TL;DR: Great show, too long.
Not sure I’m going to say anything upfront that hasn’t already been said. I had a blast with this show – for a while. Everything up to and including Daniel Bryan was incredible. Everything after Bryan was a bit of a bummer, but more because it all felt like the wrong thing for 5+ hours into the show. Alexa and Nia Jax going long, Nakamura/Styles going Slow Style, the mystery Braun partner being a child, Brock and Roman just doing a bunch of finishers… all fine ideas on their own, but not 5 hours into a bloated sports entertainment extravaganza.
Regardless, a hell of a night of pro wrestling with some amazing stuff.
A serviceable Kickoff show took place in the two hours prior to the actual WrestleMania show proper. Very, very serviceable. Cedric vs. Mustafa was the highlight, while both Battle Royals had their moments but kind of bummed me out. Booker T as per usual brought the high quality banter, otherwise it was the usual Renee trying desperately to hold things together and plugging FREE FREE FREE.
Where was my Social Media Lounge at!?
The AR stuff was neat. The set looked gorgeous.
Hat tip to Cena’s facial expressions all show while he was in the crowd. Love that his casual “night out” gear is still WWE-branded – no bright green Cena shirt, but you’re damn right he’s rocking that casual gray Wrestlemania T.
0. Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal (Featuring: Kane, Woken Matt Hardy, Zack Ryder, R-Truth, Goldust, Tye Dillinger, Luke Gallows, Karl Anderson, Apollo, Titus O’Neil, Rhyno, Heath Slater, Tyler Breeze, Fandango, Dolph Ziggler, Baron Corbin, Mojo Rawley, Shelton Benjamin, Chad Gable, Scott Dawson, Dash Wilder, Bo Dallas, Curtis Axel, Aiden English, Primo, Mike Kanellis, Konnor, Viktor and Curt Hawkins)
Where were the surprises? The rando NXT Guy? The FUN? Dolph being a mark for himself with the HBK elimination teases, Mojo bodying Ryder, Lawler’s shriek on the Fandango elimination, and the cuts to Cena hamming it up in the crowd were highlights. Bray and Matt was a fun little deal too, but not much here. *3/4
0. WWE Cruiserweight Title Tournament – Final: Cedric Alexander vs. Mustafa Ali
Loved Ali’s futuristic gear. This was a mesh of fun junior heavyweight stuff combined with the intensity which 205 has been good at recently. Probably needed a bit more crazy and felt a little lukewarm for what could’ve been a career-maker, but still quality big show wrestling by two exciting young stars. The springboard Spanish Fly and Ali’s big bump to the outside were highlights. Wasn’t big on Cedric upping the aggression and stomping away at Ali during a commercial though. They got me on the 054 near fall, and I dug the emotional finish with Cedric pinning Ali and immediately getting in close and whispering sweet nothings into his ear. Drake Maverick basically crying post-match was great too – this is a GM who cares about his guys. ***1/4
0. WrestleMania Women’s Battle Royal (Featuring: Sasha Banks, Bayley, Becky Lynch, Naomi, Dana Brooke, Kairi Sane, Bianca Belair, Dakota Kai, Taynara Conti, Kavita Devi, Natalya, Mickie James, Carmella, Mandy Rose, Sonya Deville, Ruby Riott, Sarah Logan, Liv Morgan, Peyton Royce and Lana)
Not a great night for Battle Royal presentations. Had a bit more to it than the Men’s one, but it was basically a bunch of bullshit before the Sasha vs. Bayley finish… which was followed by NAOMI winning. WHAT. Hey, at least Bianca Belair got to do something cool. **
1. Triple Threat Match – WWE Intercontinental Title: The Miz [c] vs. Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor
Love a WrestleMania opener. The pomp and circumstance around the big crowd ready for the proper big show, the first really crazy entrances, the fact that you know there’s high hopes around the match that the powers that be have chosen to open the biggest show of the year (outside of the Greatest Rumble Ever, obviously). And this thing delivered. Loved White Walker Rollins. Loved Miz’ insane outfit straight out of the Hunger Games. And love Balor… coming out? I don’t know. His arm-raising entrance with 70k strong was incredible.
