It’s Friday night, and here I am, fighting off a cold and watching the World Tag League matches that went up on New Japan World. Sacrificing myself for the greater good. Tama Tonga is my chicken soup for the soul, guys.
Beretta & Chucky T vs. Tama Tonga & Tanga Loa (Block B)
Best Friends tone down the comedy shtick in this one and work the match as straight babyfaces, which seems to get over better with the crowd. Guerrilas do their usual enthusiastic heel stuff and troll Beretta over his heavyweight newbie status. There’s a fun bit of crowd brawling where Beretta dives off a barricade or something. It’s all a bunch of perfectly fine tag-team wrestling, just lacking in drama as it all starts moving towards to the finish. Beretta manages to avoid GOD’s double-team finisher and picks up the win for his team with the Dudebuster. **3/4
Michael Elgin & Jeff Cobb vs. Tomohiro Ishii & Toru Yano (Block B)
Cobb got a short but explosive introduction on the Korakuen tour opener, suplexing the hell out of everyone. Here we get a better look at him, and he’s definitely from the same Indie Power Fighter mold as Elgin, but without much personality. And it’s not like Elgin has the most vibrant personality, so draw your own conclusions, folks. Ishii, being one of the most reliable guys around, works really well with both of them, having a bunch of tough guy forearm exchanges that get the crowd going. Elgin kind of overdoes it with the leg-slapping FOREARM OF DEATH in this match, throwing like 12 of them. Yano does Yano stuff but doesn’t get in the way too much. There’s a kid in the crowd that laughs hysterically at all of his shtick, which is kind of adorable. Ishii eats a ridiculous run of offense from Elgin and Cobb for the finish before falling to Big Mike’s Elgin Bomb. Mostly good stuff for a house show league match. **3/4
Yuji Nagata & Manabu Nakanishi vs. Hangman Page & Yujiro Takahashi (Block A)
Nagata and Manabu are way over in this building. The New Japan Dads are truly the kings of the house show circuit. Page and Yujiro have an actually funny dynamic together, Page referring to the Tokyo Pimp as ‘’BIG YUJ’’. They do a hilarious spot where Manabu blocks a Yujiro sunset-flip so Hangman just catapults his own partner into the guy’s nuts. TAG-TEAM WRESTLING! That being said, I still don’t fully get Page. He’s a gaijin working this old school hangman gimmick, but he also does a lot of very random SWEET INDIE FLIPS. He throws out a Shooting star off the apron on Nagata that barely connects and I am very puzzled by this man. Yujiro takes out Manabu with the Pimp Juice, ending an okay wrestling match with a super hot crowd. **1/2
Hiroyoshi Tenzan & Satoshi Kojima vs. Bad Luck Fale & Chase Owens (Block A)
The New Japan Dads love-fest keeps going with this match as Tenkoji get a huge response from the fans. AS THEY SHOULD! Owens has been trolling Tenkoji for the whole Road to Power Struggle tour, stealing their signature spots and what not. We get more of that here, with lots of stoogey heeling and working over Kojima to build up the babyface comeback. Fale applies the TOO SWEET nerve hold at some point. Some nasty submission work, my friends. Tenkoji get in all of their crowd-pleasing spots: the slingshot elbowdrop/falling headbutt combo, Tenzan’s Mountain bomb and of course Kojima’s ICCHAUZO BAKAYARO flying elbow. The crowd eats it all up. Most of the match is pure formula, but the ending stretch has some surprisingly effective near-falls and reversals. Kojima ends up getting dumped by the Bad Luck Fall for the finish. The hot crowd pushes this all the way into three star territory, baby. ***
David Finlay & Katsuya Kitamura vs. Lance Archer & Davey Boy Smith Jr (Block B)
Still sad that Oka didn’t make the tag league, but it’s good to see my favorite Roid Lion getting a SHOT AT THE BIG TIME! This match is worked exactly like how a match pitting the monster tag champs against two young midcarders should be worked. Kitamura takes an extended heel beatdown and sells his ass off. Crowd gets behind him and Archer tells them to shut up a lot. Finlay gets the hot tag run of offense, then Kitamura gets a chance to shine once he comes back in and damn near MILITARY PRESSES Archer, which is just… Jesus. KES never look like they’re in too much trouble, which is how it should be. They take Finlay out of the equation and put out Kitamura with the Killer Bomb. Basic but efficient tag wrestling with everyone playing their roles well. **1/2
