Anyone ever think about the art of the wrestling entrance?
I’m not talking about the pomp, the circumstance, the lights, the pyro.
Just maybe a badass rock track. And the walk. A walk to the ring where every atom in your body is screaming both “look like a bad motherfucker” and also “oh my god I’m DOING IT! I’m a WRESTLER! And all these people are watching me! YEAHHHHH!!!”
But you have to look like a legitimate competitor, a person who is walking to the ring to kick somebody’s ass.
It’s probably really hard to master that.
Basically, all I am saying is – did anyone else do it as good as Stone Cold Steve Austin? I don’t think so.
RAW (1/15/18)
I thought RAW was great. I say that a lot now.
Next week will be filled with Attitude Era shenanigans, so this week we got ALLLL the good red brand stuff – an hour Braun Strowman insanity, Titus O’Neil throwing hands, Asuka and Nia Jax once again tearing it up, a Revival squash and real talk promo, ELIAS, THE MIZ, ROMAN REIGNS, and Rollins vs. Balor as the main event. Holy cow!
The show-long angle of Braun Strowman on the loose was completely over-produced but good god almighty was it fun. Where else but the wonderful world of the WWE would this bullshit work? So much great stuff, so much that I must present it like this:
Part 1: “I was telling them a story.” Braun is FIRED!
Part 2: Braun smashing security guards backstage, the HUGE launch of a security guard and table bump. “I’m not leaving until everybody gets these hands!”
Part 3: “BRAUN STROWMAN IS COMING! HE’S HEADED THIS WAY!” Braun Strowman destroying catering and chokeslamming Curt Hawkins through a table only to calmly take a piece of chocolate cake from a terrified server was peak RAW.
Intermission: “Oh god, they’re worth 12 million dollars.”
Part 4: BRAUN INVADED A PRODUCTION TRUCK DEMANDING TO KNOW HOW ALL THE MACHINES WORKED AND THEN HE TIPPED A GOD DAMN PRODUCTION TRUCK. OH MY GOD. The cinematic camera cuts were SO lame but this was incredible WWE television.
Part 5: HAHAHAHA BOOKER T PUSHED MICHAEL COLE AWAY!!! And Braun launched Michael Cole into a bunch of security guards!!! Braun being re-hired and immediately screaming BRAAUUUUNNNN was amazing.
I made a Tweet about enjoying Titus O’Neil’s late-stage career resurgence as a guy who can throw hands with Cesaro & Sheamus and Titus vanity searched a RT’d it so that’s really all I have to say about Titus Worldwide vs. The Bar. One thing WWE might want to do would be to make it seem like a bigger deal when big hulking Apollo Crews does a god damned moonsault off the apron and lands on his feet. I dunno.
I’m into this mini-Titus Worldwide push, all while Jason Jordan gets to continue being a little shit.
Would’ve much rather seen Goldust vs. Tony Nese, but Cedric and Nese did their OK match and nobody really cared. WWE starting to push Cedric just as he started to not get pops seems poorly thought out.
Asuka and Nia Jax had an incredible match in Japan that aired on NXT in December of 2016 and they had a rematch on RAW that was basically just as good as a RAW TV match ending in a countout could be. These two work well together is what I’m saying. Asuka is great an ass-kicker, but might be better as an underdog. Her selling of a bearhug was so pro wrestling. Liked her reacting to and working around Nia’s strength, Nia throwing Asuka around and LIFTING out of a cross armbreaker. And there was a POWERBOMB. Awesome.
Jason Jordan smiling at Papa Angle and thanking him for believing in him while Angle was dealing with all the destruction on RAW was tremendous.
The Revival making a cameo on RAW was a nice surprise. And against Bayley’s hubby! They had themselves a wonderful straightforward squash with a nasty finish – welcome back, boys. Dawson stomping away at Bayley’s hubby’s partner post-match was great too.
And then The Revival got a PROMO, and made the most of it: saying Stone Cold and DX made the business a MOCKERY, “We’re not sports entertainers. We are professional wrestlers,” Dawson calling somebody “JACK.” A legit great promo that I assume leads to them getting their asses kicked next week.
I think Elias is just amazing and this was a show that made me very excited about the prospect of how over Elias will be at WrestleMania, but: Elias as guy targeting John Cena instead of Samoa Joe is a big step down. I am really liking him as the opener for Miz segments though.
