DANIEL BRYAN sure was a setup for a tag team match main event, though I am fine with Paige making fun of the trope and making Teddy Long references. Also, Aiden English did a rap. That was good sports entertainment.
Like I said, Jeff Hardy is one of the more reliable POPS in wrestling, and that trend continued here with him moving from RAW to SmackDown. He and Shelton had a good match. Jeff Hardy matches are typically good because people care about Jeff Hardy. They also did a nice job of messing with what seemed to be convention that Jeff would win.
Harper vs. Jey Uso brought the good action for the 60 seconds it lasted. Not sure if I should appreciate how short and to the point this match was or if I wanted more time out of it.
Remember when I was convinced last week that one-half of Usos/New Day and Bryan/AJ were headed to RAW? Good times.
SAMOA JOE on SmackDown with AJ Styles, Daniel Bryan, Jeff Hardy, Cesaro, and so on and so forth is some awesome stuff. He had a fun little squash with Sin Cara – loved him just bodying Cara off the springboard. Joe is just this scary man who gets a point across better than anybody in both his squash matches and promos. Love it.
So the IIconics have two I’s – did I miss that last week or is that new? Anyways, the Asuka reveal was fun as heck. And the Charlotte vs. Billie Kay was good solid stuff. Kay has never been my favorite in-ring but her selling chops is good shit.
AJ Styles gets his Good Brothers back…… cool. Maybe. I don’t know. Are Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson even good at pro wrestling?
R-Truth thinking he’s on RAW was a tremendous return for this wonderful ageless man.
SAnitY and ANDRADE FREAKING ALMAS getting the call-up to SmackDown is exciting. One a lot more than the other. I am a tiny bit worried about Almas and Vega getting lost in the shuffle with such a stacked roster, but them on the same show as so much quality talent is awesome.
Bryan/Styles vs. Rusev Day was a solid tag with the top 3 babyfaces on Tuesday nights. They built to a Daniel Bryan hot tag and delivered a Daniel Bryan hot tag.
“What a tragedy – can you imagine forgetting an entire language?”
Seriously, I am all in on Bryan vs. Cass. You know why? Because Daniel Bryan is awesome. I am all in on him wrestling and figuring out how to get something out of just about anybody.
SmackDown – you’ve disappointed me so much this last year. If you somehow aren’t great with THIS roster, then you can go straight to hell.
205 LIVE (4/17/18)
Eh. 205 Live seems to just be 205 Live again. Eh.
At least the matches are getting more time and they aren’t doing weird-ass stuff like Daivari Dinero and Brian Kendrick showing pictures of Jack Gallagher in clown facepaint.
Daivari vs. Mustafa Ali was pretty good stuff, Daivari seems to finally have had a fire lit under his ass – was real aggressive and pulled off some good cut-offs. Ali meanwhile was bumping like crazy for everything, including taking a nasty spinebuster on the floor.
Kendrick and Gallagher are back as a team and played basically a Skinnier Anderson Brothers as they squashed a couple lads. A headbutt to the Captain’s Hook is a cool finish.
Itami/Tozawa vs. Metalik/Dorado in a TORNADO TAG had the occasional neat spot but just no HEAT. There’s just no juice behind this feud and it’s more confusing than anything. Like, I can buy Lucha House Party as a few masked fellas who just want to have fun and fly around. But is Tozawa a dick now? Why? And doesn’t Itami just bum ya out?
They did pull off some neat stuff towards the end – the double springboard asai moonsaults to the floor and Lince’s knee bump on the steps were wild, while Itami threw a couple backfists at Lince towards the end that made me gasp.
NXT (4/18/18)
NXT is back, baby!
Maybe? I dunno. It’s OK.
Classic babyface stuff from Johnny and Candice Wrestling on this show, just a married couple that loves each other and hates bad guys together and suffered through trauma together and kicks ass together. Johnny Gargano is the man the Common Wrestling Geek can live vicariously through, what with his wrestling success and awesome matches and hot fun wife and rock-hard abs. It’s a special thing.
Ricochet vs. Fabian Aichner was cool because I love that Aichner is this hired hand who can go with whatever indy darling Triple H has brought in recently. The matches are always nice little showcases for the indy darling, but also for Aichner who does impressive power spots and flies around. I’m not sure what the future holds for Fabian Aichner. Like, I can see him doing this same shtick for years. I could also see him showing up on SmackDown and wrecking Jeff Hardy or something.
Oh, Ricochet looked good too.
WAR RAIDERS have arrived and had themselves a real nice squash against the… Metro Brothers. I didn’t love War Machine when they were doing New Japan stuff, but if they can just wreck guys for a while I am all in. Times are weird in WWE, though – Bludgeon Brothers, SAnitY, Ascension, War Raiders. Something’s got to give. I say fire everybody but Viktor.
Dug Shayna Baszler putting the entire WWE women’s locker room on notice and tearing Ember Moon’s nameplate off her locker. Tremendous.
That Sexy Kona Reeves vignette was some confounding shit. I don’t even know what to say.
Lars Sullivan vs. Killian Dain was pretty fun, but it was one of those Full Sail No DQ matches that still kind of felt a little tentative and safe. Not enough wild brawling, not enough VIOLENCE. The crossbody through the table was cool though.
Candice LeRae vs. Zelina Vega was really just a few moves surrounding Gargano and Almas on the outside unfortunately. I liked Vega’s big bump off the Candice push at the start though.
Johnny vs. Aleister – OK. Fine. I trust in Johnny Wrestling. Him as the only guy to ever pin Aleister is a good bit.
MAIN EVENT (4/18/18)
Two completely solid but forgettable matches this week on WWE Main Event, perhaps the season finale before new faces like Zack Ryder and The Ascension show up. Oh – just realized we’re going to get a lot of Zack Ryder vs. Curt Hawkins matches, aren’t we?
Curt Hawkins vs. Karl Anderson was a completely fine match to open up a live wrestling show. Not too hot, not too cold. Nice spinebuster. Gallows clapping along on the outside. Hawkins taunting. Fine. Decent.
TJP/Daivari vs. Metalik/Lince was one of those Main Event cruiserweight matches where they did all the cool stuff they do with zero juice to any of it. Kind of a good time.
WWE TV Match of the Week: Jinder Mahal vs. Jeff Hardy
WWE TV MVP of the Week: Jeff Hardy crushed it on both shows and was crazy over. DUI be damned, this guy is back and doing good at the pro wrestling.
Kind of an average week of TV, even with all the big roster shake-ups. There really weren’t any big main event roster shake-ups and that’s not a bad thing – the main events on each show were OK and just needed a some new dancing partners. But the shows themselves this week were just alright, with SmackDown again coming just ahead of RAW but more because it had some wilder roster switches and more Daniel Bryan. Anyways. Onto a new season of professional wrestling and the GREATEST RUMBLE EVER.
RAW: 6/10
SmackDown: 7/10
205 Live: 5/10
NXT: 6/10
