Sometimes I wonder to myself – is wrestling even any good?
This is cynical-ass business that has been led by the same old boys network for decades, that is only just recently emerging from a generation filled almost universally with con men, that has spit up and chewed out so many lives for years and years.
It doesn’t help that if you watch it with the eyes of someone who doesn’t “get it” – it’s usually really bad. These weird exposition promos, these TV matches that you can only occasionally buy as legitimate, the forced promotion and stilted match-making and scripted promos and general awkwardness. The shows have their peaks, and lately they’ve been legitimately really good – but as things designed to attract anybody but the nerdiest wrestling fan, unless Braun Strowman is tipping ambulances the batting average is not high.
But then there’s weekends like this. Weeks like this. Weekends and weeks with things like Johnny Gargano and Andrade “Cien” Almas executing such a beautiful, dramatic pro wrestling match that re-enforces the true art of just straight-up in-ring wrestling. Things like new school stars Roman Reigns, Finn Balor, Shinsuke Nakamura and Sasha Banks squaring off with old school stars like John Cena, Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio and Trish Stratus in the confinements of a Royal Rumble. Things like Braun Strowman trying to murder Kane. Like The Miz being The Miz. Like Strowman, Alexa Bliss, Sami Zayn and Becky Lynch just having FUN in a wrestling ring and it bursting through the computer screen.
And I go to myself – yeah. The wrestling is good.
MIXED MATCH CHALLENGE (1/30/18)
I am going to do something a little different this week and start with my thoughts on the Mixed Match Challenge, because this was an absolute revelation of a television show / wrestling show / streaming thing on Facebook Watch. Sky is blue, grass is green, any WWE TV match that appears on TV is over-produced. Good and bad comes with that – not everyone can come up with a great match without help and you’re almost always guaranteed solid wrestling, but also everything feels the same and things can seem so uptight.
Here though we got a match (Braun Strowman/Alexa Bliss vs. Sami Zayn/Becky Lynch) where everybody clearly was given one guideline: Have fun out there. This was basically a house show match on TV and it was a blast. The last time people on WWE television seemed to be having this much fun was the much-missed Saturday Morning Slam, where the matches were mostly comedy but you also got classic babyface vs. heel stuff and weird things like Daniel Bryan tying up Tyson Kidd in submissions and shouting about bears. You’re guaranteed solid matches almost every time on WWE TV – shine, heat, yadda yadda barf – but sometimes I go back and watch The Midnight Express bumping like goofballs for Bill Watts and Junkyard Dog and I’m like, “What prevents wrestling from being like this today?” And this match says – it’s definitely not the wrestlers.
This was a character-based match with so many great things going on at once: Braun being an over as hell monster, Alexa being over-confident because Braun is at her side, Becky Lynch being the super over birthday girl, and Sami Zayn being a cowardly jackass who alternated between rallying the crowd with HAPPY BIRTHDAY chants and pretending to not be able to tag in to help Becky because he was scared of Braun. Braun would just get more and more frustrated as he couldn’t get to Zayn, and when he did get a hold of him – oh MAN. It was….. bliss.
It is clear that WWE Performance Center recruits are trained to master that basic Main Event type of match, complete with a “heat segment” that usually includes a chinlock or an armbar or something. And that’s fine. Those matches can work. But I really hope at the Performance Center they are also stressing the importance of being able to have a match like this. You don’t need a chinlock to get over a character and tell a story. Sometimes, you can just have interesting characters interacting with each other and that’s your story.
Right from the intros this was great: the crowd screaming BRAAAAUUUUNNN in unison after that sleepy-ass SmackDown main event followed by the video of Braun explaining to Alexa how to flip over a car was peak wrestling. Becky and Alexa tore it up early with holds amongst Sami’s shit talk: “YOU’VE GOT NOTHIN’, LITTLE LADY! YOU GOT NOTHIN’! STRAIGHT FIIIIIII-EEEERRRR! And it’s her BIRTHDAY! IT’S HER BIRTHDAY!” Becky works some tight HEADLOCKS on Alexa and gives her a noogie as the crowd chants Happy Birthday. Becky actually skanks and Zayn MARKS OUT. Becky out-wrestles Alexa, who reminds Braun, “I know what I’m doing! I’m making her think she’s winning. Getting in her head!” – where has THIS Alexa been!?
