Hey! We’re on the Road to WrestleMania. And we are in the fast lane. And at some point we will have to get out of the fast lane and take the WrestleMania exit.
The Kickoff Show was not exactly compelling, but Booker T was gold all show. RAW needs you back, Book.
WWE going for a sports feel with Charly Caruso bringing analysis from the backstage area is kind of cool. I am so de-sensitized to WWE’s wackiness that I am not sure if this would come off as interesting or stupid to a non-fan.
The Dolph Ziggler “this is my opportunity to prove I’m the best” promo is a little played out. At some point, you eventually need to actually be the best. Did like him popping the Kickoff panel though.
Corey Graves: “Me? I’m incredible.”
0. Tye Dillinger & Breezango vs. Mojo Rawley, Shelton Benjamin & Chad Gable
Other than every dropkick thrown in this match missing by at least twelve inches, this six-man was what we call a crowd pleaser. Hijinks and signature spots, baby. Breeze’s monkey flip bump was golden. **3/4
Aiden English’s poetry intro for Rusev was one for the record books.
1. Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Rusev w/ Aiden English
Just a quality wrestling match – they took their time building it up, but everything they did was credible and the crowd bought in and made it all heated and stuff. The finish was incredible too: the big Rusev kick kickout, kick exchange, and all the drama leading to the Macha Kick counter of the Kinshasa which was absolutely mind-altering. Nakamura’s bump made that thing – might’ve been an all-timer. Slow build, credible work, hot finish – hey, it’s a New Japan Pro Wrestling main event. I’d like to see Rusev work a G1 one day. ***1/4
2. WWE U.S. Title: Bobby Roode [c] vs. Randy Orton
This was kind of brilliant but also kind of lost me there for a bit. I’m not sure how to properly convey how conflicted I was in watching this. It was basically top notch pro wrestling that didn’t completely get me. It was Randy Orton doing the WWE style he has mastered and willing the crowd into it eventually. Maybe it was excellent. Maybe stretches of it were a chore and it was a little too clean. I don’t know.
I loved the first 5 minutes, as it felt like a studio wrestling TV Title match for a bit: battles for control that were timed so well that the WRESTLING was getting over Columbus. A Randy Orton leapfrog legitimately got a “YEAH!” reaction. They slowed it down for a good 10-15 and got some restless Byron Saxton chants, but it’s like Randy just said fuck em – we’ll get em back. And then they did get em back. An RKO outta nowhere is always fun. ***1/2
3. Becky Lynch & Naomi vs. Natalya & Carmella
A Natalya & Carmella heat segment might not have been the best thing to follow Randy and Bobby doing a slow build. Carmella slapping Naomi and going to work kind of good though. This was sooooooooooooooo OK. **
4. SmackDown Tag Team Title: The Usos [c] vs. The New Day (Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods) w/ Big E
These two teams bring just the best tag team wrestling. The Usos movements early were so fast and so smooth, loved Jimmy hitting a superkick and just standing there like he was the best wrestler of all time. And then they proceeded to have a classic Usos/New Day match but with them doing each other’s spots. And that is kind of an amazing special thing to pull off. Usos Unicorn Stampede, Kofi running ass, Jimmy Boom Drop, Usos Midnight Hour, Kofi Superfly. The crowd was eating it up… and then it just ENDED. Bludgeon Brothers run-in. Double DQ. The End.
Ya couldn’t give a finish and do a Bludgeon Brothers run-in after the match? Especially after billing it as the two GOAT tag teams colliding? Beautiful brutal beatdown by the Bludgeon Brothers regardless. And a great match while it lasted. ***1/2
The scene of everyone just demolished outside, with Woods shaking as he was being stretchered, was something else. The Bludgeon Brothers beatdown was basically a ***1/2 match itself.
5. SmackDown Women’s Title: Charlotte Flair [c] vs. Ruby Riott
This was a great showcase of Big Match Charlotte as well as just what Ruby Riott is capable of. Very cool match, if not maybe lacking a big moment. Charlotte does great Big Title Match Hold-Trading, and Riott can go in that department. Liked Riott stretching Charlotte and and all the CHOPS too. Was anyone else distracted by the tag sticking out of Ruby’s pants though? No? Anyways, I liked this. ***1/4
The SHRIEKS and REALIZATIONS of Asuka challenging Charlotte were so fucking great. Such an awesome moment.
6. Six-Pack Challenge – WWE Title: AJ Styles [c] vs. John Cena vs. Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Baron Corbin
Fast-paced heated non-stop high energy craziness – basically best case scenario for this one. It’s not like these guys aren’t good or anything, and they went balls hanging completely out.
Good showcase segments like Cena vs. The World, Baron Corbin wrecking Owens with a clothesline, wrecking AJ with a Deep Six, and wrecking Ziggler by throwing him across the entire ring, and them getting a LOT out of the usually overplayed steel steps.
Fun spots like a perfect backflip reverse DDT, the nasty-looking superkick by Owens on Shane, and Styles exploding through the table.
Great exchanges like Cena vs. AJ, AJ vs. Owens, and Owens vs. Zayn.
A world class AJ Styles performance too – tearing it up with Cena, making Owens seem compelling, bumping and flying and being over as shit. A fun as hell match. ****
Nothing blowaway great or maybe even must-see, but there was so much good quality wrestling here. Five great and most importantly different types of matches. As per usual not sure I am compelled by the SmackDown brand, but all the wrestlers are pretty good. 7/10