Roman vs. The Miztourage was a fun Handicap Match – the beatdown was a little tame but once it got rocking it ruled, just classic sports entertainment. Roman was selling for Miztourage like they were Brock Lesnar, which is maybe something he shouldn’t be doing, but it did make for a compelling match. Liked Roman pulling Bo away from the tag and elbowing at him only for Axel to attack him from behind, and the spot with Roman booting Bo which caused him to DDT Axel.
Sasha vs. Sonya was like 3 minutes and not bad while it lasted. Liked Sasha going for the Bank Statement right away on the MMA chick. Sasha is good. Sonya might be.
Kind of enjoyed Matt Hardy trying out some new WOKEN spots vs. Heath Slater.
Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor was very good, way better than the SummerSlam match given the added benefit of Balor’s shoulder not being wrecked. The way both guys’ spend time early in their matches rarely gets me, though they did do some neat rope-running. Once it picked up though, it got great. They played a lot with their signatures… the dueling Sling Blades, Rollins missing the Phoenix splash. Balor’s selling made things all dramatic – he took some of Seth’s kicks in SUCH an epic fashion. And then A GOD DAMN CURB STOMP ended it. Heck of a match to close out a heck of a RAW.
SMACKDOWN (1/16/18)
This show having almost no Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn and Shane McMahon made for a very good show. Running the semis AND finals of the U.S. Title Tournament didn’t hurt either.
New Day promo to start over a lobotomized Shane McMahon or Kevin Owens reciting what happened last week on SmackDown was an improvement. Liked the shtick with the podium, not the pancakes.
Jinder Mahal vs. Xavier Woods was good. This would’ve made a fine WWE title match a few months ago – wish they did more stuff like that on SD with Jinder, versus promo promo promo followed by eh match. Got time, built well, kept it basic but also interesting. A kick to the head is a good start to a wrestling match too. Xavier is clearly a creative guy and fun to watch, any time he gets some shine he’s throwing out cool stuff like that Honor Roll to the knee and crazy neck bump into the bottom rope. Woods played a strong underdog babyface, though maybe some more FIRE~! would’ve been nice. His bumps on the missed elbow drop and Khallas were nasty. Good solid stuff.
Liked the Women’s Rumble promos. LOL’d at Sarah Logan’s being one sentence long.
Bobby Roode vs. Mojo Rawley was PRETTY good. It was a lot of Mojo being mean (“Did I crack a rib, Bobby?”) and doing pounces mixed with HOLDS. I liked the thought behind it if not the execution. Mojo took that post bump like a champ.
SmackDown Women Sekigun vs. Riott Squad was a solid 6-man – OK individual performances, Becky selling, nice heel finish. The Riott Squad is all good – Ruby’s tight chinlocks, Logan’s intensity, Liv’s reactions and taunts and scrambling around. But the Riott Squad deal just kills em dead.
Owens and Zayn relegated to a video package = THE BEST.
The sad thing is, AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn would probably be pretty good.
Jinder Mahal vs. Bobby Roode was as Good Enough as you’d expect. I’m rarely on the edge of my seat with a Jinder match, but also dig and respect what he’s doing, if that makes any sense. It’s nothing spectacular, but there’s something nice about WWE continuing to roll with stuff that would’ve worked better in the past (mean unlikable heel laying in a beating, one-note babyface popping in comebacks) and leaning into it. Gotta slow things down to bring em back up again, you know?
Roode is the U.S. Champ! OK.
MIXED MATCH CHALLENGE (1/16/18)
The Facebook emojis popping across the screen for this thing will always not click with me, but I did like Renee Young at ringside and the general loose feeling of the presentation. This will be a fun next few weeks.
Finn Balor/Sasha Banks vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Natalya opened up this tournament and it was GREAT. Wow. Both pairings were tremendous. Balor and Nak were just TEARING IT UP and popping the folks. Both guys were clearly busting ass to get this tourney off to a hot start, and Finn’s selling again made things all dramatic. Nakamura catching Sasha’s tope was awesome, as was the Sling Blade counter of the Kinshasa. Thought Sasha’s save off the sliding knee was AMAZING too, great timing and impact – felt like Kobashi saving Misawa. Most incredible of all, the crowd was going wild in the 205 Live spot. Tremendous.