And Braun says, with all the gruff in the world: “I TRUST YOU.” AHHHHHH!!!
This was followed by a huge WE WANT STROWMAN chant and Sami trying to add-on “Neverrrr gonna get himmm.” Of course, seconds later, Braun tags in and he legitimately CHASES Sami at full speed, only for Sami to run away and tag out to Becky. Braun looks at Sami and motions “almost,” turns his back, Sami tags in and attacks Braun from behind, and gets IMMEDIATELY wrecked. Alexa and Becky start working again and I think the fans tried to start a Rusev Day chant, but Braun turns to them and says shut up, AND THEY ACTUALLY SHUT UP. Then Sami pretends he can’t tag in, until he does, and Braun SPRINTS at him and just throws him all around – inside, outside, whereever. Sami is so great as the quick-moving cowardly heel – where has THIS Sami been!?
Braun and Alexa go over when Alexa stands on Braun’s shoulders (which gets a great whoaaaaa reaction from the crowd) and hits the TWISTED BLISS, which was completely incredible, mainly because it happened and looked great but also because I just thought she’d do a simple splash.
Post-match sees Braun as an uber-babyface FLIRTING with Alexa Bliss, which led to both GET THESE HANDS and ALL THE WAY chants. Are you KIDDING ME? Braun and Alexa are the heroes WWE has been waiting for.
There was a whole lot of dicking around here, but we need more wonderful bullshit based more around character versus these serious formula matches we get all the time.
ALL wrestling should be like this. All the stars.
RAW (1/29/18)
THERE’s my Monday Night RAW, again!
What a massive show this was – post-Rumble storylines beginning, Stephanie By God McMahon, Elimination Chamber qualifiers, Braun Strowman destruction, Reigns and Miz having another classic for the IC Title, Asuka and Sasha having an epic, a RAW Tag Team Titles match, and JOHN CENA vs. FINN BALOR.
Plus – we’ve got some direction: Elimination Chamber build, the Sasha, Finn, and Cena characters all getting some tweaks, BRAUN still wanting Brock… good stuff.
The new graphics are very pretty, too.
And Coach. Yes. Coach is here now.
Steph McMahon kicking off RAW wasn’t my favorite, but moving to Asuka and Sasha Banks was good. Digging the new attitude for Sasha – she lasted forever in the Rumble and still lost, took Bayley out of the Rumble, and is calling out Asuka. Let’s go to WrestleMania, baby.
The Last Man Standing match with Braun Strowman vs. Kane was a nothing wrestling match but a fun angle and probably best case scenario. It made for a wild half-hour start to the show – Braun coming to the ring and just immediately pulling out WEAPONS, flipping over the god damn elevated commentary table (JESUS CHRIST), trying to murder somebody because he wants a championship and is just DOING HIS JOB. Total insanity, the Strowman Machine continues to be incredible.
Elias was rocking an amazing jacket and WALK! WITH! ELIAS! was over in Philly. Him vs. Woken Matt was just kind of a match, but Elias looked mean and qualified for the Chamber and that’s a good thing. Plus ya had a freakin’ commentary table being constructed at ringside all throughout it.
Roman Reigns vs. The Miz for the IC Title was such a good match; these guys have such good chemistry. It’s really such ideal wrestling and a total throwback – great characters, hot crowd, not a ton of bumps, and every big moment counts. It also wasn’t your usual “Roman sells his ass off and the people go wild” match – he did sell it was off, but it was more back-and-forth, as that little shit The Miz ain’t able to control The Big Dog for THAT long.
