Do you ever think about how hard it must be to do a superplex?
To do a springboard dropkick?
To do a handspring backflip off of wrestling ropes where both your feet land directly onto another guys’ shoulders, after which you front flip forward and make it look like your momentum is forcing the other guy to do a front flip on his ass?
Wrestling, man.
RAW (1/8/18)
This week was kind of a slog to get through, but THE RAW BRAND continues to be strong. This week you had THE MIZ, Titus pinning Sheamus, Braun Strowman mastering how to use a grapple hook, Samoa Joe vs. Rhyno, and Samoa Joe calling out John Cena. Stuff happened!!! Otherwise, it was basically a show of enhancement matches and a big 6-man main event – could be worse.
Opening promo was alright mainly because this Jason Jordan thing continues to work. He could’ve milked holding out the fist to Roman more, saying he and Roman/Seth “run this show” is so awesome, as was his line on Balor: “The Balor Club… please – I’m proud to be a part of The Champions’ Club.” Oh and Balor Club interrupting Shield Jr. was a good “oh shit” move.
Sasha/Bayley vs. Mandy/Deville had its moments but I am starting to think Bayley might not be any good. Her vs. Mandy felt like such fake wrestling bullshit, and then Sasha tags in and works a sweet rope-running sequence with Mandy and gets a big pop off a slap. Otherwise, most of the match was Mandy and Deville working over Sasha which was kind of eh, even if they did all the stuff Sarah Stock or whoever told them to.
Had a good laugh at the crowd not knowing WTF to do with the Woken piano music until The Hardy Boyz logo showed up. Woken Matt vs. Curt Hawkins was a legitimately good squash – Matt was intense and looked like a badass, it moved from one thing to the other – good stuff.
And then Matt and Wyatt had their little laugh-off and my friend who was watching RAW from the first time in years texted me:
“That was weird.”
Elias had himself another great promo – the “WALK WITH ELIAS” catchphrase will be so over. I cannot believe that this is working and I also love that this is working.
Tailored suit, new haircut, WELCOME BACK chants, “Did ya miss me?” – THE MIZ IS FUCKING BACK. And he’s cutting another GOAT promo. “The title doesn’t make the champion, the champion makes the title, and daddy’s home.” It is so much fun to watch a guy not just clearly prepared be a great sports entertainer but to reach the very top of the sports entertaining stratosphere. I hope Papa Vince is watching.
On the other hand, The Balor Club. Man. Love Finn. Love Luke. Love Karl. But they are coming off as such nerds right now, like a parody of how WWE would present The Bullet Club: the Tonga and Fale references, the “back when we were drinkin’ brewskis back in Roppongi brother” stuff… ARGGGHHHHHH.
One interesting thing WWE might have wanted to try before Cedric Alexander challenged Enzo Amore for the WWE Cruiserweight Title match would have been to try and get Cedric Alexander popular with the fans.
Regardless, Cedric vs. Enzo was short but kind of insane. Cedric had a little run, Enzo worked some holds. But then Cedric cracked open Enzo’s face with a kick, Enzo hurt his ankle on a dive, and Enzo just laid outside, covered in blood and writhing in pain, until the match was called off. Incredible wrestling television. Enzo stays interesting, Cedric stays geeky.
Cesaro/Sheamus vs. Titus Worldwide was pretty basic TV tag stuff until Titus WON WOW WHAT IN THE HELL. Very interesting, love the weird curveballs the RAW brand throws sometimes. LOL’d at Apollo dodging the Brouge kick by moonsaulting away off the apron.
Paul & Brock did the same old promo they always do and then BRAUN STROWMAN MOTHERFUCKING BATMAN GRAPPLE HOOKED A STEEL SET AND BROUGHT IT DOWN OVER BROCK LESNAR AND KANE. Another AWESOME CRAZY BRAUN MOMENT in a sea of them, and outside of The Miz the highlight of RAW.
Samoa Joe vs. Rhyno was a Dream Match that delivered, incredible fast-paced big old man action with them two boys just poundin’ on each other with hands, baby. Loved the finish with Rhyno managing to lift Joe before being caught with the Kokina clutch. A perfect simple squash match.