Togi Makabe & Henare vs. Raymond Rowe & Hanson (Block B)
Same formula as the last match, except maybe 25% more competitive and with a lot more fruity War Machine double-team spots. Raymond Rowe has the same problem as Michael Elgin: he abuses the shit out of the leg-slapping sound effect. Maybe not do it on every single strike? I don’t know. Crowd is mostly dead for this one but wake up for Hanson’s fat guy athleticism. Henare does a good job as the heavyweight young lion fighting for his life against Indie Road Warrior Bros. Dug the top-rope flying shoulderblock and Samoan drop. He eventually goes down the Fallout from War Machine. Not bad or anything, but a lot of this wasn’t clicking for me. **1/4
Bad Luck Fale & Chase Owens vs. Yujiro Takahashi & Hangman Page (Block A)
BATTLE OF THE BULLET CLUB! On one level, this is the usual comedy you’d expect from these guys. They try to avoid doing any actual wrestling and what not. On another level, they actually keep the Bullet Club schism subplot going by doing some in-fighting over the Too Sweet and the One Sweet hand signs. Page and Owens also have a bunch of WRESTLING together and most of it is okay. Page pulls off a pair of crazy Moonsaults and I’m forced to admit that even if his gimmick makes no sense, his stuff looks good. After more in-fighting shenanigans, Chase catches Yujiro with a flash schoolboy for the pin. Harmless. **
Hiroyoshi Tenzan & Satoshi Kojima vs. Yuji Nagata & Manabu Nakanishi (Block A)
NEW JAPAN DADS COLLIDE! This is a small-time venue in the middle of Japanese nowhere, but it doesn’t matter, all four of these illustrious men are FIRED UP and ready to have some wrestling. Nagata and Manabu assert dominance early and beat the crap out of Kojima, Nagata unloading with his usual stiff kicks. Once Tenzan gets the hot tag, the match turns into the expected back and forth affair and everyone keeps things moving at a relatively fast pace. Nakanishi is in Big Match Mode, which means we get a big TOP-ROPE CROSS BODY! Love it. Some of the execution takes a dip in the later portion of the match, which ends up hurting the finish and overall crowd response. Still, a really fun match between four hard working old guys. Kojima takes the win by beheading both Nagata and Manabu with big lariats. **3/4
EVIL & SANADA vs. Minoru Suzuki & Takashi Iizuka (Block A)
Minoru keeps on delivering the goods in the tag league as this match is boatloads of fun. Suzuki-Gun go all out with the heeling and just stomp a mudhole into EVIL. Minoru brings the stiffness and submissions targeting EVIL’s injured arm, while Iizuka brings the biting and VILLAINOUS FOREIGN OBJECTS. Suzuki also really seems to hate SANADA for some reason, which cracks me up. Probably has something to do with SANADA’s punky hairstyle stealing his thunder. SANADA’s hot tag run of offense has all of the cool SANADA spots that YOU need: the double leap-frog dropkick, the tumble-up springboard dropkick and the Paradise lock. Then in comes EVIL and the guy is such a good fired up babyface, it’s ridiculous. Team LIJ almost get the win when they trap their opponents simultaneously in the Skull End and the Banshee Muzzle (best move name in wrestling), but El Desperado gets involved and helps turn the match around for his boyz. With the ref distracted, Iizuka clocks EVIL with the IRON FINGERS OF DEATH and Minoru connects with the Gotch-style Piledriver for the win. Dug all of this. ***
Juice Robinson & Sami Callihan vs. Hirooki Goto & YOSHI-HASHI (Block A)
