Hiroyoshi Tenzan, Jushin Thunder Liger, Tiger Mask, Ryusuke Taguchi & KUSHIDA vs. Yuji Nagata, Tomoyuki Oka, Shota Umino, Tetsuhiro Yagi & Ren Narita
Fun little opener with Umino acting as an effective ring leader for his posse of spunky young lions. Nagata and Tenzan have a bit of veteran professional wrestling and the crowd is way into it. All Liger does in this match is break up a Boston crab by slapping Umino square in the face. Perfect. KUSHIDA with the Hoverboard lock on Shota for the tapout. **1/4
Juice Robinson, David Finlay & Henare vs. Hirooki Goto, Tomohiro Ishii & Toru Yano
Juice has completely WILD new pants and entrance gear that makes him look like like the world’s furriest Backstreet Boy. Henare/Ishii blood feud rages on for your viewing pleasure. Yano/Finlay is the ULTIMATE BATTLE OF PALENESS. Juice working the crowd like a pro and busting out the Juice Punches on all three CHAOS members is great. Goto with the Ushigoroshi and GTR on Henare for the win. **1/2
SHO & YOH © vs. BUSHI & Hiromu Takahashi vs. Yoshinobu Kanemaru & El Desperado – 3-Way Tag Match – IWGP Jr Tag Team Title
Total blast of a match with everyone working at light speed and making the best of the 3-way tag stipulation, something that is not easy to do. They brought back the SHO back injury storyline to great effect, making for a compelling mid-portion where the whole crowd got behind Roppongi 3K. Desperado has a new mask with an open mouth space and cool skull makeup underneath that makes him a lot more expressive. I dig it. Him and Kanemaru play their basic villainous henchmen roles to perfection while the other four guys just pop the crowd non-stop. The ending is some truly intricate shit as LIJ’s plan to CHEAT 2 WIN backfires on them when Suzuki-Gun just plain out-cheat them and end up stealing the belts. I wasn’t happy when I read the results, but the whole finish worked surprisingly well. So much fun. ***1/2
YOSHI-HASHI vs. SANADA
Taco and SANADA are two guys that have this weirdly solid chemistry together and it’s a fascinating thing because they are on completely opposite ends of the spectrum. YOSHI’s a guy that tries super hard but that will never get over as a believable top guy, while SANADA barely tries and still comes off as a total superstar. Before EVIL got injured, this was meant to be a throwaway tag match, but what we got here was soooo much better. YOSHI and SANADA continuing their hot streak from New Beginning by putting on their working boots and working a hell of a match. A whole bunch of crisp, well thought-out wrestling that engaged the crowd all the way through.
SANADA’s slowly but surely adding more emotion and crowd interaction to his act and I swear, if he keeps it up he will be a STAR. The spot where SANADA hooks the Skull End over the guardrail and then starts dragging YOSHI around the floor is pure money and possibly the deadliest-looking use of that submission I’ve seen in New Japan. Lots of shockingly-riveting submissions near the finish, a real battle between YOSHI’s Butterfly lock and the Skull End, setting up the beautiful Moonsault finish for a big reaction. Man, these two are having an awesome year so far. Sadly, I don’t think this means much for YOSHI-HASHI, but SANADA is going places. ***1/2
Tetsuya Naito vs. Taichi
My friends, the HEAVYWEIGHT TAICHI ERA is upon us and this match is a great way to kickstart it. This match is all bombs, all the time: two guys trying out kill each other while being total dicks about it and Taichi proving he can easily hang with the big boys. Naito gets wiped out by a Powerbomb on the ramp during his entrance and the ensuing Taichi showboating is a true spectacle. The crazy thing is that despite him being a piece of shit, the crowd really gets into Taichi as the match progresses because the dude works his ass off.
People tend to forget that Taichi used to be Toshiaki Kawada’s protégé back in All Japan’s post-Muto Apocalypse era and he just goes ALL OUT in this one with All Japan/Dangerous K references: the step kicks to the face, massive Powerbomb into the sliding pin, the no-look enzuigiri to counter a German suplex and finally an absolutely neck-shattering DANGEROUS BACKDROP that Naito took like he was fearlessly embracing his own death. I loved all of it. A few reviews back, I mentioned my bewilderment at Naito being downgraded from Tokyo Dome headliner to MIDCARD ACE, but this match and the YOSHI-HASHI match are making me eat my words. This is like The Rock working his magic with The Hurricane and Booker T and getting all of these midcard guys over.
