Saw Star Wars: The Last Jedi.
Had some issues with it that hindered my enjoyment a bit, but it was also so fun that said issues didn’t matter.
Wrestling is kind of the same sometimes. Give me hammy characters, big spots, a couple OH SHIT moments and I’m good. Miss out on that stuff and I’m questioning your story structure and whatnot.
Don’t make me question your story structure. I don’t want to. I don’t like doing it.
But if your story structure is going to have some inherent issues, then at least make it so fun I’m not questioning it.
I’m looking at you, SmackDown.
RAW (12/11/17)
Hey this was another good RAW. Monday night wrestling has been really fun for a long time and we should recognize that.
Stacked show here – 3 singles matches, 2 of which were awesome, plus BRAUN, Drew Gulak, and Jason Jordan getting over.
But where was Elias?
Fine opening segment, Joe is a great promo and it set the tone for a night of WRESTLING.
Not completely confident in dominant ring warrior being the right gimmick to bring Mandy Rose in with. Otherwise, the Bayley/Mickie vs. Paige/Mandy was OK, if not a little heatless.
Drew Gulak being oblivious to the Enzo Amore and Nia Jax thing is a treasure. Big fan of Drew Gulak becoming a show-stealer on Monday and Tuesday nights.
Finn Balor vs. Curtis Axel was a perfectly fine midcard bullshit match. Axel removing his neck brace was a MOMENT. They should do more with it.
Seth Rollins vs. Sheamus was very fun – Rollins’ early run, Sheamus’ big knee to take over, Sheamus going after the leg and Rollins mostly selling it, the Texas Cloverleaf near fall, the POP for the sudden superplex by Rollins… all that plus me freaking out over Sheamus’ spinal stenosis. Great stuff.
The 205 Live 4-Way Re-Do was another solid 205 Live 4-way. Mustafa Ali was an absolute freak in this match. Really makes ya wonder how 205 could be if they had any good heels. Although – two points. Daivari and Cedric “punching” each other to set up the Nese dive was an embarrassment to the sport of professional wrestling. And I cannot believe that these fellas STILL managed to fit a chinlock into a 4-way.
“He wasn’t flying, he was falling – he used gravity to his advantage… he’s a TECHNICIAN.” – Drew Gulak, folks
ROMAN REIGNS VS. CESARO. TALK ABOUT A WRESTLING MATCH. Fast-paced, physical, intense, great timing, told a story. Just a rollercoaster of a crazy fun pro wrestling match with all the good stuff – arm work, Roman selling, big spots, big moments, impressive feats of strength, a god damn eye poke. And it’s all being done by two guys who might just be in their primes.
Reigns’ selling was a damn masterpiece here – treating it as if his arm had more of a muscle tear than a broken bone, still fighting through the pain but always giving big reactions to remind you he’s in pain. And the crowd is with ALL OF IT, even straight-up OOOOOWWAAAAAAA’ing with Roman down the stretch.
So many highlights – Cesaro countering a rollup and just hammering on Roman’s arm, just LARIATING Roman’s arm, Roman selling the Fujiwara, the big time euro uppercut, Roman lifting out of the crossface > Cesaro rolling into The Swing > ROMAN FUCKING USING HIS CORE STRENGTH TO LIFT HIMSELF UP AND OVER CESARO TO DO A SCHOOLBOY FOLLOWED BY A DEADLIFT SIT-OUT POWERBOMB OH MY GOD. Roman was a damn nut here – him just lawn darting himself into the post and crashing to the floor almost made me puke. The spear at the finish was kind of weak, otherwise this was an epic.
All the RAW divas teaming up to run off Absolution was kind of cool.
Dean Ambrose vs. Samoa Joe, the main event of SummerSlam (for the WWE Title, no less) in the Master of None Universe, took place on this show and it was pretty good. Lots of storytelling BS with Jason Jordan too which just didn’t let the match ever click. I did like the idea behind it though and the Jordan stuff continues to be interesting. JJ’s got shit with EVERYBODY – Braun, Joe, now Ambrose. This is working.
I dunno about Ambrose though. The Shield rules, obviously. But he is a guy who has been going HARD in WWE main events for like four years straight with almost no time off and it’s starting to make me feel uncomfortable. He’s a clear #TopGuy, a superstar, but while his selling is one of the best things about him (mostly because he legitimately seems broken), he is also starting to seem very cautious about everything he does too. I wouldn’t be shocked to see some time off, injury or not, in his future.
Titus Worldwide (now with Dana Brooke) and Gallows & Anderson abruptly ending their little angle to back off from Braun Strowman as he stormed towards the ring was AWESOME.