This match makes me realize that as much as I don’t care for him, YOSHI-HASHI, with his unexplainable Journey to the West-inspired gimmick, is actually the perfect partner for Goto, the traditional Japanese warrior bro. They’re even perfectly color coordinated. Anyway, this is some really enjoyable tag-team wrestling that just zips along, further cementing Death Juice’s statuses as the workhorses of this tournament. Like at the Korakuen tour opener, Callihan does a bunch of batshit stuff: low-altitude tope suicida, Exploder into the turnbuckle, kissing YOSHI-HASHI on the mouth. He also has a ‘’JUICE!’’ shouting match with some dude in the crowd that comically goes on forever. The CHAOS guys have their working boots on and everyone looks like a million bucks. They do a new double-team, fusing YOSHI-HASHI’s Bunker Buster with Goto’s GTR. I need some time to think about if I like that one. Whatever, WRESTLING! YOSHI-HASHI eats Sami’s double-arm shoulderbreaker and then the Pulp Friction for the pin. Reaaaal good. Legitimately can’t wait to watch Sami try to kiss Minoru Suzuki. ***
David Finlay & Katsuya Kitamura vs. Tomohiro Ishii & Toru Yano (Block B)
We’re in a new house show venue with super weird lighting. The crowd is literally PITCH BLACK. Finlay and Big Katsu attack at the bell and off we go. The big highlight here is Kitamura going up against Ishii and it’s an awesome thing. At first, it seems like Ishii’s going to completely bully the muscle bro, but Kitamura actually manages to hold his own and has Ishii reeling from his DEATH CHOPS. My boy Katsuya also tries out some new offense, including Military press/hot shot thing and a classy gutwrench suplex. Ishii actually gives Kitamura a bunch of kickouts and the crowd loves it. He eventually puts the Old Lion away with a naaasty Brainbuster. Totally fine. **1/2
Togi Makabe & Henare vs. Tama Tonga & Tanga Loa (Block B)
This is a bunch of wrestling right here. Henare gets a big opening flurry and shows off some sweet armdrags. Then the Guerrillas beat the crap out of him until Uncle Makabe comes to the rescue. A lot of the match is brutally generic: lots of Makabe lariats and GOD talking shit. Henare keeps showing a lot of promise though. The guy could be an ideal Big Young Lion rival for Kitamura. Loa takes it home with a Blue Thunder followed by the Apeshit on Henare. **1/4
Raymond Rowe & Hanson vs. Beretta & Chucky T (Block B)
Best Friends crank up the shtick for the first half of the match, and it kind of works this time around. They do their comedy bits and basically work as preening heels against War Machine’s big monster types. For a while, it’s a more entertaining dynamic than the usual War Machine tag. Then you get the usual back and forth move-trading: some good stuff, some less good stuff. Again, Rowe’s body-slapping sound effets on every strike are crazy distracting. I swear, this shit is my new wrestling pet peeve. There’s a bunch of crowd-popping crazy stuff, some head-dropping suplexes, some fat man high-flying. But none of these guys have much personality once you move past the Best Friends comedy. I don’t know. Nothing about this was actively bad, but I never fully got into it either. The drama wasn’t there. **3/4
Michael Elgin & Jeff Cobb vs. Lance Archer & Davey Boy Smith Jr (Block B)
Davey Boy’s skinny jeans are ON POINT in this match. With the single camera, bad lighting and mostly quiet crowd, this match is just painful to get through. The thing goes on forever and KES make Cobb look like a complete jobber until the last few minutes where he gets some spots in. I usually appreciate KES being real heelish heels, but in this house show context, all of it just falls flat. A bunch of stuff happens and there’s no real story going on other than GUYS doing STUFF. Elgin slaps his leg a lot, not wanting to be outdone by Raymond Rowe. Cobb does a Shooting star headbutt at some point, which might be the dumbest move in wrestling. There’s a long your-move-my-move pile-up with everyone throwing big bombs and then KES catch Cobb with the Killer Bomb for the finish. Just could not get into this at all. **1/4
Aaaand this is all the house show tag league wrestling I can take! You literally don’t need to see any of this stuff unless you really love EVIL, SANADA, Juice and Sami and absolutely want to seek out their matches. Nothing is out-right BAD, but the hard cam and poor mic’ing are just rough for morale. I will see you at Korakuen Hall, where the action (and production value) will hopefully pick up a bit.
