On 3/16, my wife and I had a baby. On 3/16!
Oh hell yeah.
I continue to write about the weekly sports entertainment as a cathartic escape, but the deep thought intros might subside for a while, overtaken with thoughts swimming around my head of swaddles and bottles and rocking chairs.
RAW (3/26/18)
WrestleMania season is weird. The Mania card is fantastic, things feels bigger, the main stories are HUGE, things are more focused as there’s a clear endgame, and I love seeing who they choose to give shine to. But I also miss stuff like weekly Roman Reigns classics and character development. The big stories all hit on this show, while the in-ring was just a bunch of serviceable 5-minute story matches. Nothing worth going out of your way to see in-ring, but they did what they needed to do.
Brock bodying Roman in the opening segment made me so excited for their match. Just a reckless, physical brawl – these boys can fight. Their Mania 31 match was epic and their rematch three years later is gonna be a trip. Part of me is a little bummed that Cena/Taker has taken over Roman/Brock as the “this guy isn’t here” story, but when you get brawls like this there’s not much to complain about.
Nia Jax getting a huge pop for a BODYSLAM on Mickie James is positively delightful. The press slam to Samoan drop was awesome too. Babyface Nia might be something. Might be.
Delusional Triple H and Stephanie McMahon is fun as hell, while Condescending Triple H and Stephanie McMahon is the best Triple H and Stephanie McMahon. Amazing video package with them training and commenting on Angle and Rousey, just being total pieces of trash: Triple H saying he’s been beating Angle his whole career, Stephanie saying they’ll repackage Rousey after they beat her, Stephanie actually thinking she has a shot against Rousey because she throws tires around in her personal basement gym. Blending the lines of kayfabe with the whole “We write the rules” shtick is interesting – I’m so far in the bubble I have no idea how this comes off to a non-fan, but I dug the hell out of this.
The cruiserweight tag was an OK promo package for 205 Live.
For guys feuding with him, Seth Rollins and Finn Balor are appearing on Mike the Miz’s talk show a bit too much. The Miztourage being goaded into arguing with Miz was kind of lame – especially when Finn was doing it – but the “better than Mr. Perfect” line and Miz’ regretful reaction was great. The crowd YES’ing at Miz threatening to cancel MizTV and being excited for Miz to get his ass kicked like 5 minutes after him getting “Welcome Home” chants shows just how great he is at his job. And it was all a RUSE too, with Miztourage teasing a split with Miz then attacking Finn and Seth. Awesome. Karl Anderson punching Bo as he fell out of the ring was kinda great too.
Tattooed-up Jamie Frost getting a pre-match interview and slapping the hell out of Asuka in her legit FIRST MATCH EVER only to get her ass KO’d seconds later was legitimately my favorite match on this show.
Bayley and Sasha going at it backstage in front of lockers was half hilarious half amazing – if it wasn’t obvious before, we are going full Afterschool Special here. This seems more like friendship issues than some big turn, but I am always iffy on WWE doing big stuff like this backstage using their awkward backstage production.
Braun Strowman vs. Sheamus was a god damn DREAM MATCH. I loved how they kept things moving – these are two big boys who had to stay on each other to win. Braun deadlifting Sheamus for the powerslam finish was sweet.
The Ronda Rousey promo had some good lines with questionable delivery (“PERSONAL TRAINER TOUGH”). The Absolution stuff had some good structure with questionable delivery. Haven’t decided yet if the Rousey promos are charming or stupid – either way it’s going to feel like a massive god damn deal when she steps between those ropes in New Orleans.
Elias vs. Rhyno was one of those matches where Elias gets his ass beat but eventually wins. The post-match beatdown on Slater was better than anything bell-to-bell.
John Cena vs. Kane impressed me just for how solid it was for a match straight out of 2011 WWE. The first half was just the match ya have with Kane at this point in his career, between the aging and the fact that he’s running for MAYOR OF KNOX COUNTY, with smoke and mirrors, brawling in the crowd, yadda yadda. It was very much a fine No DQ house show main event. But between Cena taking a suplex on a guardrail and a nasty table bump and all of Cena’s Undertaker call-outs (the sit-up, the throat slash, and the chokeslam), it actually got kind of awesome.
