“Do you guys wanna make some predictions here, or should we just say Bludgeon Brothers across the board?”
Props to Boston. Rusev Day, dueling Nakamura/Zayn chants, an actual reaction to Dolph Ziggler… nice work, guys.
0. Zack Ryder vs. Mojo Rawley
This was good Kickoff #content. Had a good energy and a lot of nice moments – cool cutoffs like Mojo’s spinebuster and Mojo just pushing Ryder off the top rope to the outside, Mojo’s pounce into the barricade, Zack’s SLAP comeback, the foot-on-the-rope kickout off the Broski Boot, and the nasty-ass running punch for the finish. Mojo will either become a major star off of this or he’s in a nothing tag team and on SmackDown once a month – can’t see anything in between. **1/2
Marcelo Rodriguez doing YEP chants = $$$.
1. Triple Threat Match – WWE U.S. Title: Baron Corbin [c] vs. Bobby Roode vs. Dolph Ziggler
This was a pretty good match between three guys I just cannot get into. Not really their fault – they brought the action, the spots, the near falls, got a tiny This is Awesome chant… was just missing something, thanks to their runs on SmackDown for the last six months being turds. Nice Deep Six near fall, even if Roode kept his eyes open for it which is a personal pet peeve. Nice corner post bump by Corbin, even if his methods of ‘slowing it down’ nearly knock me out. And the finish did get pretty great, even if Dolph god damn Ziggler won. ***1/4
THE PEOPLE LOVE RUSEV DAY.
2. Fatal 4-Way Match – SmackDown Tag Team Title: The Usos [c] vs. The New Day (Big E & Kofi Kingston) w/ Xavier Woods vs. Shelton Benjamin & Chad Gable vs. Rusev & Aiden English
This was a fun, if not a bit messy match that was more than anything about RUSEV DAY. The 4-way within a 4-way stip kind of put a confusing damper on everything, but there were a lot of awesome spots and the last 5 minutes were DRAMATIC. Right from the bell they brought the action and it didn’t stop – the early dive-fest, Shelton’s top rope belly-to-belly, Rusev kicking Kofi’s face in, Kofi kicking Gable’s face in, and Shelton catching Kofi’s springboard with a powerbomb were all highlights. They eventually moved into some incredible teases of a possible RUSEV DAY win that the folks were going completely insane for, followed by Chad Gable throwing some astonishing Chaos Theory German suplexes on English and Big E before The Usos brought it home. Usos and New Day cemented themselves as tag team all-timers this year, but glad the other fellas got a chance to shine here. ***1/2
3. Lumberjack Match – SmackDown Women’s Title: Charlotte Flair [c] vs. Natalya
Oh cool, a Lumberjack Match. I liked Liv Morgan marking out for Charlotte’s chops. Otherwise, I dunno. My favorite thing about Charlotte and Natty matches has always been their matwork and this cut all of that out so the SmackDown ladies could throw bad punches at each other. Charlotte doing the moonsault to the outside and just landing on her feet sure was something. I’m a big proponent of gimmicky bullshit in my pro wrestling, but this was an example of gimmicky bullshit just crapping on everything. *3/4
4. Breezango vs. The Bludgeon Brothers
The Bludgeon Brothers stalk to the ring, shrouded in hoods and carrying their mallets, passing by a fan dressed as Santa Claus, a screaming child, and a grown man carrying a small piece of posterboard referencing a mid-90s wrestling tag team. This. Is. Professional. Wrestling. Another effective squash by the Bludgeon Brothers. *1/2
5. If Owens and Zayn Lose, They Are Fired from WWE: Randy Orton & Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn (Special Guest Referees: Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan)
The first part of this was built around Shane and Bryan being off on their counts, which was… a choice. Liked Zayn’s uppercut sell and the crowd being into Zayn vs. Nak. And then… well. I mean, I guess we should’ve saw this coming based on the output of everybody involved here for the last couple months. I feel like nobody involved in this wants to be here. Nobody has the desire (or the buy-in) to actually put together something interesting. And so they just do… stuff, while Shane and Bryan fidget with their earpieces. Orton waiting FOREVER on that draping DDT was the icing on the turd cake. Wherever they are headed towards might be interesting, but the journey to get there continues to be a dud. Yay for Bryan having the fire in his eyes going head-to-head with Shane, at least. **1/4
6. WWE Title: AJ Styles [c] vs. Jinder Mahal w/ The Singh Brothers
Somebody backstage liked AJ vs. Brock (with good reason), so they run this as a squash for most of it. And that is the right call. AJ targets Jinder’s leg a bit (to set up the finish awwww what a guy), but Jinder is mostly on offense and AJ is AJ – just wrecking his gut on the top rope and toppling to the floor, going full tilt into the steel frame of the barricade, selling a gutbuster like death. Jinder works his holds and milks those boos in between it all. It all built well into the finish which rocked, both guys looking all desperate to win and shit. I love it when professional wrestlers look desperate to win. LOVE that the Calf Crusher won it.
***3/4
A mixed bag of a show – a couple really good matches, a couple stinkers. SmackDown sucks, but it’s not like the folks on the roster aren’t talented. Some of them finally got a chance to go and delivered. Two of the three marquee matches didn’t though. I had a good enough time at the wrestling matches but that’s because I’m a completist and am willing to watch it all. In the grand scheme of things, if you don’t ever see this show ya don’t miss much. 5/10