The match was great too. Just FAST. PACED. ACTION. A bunch of well-timed complex multi-man spots all hit smoothly, outside of a few clunky moments with The Miz, who made up for it by being the god damn Miz. Despite him not being some technical wizard, Miz still does find a way to seamlessly fit in with these workrate guys, especially in multi-mans. Rollins just WENT FOR IT with those superkicks on Finn, and busted out one hell of a WrestleMania frog splash. Some great peaks too – amazing Coup de Grace, amazing curb stomp. The powerbomb to Finn tease on the outside would’ve come off better if they didn’t just do it on RAW. Either way, great stuff and a hell of a pace-setter. ***3/4
2. SmackDown Women’s Title: Charlotte Flair [c] vs. Asuka
What a big, huge, great god damn stadium wrestling match. Talk about living up to the hype. These two went HARD and didn’t let up. Fast-paced, realistic, heated, INTENSE hold-trading that totally roped in the crowd and didn’t lose them. They built that seamlessly into some tremendous spots. The moonsault to triangle counter was PERFECT – Stone Cold described it best on his podcast… it was like Asuka was a Venus flytrap. The superplex to the floor and Spanish Fly were nuts, and I loved how both were just fighting their asses off over submissions at the end. Charlotte’s shoulder being worked over which led to her desperately struggling to keep her arm up during the figure-eight was INCREDIBLE. This match more than any on the show had the aura of REAL PRO WRESTLING and I loved that about it. Tremendous match. ****1/4
There is probably a lot to say about the Streak ending here, but I ain’t got the energy. One thing I will say: Asuka’s “Nobody’s ready for Asuka” shtick and Rumble win leading to “Charlotte was ready for Asuka!” and a hug was the lamest stuff. Prepare yourselves for the 2018 Charlotte mega-push, ladies and gentleman.
3. Fatal 4-Way Match – WWE U.S. Title: Randy Orton [c] vs. Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Rusev
This was basically a high-end NEVER Openweight 6-Man Tag Team Title match, a whole bunch of good action but just a little eh. Rusev’s RKO bump was inspired. Action! Fun! RUSEV DAY!! Jinder. ***
4. Mixed Tag Team Match: Kurt Angle & Ronda Rousey vs. Triple H & Stephanie McMahon
Now we know why Triple H vs. Kurt Angle wasn’t the match, at SummerSlam or here. Just some slow-paced late-90s WWF main event wrestling, god darn it. Otherwise? This was phenomenal. It was one of those WWE sports entertainment big event matches ala the first WrestleMania main event that was laid out for maximum fun. Charlotte and Asuka brought the show highlight ups and downs via wrestling, this brought the show highlight ups and downs via just being a freaking blast. It was built around and delivered Ronda and the crowd was biting on everything. MMA Steph was pretty hilarious – her fighting and fighting through each subsequent armbar kind of legitimately frustrated me and I’m not sure if that’s brilliant or not. Ronda vs. Triple H was some special stuff too – Triple H’s selling of her fury of punches in the corner was incredible and reminds you that despite him being the poster child for dumb silly WWE booking for almost two decades, the guy is still a total professional at this wrestling thing. A great event match, both for longtime wrestling fans and folks who might be checking this weird thing out for the first time. Brilliant. ****1/4
5. Triple Threat Tag Team Match – SmackDown Tag Team Title: The Usos [c] vs. The New Day (Big E & Kofi Kingston) w/ Xavier Woods vs. The Bludgeon Brothers
Hey – all The Usos had to do to finally get on the main WrestleMania card was become the best tag team in the world. This was fun and totally ideal cool down stuff, just a great sprint with six guys who have been killing it all year showcasing their stuff. Liked Rowan finally preventing a Tower of Doom spot and the massive powerbomb finish, dug how big but also how straightforward and effective it was. Love The New Day but I NEED Bludgeon Brothers vs. Usos again. ***1/4
The lights out troll with Elias confronting Cena instead of Undertaker was amazing. I love how Elias could very easily be an over babyface in this company but they always manage to keep his heat.
6. John Cena vs. The Undertaker
Here’s the thing about the John Cena/Undertaker build: after initial skepticism, I loved it. They successfully built back the mystique that The Undertaker lost last year when he shit the bed versus Roman. I’m bummed that it seems like we’ll never get a proper BIG Cena/Undertaker match, but Taker can’t get it done, building intrigue around the match and not over-promising anything is exactly what any promoter with half a brain should be doing. The match? It was 2 and a half minutes. Fun spectacle. Cena took a HUGE chokeslam. Taker was moving better than last year but it was still a little scary to watch him. **
Hall of Fame 2018 Presentation (Jeff Jarrett, Mark Henry, Hillbilly Jim, Ivory, Jarrius “JJ” Robertson, The Dudley Boyz and Goldberg)
Quick Hall of Fame thoughts because there is nowhere else to put them: Dudleys shouting out Spike, Jimmy Hart’s mint still-in-package Hillbilly Jim LJN figure, Jeff Jarrett namedropping Bullet Club and not TNA, everything that was Jarrius Robertson, Mark Henry’s Owen Hart plea, and Bill Goldberg – great. Everybody being a mark for themselves and going too long – terrible. God damn, Hillbilly Jim – don’t promise you’re going short then go broadway. And shut up, Kid Rock. Don’t perpetuate a culture of division and then say we all need to come together. Fuckin’ mark.
