Does it just boggle anyone’s mind that as soon as WWE learned to write a 3-hour show they forgot how to write a 2-hour one?
RAW (12/18/17)
Another entertaining 3 hours of wrestling on a Monday night… I’ve watched too much RAW week after week to know that we are in a golden era. There wasn’t a Roman Reigns IC Title match, but we did get the Jason Jordan saga continuing in a fun way, Samoa Joe continuing his ascent, fun stuff with Drew Gulak and Elias, and surprise appearances by Hideo Itami and The Revival. Plus, a Women’s Royal Rumble announcement! Yeah! Cool? Cool! I think! Yeah! This is hope! Or something! Yeah!
Oh and Brock Lesnar was there too. Outside of the Rumble Triple Threat announcement, Brock and Braun were kind of afterthoughts this week eh? Loved Kurt’s “Oh it’s true it’s damn true” and immediate escape from Braun, Brock and Kane. But, counterpoint: Braun, Brock and Kane. I just don’t know. Kudos to all three if they manage a good match, but I can’t say this excites me in any way shape or form, even if I do want to see Braun and Brock try and create the magic they couldn’t manage at No Mercy. But as much as I respect The Big Red Machine, and as popular as he remains, this is a WWE that has passed him by and his presence is dragging down some money players.
I liked all the Jason Jordan stuff tonight, and by proxy all the Samoa Joe stuff. Loved Jordan and Seth arguing over who gets to wrestle Samoa Joe leading to this Joe line: “And look, all the popular boys want to dance with me.” AMAZING! RAW has had a lot of solid storytelling promos recently, with guys on the roster getting inter-twined not because they’re in the stupid WWE Universe but because there are legitimate reasons and motivations to mix it up. Great work, whoever is driving this.
Seth Rollins vs. Jason Jordan was half OK and half kind of good. It was very long, that is for sure. Jordan working over Seth lost the crowd but Jordan suplexing Seth around is the good stuff. Jordan catching Seth on the outside and driving him into the barricade and the springboard caught with the rolling northern lights were cool spots. Pretty incredible near fall off the frog splash too. Really, Jordan brought it from his end but Seth continues to be the most “fine” singles wrestler there is.
Finn Balor vs. Miztourage was very much the Handicap Match you’d expect from these fellas at this point, and that’s not a bad thing – it was just ultra-basic and nothing that moved me, but also an ideal spot for everybody if it’s not time to heat Balor up.
Hideo Itami debuting to save Balor is VERY COOL. His man boobs not so much, but this was VERY COOL. It stinks how much the buzz has cooled off, and that rough apron DDT was rough, but KENTA on RAW is really freaking awesome. Axel’s knee to Balor was sweet too.
Drew Gulak compared himself to Jar Jar Binks for heat on this show – if you want to be a real heel, go ahead and praise the shit Leia space scene in Last Jedi. Gulak vs. Cedric Alexander was prety good… both guys individually did the stuff I like them for but it didn’t really click or hit that infamous second gear. I still always pop when guys deliver on the outside superplex spot.
Asuka still hasn’t had a main roster match as good as her vs. Cameron on NXT.
Rollins/Ambrose/Jordan vs. Joe/Cesaro/Sheamus was a perfectly fine basic TV tag brought up by all the story choices they made. Like, why am I completely amped for Joe vs. Jordan? How did they manage this!? Liked Joe and The Bar targeting Jordan and Seth considering they just went 20 like an hour ago, liked Jordan making a pin save and hammering on Joe, liked Ambrose’s apron work. Nice heat on Seth… I’m such a big fan of how the crowds just SHRIEK as Seth reaches for an Ambrose hot tag. Dug Dean throwing Seth back in the ring and calling for the tag, only for Cesaro to cut it off, leading to Ambrose hurting his arm on the outside which set up a neat #BrougeKickOuttaNowhere finish on Seth. This was GOOD TV.
Looks like Ambrose is injured, which sucks and all but all I have to say is I KNEW IT. I wrote this LAST WEEK.
I dunno about Ambrose though. The Shield rules, obviously. But he is a guy who has been going HARD in WWE main events for like four years straight with almost no time off and it’s starting to make me feel uncomfortable. He’s a clear #TopGuy, a superstar, but while his selling is one of the best things about him (mostly because he legitimately seems broken), he is also starting to seem very cautious about everything he does too. I wouldn’t be shocked to see some time off, injury or not, in his future.