Great post-match promo by Joe too – his explanation of a “hyrrhic victory” was creepy, this is a SMART SCARY MAN. And then he teased a John Cena feud which was the third WHAT IN THE WORLD moment in like half an hour on this show. Love it.
Alexa Bliss stirring shit between Nia Jax and Asuka leads me to a casual reminder that Nia Jax and Asuka had a MOTYC in 2016 in Osaka, Japan. Something makes me think they won’t come close to that on a RAW, but one can hope.
Shield Jr. vs. Balor Club 6-man was an OK match, mostly a Reigns beatdown with RoRo selling his heart out. But let’s be honest here, Gallows & Anderson are never gonna light anything on fire with a beatdown. Reigns and Gallows trading shots was occasionally interesting, Seth’s hot tag was alright, and I continue to dig everything they are doing with Jason Jordan.
And then The Miz and The Miztourage laid out Roman Reigns, which I thought was an INCREDIBLE show-closer.
RAW 25 is HUGE.
Oh, and JEFF SESSIONS EATS BOOTY-O’S.
SMACKDOWN (1/9/18)
SmackDown stinks but this show had a couple fun matches in a vacuum.
AJ Styles is a star, but the AJ/Owens/Sami/Bryan/Shane saga continues to be dumb. Outside of the complete lack of heat, the whole point of everything is glaringly dumb. Why would Indy Favorite Daniel Bryan play favorites with Indy Favorite Kevin Owens and Indy Favorite Sami Zayn against Indy Favorite AJ STYLES?
Owens and Zayn as co-WWE Champions might have sounded appealing at one point but as part of this angle it just sounds like trash.
Despite everything, I still do enjoy Heel Sami’s entrance theatrics.
Love Becky Lynch, missed Becky Lynch, glad she’s back. Her vs. Ruby Riott wasn’t exactly an exciting wrestling match, but I dug it – just good solid wrestling. They worked holds, Becky fired off a “LET’S GOOOO” that was so babyface, and everything just worked as an undercard match that continues the thought process that there might just be some legitimacy to this whole pro wrestling thing.
Bludgeon Brothers vs. The Ascension meanwhile was the best SmackDown match in ages, a 30-second crazy-ass sprint squash. Everybody went hard and it wrapped up at the perfect time. Loved it.
Alright, Mojo Rawley’s new entrance is embarrassing. That should change soon.
Otherwise, the match with Zack Ryder was good. It wasn’t some epic but Mojo looked aggressive and mean as hell and they kept it moving. Nice work.
Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin tried to do an Usos repetition promo and it wasn’t good.
Breezango vs. Rusev Day was solid, what with Fandango’s chops and Hot Tag Rusev and the RUSEV DAY chants. But then Breezango WON? Rusev got PINNED? They trying some Daniel Bryan shit with this guy? Or is SmackDown dumber than anybody ever thought?
The “It’s amazing how Breezango connects with our audience” line during a RUSEV match was amazing.
There was no way the AJ Styles/Shinsuke Nakamura/Randy Orton vs. Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn (YEP) match was going over **1/2 and it actually delivered. Such a trope-filled stupid match; there is a darkness that looms over SmackDown given that this line-up delivered something so weak. I don’t think anyone had any faith in it delivering, so they gimmicked it up with restarts, but the gimmicks made it worse. I don’t know who benefited here.
So it goes.
205 LIVE (1/9/18)
TJP vs. Gran Metalik (in an amazing black outfit) had their second CWC Finals rematch in 2017 and though it was good, it was also a reminder of how far we’ve fallen. Regardless, match kind of rocked. Metalik is so good, so spectacular, makes the people gasp, does a swanton over the stairs – he’s incredible. This was mostly the Gran Metalik Show and it was very good because of that. The big sunset flip powerbomb from the top was great. The WE WANT TABLES chant during the TJP beatdown was funny.
Oh good TJP threw a fit, yay.
Hideo Itami wasn’t doing the RESPECT ME thing this week, so that’s good. There was nothing more inexplicable in typically inexplicable WWE than Itami feuding with Kendrick and Gallagher and still doing the RESPECT ME shtick.
