Haha what is Triple H doing on TV every week all of the sudden? Silly wrestling.
RAW (3/5/18)
Look – the structure and pacing of 3-hour Monday Night RAW remains generally good and after the last few years that is a miracle.
But this is also WrestleMania season and there are some clear gaps from the awesome RAW’s of the last six months, and it’s not just that Jason Jordan is missing.
We’ve got a bloated card that needs to get built to so everything kind of gets shuffled around and people are shoehorned into where they need to go and it’s all OK but not that great.
The matches become less about telling stories in the ring and more place-setting for this big-ass card we’ve got to get to.
There wasn’t anything outright bad on this show but it also didn’t get me revving like recent RAW’s have managed to.
The opening promo with Angle, Rousey, Trips and Steph was on one hand cool dumb sports entertainment. On the other hand, I can see past a lot of WWE’s weirdness but I just can’t shake Tripe H and Steph just showing up for this match when none of this Authority BS means anything 75% of the year. And seriously – WHAT WAS WITH THAT GOD DAMN SURVIVOR SERIES FINISH?
The promo was a promo. The match announcement was a match announcement – Rousey’s timing on the “you” which interrupted Steph’s drumroll started might have been mis-timed or might have been hilarious. I dunno. Stephanie bailing on Ronda was nice. That Samoan Drop by Ronda was DISGUSTING. I GASPED.
The whole thing was OK. As far as the big picture, badass Ronda Rousey coming for bitchass Stephanie McMahon is awesome. And it’ll have payoffs like that crazy Samoan drop. In WWE, it’s not necessarily about the journey – it’s about the moments.
Sidenote: I love when WWE decides to become a shoot promotion on the road to Mania – Reigns calling out Brock’s part-time status, Steph calling out Angle’s alimony payments. Wild.
Asuka vs. Nia Jax was a bit of a fast food version of their usual epic but still kind of awesome. These two have one of the best dynamics in wrestling. Loved Asuka trying to put Jax in submissions and getting rejected. The whirly-bird slam, Samoan drop near fall, and HUGE Gorilla Press Slam were awesome. I miss a good Gorilla Press Slam. Dug the never-ending armbar finish, and really liked how it was similar to Ember Moon vs. Shayna Baszler but the roles were reversed, as you were rooting for the tap not the escape. Nia might’ve had a few ugly spots, but her disappointed slow-mo tapout was AWESOME.
The Bar vs. The Revival was a match between two teams who I think are great but also two teams known for their heel beatdowns, so it ended up them just going back-and-forth to silence. I did not get into it. The Revival Power-Plex and the Brouge kick to block the Shatter Machine were highlights. A gourdbuster not even getting a 2 count seemed like a dick move from somebody. Poor Revival.
Cena’s pre-Fastlane promo was kind of VERY LOUD FOR NO REASON. Didn’t have enough awesome nuance like the last couple of weeks. Cena vs. Styles vs. Nakamura as a Mania match is just stupid enough to work, even though it will not happen. C’mon, WWE. The curveball is only a curveball when you don’t see it coming.
GOLDUST interrupting John Cena was a special moment though. Goldust vs. John Cena FIRST TIME EVER in March 2018 on Monday Night RAW is what dreams are made of. It wasn’t any good, but damnit if it wasn’t weird enough to still enjoy.
Bayley vs. Mandy Rose was a weak match with some impressive stuff from Mandy Rose. That stalling vertical to a standing elbow was nice. And did you see that KNEE!? All a wrestler needs is a good KNEE and I’m into it.
Bayley pushing away from Sasha’s hug was kind of LOL and kind of awesome, so honestly a perfect wrestling segment.
I am amazed every single week by Elias and Braun. How is Elias such a good promo? How can he just play piano now? And how does Braun consistently nail every wild fun segment he is put in? HE HELD A CAR BACK THIS WEEK. AND IT WAS AWESOME.
The Falls Count Anywhere Symphony of Destruction Match (!) was tremendous dumb fun. Braun does the best garbage brawls – there’s such a sense of WTF ARE THEY GOING TO DO to them. Plus this one had MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS. Braun playing and smashing Elias with the piano was incredible chaos.
Stop trying to rehab Bray Wyatt. It’s not going to happen.
The Hardy Compound making its’ debut was cool though. Matt looks so happy there.