I literally jumped out of my chair when Naito broke Taichi’s mic stand over his head before the last Destino. Everything about this worked perfectly. Heavyweight Taichi got over huge and Naito showed he’s the man in any situation. ***3/4
Minoru Suzuki © vs. Togi Makabe – IWGP Intercontinental Title
This match is Minoru Suzuki making his case for the Wrestler of the Year crown, carrying TOGI MAKABE to a super solid wrestling contest with huge drama and epic violence. Minoru uses pretty much the same formula as in the Tokyo Dome match with Goto, baiting Makabe into stiff forearm exchanges and getting furious at him for not hitting hard enough. I can’t really blame him, as old Togi’s forearm strikes look laughably light until Minoru finally gets him to GO HARD. These two guys have such great facial expressions that I could watch them trade shots all day. There’s a few hiccups when Makabe has to do anything other than striking or selling. Dude can’t move so well anymore and there’s some awkward miscommunication here and there.
That being said, this is still very much a miracle match and the last third is filled with so much goodness. Suzuki going after the leg like the blood-thirsty son of a bitch that he is, Makabe digging deep and unleashing his Big Match Only SPIDER GERMAN SUPLEX, Suzuki with the freaking WORLD’S BEST DROPKICK, the slap rush of death and one last forearm showdown that had some of the loudest thuds ever heard in a New Japan ring. In end, Suzuki is too fast, too clever and too evil for broken down Makabe. This reminded me a lot of the Kenny/Switchblade match: a total one-man show with the better wrestler working around his opponent’s limits. ***1/2
Kazuchika Okada vs. Will Ospreay
Let’s get this out of the way: Ospreay tweeted some dumbass shit about International Women’s Day, so I’m deducting 0.25 stars from this match. That’s what you get for being a Twitter twat, Bill Ospreay. Yeah, I actually enjoyed most of this, save for a few spots where Ospreay crossed the line with his corniness. I thought the opening British mat-work exchange was well done and made sense in the larger context of this thing: these guys are friends and stablemates, so yes they will have a Competitive Wrestling Match rather than a hateful shoot fight. It was also a fine setup for one of the match’s main themes: Okada being thoroughly unimpressed by Ospreay’s shit and matching him in terms of athletics and speed.
On one hand, Okada looks so bored with Ospreay at times that it almost sucks the energy out the match. On the other hand, Okada’s Unimpressed Ace act is a hilarious contrast to Ospreay’s ridiculous over-acting, so I was fully on board with it. The spot where Ospreay teases the Rainmaker pose, then slowly stops mid-way and mumbles ‘’I’m my own fucking man’’ made me roll my eyes so hard that I almost lost my contact lenses. OSPREAY BEING OSPREAY. Okada acting like the god damn Ace and clobbering this dude with forearms and punt-kicks was great, as were all of his mind blowing dropkick counters to Billy’s high spots.
Finish was what you’d expect from a big Okada match, lotsa’ fast-paced reversals until a wild spinning Tombstone and the Rainmaker. Ospreay even over-sells the drama of the post-match handshake. Chill out bro, this isn’t the Golden Lovers reuniting or some shit. Okada makes up for it by calling out Gedo for his next title defense (LOL) and being an adorable dork. Love this man. ***3/4
I dug the crap out of this show. It felt like a rock-solid G1 Climax card, with four awesome singles matches approaching the delicious four star mark. And here’s what this tells me: New Japan needs to stop being afraid of running singles matches outside of the G1. Naito elevating midcard scum in singles competition is great stuff. SANADA and YOSHI-HASHI randomly having a super fun match together is also great stuff. Hugely refreshing change of pace from all the 8-man tag matches. The good news is the New Japan Cup is NEXT, so we’ll be getting more of that sweet singles wrestling action in a minute.