Let us take a moment and appreciate the Braun Strowman vs. Kane Tale of the Tape, which included a “Monstrous Moment” for each man that was as follows:
Braun Strowman: “Flipped over an ambulance with Roman Reigns trapped inside”
Kane: “Crushed Braun Strowman inside a garbage truck at TLC”
Love the sports entertainment.
Anyways, Braun vs. Kane wasn’t much but it was yet another match pretty perfectly designed to make Braun a star. It was kind of fast-paced for a bit, for a 2017 Kane match at least. But then both guys basically worked 2.9 kickout style and it was kind of not good. But Braun did a dropkick and Kane backed away scared from him, so whatever it worked. The post-match brawl was a better match than the actual match.
BRAUN STROWMAN DID THE UNDERTAKER SIT-UP!!!!
SMACKDOWN (12/12/17)
SmackDown isn’t good. But The Bludgeon Brothers and The Usos kind of brought the goods.
Liked AJ Styles in the opening promo – real good command and the crowd was with him, even if the material was rough (quite the trend on SmackDown). Also dug The Singh Brothers’ obnoxious music and the HUGE Jinder Sucks chants.
The Ruby Riott vs. Charlotte Flair match was OK enough, a real basic collection of maneuvers before the DQ finish. Then Naomi returned, everyone brawled, and it was kind of an embarrassing wrestling segment overall.
Apparently Dolph Ziggler is going for the Hangman Adam Page look now. Bobby Roode vs. Baron Corbin was the same lifeless angle/match as last week, with meaningless action before guy on commentary hits his finish. Bad.
The Bludgeon Brothers squash was Very Good for several reasons: first, COLIN DELANEY made his triumphant return as food for the Brothers. Second, Delaney’s partner’s girly scream as the Brothers hit their finish was incredible. Third, The Bludgeon Brothers are excellent at wrecking people. A fine 5 minutes of pro wrestling action.
The YEP Movement is a wonderful idea bogged down by a crappy storyline. The YEP Movement is also a wonderful way to handle the usual Shane/Owens/Zayn/Bryan bullshit SmackDown exposition promos. If you’re going to dryly recount the last few months of crappy stories, at least say YEP afterwards. Anyways – have I mentioned how little this whole Shane/Owens/Zayn/Bryan thing is doing it for me? Shane doesn’t give a shit, Bryan can’t wrestle, and Owens and Zayn stink as Top Guy Heels. STINK.
Usos vs. Rusev/English was solid – Rusev’s bearhug, Uso tope into a Rusev right hand, Uso hot tag, New Day on commentary, English pulling out a big win. All solid. Though the pre-match promo by Gable and Benjamin was disgusting – Gable’s a way better ironic geek than guy who actually thinks he is cool. That was rough.
The Orton and Nakamura in-ring interview was something that would have been so cool in a studio TV setting.
Owens vs. Nakamura was – shocker – a stinker of a match. They did STUFF, but it just never got bumping because these two have no chemistry, are generally overrated, and in the current SmackDown landscape have absolutely zero buzz to them. Bryan vs. Byron on commentary was a more interesting angle than Owens & Zayn vs. anybody.
All this plus The Fashion Files mystery being blown off on WWE.com, Mojo Rawley disappearing after his hot turn… STEP YOUR GOD DAMN GAME UP, SMACKDOWN.
205 LIVE (12/12/17)
Yes. This show is still airing weekly.
Is the new 205 Live directive to do “promos” before the match to explain the “stories” more? That’s what’ll save 205 Live – more promos.
Cedric Alexander vs. Ariya Daivari was an Ariya Daivari match. They did the thing, the spots, the heat, the lumbar check. Gulak shouting stuff on a megaphone was the best part.
Look – you put Kalisto vs. Jack Gallagher in a high school gymnasium and it probably goes well. But I didn’t buy it here. Kalisto did almost the same core strength counter (this time of a stretch muffler) than Roman did vs. Cesar but it wasn’t as cool.
Lucha Dragons Part 2 vs. Kendrick & Gallagher setup, OK. Whatever.
Nigel referring to Hideo Itami as a hurricane – too soon, man.
Despite 205 Live being generally lifeless and bad every single week, Drew Gulak asking Enzo “Why do ya gotta fight Tony?”, as if they were in The Outsiders or something as amazing.
Enzo’s “Technical Spectacle” line was nice, I guess.
But MAN. The SILENCE for the Tony Nese beatown angle. And then the THIS IS BORING chants. What a special bunch of awkwardness by The Zo Train crew.