205 LIVE (1/16/18)
Taped before SmackDown + only a half-hour = magical 205 Live. Best since the Neville era.
TJP vs. Gran Metalik delivered. TJP is two for two good 205 Live matches since his return and Metalik was as spectacular as usual. Plus, there wasn’t much TJP beating to suffer through. A more to-the-point version of their sweet match last week. Does Metalik work on RAW vs. Cesaro or Jason Jordan or something? I think so.
Gulak with a cowboy hat = gold.
Goldust vs. The ‘Zo Train was like 5 minutes but an alright match. Definitely the weaker of the Handicap Matches this week, but Goldust running through SPOTS~! with Gulak, Nese and Daivari was pretty neat. Goldust beating ‘Zo Train 3-on-1 would’ve made for a great series finale for 205 Live, but we go on.
NXT (1/17/18)
This was a decent show… nothing must-see but just some solid stuff that moved us forward to Philly.
Heavy Machinery vs. Tino & Moss was a fun little match. All four guys have the athletics and character, if not the timing and confidence. Liked the swinging front facelock and Otis’ WORM.
Roddy Strong vs. Fabian Aichner was like 5 minutes long but another impressive Aichner match. He reminds me of a CAW template where you don’t mess with the appearance but you do give it all the cool moves. There were some sweet Roddy backbreakers here too, which led to the Liontamer tapout. I am all about a Roddy/Lars rematch at a TakeOver, yes indeed.
The “Who is TM61?” video was SO good, though classic WWE bullshit – they deprave us of so much sometimes that even minimal effort at giving a tag team a personality has me flipping out.
Lacey Evans vs. Aliyah was… well. It was them trying stuff, I guess. Lacey feels like somebody who’ll get a big push if she makes it to the main roster. Note that after all the Women’s Revolution hooplah, it is Charlotte Flair and Alexa Bliss on top. I did like her winning with a PUNCH and selling the hand afterwards. I guess she’s a heel now. OK.
Dug the Baszler/Moon deal, including the “BEAT THAT ASS” chants. Tremendous.
Johnny Wrestling had himself a sweet promo that felt like a Sami Zayn in 2014 thing. I AM NOT A LOSER. THIS IS NOT A FLUKE. Good stuff.
Authors of Pain vs. Street Profits was never gonna be a classic and it delivered. Not much to it, really. Profits did a couple spots, got beat up, came back, and lost. I did like the spot with Ford powering through the front facelock leading to the hot tag, and I dig how AoP doesn’t F with near fall timing – the Hart Attack missile dropkick by the Profits could’ve been 2.999, but nope – this isn’t about drama this about winning and AUTHORING PAIN.
MAIN EVENT (1/17/18)
Actually a solid couple matches here.
Rhyno vs. Curt Hawkins was ultra-basic but Rhyno rules and I liked Hawkins’ TKO sell. It ended with a spinebuster, depraving the crowd of the GORE. Hope they gave ’em one off-camera. I am calling it now: Fabian Aichner, Raul Mendoza, and Rhyno are the top 3 most underrated guys under WWE contract.
TJP vs. Mustafa Ali was very much a Main Event Match Worth Watching – lightning fast matwork that popped the crowd, TJP being an aggressive little shit (nice spot where he chokes Ali with his boot until Ali falls outside), and a really cool finish – TJP pushes Ali off the top rope and Ali does a backflip > TJP does a missile dropkick to the knee > Ali sells his leg like death leading to a nice kneebar near fall > TJP goes for another sub but Ali pushes him into the turnbuckle > TJP falls back and trips over Ali > Ali jackknife cradles him with one leg to the 3-count. I wish they’d go all in on TJP being a little shit versus half in, because he’s real good at it. Ali continues to be a guy who I hope gets some love in 2018.
WWE TV Match of the Week: Mixed Match Challenge, baby
WWE TV MVP of the Week: BRAAAAUUUUUNNNNN
A winner of a week. RAW re-grouped and ruled, SmackDown re-grouped and was actually pretty good, 205 Live re-grouped and was tolerable, and NXT continued its’ hot streak. NICE!
RAW: 9/10
SmackDown: 7/10
205 Live: 7/10
NXT: 7/10