He and Gallagher did a little brawl thing. It didn’t work. Cracked up at Nigel and Vic’s forced IS HE HERE!? for Itami.
Remember when Goldust was heel for 5 minutes during the summer of 2017?
Cedric Alexander vs. Tony Nese was a pretty good match that I just didn’t care about. Cedric’s stuff always looks great, and despite being the most basic possible dude, Nese is impressive. They did good – cool counters, strikes, strength spots. They could’ve had Full Sail flipping out. As it was, it was just OK.
NXT (1/10/18)
Is NXT back? I think NXT is back. In the first half hour this show had: Dakota Kai introduced, Shayna Baszler put over, the Shayna/Ember Moon tease, Authors of Pain calling out the tag division, Ohno and Mendoza tearin git up, Almas vs. Johnny build, Velveteen/Johnny, The Street Profits, and LARS. The entire show was filled with angles, TakeOver build, and great wrestling. Very cool.
Dug the Center Stage aesthetic too. STAIRS~!
Really did like everything about the Shayna Baszler re-introduction. They ran an angle with her pretending to help out at the Performance Center with submissions before she refused to let go of a sleeper hold on a rookie, gave her 30-seconds with Dakota Kai which ended when she practically broke Dakota’s arm, and then had her staredown the NXT Women’s Champ. Shayna has the vibe of someone who doesn’t even belong in NXT or at the Performance Center, but stays there there to play the game. I dig it.
Kassius Ohno vs. Raul Mendoza was a rollicking good time – Ohno is crazy and Mendoza is the best under-the-radar newcomer NXT has outside of Fabian Aichner. Tons of cool Lucha Things here. Some of Mendoza’s tricks with the ropes are awe-inspiring, and the High Tension Elbow is a great finish.
Velveteen Dream explaining to Johnny Gargano the disgrace that it is that it took him 20 minutes to beat “a guy” named Kassius Ohno might have been my favorite part of a very good show.
Lars Sullivan vs. Lio Rush was AWESOME. These two matched up so well, with Lio’s hyper-speed running around and Lars being all frustrated and angry before he CRUSHED. There’s one spot here where Lars throws Lio into the corner and Lio basically explodes and ends up on the apron. Sweet lariat bump, an insane top rope Freak Accident, YEAH BABY.
LARS VS. KILLIAN DAIN HOSS BATTLE!
Nikki Cross having to be held back from going after Undisputed Era after they beat up SAnitY is AWESOME. Love Stone Cold Nikki Cross.
Liked the little deal with SAnitY being laid out by Undisputed Era and old rival Roderick Strong coming out and saying he’ll find a partner, only for Aleister Black to not wait a second for Roddy to look, as if he just summoned his theme to play.
O’Reilly/Fish vs. Roddy/Black was the best match ReDragon has had in WWE yet. The pre-match angle gave it a hook, the O’Reilly/Fish beatdown was energetic, Strong’s hot tag was awesome, and I liked O’Reilly and Fish’s bumping towards the end (including Fish taking a belly-to-belly onto O’Reilly).
COLE VS. BLACK EXTREME RULES!
MAIN EVENT (1/10/18)
Wow. Alicia Fox vs. Dana Brooke was kind of amazing. Foxy bumps and shit-talks her way through a solid match with Dana Brooke, like she’s a modern day diva Terry Funk or something. And she throws a sliding kick into the splits that sends Dana Brooke hurdling to the outside that is so awesome.
The Tozawa/Ali vs. Gulak/Daivari match was pretty good too, actually. Cutting out the beatdowns on these 205 Live matches on Main Event can sometimes hurt the flow, but it helped the match here, as it ended up a fun fast-paced version of the match these guys usually do. Not sure I saw even one chinlock.
Each of these was a bonafide Main Event Match Worth Watching.
WWE TV Match of the Week: LARS SULLIVAN VS. LIO RUSH!
WWE TV MVP of the Week: The next generation of great, Jason Jordan
A down week for the red brand, even if it wasn’t bad or anything, but a down week for the red brand means a pretty weak batch of WWE TV. At least NXT brought the high-quality goods.
RAW: 6/10
SmackDown: 4/10
205 Live: 5/10
NXT: 9/10