SMACKDOWN (3/27/18)
SmackDown has been a little better recently and I attribute that to three things:
- They are forced to actually build to a big WrestleMania card versus some 5-way or Owens/Sami bullshit.
- Shane McMahon has disappeared.
- DANIEL F’ING BRYAN
The Orton/Roode vs. Jinder/Rusev opener was a tag match that got some TIME (15 minutes on WWE TV!) but I’m not sure it was better for that or anything. All we got were double heat segments, one on Randy one on Roode, and those two aren’t exactly Ricky Morton. The “babyface tags out the other babyface he’s feuding with and the other babyface doesn’t realize it” is SUCH a weak trope – didn’t work on RAW with Cedric and Ali, didn’t work here
Rusev winning and getting in the US Title match is the good stuff though – he more than deserves it, the match just became infinitely more interesting, and the Mania crowd is going to go nuts for him.
Becky Lynch vs. Ruby Riott was a match predicated on Becky’s ability to sell and get a crowd into a comeback – so yeah it worked. The rapid-fire elbows were awesome. Nice little TV match.
This was a show that had another incredible Daniel Bryan promo. After all the stilted interactions he had with Shane McMahon over the past six months, seeing this is just amazing. The guy is wearing his excitement at returning to the ring on his sleeve, baby – he’s like Dusty Rhodes for nerds.
Loved the crowd hanging on his every word and just losing it when he announced himself as Shane’s partner, then the understated seriousness of the match announcement melding into slow explanation of him being tired of his GM job (“I’m sick of meetings!”), the taking off of his blazer or whatever the hell it was, and the intensity of going off on his return and Owens and Zayn. “DANIEL BRYAN IS BACK AND DANIEL BRYAN WILL FIGHT AT WRESTLEMANIA.” “I’M GONNA KICK THEIR ASS.” CLASSIC.
A solid New Day promo followed but not sure they’ve ever addressed The Usos legitimate criticism of them just goofing around.
New Day vs. Bludgeon Brothers was a cool little TV match. Was a big fan of New Day going right after Harper and staying on him until they just got bodied with big man dropkicks. Harper & Rowan have overcome the dumb costumes and are just firing on all cylinders right now. There is such an extra behind everything they do, and I love that they don’t just cut off the ring like a regular tag team – they wreck a guy and then go wreck the other guy on the apron before he’s even tagged in.
Ziggler vs. Breeze was a couple minutes of TV time to remind folks that the Andre Battle Royal is still happening.
Nakamura vs. Shelton Benjamin was a fun as heck enhancement main event. Nakamura appears to have brushed off his two years of ring rust in preparation for the AJ match, which is an exciting development. He threw out a bunch of fun offense and triangle struggle and countering towards the end was cool stuff.
Dug the show-closing promo too. Nakamura calling Styles AJ too emotional is some STUFF, as was him patting poor AJ’s head. WWE is utilizing the charisma and mystique of Nakamura really well heading into Mania.
MIXED MATCH CHALLENGE (3/27/18)
Kurt Angle awkwardly holding his cell phone to interact with the Facebook fans was wonderful. All of our heroes are old men now.
Beth Phoenix meanwhile seems to finally be finding her commentary voice and her commentary voice appears to be just shitting on Corey Graves. I like it.
Balor/Sasha vs. Roode/Becky was a fun match. Sasha and Becky were working like they missed each other, while Finn and Bobby were working like they were opening a Maple Leaf Gardens show. Armdrags, baby! The Sasha tope on Bobby was sweet. Liked this quite a bit.
205 LIVE (3/27/18)
I liked how all three segments on this show – two matches, one promo – were all about how every guy on 205 NEEDS that Cruiserweight Title. Cedric and Ali were passionate about going to WrestleMania to fight for that belt, while all the guys wrestling were fighting their asses off to get in contention for it.
Mark Andrews vs. Tony Nese had a serious lack of energy for a bit and was more exhibition-y than anything but I still liked it. The moonsault catch into the tornado DDT was absolutely batty, while the near falls and intense strikes at the end were the cherry on top. Was kind of fascinating to watch all this crazy stuff get absolute silence. I love that these guys were desperately fighting for a match with DREW GULAK too.