The Miz is great, Oscar jokes not so much. Those lame jokes were totally redeemed when The Miz bantered poor Finn Balor into a submission so that harsh all he could do was that goofy-ass smile. “To be over… you need more than just a hand sign that’s not even yours.” Love The Miz.
Seth Rollins/Finn Balor vs. The Miz & The Miztourage was a basic tag match but hit the notes it needed to and had a fun dynamic to it, outside of the awkward Balor/Rollins “we’re arguing!” stuff. Balor flexing was something else, man. Miztourage took everything with gusto too – the Performance Center is there for guys like Finn and Elias, but it’s also there to train future competent jobbers like Bo Dallas. Amazing catch on that Balor tope.
Excited for Miz vs. Seth vs. Balor and hope it stays that way.
Paul Heyman did a Paul Heyman promo that was probably one of the better Paul Heyman promos in recent memory. He mentioned the UFC! He did wordplay with The Wild Samoans! He called the Universal Title “Brock Lesnar’s Bitch!” It all felt very big but maybe lacking a little electricity.
SMACKDOWN (3/6/18)
I dunno, man. A completely OK wrestling show but NOTHING must-see.
The show has kind of sort of improved but moreso because I am only rolling my eyes into the back of my head due to sheer confusion maybe once every two hours, not five times. The stupid has momentarily subsided, but nothing’s got any JUICE. We need some juice!
The Charlotte/Ruby Riott face-off was… a face-off. Imagine being Ruby Riott and getting that 2-page script handed to you. I root for Ruby, but there is no credibility to her mean girl character. The Charlotte impassioned promo on being second generation was kind of OK. Charlotte being smitten by Roode was kind of funny. It’s the little things, you know?
Not positive I felt one way or another about Orton vs. Mahal. This is a serviceable pairing of two competent pro wrestlers that just wasn’t great when it was a main event match and was just barely good here as a TV match. Good for Mahal… ?
Hey, remember when the Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn characters were killed off at Survivor Series so they could get to a Triple H/Braun Strowman finish that wasn’t followed up on?
Anyways, SmackDown is trying to add a little intrigue to Owens and Zayn but I find myself confused more than anything. I used to think the payoff would be something cool, but that thought has disappeared. Zayn says he’ll lay down at Fastlane, but if he does or if he doesn’t – who gets over? Will we do a 180 and Owens turns face? But how do we get there if he tries to take the easy win? Or do they both just lose and continue on as if nothing happened? ARGGGGHHHHHHH
Liked the Usos/New Day video package. That should main event Fastlane.
Nakamura vs. Rusev Day wasn’t exactly a compelling exchange but Naamura singing NAKAMURA DAAAY was a genuine classic.
Becky vs. Carmella was alright. More than anything I just miss seeing Becky Lynch wrestle.
I am a fan of Natalya upping the crazy costume get-ups even when she is only appearing backstage. Natalya/Carmella vs. Becky/Naomi at Fastlane – hey, at least they’re trying… ?
The AJ Styles promo was solid – less joking AJ, more pandering AJ. And pandering AJ might be better. The idea of AJ Styles fighting for US!!! THE WRESTLING FAN!!! is a little much but I liked it. Cena WOULD get in the way of the AJ/Nak match! He WOULD! I grinned at stupid Dolph dropping the “facts don’t care about your feelings” line – talk about pandering to your demographic.
Remember when AJ Styles and Dolph Ziggler were buddies last week?
AJ Styles vs. Dolph Ziggler was fine, but SmackDown and Dolph have lost me. AJ always shows up when he needs to, but these matches are just completely forgettable. The JUICE, man. It’s missing the juice! AJ and Dolph working the mat and running the ropes was the good stuff. Ziggler in control was not. And then Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn attacked them.
Fucking Shane. Fatal 5-Way? WHO’S GETTING OVER?
Did you hear that pop for Baron Corbin being revealed as the fifth man in the Fatal 5-Way Match? No?
The Fatal 5-Way was I don’t know, wrestling moves? Kind of heatless moves. There was a Tower of Doom spot. Yep. And they picked up the pace towards the end. All it really made me think was that the Fastlane main event is gonna be real bad. The Phenomenal Forearm block by Corbin with a punch and the perfect backflip DDT by Styles and Zayn were good. That Zayn win got a pop too.
Deep sigh.
MIXED MATCH CHALLENGE (3/6/18)
That long awkward shot of Roode and Charlotte on their cell phones sure was a thing, huh?