7. If Owens and Zayn Win, They Are Rehired to SmackDown: Daniel Bryan (return) & Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn
Another great EVENT match with an all-timer hot tag by the returning Daniel Bryan. It was like ol’ Ricky Morton was taking the heat for THREE YEARS and there were all these hope spots and false tags and finally, FINALLY, the best ever version of Robbie Gibson got in and just tore it up. His entrance was special, absolute goose-bumps inducing stuff. And then he did a stretcher job, which was probably unnecessary, while old man Shane did a whole bunch of crazy shit. It was fun. Owens frequently disappoints me, but then he’ll scream something like “GOOD RETURN DANIEL, HAHA” and I’ll be like: OK. You got me.
That Bryan run though… oh man. All the stars. His charisma just burning through the screen. Hitting all his stuff and somehow making it look smooth, hurtful, AND safe for him, but safe only in a way where dorks like me would notice – what a fucking professional. Strong booking for the guy too, kicking out of both finishes and tapping Zayn. Dug the hell out of him faking another concussion too before he kipped up and said GO F YOURSELF, CTE. Yes the emotion of Bryan turn carried it, but isn’t that the point? ****
8. RAW Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss [c] vs. Nia Jax
Alexa’s slap at the start was cool…. and then it just kept going, and the more time that went by the least I liked it. And it wasn’t even their fault! The Alexa stretch just was not needed; do that trash on TV. It was a fine TV match actually! Good, even! But five hours into the show? C’mon. I did completely buy the Alexa DDT near fall and Alexa sure saves her big bumps for Mania time, but… man. Fine match, wrong place. **3/4
9. WWE Title: AJ Styles [c] vs. Shinsuke Nakamura
Maaaan did Shinsuke Nakamura save that entrance swag for WrestleMania, huh? Amazing stuff. As for the match? Eh. It was good! Maybe even really good. But the angle afterwards was MUCH better than the match, which felt like everybody was waiting for a big peak that just didn’t come. Quality wrestling, sweet moves, but they had a willing and excited crowd that very quickly just began sitting on their hands and they never really got them back. I can buy slapping on holds early and working for your moves in a match that’s going long, but a hyped up Dream Match this late in the show? C’mon, guys! Needed more moments, needed another peak or to. Needed AJ shooting Nakamura with a fake gun and Nakamura fake catching it and fake eating it or something. That strike exchange sure was cool though, awesome to see that on such a big stage. Really good and at the same time a bit of a bummer. ***1/2
That heel turn, though. Wow. Such vicious stomps by Nakamura, really freaked me out. It was a cool moment but also felt like a recruiting presentation for Okada, who was in the crowd. See how cool this stuff is, man!?
10. RAW Tag Team Title: Cesaro & Sheamus [c] vs. Braun Strowman & TBD (Nicholas)
A fun bunch of bullshit, that’s all. Once again, something pretty cool tarnished by the hype behind it and its’ placement on the show. Totally makes sense to position Braun as an uber babyface if you’re going somewhere new with Roman, and I dug the idea of Braun being firmly behind the idea that he never needed any help to wreck The Bar. But like most wrestling fans, I worked myself into a shoot. Lots of possibilities, and we got… Nicholas. **
11. WWE Universal Title: Brock Lesnar [c] w/ Paul Heyman vs. Roman Reigns
The match no cranky wrestling fan wanted in front of the crankiest of all wrestling fans. Damnit! The funny thing is I still thought this was pretty high quality stuff – Brock just recklessly chucking around Reigns and Reigns selling his ass off was awesome, but this was like Don Trump showing up to a Puerto Rican earthquake and throwing paper towels at people – wrong place wrong time, maaan. Years and years of F5’s putting down everybody and Roman’s eventual kickouts getting NOTHING was indicative of a match not working. They did a whole lot of finishers and kickouts in front of a crowd that seemed to collectively cross their arms and then Brock just WON. Oh man. This company. Sometimes I laugh. Sometimes I cry.
It was still a pretty good match. ***1/4
I wonder if my enjoyment of the show was modified by heading home after the Braun tag and watching the Brock match later. Either way, an excellent wrestling show ultimately hurt by length and decision-making that held it back from being an all-timer. Still though, a total blast. Just an embarrassment of in-ring riches and talent with a ton of fun moments, entrances, costumes, big spots, and so on and so forth. It’s gonna suck if this is remembered in time for dirty diapers over the main event because this was a winner of a big major wrestling show. 9/10