The Cedric/Ali face-off wasn’t some classic segment but got the point across – these guys are friends, these guys have motivation. Could be a lot worse.
The shot of TJP on the stairs backstage sipping coffee and playing on his phone was the best thing he’s done since the CWC.
The TJP vs. Buddy Murphy vs. Kalisto vs. Akira Tozawa 4-way was pretty awesome. Just a bunch of crazy stuff that popped the dwindling crowd. You had TJP’s wacky double submissions, Kalisto flying around like he wanted a last minute Mania spot, Buddy working like he wanted somebody – anybody – to notice him, and Kalisto and Tozawa building some HEAT between them. The Kalisto/Buddy tornado DDT spot was more impressive than the already awesome Andrews/Nese one, and the surfboard/pin/senton spot was INCREDIBLE – I have never seen that one before.
Good for BUDDY!
NXT (3/28/18)
The whole presentation of this show was really cool, with the Ciampa/Gargano announcement to start, EC3 debut right afterwards, Ember and Shayna’s surprise brawl at the PC, Cathy Kelley tracking Regal all show announcing NA Title Ladder Match participants until the Ricochet reveal at the end, and the camera waiting for Almas’ arrival all show which led to the Almas attack on Black during Dakota Kai’s entrance. Just good chaotic fun. It’s NXT’s Road to WrestleMania, bay-beeee.
Liked the cold open with Ciampa and Regal leading to the Unsanctioned Match announcement. “This time, you’re gonna have to do it yourself” was a nice touch – Bill Regal is such a cheeky GM.
Oh so EC3 is just gonna be a superstar now huh? The lovechild of Tino Sabbatelli and Colt Cabana sounds weird on paper but this thing might just work. Strong debut promo. Strong theme song too.
I like how something crazy always happens in the background of these Performance Center interviews. How much footage has hit the cutting room floor because it was just boring-ass TM61 droning on and on about setbacks and didn’t have Ember Moon and Shayna Baszler randomly throwing hands?
Street Profits vs. Authors of Pain was three minutes of fun. Ford FREAKING OUT at Dawkins throwing around the Authors was great.
Lars Sullivan beat some ass on this show and that’s a very good thing.
Neat attack by Almas on Black in the parking lot during Dakota Kai’s entrance. This feud has kind of cooled Black off a bit for me but Almas’ stock continues to rise and he feels like a guy ready to main event multiple pay-per-views. Poor Dakota – girl just can’t catch a break.
SAnitY vs. Roderick Strong/Pete Dunne might’ve been the worst Pete Dunne match in WWE since he appeared. SAnitY just doesn’t work for me in these longish tag matches, man. Dunne and Roddy did their shtick but didn’t bring it beyond just some basic-ass tag. Felt like something New Japan would’ve run as match #4 in Long Beach. The assisted Bitter End was a neat idea but had no impact.
Cathy was just stalking the heck out of Regal on this show, getting the STORY. What a journalist! All the Regal announcements for the North American Title Ladder Match leading to Ricochet at the end was awesome.
MAIN EVENT (3/28/18)
Titus Worldwide vs. The Revival was alright, nice to see Revival get a little time for the first time in like a year. They worked over Apollo and it was solid. Cool Shatter Machine setup for the finish too. You know, Top Guys usually are in the Main Event. Right? Right?? This is good. This is fine. The Revival is fine.
Lucha House Party (ugh) vs. Gallagher/Nese/Daivari was another OK reliable 120 seconds of Main Event action with the heel beatdown completely cut out. I am so interested in who made the call to do that for all these cruiserweight matches. These are like the NOAH 6-man openers – same stuff every time but it works enough for the live crowd, and instead of spitting spots there’s Metalik doing backflips.
WWE TV Match of the Week: That 205 Live 4-Way – Kalisto vs. Akira Tozawa vs. TJP vs. Buddy Murphy
WWE TV MVP of the Week: It’s still Daniel Bryan. It’s going to be Daniel Bryan for a while.
Heck of a week of TV. RAW and SmackDown continued their builds to Mania with some strong angles and promos, while 205 Live brought the wrestling and NXT brought the compelling presentation. Good stuff.
RAW: 7/10
SmackDown: 7/10
205 Live: 8/10
NXT: 9/10