Lots of great little spots here – Reigns’ decision to open most of his matches with a straight-up uppercut (one of my favorite things about him), the Reigns no-selling of Miz’ chops followed by another uppercut that dropped Miz, Miz going flying off the clothesline over the top, Miztourage getting run off, Reigns’ deadlift strength spots, Miz reacting to Reigns catching any shot he threw. Miz got in a little work over the leg which set up some stuff later (figure-four, Reigns deadlifting Miz with one leg, Reigns collapsing after a Superman punch). They built things into an absolutely crackling finish with the crowd going wild for the few near falls they did. The thumb to the eye followed by SkullCrushing Finale near fall was SO great. So much wrestling fun here. Hope Roman inducts Miz into the Hall of Fame.
Revival had a solid little tag with Rhyno & Heath, loved the visual of Rhyno taking the Shatter Machine. Interested in the direction of The Revival. Does it payoff or does it just go away?
Sasha Banks vs. Asuka was so good too. They did a great job selling Sasha trying to out-wrestle Asuka and Asuka punishing for it. You just know Sasha told Asuka to lay those kicks in too. A couple classic bumps here – Asuka going for the ass bump on the apron and ending up just free-fall diving outside, and Sasha Banks’ completely insane tope countered with a kick that resulted in her landing on her freakin’ head. That was such a wild, scary bump, and I am like 85% convinced that it was completely planned too. Sasha as this generation’s Sabu is something else, I tell ya. Very cool stuff. The Tilt-A-Whirl Bank Statement and Asuka’s strike combos are both winners. Both laying down just completely exhausted post-match was awesome too.
The Bar vs. Titus Worldwide was QUIET. But it was still pretty good, and actually closed up real nice, with Michael Cole going for broke and trying to make the finish sound all epic and actually kind of getting me. The pop-up powerbomb miss was rough, but Titus throwing hands with The Bar, Crews vs. Cesaro, and Titus running full force into Sheamus’ boots in the corner were all very nice.
Finn Balor vs. John Cena was the good stuff, a match I am sure we will see again with more to it, but I liked this as a strong TV match – built slow with some wrestling, closed strong with some insanity… just quality stuff. It also gave us a very interesting performance from Big John, with him almost playing heel – the guy who looks frustrated, the guy who cuts off his young spunky opponent. “I’m just trying to go to WrestleMania.” He was really punishing Finn at points – just throwing him hard into the corner, countering the corner dropkick with a straight-up lariat. Highly enjoyed Finn doing U Can’t See Me and John doing the Too Sweet. More than highly enjoyed Cena CATCHING a Sling Blade and then just deadlifting Balor into the AA. Cena needing the top rope AA to put away Balor probably bodes well for Balor. Probably.
SMACKDOWN (1/30/18)
A better than usual SmackDown. All the wrestling and angles were solid, the top 10 thing is vaguely interesting, Nakamura vs. Styles is basically set and the build has begun, and THE USOS. I’m not going to say this was a great show or anything but it was probably a top 3 SmackDown for the last six months.
The Nakamura/Owens/Zayn/Styles thing was definitely an opening promo that set up a tag match. Yes, it was. Nakamura doing the opening promo for a SmackDown Live is wild stuff, man.
Is everybody gonna eventually respect Owens and Zayn for how legitimately unlikeable they were during this phase? Maybe like 10 years down the line?
The Kofi vs. Ryder vs. Jinder vs. RUSEV 4-way was a bunch of STUFF, but it was fun stuff: Kofi’s crazy dive, Rusev firing up on Jinder, Jinder’s hard boot to Ryder after the Broski Boot. Rusev teasing a dive was special too. Rusev winning is Very Good. I hope Kofi walked backstage on Tuesday night and did his best Macho Man impression: “I think I wanna take the Accolade tonight.”
Bobby Roode probably doesn’t have a future in commentary though.
Very cool presentation on the Usos backstage promo tonight, both the on-screen lettering and them walking into heaven at the end of it.