Bray and WOKEN Matt did their thing and I am still into The Great War – Bray aping the Woken laugh, Matt playing chess with a FISH. It’s probably gonna get bad soon but it’s not bad yet.
LOVE THE REVIVAL. Elated that they are back. Missed their tag work, even throwaway squashes bring the greatness – Dash saving Dawson from Heath’s corner elbow, isolating Heath and not allowing Rhyno to tag at all, the SHATTER MACHINE. Welcome back, boys.
Heath and Rhyno with an angle heading into the New Year… nice work, RAW.
Elias + Women’s Division = GREATNESS. Elias throwing the pick! Refusing the hug! Cole’s over-the-top intros! The whole segment was amazing.
CENA’S BACK FOR CHRISTMAS!!!
The 6-women’s match was a heaping stack of nothing to set up the Women’s Rumble announcement. This is cool and all but Absolution hugging and getting emotional over it, as if THIS is what they showed up on RAW to accomplish, was kind of embarrassing. I dunno, someone angrier than me has probably written all there is to write about the women’s division these days being less about competition and more about what Stephanie McMahon’s publicist thinks she needs this week. A cool deal no doubt, but yikes.
SMACKDOWN (12/19/17)
I fast forwarded a commercial at one point during this show and thought Corey Graves was Rockstar Spud.
This was bad, even if The Usos tag was OK. That’s all SmackDown has. The Usos. This is a show that has desperately needed a kick in the ass for months, but in the grand scheme of WWE there’s no need for a big shake-up right now, considering the fact that RAW is kicking ass. So we wait. Yes. We wait.
It’s the post-show for Clash of Champions and there’s no Mojo, no Bludgeon Brothers, no Corbin, no Roode. Yeesh.
The opening Bryan/Shane promo had the usual SMACKDOWN EXPOSITION BS where they go over Every. Little. Thing. That. Happened. At. The. Last. Smackdown. Show. BUT! Bryan telling Shane not to become Mr. McMahon was an interesting enough place to get to.
How do The Usos get even cold SmackDown matches bumping? Amazing. Them vs. Gable & Shelton was fun… the usual Usos hot finish combined with Shelton’s knee counter of a tope, the top rope belly-to-belly tease, Gable’s cradle near fall, the Gable German, and Gable & Shelton actually winning. I like that someone backstage was finally like, hey Chad’s pretty good.
Phew… that Charlotte promo, that’ll put asses in the seats. WWE taking control of and positioning their own decision-making as what THE FANS really want is a wild thing someone else should investigate. Like, just do the Women’s Rumble – it’s an awesome idea. But to position it as YOU GUYS DID THIS, YOU GUYS AND THE SOCIAL DID IT. You’re losing me, maaaan.
Charlotte/Naomi vs. Riott/Logan was a real basic-ass tag match on a night filled with them. I liked Naomi’s rapid-fire rights.
Guys arguing over which t-shirt people to buy while dressed in costume is always where wrestling was headed, to be honest. Good work by New Day and Rusev/English with the weirdest material. “YOU DONE FLAPPED THE WRONG JACKS, SUCKA!”
Legit sighed when the promo for Ziggler’s U.S. Title celebration popped up. But him immediately forfeiting it might be a cool idea. It’s interesting, at least. And I’m a mark for tournaments, if that’s where we are headed.
New Day vs. Rusev/English with everybody dressed in costumes was some goofy bullshit and that is OK. It was just kind of a lengthy amount of goofy bullshit. They took like 5 minutes to set up the pancakes spot; I felt like I was watching a Kevin Owens No DQ Match.
Styles/Orton/Nakamura vs. Jinder/Owens/Zayn was SUCH a house show 6-man tag. It hit the notes it needed to but it’s already fading from memory. There’s nowhere new to go with these fellas, is there? Anyone vs. Zayn is like the only fresh thing, barely. Orton assisting with the Phenomenal Forearm was cool, at least.
205 LIVE (12/19/17)
I’ve got it. Vince, or whoever is under him calling shots on 205 Live, is convinced that the reason nobody gives a shit about 205 Live is because there’s not enough STORYTELLING.
It’s not that nobody has a sustained push, that all the babyfaces seem like geeks, that Enzo can’t completely carry a show, that it airs live after SmackDown, that people still want crazy Rey Mysterio shit and not boring Brian Kendrick shit.