NXT (12/13/17)
This week’s NXT aired on both the USA Network and the WWE Network. Only difference outside of placement of a SAnitY promo was the Network had Ember Moon vs. Peyton Royce and a Street Profits promo, while USA got an Ember video package.
Anyways, good show. Fun quick matches + a few video packages or promos hyping folks up – that’s the ticket.
Andrade Almas vs. Fabian Aichner was another example of Aichner making the most of his moments. Guy has the flying, guy has the power. Did an insane springboard plancha and springboard tornado DDT, as well as a straight-up POWERBOMB before Almas got the W. Very, very good 5-minute TV match. Very good.
Oney Lorcan is god damn Sabu, even in nothing matches I can’t keep my eyes off this guy as I just wanna see what this motherfucker is going to do. He and Danny Burch vs. The Authors of Pain was over in a minute but man was it fun while it lasted, highlighted by Oney just slapping the shit out of the Authors and taking a DVD in the corner right on his head.
SHAYNA BASZLER VIGNETTE!!!
Ember Moon vs. Peyton Royce was pretty good, highlighted by Royce clearly coming into her own. She’s confident, has her moveset down, is really mean and into the character, reacts big to all the right stuff, and took a huge Eclipse bump. Very nice. Decent angle post-match too, with Nikki Cross saving Moon from the Iconic Duo beatdown. Love Nikki Cross.
Aleister Black vs. Adam Cole was GOOD. By far the best thing Cole’s done in NXT, while Black continues to have an amazing back half of the year. Cole upped the cockishness with the kiss after escaping the headscisors and all the ADAM COLE BAY-BAY calls, while Black kept coming back by striking the shit out of him. Black GRABBING Cole’s leg to block the superkick followed by the awesome knee to the face was NICE. Tremendous Black Mass to finish it too.
HUGE NXT next week – NXT Tag Titles match, Bate/Dunne UK Title rematch. The brand is HEATING UP.
MAIN EVENT (12/13/17)
Let us just state the obvious: Curt Hawkins’ theme shtick is still great. He wrassled Rhyno this week and it was perfectly fine. Rhyno just has a natural dynamic with anybody as the powerful stocky guy, and he always plays it up in a simple smart way. Out of all the guys they re-signed for the brand split (Jinder, Hawkins, Shelton) I think he’s the best.
Metalik/Tozawa vs. Kendrick/Jack was crazy basic stuff but had its moments – Metalik being Metalik, Tozawa being Tozawa, double topes, Kendrick slowing it down. Whatevs.
TRIBUTE TO THE TROOPS (12/14/17)
OOOOHHHH AMERRICAAAA!!!! DON’T YOU DARE BE SOUR! IT’S TRIBUTE TO THE TROOPS!
Highly enjoyed this show. The outside daylight aesthetic, the troops popping for everything, house show looseness, every match being like 5 minutes long with everybody getting their shit in … great stuff.
The POP for Charlotte Flair! The HEAT for Aiden English! The CONFUSION for Shinsuke Nakamura!
The Shield 6-man vs. Joe & The Bar was the clear wrestling highlight. High energy, fast-paced, pops for everything, quick heat segments, faces double teaming, heels bumping – loved it. The Neutralizer setup on Reigns followed by the back body drop and Superman punch was awesome.
I watched this show in the wee hours of the night and audibly said to myself, LAURA DERN IS IN STAR WARS?
Charlotte vs. Carmella vs. Ruby Riott was alright – fast-paced, kept it moving, kept it interesting. If you really want to support the troops though, give em a moonsault to the outside.
STEPHEN COLBERT ON WWE PROGRAMMING – YES.
New Day/Usos vs. Rusev Day/American Alpha 2.0 was another crowd-pleasing high-energy tag. Loved English’s superkick bump.
Absolution vs. Sasha/Bayley/Mickie was fine. Got a kick out of Cole and Saxton spouting off facts about Mandy and Deville like they were doing their best Jim Ross commentating New Japan impression.
Styles/Orton/Nakamura vs. Owens/Zayn/Jinder was real basic stuff but like everything else on this show perfectly fine fun. Orton sliding into the ring as Nakamura got the 3-count was nice. And the choppy edit of the soldier lady reacting to Orton setting up the double DDT on the Singhs was real nice.
WWE TV Match of the Week: Roman Reigns vs. Cesaro, top quality stuff from two top quality pro wrestlers.
WWE TV MVP of the Week: THE TROOPS, BAY-BEEE. But also… Roman Reigns has already had an all-time great year, and he’s closing it out with an Open Challenge that’s already rivaling Cena’s. Amazing.
RAW good, SmackDown bad – the saga continues.
RAW: 8/10
SmackDown: 4/10
205 Live: 3/10
NXT: 8/10