But what came next was something special. WHAT. AN. USOS. PROMO. If SmackDown was any good and anyone had any faith that this would go somewhere, we might be hearing talk of this being an all-time great promo. This was The Usos doing HARD TIMES and it was incredible, even with the silly prison door effect. Empathy with the fans, talking about being together, struggling together, the timing, the delivery – fucking WOW. I know we’re only at the end of January but between Johnny vs. Almas and this, we might have already seen our Match of the Year and Promo of the Year for 2018.
AND THEN THE BLUDGEON BROTHERS. I loved everything about this match. It was like a mini-movie of a squash. Kevin Dunn and his crew get a lot of shit, but Lil’ Gulak trying to back away off the steps from Rowan and then turning into Harper who was off-screen was SO cool. And then Rowan forced Lil’ Gulak to tag in and then they wrecked him. So good. Cannot wait for Bludgeon Brothers vs. Usos.
Note the Ronda Rousey video package followed by a Charlotte Flair promo at the top of the hour. I see you, WWE.
It has to come off awful to anyone who isn’t used to WWE promo cadence, but I will say this: Ruby Riott does have good solid conviction in her promo delivery. But the material is SOOOOO lame and she doesn’t help it. “Because if it’s up to me, you won’t even make it to WrestleMania” UGGGGHHHH. Why is Ruby from NXT so MEAN all of the sudden!? Riott Squad beating down Charlotte Flair was very much the opposite of a compelling professional wrestling segment.
And then – AN AMAZING MONEY IN THE BANK CASH-IN TEASE, WOW. What a range of emotions I went through during it – OH MY GOD to I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING to WHAT WHAT IS HAPPENING to Oh, OK. Hope Carm cashes in the SmackDown after Mania.
The AJ/Nakamura backstage thing, at 30 seconds long, got across so much more than the 10 minutes of the last segment. “I’m gonna beat you at WrestleMania.” VERY GOOD.
Tye Dillinger looked very fired up against Baron Corbin, even if Tye getting kicked out of the Rumble by Owens and Zayn and A) not immediately going for revenge and B) coming to work asking politely for opportunity was BAD. The match was OK, which in wrestling kind of means very bad. Corbin had a wild bump into the LED post though. I wonder if WWE guys have a contest going on to see who can take the hardest bump into it.
Bobby Roode circling the calendar on Rusev Day and writing GLORIOUS across the days was SO cool, oh my word. This new lettering gimmick that they’re adding to promos is kind of neat.
Gable/Benjamin vs. Breezango was solid. Chad and Dango kinda tore it up for a bit there, and Benjamin deadlifting Breeze into the finish was very impressive. I like how Gable and Benjamin actually never really turned heel; they just thought they got screwed out of the Tag Titles and decided “Hey, we’re gonna be total dipshits now.”
Even if he stinks, Kevin Owens’ banter can still be top tier: “DON’T YOU DO THAT STUPID THING!” he screams as Nakamura does that thing where he backs his opponents into the ropes and puts the top of his head to their stomach and sways around. This was a match that at one point in history could have conceivably been great, or at the very least pretty good. But despite some OK wrestling here and there it was kind of a drag of a match. Everybody was laying it in for WrestleMania season early but then it devolved into an angle with Owens and Zayn arguing and it just wasn’t any good.
205 LIVE (1/30/18)
Best episode of 205 Live ever.
I might say that a couple more times leading to WrestleMania.
They finally did the thing that everybody wanted them to do, the thing that seemed like such a simple fun decision but something that was never going to happen because WWE rarely goes with the simple fun decisions.
We’ve got DRAKE MAVERICK as the new GM and a 16-man Cruiserweight Title tournament, essentially the Cruiserweight Classic Part 2. The post-SmackDown crowds will still be quiet, but letting four guys tear it up in two matches weekly along with Drake Maverick doing shtick has got me looking forward to 205 Live for maybe the first time ever. It sure beats the ‘ZO TRAIN.
Drake Maverick is such a vast improvement over Enzo freaking Amore. Guy has been TV ready for years and his tan is hysterical.
I have to ask, though: what are Drake Maverick’s credentials? Why has he been put in charge of an hour of WWE programming? It is basically just, “Hey, here’s a guy with a tan and a suit.” Is that all you need? Even with no credentials, is that all you need? Wait a minute. Is this about Trump?