Nope. What WWE has decided this failing brand needs is PRE-MATCH PROMOS to TELL THE STORY so THE FANS UNDERSTAND IT and thus will REACT.
But what we end up getting is heatless confusing pre-match exposition promos followed by long stretches of leg work by guys everybody thinks are losers.
And the cycle continues.
Kendrick/Gallagher vs. Kalisto/Metalik was a decent enough match seeped in nobody caring. It had some heatless leg-work on Metalik leading to a hot tag leading to a decent Kalisto run leading to a DQ finish and post-match Metalik injury angle that nobody gave a shit about.
Colin Delaney as Hideo Itami’s debut squash opponent is LOVE. His sell of the spine kick was INCREDIBLE.
Not sure how I feel about Itami’s RESPECT ME shtick being here though. He goes through injury hell, has a lackluster run with the RESPECT ME gimmick in NXT, debuts on RAW and plays buddy buddy with Finn Balor, and now he’s a mean heel who wants respect again. I dunno.
Drew Gulak vs. Cedric Alexander was another OK match between two good wrestlers. It had Drew throwing nasty shots, Cedric’s crazy tope suicida dropkick THING, and an awesome lumbar check finish.
NXT (12/20/17)
A tight show – they built up a singles match with video, promoted two big matches for next week, started an undercard tag feud, and had some big crazy matches. Nice work, Performance Center.
O’Reilly and Fish doing goofy heel shtick vs. Killian Dain was something else. Sanity vs. Undisputed Era was solid, but the beatdown was eh and the match was setting up a Dain over-the-top-rope bump that didn’t deliver. Liked them treating Nikki Cross as Adam Cole’s equal. Newsworthy stuff!
When did Adam Eget start doing Performance Center interviews?
Holy shit the silhouette of Lars Sullivan in the ring on his entrance is awesome.
Lars vs. Roderick Strong was absolutely delightful, a wonderful sprint with zero wasted moments. Lars has been watching his Oney Lorcan tapes while Roddy was throwing back some wild chops and elbows. Non-stop intensity here, two guys who just stayed on each other – one because he’s a monster, the other because he had to. Thought commentary did a good job hard-selling how simple mistakes shifted the momentum too. Towards the end Lars took a SUPERPLEX, kicked out at one, and Roddy did his best-ever acting. Great stuff that was really fun and most importantly just got to the point.
Alright Pete Dunne vs. Tyler Bate was awesome but the clear lesser of their 2017 series. It had nowhere close to the heat, atmosphere, and just sheer amazement of the first two matches but there was still some quality pro wrestling here. You’ve got solid matwork, Dunne being a sniveling shit, some sweet FINGER work – some of it fun and nasty as hell, some a little much, if I’m being honest.
Sooo many sweet ideas here performed well – the suplex off the stairs, the Tyler Driver triangle choke counter, Tyler’s deadlift out of the triangle choke and catapult of Dunne into the ropes, stomping each other to death, Bate’s Kofi rope thing and lariat spot on the OUTSIDE, Dunne teasing getting himself counted out and Bate doing the tope con hilo. Lots of goodness, great match just a little underwhelming in that they kind of tried to go for another classic and didn’t get anywhere close to the other two.
MAIN EVENT (12/20/17)
The thing about Kalisto is that he is a pretty excellent high-flyer but they kept making him do the Lucha Lucha thing to the point where he became a geek and then they made him a cruiserweight. Anyways. He and Daivari had a match.
Curt Hawkins now has a spot where he lays down for his opponent to tease just taking the loss. It is nice. Anyways. He and Apollo Crews (now with Titus AND Dana Brooke) had a match.
WWE TV Match of the Week: Lars vs. Roddy, YEAH THAT’S RIGHT LARS VS. RODDY OVER PETE DUNNE VS. TYLER BATE.
WWE TV MVP of the Week: The Jason Jordan saga has been working for a bit, but this week it felt like it really clicked. There were like 40 minutes of TV time dedicated to this guy and most of it worked. That might be more on creative than Jordan himself, but it’s a tough spot and he’s delivering.
RAW good, SmackDown bad, NXT good, 205 Live bad, blah blah here comes 2018.
RAW: 8/10
SmackDown: 3/10
205 Live: 4/10
NXT: 8/10