Braun Strowman & Alexa Bliss vs. Jimmy Uso & Naomi was a better-than-average Mixed Match Challenge match with some good bits – Naomi hugging Jimmy before he was fed to Braun, Jimmy bumping for Braun, Jimmy and Naomi’s strategy being to not tag Jimmy in, those nasty Jimmy superkicks to Braun, Alexa being caught by Braun, and the true highlight: “Strowman just caught Jimmy Uso in a foot race!”
205 LIVE (3/6/18)
Here we had two pretty good, though not high-end Cruiserweight Title tournament matches. They kind of spoiled us with the first few weeks, eh? Even if stuff like Cedric vs. Metalik and Kalisto vs. Sin Cara were under the guise of OH MY GOD THEY ARE REALLY DOING THIS, they were still incredible wrestling matches.
I do like how they just give these guys time though, even if it doesn’t always work. Here’s your canvas – go do something. The WWE desperately needs more of that.
Drew Gulak vs. Mark Andrews was a great dynamic, pretty good wrestling match. Gulak just roughly throwing Andrews around and keeping him in armbars was the good stuff, so good that Nigel made a Johnny Valentine reference. Gulak of course also took all of Andrews flying perfectly… the rana off the apron was completely nuts, and the lariat counter of the dive off the top was even better.
The Mustafa Ali video from the STREETS OF CHICAGO was pretty cool – the longer one online was even better. More stuff like that please.
Tozawa & Itami together is a very WWE idea, but also not a terrible idea. I still think Apollo & Tozawa is the ideal, but here we are. They had a solid straightforward squash against a couple fellas, one of whom looked just like Pat Tomasulo of Chicago’s WGN News. If the 205 Live Tag Team Titles are real, then this and the Lucha squash are how you get that started.
LOL’d at the Drake Maverick “take two” flub making it to air… always fun to see that stuff sneak through. Drake is such a TV STAR.
Buddy Murphy vs. Mustafa Ali was a match that did not hit for me but I still root for Mustafa Ali. There were a lot of awesome bits, but they didn’t come together as a great match. Buddy’s arm selling was a bit much. The “shhhh” gimmick might get over in a smaller arena, but on 205 Live it just seemed like a rib. Loved Ali’s nasty dropkick and spin kick to the face, Buddy taking the facebuster on his head, and the 450 to the arm which was absolute insanity.
NXT (3/7/18)
Hmmmmm this was a generally alright show.
The Authors of Pain vs. TM61 was pretty good, but I was more struck by where these two teams are at in their careers. For example, The Authors of Pain have gotten a lot better at dishing out rough beatings. It made me wonder what poor Performance Center trainees are being thrown around to ensure the AoP looks good on TV. God bless them. TM61 meanwhile – I just don’t know. They’re gonna win the Cruiserweight Tag Team Titles aren’t they?
Anyways, the powerbomb dump to the apron was completely ridiculous. The match was alright.
I liked the character-building element of the Dunne/Roddy vs. Undisputed Era backstage thing but it was kind of awkward. Pete Dunne appears to be growing up.
Bianca Belair squashes are all about the presence, baby. Was the match more than 20 seconds? Did anything look very credible? I dunno – maybe not. But she spins around at her entrance and comes off as a STAR.
NXT is still nailing the Tommaso Ciampa thing. Him snatching the Johnny Wrestling sign away and legit scaring a fan gave me LIFE.
Killian Dain vs. Aleister Black was a big boy and a kick boy going at it. It started hot, lost a little steam, and overall was a pretty good time. TREMENDOUS Black Mass to finish it.
MAIN EVENT (3/7/18)
Main Event is still a thing.
Curt Hawkins vs. Apollo had a vaguely inventive spot where Hawkins asked Dana Brooke for a good luck kiss, so she had him close his eyes and he got a kick to the face and a moonsault.
Kalisto/Gran Metalik vs. Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese was like all Main Event cruiserweight matches now, a start and a finish with no middle. It had some cool stuff, yanno?
There is just something special about Metalik’s win reaction getting a half-second before a quick transition to a recap of the Paul Heyman promo from RAW.
WWE TV Match of the Week: Asuka vs. Nia Jax
WWE TV MVP of the Week: Multi-instrumentalist Elias
There was some big stuff here and there as the WrestleMania card is shaping up, but this was kind of a middling week of WWE TV. Weaker in-ring than usual too. Not terrible, just lacking.
RAW: 6/10
SmackDown: 6/10
205 Live: 6/10
NXT: 6/10