Cedric Alexander vs. Gran Metalik was awesome, and why wouldn’t be? Two of 205’s better wrestlers got some time to shine and it ruled. They took their time early, milking all their moments as they tried to out-wrestle each other. Gave me very pleasurable flashbacks to the CWC. And then they went into the craziness and it ruled. Cedric catching the Metalik headscissors and setting up a powerbomb only for Metalik to sunset flip over him was so good. As was Metalik just doing all his incredible spots, leading into Philadelphia providing the first ever 2-0-5 chant, which was special. Dug Metalik responding to Cedric’s stiff back elbow with a stiff superkick too.
Bummed Metalik went out in the first round, especially considering he’s been crushing it for a while and made it to the finals of the CWC, but we still must thank the wrestling gods for this sweet match and tournament.
Drew Gulak introducing himself to Maverick with ROSES was amazing. Expecting very high quality banter between these two in the months ahead.
Tyler Bate vs. TJP was another really good match. TJP’s leg work gave it some direction but for a submission guy he doesn’t really synch his stuff in. I’ve liked pretty much every match of his since his return, but his matches are still missing the intensity that could take them higher. Regardless, these two brought the fluid wrestling early and the leg work did eventually pay off into some hot near falls. Liked Bate doing the Kofi spot off the ropes followed by TJP doing his ropes spot, as well as Bate’s pretty tope.
You know – these matches would be a pretty good way to kick a night of wrestling off, not end it. Oh well.
NXT (1/31/18)
Post-TakeOver NXT’s are usually pretty good, what with the post-match promos and solid matches in front of fired up TakeOver crowds. This was no exception.
Nikki Cross vs. Lacey Evans was a sweet little match – moved fast, crowd bought in, ended at just the right time. Nikki brought the intensity while Evans tried to keep up. Liked Nikki just punching Lacey into the deep depths of the ring apron.
TM61’s return vs. The Ealy Brothers was an ideal return squash – Ealy’s heeled it up, while TM61 flew around and kicked some ass. Thorne once again stood out as all fired up and whatnot.
The footage of Tommaso Ciampa refusing to answer questions and dragging the bent crutch behind him after he attacked Johnny = $$$.
Roddy Strong vs. Tyler Bate was the good stuff. Bate brought the fluid but realistic-feeling wrestling, Roddy brought the chops and backbreakers. Just good chemistry. Roddy pulling Bate off the turnbuckle into a backbreaker was very cool. Towards the end they were just throwin’ blows and the people were freaking out, man. A good match made very good by a big hot crowd.
MAIN EVENT (1/31/18)
Bayley vs. Sonya Deville was kind of a nothing match, even if it felt unique seeing Bayley on Main Event. I dunno. Deville did her confusing kind of sort of MMA shtick while Bayley uh… I dunno – didn’t make much of it.
Kalisto/Metalik/Dorado vs. TPP/Jack/Daivari was a solid cruiser 6-man. Main Event once again cut the heel beatdown, so it was the heels taking Lucha moves and then the Lucha guys diving around, all of which was pretty neat. Solid stuff, though absolutely nothing you haven’t seen from these guys before.
WWE TV Match of the Week: You take your Okada vs. Omega’s and your YOH and SHO’s, I’ll take my Braun/Alexa vs. Sami/Becky thank you very much.
WWE TV MVP of the Week: BRAAAUUUNNN – he showed his destructive angry top babyface side on Monday and his destructive lovable goofball top babyface side on Tuesday. Incredible. Honorable Mention to the Usos and THAT PROMO.
They always do good when THE ROAD begins. But this was REALLY good, a blast of a week of WWE TV. RAW was as good as usual and escaped the holding pattern it was in for the last few weeks, while the Tuesday night wrestling was awesome: SmackDown was finally good, while Mixed Match Challenge and 205 Live had their best episodes yet.
RAW: 9/10
SmackDown: 7/10
205 Live: 9/10
NXT: 7/10
